Perfect Snapshots: Episode Twenty-three: Jokes

10/9/2019

Perfect Snapshots: Episode Twenty-three: Jokes

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Episode Twenty-three: Jokes

Warning: this episode contains graphic sexual descriptions. Reader discretion is advised. Intended for a mature audience only. (18+)

For the first time in ages, I fell asleep and didn't have to set my alarm. It was amazing. And Bella woke me up in the best way. We were both nude, and she kept brushing her ass against me until I was pressed between her already moist thighs. We played sleepily until the teasing was too much, and we lazily fucked on our sides. I was barely awake, but it was terrific.

“Make me cum again,” my tiny sweet girlfriend begged me as I began to kiss her throat softly after we had finished. I could hear the wanting in her voice.

“How?”

She turned her face to the side to look at me. “I don’t care. I just need to feel you.”

I had never felt more goddamn wanted in my entire life. Moving my hand over the front of her thighs, I just gently caressed them until she spread her legs opened for me. She adjusted so that one of them was over mine, bent back. It made her so opened to me.

“It's so easy to play with you like this,” I murmured teasingly in her ear. I moved one finger over her sensitive clit. She had cum before, and I wasn't sure how much she could handle. Bella whimpered quietly, her ass rolling against me. I was spent, wet and sensitive, but it still felt good. Just watching her made me feel good. It was brilliant for my ego. She looked so beautiful, flushed and panting, and she looked that way because of me.

“That feels incredible. You're so good at this,” she praised me in a tiny breath as I continued to lightly stroke her wet lips and clit.

My other hand moved over her breast, squeezing her nipple between my fingers. She brought her fingers on top of mine and squeezed it as well.

“My love,” I gasped sleepily as her wet body ground against mine in just the right way. “My beautiful love.”

Her wild hair was everywhere around us, softly pressed against my cheek as I kissed her shoulders, neck, and ears. Bella smelled delicious. Coconut, vanilla, and just the faintest hint of coffee as well as sex. My girlfriend smelled like the perfect morning.

“Ed-” She began to moan my name but squeaked when I tweaked her nipple somewhat hard. Bella let out a breathy giggle. Carefully she smoothed her fingers over my cheek, turning her face so that we could kiss. Her ass pressed harder and harder against me, practically begging to be fucked again. I was having so much fun. When I finally slipped a finger inside her, my palm pressed against her clit. Her mouth opened against mine as she moaned.

And then Bella began to fully ride my hand, both of us working together as I fingered her. When I added another, she pressed one of hers on top of mine between her legs. Her hips rocked and bucked against my palm in time with my movements. I could feel her wetness grow.

“Mm, Eddie,” she hummed as her nose rubbing against my cheek. “Fuck, I love your hands,” she whimpered. “They're so big and soft and I- Ohh…” she shuddered as she came on my fingers, but I didn't stop. She whimpered, her fingers holding onto my wrist.

“You what? Keep going, I’m enjoying your flattery,” I teased. “It works for me, too.”

She giggled, grabbing my hair and pulling me into a kiss as she rode out her climax with slow swirling hips.

“You know exactly what to do with them,” she said against my mouth. “I like how you touch all of me. I’m not sure that I’ve ever felt this good.”

“Okay, you don't have to lie,” I joked, pushing my fingers deep inside of her with my palm hard against the mound between her legs. She held me there with both of her hands as her hips moved. I could feel the orgasm beginning to twitch again. “Oh, fuck,” I gasped as my own arousal gripped my stomach. I was fully hard once more, and every movement teased me further. “I've never felt like this. I've never wanted anyone more in my life. I love fucking you.”

One more became two before pulling away slowly. Bella pushed me onto my back, rolling over finally so that she could kiss me. As we did, I massaged myself with my wet hand. I just wanted to relieve some of the tension. She slid hers over my stomach, watching me hungrily for a long moment. Carefully she moved to her knees beside me and began to kiss down my stomach lovingly. I stroked her hair, just enjoying watching her.

Bella looked so happy to take me into her mouth. She hummed loudly, sending vibrations throughout my whole body. I pushed my hips up a little as I tried to control my breathing.

“Do you really enjoy doing that?”

“Oh, yes,” she breathed as she looked up at me, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear before licking me. Her fingers twisted around me, moving slowly. “I love it. It's…” Bella thought about how she wanted to answer me. “It's sort of an act of submission on both of our parts. We both have to trust each other to enjoy it fully.” She kept playing with me as she spoke.

“What do you mean?” I quietly asked. Bella smiled and sucked on my head for just a moment before bringing her hand up to take advantage of the moisture left behind.

“You could hurt me right now. Grab my head and ram it down my throat. Or do whatever you wanted to. I have to trust you not to. And obviously, you have to trust me not to use teeth.” To make a point, she very gently brushed hers along my head. I shuddered hard.

“Use teeth a little,” I said a tiny voice. She moved her mouth down my shaft and dragged hers carefully up over my head. “Yeah, like that. I agree with your last statement, but lets asterisks that to add, I trust you to use your teeth properly,” my jackass mouth decided to joke. It had been a while since it had been in control, and my brain had gone somewhere else as she pleasured me still with her tiny hand.

She pulled up and looked at me, laughing. “Okay, yeah. I like a little teeth, too.”

“I know you do, baby,” I commented with a wildly confident smile, playing with her hair. I was in a great mood.

“I know you do,” she purred back at me as she began to suck on me again, stroking as she did. “Last night,” Bella licked down my length then back up the top, “was without a doubt the best experience of my life. Your mouth is incredible.”

Slowly, I moved my hand over her back and down the curve of her ass.

“I love eating you,” I admitted as my fingers smoothed between her legs. She moved to give me better access, making me smile at her eagerness. “I'm going to do it again after I make you cum while you suck on my cock,” I promised, pushing my fingers inside her from behind.

She slowly and sensually pleasured me with her hand, mouth, tongue, teeth, and lips as I fingered her again. After several minutes, I felt the promises of another. I sat up a little and began to work in earnest to push her over the edge. Bella moaned loudly around me, rocking on her knees.

She pulled away and quickly came up to kiss me. I pushed her onto her back so that I could hover over her. We made out for several long delightful moments.

“Edward, I’m not lying,” she whispered. “I don’t know if I have the words to tell you how much I enjoy being with you. Like this. In every way.”

I whimpered at the sensation of her swirling hips, so she ground against me some more. My erection was pressed against her wet clit perfectly, and it felt so good. I rocked against her until tiny mewing sounds left her throat. When she came again, gentle and gradual, it coated me completely.

I didn't even need to touch her with my hands or be inside of Bella to get her off.

“You certainly get wet enough for me.” I grinned as I moved between her legs after we switched positions once more. Spreading them wide, I began to press light kisses onto her tender flesh. As soon as my tongue touched her, her thighs began to shake. “Do you like what I do to you?”

“Yes.” She ran both of her hands through my hair, holding me in place. “Oh, fuck… Yes.”

I'm not sure how many times I got her off altogether, but it was amazing. We had sex that went on for literal hours. After our second bought in a row, I fell asleep with her head on my shoulder and her thigh over mine.

After our short nap, we took a lovely shower. We talked about her tattoos for a little while, and Bella told me some of their stories. When I asked if she would pick one out for me, she laughed like I was stupid.

“No. I ain't picking anyone's tattoo out. But I'll go with you to get another one. I loved it. And I can hold your hand this time,” she promised in her cute thick accent.

“We're going to have to make a list of videos we want to make when you come back. I'm sorry, I'm assuming you'll want to be in them again,” I swiftly added. I kept just thinking of her in my future by my side, doing everything with me.

“I absolutely want to be in them with you. I think making a list would be a great idea,” she smiled up at me as she spoke. Then I remembered a video that we needed to make together for sure. I smirked to myself.

“Have you figured what torturous video you're going to put me through for our bet?”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head a little. “I was just messing with you.”

“I figured, but I still dropped at the end. You must have had something in mind.”

She turned her back to me and began to rinse her hands, then she glanced back at me. “I wanted to give a makeup tutorial...”

“Oh! Really? That doesn't seem so bad.” That was perfect for Bella. She was so lovely, and her makeup was always on point.

She patted my chest. “On you, sweetie. The makeup would be on you.”

“Oh... Oh!” I was a dumbass. I should have seen it coming. After all, I had sisters. Bella putting it on me was going to be hilarious, though. “Dammit, that's a good idea for a video.”

She laughed wickedly, smiling to herself.

“All I'd need to do is to get you some foundation and some concealer because we're totally different skin tones.”

“The party isn't until six,” I muttered, looking up as I thought. “So, if you want to run out and go get that, we can get some food and pick that up. If we have time, we can do the video before we go.”

“Sure,” she said before pulling me down for a sweet, slow kiss. “It'll get you so many views, I promise.”

“Goddammit, probably.”

Frankly, getting to spank her and then jerk off on her twice was well worth whatever was about to happen to me. Hell, if she could find a dress big enough... I was not above drag for a laugh as a teenager. I had even shaved my legs more than once and worn stockings. But women’s thigh highs came up just over my knees.

After a shopping trip and a quick lunch, we went back to the house. Bella got her supplies while I set up, pulling down the green screen. We sat behind the desk together, the makeup spread out in front of us. I was pouting the whole time.

“You start it.”

She smirked prettily. “Okay. You're just annoyed you didn't think of it first.”

“I am!” I whined. She was right. It was right in front of me. I had bought her all of that makeup after all. “And now I have so many other stupid ideas with makeup,” I complained as I rubbed my hands roughly over my cheeks. “As always, you are an inspiration.”

Makeup challenges. Makeup on Seth. Makeup on Tyler. Lauren, Tyler’s funny girlfriend, getting a crack at us. She did costume makeup regularly. Me trying to put on my own makeup. All of us idiots basically taking turns doing each other’s makeup terribly. Themed challenges. They could all go under my costumes playlist. I could probably milk fifty videos from it if I really tried. Hell, when I visited my sisters, I could let them have a go. Jasper, too. I could just imagine putting lipstick on with that goofy hipster mustache of his.
She giggled. “Add it to the list.”

“Yeah,” I sighed heavily. It was going to be a big list. “I will. Three, two, one...” She kind of rolled her eyes at my attitude, smiling a little to herself.

“Hi, my name is Bella Swan, and this is Edward Cullen, and I'm going to give Eddie a whole new look today. And do you want to tell them why, babe?” She looked over at me slowly as her smile turned downright evil. She was just eating this up and having so much fun. It was so infectious, but I wanted to try to keep up our little game.

“Insert me making a bet I couldn't possibly win here,” I deadpanned.

“Aw, you could have won. You missed it by that much,” she stated as she leaned in, putting her fingers very close together. “But you didn't. So, I'm going to make you purdy, boy.”

Damn, she was funny. Her accent was killing me. I pouted my lip out to keep from laughing.

I had no idea how fantastic it was going to feel to have her give me this attention. She just didn't do my makeup. She washed my face and rubbed it with cold, sweet-smelling creams. All I could feel was her fingers.

And then she started using little scissor around my eyes, which I could have done without, but she made my eyebrows look amazing. Like typically only makeup artists on sets made them look that good. She promised me that she would show me how to do it myself. I doubted I could, but it would be interesting to try.

Every sponge and brush she used on me felt amazing. She was gently painting my face like an artist. When I looked in the mirror, I appeared ghostly pale next to her tanned arm.

“I'm so white.”

“Don't worry, I'm working on it,” she answered distractedly.

“No, I meant just in general,” I joked lamely, earning a little smile.

She giggled again softly. “Oh. So, I think I'm going to with purple tones for your eyes,” she explained. My girl was going to make me look like Ursula from The Little Mermaid in drag, I just knew it.

“Going to make me look like I've got a black eye, eh?” I quipped stupidly.

“I could do that,” Bella confidently stated. “I've done stage makeup a few times.”

“No, make me pretty, darling,” I replied in a goofy high-pitched prissy voice as her eyes looked down into mine.

“Yes, sir,” she whispered in return, taking our teasing in a whole new direction that I instantly liked. I bit my lip, having to distract myself from pulling her down into my lap to kiss her. My hands rebelled, going to her hips and waist so that I could at least feel her. She was smiling a little the entire time.

The only part that I didn’t like was when she actually put big fake eyelashes on me.

“Don't look again until I'm all done,” she said to me as she turned the mirror around. It made me more curious than ever.

“Okay,” I murmured, trying not to laugh at how dumb I knew I must have looked, but I couldn't have possibly cared less. I just loved being touched by her.

Bella was so close to me, her breasts in my face as she bent over me. We weren't talking, and all I could hear was her soft breaths. She had such gentle little fingers.

“I was not prepared for how intimate this is. I’ve had makeup done before, but not like this,” I admitted.

“Are you enjoying it?”

“Very much so. I love how gentle you are with me.” I knew that I was a big man and could take the roughness, but I didn't always want that. She was so soft sometimes, but I also liked it when she was a little sharp.

“Good. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. Because you look sexy as fuck. I mean, I'd do you. Don't put that in the video,” she said as she turned around and pointed at the camera funnily.

“Maybe,” I joked with a smirk. “Maybe not.”

She pointed at my nose. “No.”

Then she took my chin roughly in her hand and pushed my lips open with her tiny thumb. It was so sudden and unexpected. And incredibly arousing. She leaned forward while still holding me in place and kissed me just once. Her intense eyes were focused on mine the entire time.

Bella carefully and slowly ran the lipstick over my mouth. My girlfriend was so goddamn sexy when she was in control. God, I wanted her.

“I'm going to be honest with you, I'm kind of mad at how much prettier in makeup you look compared to me,” she began very seriously, interrupting my thoughts.

“Oh, do shut up. You are so full of piss. I probably look like a Disney villain. Gender-swap Ursula.”

“Hardly.” She handed me the mirror. “Here you go.”

Oh, shit. This is unexpected.

“Whoa, I thought I was going to be more drag queen at a clown convention. I look legit. What the fuck?” I brought the mirror closer to my face to look at the work she had done. “I am fierce.”

For all of Bella's seriousness, she finally lost it and dissolved into laughter. I raised my eyebrow at her.

“I love it so much,” she gasped out.

“I look like the butch sister got her makeover,” I jested though it was entirely accurate. I looked like Tanya on steroids. “Give the outro.” I looked at myself in the mirror again.

“Okay, Narcissus,” she joked playfully. I stuck my tongue out at her. She giggled and turned to the camera. “If you enjoyed this video and want to see Eddie continue to get more in touch with his not so inner diva, please do all the buttons, bells, and whistles! Bye!”

I stupidly blew a kiss to the camera. Jasper was going to love this video so much. He was going to laugh his ass off.

I couldn't resist her a moment longer and pulled her onto my lap so that I could tickle her. When I was done, I began to take pictures with her so that I could send them to literally everyone. I looked great, and I wanted to show off the talented woman who did it.

“Thank you. That will be a fun video to edit.”

“I’m sure it will be,” she said with a happy smile. “I have to get ready now,” she informed me as she kissed my neck so as not to mess up my makeup. I caught a picture of her just as her lips puckered up right below my ear, her eyes closed with me smiling in my fantastic makeup.

First, I sent several pictures to Jasper, of course, and then my sisters in the group chat. I also sent some to my grandparents, who enjoyed my dumbness.

“Well, hello there, my foxy darling. Is there something you need to tell me?” Jasper sent back.

“I made a dumb bet with Bella and lost, and this was what I had to do… for a video.”

“She put makeup on you for a video? DO I GET TO SEE IT?!”

“Yes, of course, you get to see it.”

“Hahaha, that’s amazing. But seriously, though. She did great! You are sexy af, my friend.”

“RIGHT?! I look hot.” I sent him a gif of a chubby toddler modeling a gaudy dress in the mirror.

“Jasper says I'm sexy as fuck,” I said with a laugh to Bella as she straightened her hair by the vanity. She smirked a bit to herself, her eyes glancing up to mine in the mirror.

“Well, he's not wrong. Let me know when you wanna take it off, and I'll help you.”

I was going to tell her that I was half tempted to go just like that to the party, even if I didn't have a costume to go with the look, but my phone began to ring in my hand. It was my grandmother.

“Hello, Nana!” I began happily.

“Well, hello there, my very pretty darling,” my grandmother cooed at me humorously. “I do hope that it is for a costume. If not, I must say it's a very bold color for the daytime.” My grandmother was an amusing and charming woman.

“No, not for Halloween. It was for a video. I lost a bet,” I cheerfully explained to her. I was even happier that I lost that stupid bet now. Best. Loss. Ever.

“Oh, I see! Whoever did it, did a wonderful job. It's perfect,” she praised. “You look just like Tanya with a much sharper chin and short hair.”

“Yes, she did very well. I think I look like a manly Tanya, too.”

“Who is she?” She asked instantly.

“Oh, her name is Bella.”

My grandmother wasn’t going to give me a second to breathe. “Have I seen her before?”

“She was on the video with me at the jump,” I confirmed quickly.

“Oh! The photographer! Does she work for you?” Nana asked with interest. I chuckled to myself.

“No, she doesn't work for me. She's my girlfriend, actually.”

She actually gasped. “Anthony, darling! That’s so lovely! How very sweet! And she’s a photographer?”

“Yes, and a photographer, too. Amazingly, she can do both at the same time,” I joked.

“Well,” she laughed. “You of all people should understand my surprise, darling. You are a handful. Always have been! How does she have the time?”

I laughed again. “Yes, I do realize handling me is a full-time job.”

“It is! Oh, I miss you so much, my lovely darling. Can we talk using the video? I want to see your face.”

“Okay… Hold on a sec.” I pulled my mobile away from my face. “My Nana would like to Facetime,” I explained to my girlfriend. I didn't want to surprise Bella with my grandmother's face.

“Go for it,” she replied as she dusted her eyes with red.

“There you are!” I said when my Nana popped up on the screen. I beamed at her.

“Oh, look at you!” She laughed. “Let me see your eyes. Close them. My, look at that!”

“I've never felt so sexy,” I quipped, and I heard Bella giggle from her seat.

“What time is it there, dear? Are you doing anything for the holiday?” Nana questioned curiously.

“It's almost five. We're going to a party at my mate's house. They're doing a potluck and passing out candy to the kiddies,” I gladly explained. I loved talking to her.

“Is your girlfriend there?” She asked with a hopeful face. I knew that it was coming. So, I lowered the phone to include Bella’s in the frame. She already looked incredible in her own makeup.

“Hello,” she started in a bright voice, her accent thick. “Nice to meet you. I'm putting on costume makeup right now. I normally look more... normal,” she explained.

“Are you going to be a devil?”

“Yes, ma'am,” she nodded. She had simply looked through Target until she got an idea. Bella had liked the dress, so she would wear it again later. She just bought the horns to go with it. “In a blue dress.”

“It's lovely, dear! So bold and excitingly colored. What's your name again?” Nana asked as she leaned way too far into the shot so that all we could see was her big green eyes. Green eyes ran on both sides of the family.

“Bella Swan, ma'am.”

“Too close, Nana,” I finally told her when she never backed up. She was still trying to get a good look at my new girlfriend. She was going to tell my grandfather everything, and then call my sisters to find out what they knew about her. And then probably call my other grandmother to talk about it too. Everyone was going to know now. And I was okay with that.

“I'm Elizabeth Everson, Edward's maternal grandmother. How long have you two been together?” She asked right away.

“Just mid-October, Nana. Let's let her finish,” I suggested as I pulled the phone away. She could torture me with questions later. I decided to distract her. “How's Grandpa George?” I asked as I went into the bedroom to have a seat on the bed.

“As wicked as ever. You know him.”

“Of course. I miss him. How's Ireland? Having fun on the Emerald Isle?”

“I love it here! You’d love it, too. I do hope that you’ll come to visit me soon. You can bring your new girlfriend along. She’s very lovely,” she whispered.

“She’s not in here to hear you, Nana,” I said laughingly. “But she’s beyond lovely. Maybe one day. No promises. I do hope that she comes along for a visit, too. You’ll just love her.”

“I’m sure, darling.”

Bella came out of the bathroom with a big grin, her makeup was an amazingly fearsome red. The dress was tiny, clinging to her curvy body. Her red heels made her legs look phenomenal.

“Look! I didn't realize it did it,” she declared with great pleasure as she ran a hand over her stomach. As she did, it left a bloody trail of shiny red sequins.

“How perfect!” I laughed and showed my grandmother. Bella grinned as she showed off then quickly smoothed the sequins back into place. “Ten out of ten. Perfect costume, love.”

“Very good, dear,” she joyfully agreed. Nana really did like it. I could tell by her voice. I smiled to myself.

“Okay, Nana, she has to take my face off, so I can put my costume on. I'll talk to you later. I love you. Tell Grandpa George hello,” I told her when I realized the time.

“I love you, too, my angel. Have a good time. Be careful,” she reminded me softly before the call ended. I felt lighter talking to her. My grandmother was always around when I was a child, and I missed her. Both of my grandmothers were very good to me. We spent a month with each of them, and then they would spend at least a month with us every year growing up.

Bella removed my makeup, scrubbing my skin clean and pulling off the obnoxious eyelashes. I loved it when she touched me. It was so soothing, the few minutes of quiet. When she was done, I went to my closet to get changed into my own costume.

I had been thinking about what I wanted to wear to the party since Tyler had asked us. I loved costumes and had a whole closet full of them. Maybe I could have been something stupid or funny, but I decided that I wanted to actually look good for Bella. She was wearing a sexy little cocktail dress after all. So, I decided to go as the classic James Bond.

“I'm almost ready,” I informed her when I came back into the bedroom, where she was putting things into her tiny little purse beside her camera bag. She turned around to look at me, and her eyes got wide as her lips parted slightly. Her eyes raked over me hotly, settling finally on my face.

My little girlfriend was checking me out hard, and she thought I looked good. I thought my ego was going to pop right then and there.

“Mm… I'm-” she drew out, blinking several times before smiling in embarrassment, “Me too. I'm ready.”

I had actually made her flushed and flustered. Holy shit.

Clearing my throat, I considered just bending her over the bed despite the hours of fucking not long before. “So, I don’t suppose you’d be willing to fill in my eyebrows again? Maybe give me some Sean Connery brows?”

She laughed. “Yeah. Sure. Go sit by the mirror so that I can actually reach them.”

When I turned, I could actually feel her eyes on my ass.

Pop.

I sat in the chair by the vanity, and Bella came to stand in front of me. Whenever she would stop what she was doing and catch my gaze, I would make a face to make her giggle. I kept leaning forward to kiss her stomach, enjoying the sensation of just being so close to her. Every moment of the day, so far, had been beyond perfect. I don’t think that I could have been any happier.