Perfect Snapshots: Episode Seven: Relax

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Episode Seven: Relax

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Jasper sent a message when he got off work, asking how my day went. Instead of answering, I called him. I was sitting with my feet in the refreshing pool water, laying back as I smoked.  

“So, here’s my problem,” I began talking right away. “Bella cooked for me tonight.”

“And it was terrible?”

“No, it was goddamn perfect is what it was. Best meal I’ve ever had made for me. In my own home. Just because I asked her to.”

Jasper sighed, “so, what’s the problem?”

"She's always going to view this as a work thing. We shared a bottle of wine, and when I pointed it out, she got flustered. I think I embarrassed her. And I accidentally brought up all this really sad shit." 

“Like what?”

“How her mom died. Oh, darling, it’s the fucking worst. The girl was in the car. Her mother overdosed while driving with her. She’s got a little thin Joker style kind of scar to one side. It’s really faint. A fucking sign went through her face. And she just kind shows me like it’s nothing. And we talked about her late husband. He was a doctor. A professor of goddamn anthropology. Swan is his maiden name, apparently. Her husband’s name was Zucker.”

“That means sugar in German,” my friend commented offhandedly.

“I know. I bet she does, too. But Anyway, the way she talks about the things she cares about is so passionate. I could listen to her for days! I want her to tell me everything about her life.”

“I’ve never heard you talk this way about anyone before.”

"I know. This is insanity. I know. I just… Agh…" I moaned. "How do I do this? How do I respect her and her job and still tell her how I feel? Seriously though. My sisters always used to complain about men that hit on girls at work. What if I'm doing that? What if she's just being nice to me? What if this is just normal human interaction, but I'm so bad at it that I have no fucking idea what I'm doing?" 

“Darling. Breathe.”

"Argh," I said again, dryly, then taking a deep breath. 

“She cooked for you.”

“I asked. What if she felt like she couldn’t say no?”

“Tony. Please. I know how you worded it. I mean, if you wanna. You don’t have to. It’s totally up to you. Whatever you want. Please walk all over me.”

“I would let her walk on me. It would probably feel good. Like one of those weird Japanese massages where they walk on your back,” I continued to deadpan. 

He snorted. “Barefoot, for sure.”

“Oh, god. Yes. No shoes. Just knee socks. And nothing else,” I hummed, taking another hit. He laughed again, the reaction I wanted. “Fuck, I’ve been around you too long. That wasn’t very respectful.”

“Yeah, you want to be really respectful,” he drew out respectful in a funny sort of way. It was his fucking-with-you voice, also known as the I-think-I’m-funny voice.  

"Honestly, I'd worship this girl if she gave me a chance. I feel like everything she's ever had handed to her is so sad, and she's too delicate and sweet for that. I want to give her everything. I want to protect her and just…" I trailed off, babbling.  

"Aw," he said softly. "Worship is a strong word, though." 

“It’s the truth.”

“So, what you’re saying is that you want to spend a lot of time on your knees in front of this woman,” he teased with a little laugh. 

“You know what, you think you’re fucking funny-”

“I am, bitch.”

“Psh,” I bemoaned. “You’re kind of an asshole. I was being sincere.”

“So was I. You’re just horny.”

“Have you ever known me to be just horny?” I asked seriously.

“I haven’t known you to be this single in a while. So… “

“Bah,” I complained. 

“I’m not blaming you. I just think you need to calm your fucking tits, you overdramatic cunt. You should relax. Tomorrow don’t you have to go to a party?”

“I have two parties this week, actually. Yay,” I said deadpanned.

“Drink. Mingle. Have fun. Talk to people. You’re very good at pretending like you enjoy talking to other people. Go do that. Yes, Bella is very nice. I like her too just from her videos. But, as you said, she’s leaving soon. So, none of this matters. Flirt. Relax. The worst she can do is say she’s not interested, which, she fucking is, pussy,” he breathed the last word. I grunted in response. “You know I’m right. You need to get out more. This wouldn’t seem so dramatic then.”

“No,” I replied. “I get out plenty.”

“For work.”

“So?”

“It’s not the same. We miss you desperately, Tony, but you need to make new friends. You need to get laid. If it’s this Bella, then good. If not, well too bad for her. I’ve seen your dick. It is appropriately proportioned to your body.” It was his turn to be dry and sarcastic. 

I laughed loudly. “Aw, thanks, mate. Really. I love you, too.”

"On that note, go the fuck to bed. I need to eat, and you need to try to sleep." 

"Yeah, I do. I do miss you, and love you. Even if you're perverted and weird." 

“It’s because I am, probably.”

“No,” I said and then hung up on him with a smirk. 

He sent a text message. "Btw, I'm not that big of a whore. Stop shaming me to make yourself look better in front of your crush. You're just jealous that I can talk to people. Wanker." 

I sent him a gif that said ‘boo, whore.'  

I finished my smoke and went to bed. It took forever to fall asleep. When I did, I dreamed about faceless women in my bed, kissing me and touching me. I wasn’t particularly enjoying it in the dream. It was almost as if I was just observing it. 

After showering, I went into the living room to find Bella. She smiled when she saw me, putting on the kettle for coffee.  

This morning she was wearing a pretty black silkie shirt that draped over her shoulders and swooped along her collarbone. Her curly hair was pulled up in a ponytail, showing off the gentle slope of her neck. As I came closer, I realized that she was cooking again. Her computer was on the island, and it was opened to the editing program. Dozens of pictures on the screen were of me.     

 “Would you like some breakfast?” She offered me with a sweet smile on her lips. 

“Yes, please,” I answered. It was hard to look away from her work. I looked so happy in all of the pictures. I wondered if she saw me this way. They were probably the best pictures I had ever had taken of me. At least the ones I liked the most.

"If you want to see more, you can scroll there. Or, you can go to the side here and look at the different days." Bella leaned over the bar, pointing out the different features.   

“Thanks.”

“What would you like to eat?” She asked as she went back to whatever she was doing before I came in. 

“Whatever you're making,” I replied with a yawn. Slowly scrolling through, I looked at just a few of the thousands of pictures she had already taken. 

“I'm making myself a vegetarian omelet with sauteed shallots, mushrooms, tomatoes, and spinach. With fried potatoes and toast with butter,” she explained casually. It sounded delicious. All it needed was some meat. 

“That sounds amazing. Do we have any of that chicken from last night, leftover?”

She smiled at me again. “Yup, I can add that if you like.”

Her smiles were so easy. I wondered if it was just her or if it was an American thing. Looking at the pictures, I couldn't help but be reminded that this was a job again. But I didn't want to think about that. I wanted to believe that the lovely woman in the kitchen was there because she wanted to be with me.   

“That sounds so good. Thank you. Do I... do I need to help in some way? Is there something I can do?”

“Could you wash that skillet for me in the sink?” She asked. 

I hadn’t watched her the day before while she had cooked. It was like she was dancing around the room, her movements quick and graceful. Everything she did was perfectly timed. Bella would hum to herself a little as she worked, occasionally asking me questions or to hand her stuff.  

“Let's eat by the pool,”  I said once the food was done since it was such a beautiful day. She instantly agreed. 

Her breakfasts were as good as her dinners. It was so much more delicious than I expected, and I expected it to be excellent.  

As much as I enjoyed doing my charity work, I hated going from the wonderfully peaceful morning to the chaos of the gaming event put on for the release of Red Ops 3. I couldn’t let it show, though. I smiled for every picture and talked to anyone who wished to speak to me. I enjoyed talking to the children the most. They were always so eager and excited about everything. 

And throughout the whole thing, Bella quietly followed behind, taking pictures as I worked through the crowd with my mask firmly in place. Sometimes when she looked at me, it felt as if she was looking right through it.  

I personally had never heard of the guy who was playing with me for the day in the match. I knew his father, though. He was a legendary actor and director. I didn’t know what his son had accomplished, besides being attractive, in Hollywood. Apparently, he was on some television show that I had never watched.  

“Scott and I are super excited to compete for our charities today! So, my man, who are you playing for this afternoon?” I started in front of the cameras for the stuff for the channel. Bella was kneeling in front of us, taking pictures the whole time. 

“Heifers United, which is a fantastic organization that brings animals to impoverished areas to help give people not only a source of food but pride,” he replied in a thickened southern accent that was different from Bella’s.

"That is so awesome! And I am playing for the Toys for Tots program, which helps give toys to kids at Christmas which is coming up very soon. Three of my favorite things are kids, toys, and Christmas. Insert a picture of last Christmas with all my adorable nieces here," I chuckled as I remembered the happy memory. "So, whatever I win, I will also match! But fear not, I will donate at a minimum of ten thousand dollars no matter happens!" 

“Sounds like a great idea. I'll do the same.”

“Even if we get that twenty-five thousand dollars first place?” I asked with a big smile. There was no way we were going to win. I was okay, not great, at the game. “I mean, obviously we're going to win. You've been practicing, right?”

“Right!” He grinned. I would have been surprised if he had even picked up a controller before. 

"Then let's go win some cows and toys!" I shouted. "Oi, that sounded better in my head." 

I heard Bella giggle from her kneeling position on the floor, a smile just hidden behind her camera. I winked at her, returning her smile. 

“And cut,” I mumbled before shaking Scott’s hand. “Thanks so much. That was perfect. I'm excited to play with you.”

“Same.”

I had played in these things a few times before. It was always harder to play when there are so many people around you. But I had never played with Bella standing less than a few inches from me. She was so close that her lovely scent overwhelmed my nose. Just like at the recording studio, I wanted to do my best for her.  

Scott had obviously not played the game very much though. We did fine in the first practice round, but in the second we died very quickly. It was embarrassing as hell. Stupid curses flew my mouth like a pouty child who just lost to their sibling. Half the time, I didn't even realize that I was doing it.  

When we got a little break before the real match, I watched Bella talk to Seth and Tyler. She was laughing and smiling with them so easily too. I wanted to think that she liked me, but I wasn't sure. Maybe she was just a pleasant woman. Then I remembered Jasper's words from the night before. Relax. Have fun. 

Once again, Bella was so close I could smell her. The salt of her sweat mixed with the sugary scent of her perfume and shampoo.  

I could have fun and try to show off at the same time, I figured. I wasn’t sure it was possible for me to relax.

My partner was more than useless. He died halfway through the game after drawing attention to us from two different teams. That didn't seem to matter, though, because I was on a roll. I killed a dozen people easily and somehow came in third. I had no idea how, but I did. I don't think Scott was expecting us to do so well. I hoped he kept up his end and donated whatever money he was going to. If not, I would give his part as well.  

“Well, it was hard. I played not that well. But in the end, it looks like we're going to be able to give away lots of heifers and a whole lot of toys today,” I spouted happily at the camera for Seth as he filmed.  “I'll link both charities in the box down below if you want to donate and let's make this world a little better together. Thanks! Buh-bye!”

The game was the best part of the event. I always found the after parties so boring. They were all the same. I didn't want to get drunk and chat with people I didn't know. Of course, it was required by contract, and I was going to get paid a lot of money to be there. So, I had to suck it up. Not the drunk part, just the being there part. Drinking is what I felt I needed to get through it.  

I went to the bar to get myself a drink or two alone just to have a few minutes to myself. I got a quick shot of whiskey, which I threw back before ordering a beer. I also got bottles of water for Seth, Tyler, and Bella. It was so hot in there, and it had been such a long day already.  

I didn't stop at one beer, though. I had a few, an occasional shot mixed in there as well whenever I would go get another. It was a terrible idea because our breakfast was all gone, and it was making me tipsy. But, I needed something to get through having the same conversations over and over again. Movies, television, scripts, weather. Why yes, I'll take a look at your project. Send it to my manager. I'll consider reading for the part. Oh, I did hear about the rain, but I won't believe it until I see it…  

All I could think about was Bella. She looked as bored as I felt. The guys knew how I felt about these things. They were bored too, but they were getting paid, so they didn't care.  

I was starting to think seriously about leaving when a pretty young woman walked up to me. She was very tall, close to my height with her impressive heels. Her long blonde hair went down her back, her blue eyes slightly glazed over from drinking as well.

“Hi, I've seen you on YouTube before,” she began in a high pitched voice that I didn’t feel was fitting to her body. I wondered if she was putting it on for me. I can put my mask on for you too, I thought drunkenly. Flirt, relax, have fun. I can do this.  

“Yes, I've been known to be seen there,” I grinned at her. 

“I'm Tabby.” She offered me her hand. Gently, I shook it before quickly releasing it. 
“Nice to meet you, Ms. Tabby. Do you play the game?”

“No. But I saw that you came in third! That's really cool. You're, like, really good,” she gushed. I felt myself flush a little bit, far too proud of my achievement. 

“Thank you, my dear! That is very kind of you to say,” I said in my father’s accent. She giggled, leaning more into me. 

“And you're jumping out of a plane tomorrow, right? I think that's what the announcer said anyway. That's so sexy! You're into, like, action adventure,” she continued, fluffing my ego further and further. I hated how much I liked it right then. I needed the confidence it gave me.   

“Yeah, I kind of am... into action... and adventure, I mean,” I joked stupidly, flirting back with her. 

“Do you have a girlfriend?” 

Well, that went from zero to one hundred very quickly. 
"Uh, no. I broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago, right before I moved to the US actually. She didn't want to come with me," I told her honestly with a pout.  

“That’s a shame. I don’t have a boyfriend either,” she replied. 

“I’m sure whoever wins your affection will be a very lucky man,” I told her pleasantly. 

“That could be you,” she whispered in my ear before slipping something into my pocket. I didn’t have to look to know she had given me her phone number. “If you ditch your camera crew, we can have a little adventure of our own right now.”

“Ah,” I laughed nervously, backing away from her just a couple of steps. “That’s a very… interesting… offer, but I must decline. I have to work, and I have a good friend staying at my home." When I looked over, I realized that Bella was no longer standing beside Seth and Tyler and instantly began to panic. "Hey, where's Bella?" 

Seth looked around the room, looking for her. “She went to take pictures, I think. I saw her around here a minute ago.” I could tell by the look on his face he wasn’t having fun here either and was ready to go. Tyler was keeping himself busy with his phone. 

"Um, can you excuse us, Tabby?" I said, still looking around. Bella being alone made me nervous for some stupid reason. There were so many terrible people in Hollywood. I glanced over at the blonde. "I'm sorry I have to get back to work now." 

“Call me,” she said, still just as determined as before, winking at me. 

“You could do so much better,” Tyler mumbled under his breath, not looking up from his phone as he did when she walked away. 

“I was just being polite,” I whispered so she couldn’t hear it.

“Yeah. Right. She shoved her hand in your pocket very politely,” Seth joked. 

“Shut up,” I muttered. “Oh, shit. Did Bella see her do that?”

Seth and Tyler looked at each other. Tyler rolled his eyes and shook his head, Seth grinned at me. 

"I don't think so," he continued to smirk as he spoke. "Why would it matter, though?" 

“It… just… Wasn’t very unprofessional. I shouldn’t have let her do that,” I babbled, still eyeing the room. 

"How professional is it to get hammered?" Tyler teased with a small smirk. The pretty girl wasn't around, so they were going to torture me freely.  

“I’m not. I’m just… tipsy. Shut up,” I repeated. “Let’s go find Bella so we can go. I’m ready to get out of here.” 

It took me a few moments to find the sweet photographer. She was standing in front of a large window that overlooked the stadium where we had played. It was completely dark now, but the city was shining beautifully behind it. She clicked several pictures, a small frown on her lovely face.  

“Hey!” I called to her. “I was worried I had lost you.”

“Sorry,” Bella answered dejectedly as she took another shot. 

“You alright?”

“Yes, just tired and hungry. It's been a long day,” she answered as she put away her camera. Her voice was actually emotionless and quiet. I hadn’t heard her like that before.  

“Yeah, we can head out now. We did our time. I'll text Seth and Tyler. They're looking for you, too,” I told her as I frowned to myself, pulling my phone out to tell my friends where we were. 

“You could have texted me.”

As soon as she said it, I felt stupid. Of course. I could have just texted her like a normal person instead of running around like a nervous chicken with its head cut off.  

“I guess you're right. I didn't think about it. I'm tired, too,” I admitted. I shook it away. “What kind of dinner would you like?”

“Your choice.”

“I'm asking you.” I just wanted her to talk to me as she had the day before. Happy and open. She seemed so annoyed and closed off.

"You should ask Seth and Tyler," she snapped. Her face turned a little red, and she quickly looked away, her arms wrapped around her chest.  

“Okay,” I cleared my throat, sad.

Bella changed her stance a little, glancing over at me. “So, did she give you her number? She was very pretty. And tall. Christ, so tall.”

"She was, and she did," I replied. I took the napkin that the girl had shoved in my pocket, and without looking at what was on it, began to tear it apart. I wanted to show Bella precisely what it meant to me. It was nothing. It was barely a conversation. I threw it into the rubbish bin right where it belonged.  

She seemed surprised. “Why would you do that?”

"Because I'm not really interested in her, but I felt like I needed to be polite and take it. So many girls here in Hollywood are so forward, and they're obviously not in it for a relationship, if you know what I mean. It's kind of disheartening," I answered, hoping to give her some little piece of my real self. I wanted her to know that wasn't me. I wasn't the type of person who just wanted to root around with some random plastic person. I meant what I said the day before.  

“She could have been a model,” she said as if it mattered in the least. “And you don't know. Maybe it’s not money. She could have been in it just to have sex with a hot celebrity.” 

“Yeah, no thanks. Pretty isn't worth it,” I told her quietly. I wasn’t looking for pretty. I was looking for breathtaking, like Bella. “Here, let me carry your bag for you. I know that has to be heavy after such a long day.” I took her things from her quickly, putting it over my shoulder. Bella looked surprised, blushing again. 

The silence between us was horribly awkward. I was so grateful when the guys showed up. 

“Come on, let's go get food. One of you decide what to eat.” I said, ready to escape the situation. 

Seth and Tyler bickered like children over which chicken place was the best while we walked to the car. I walked in silent stride with Bella. She was chewing on her thumb, her eyes downcast as she focused on walking. 

I opened the back door for her. Her eyes caught mine for a moment, and once again, her cheeks flamed red hot. She slipped in, her eyes averted from me the whole time.  

I kicked myself mentally the entire way home. I tried to pretend that I was fine as we ate, but Bella was noticeably quiet at the table. She quickly ate a little before she breathed out that she was heading to bed. 

“So,” Tyler drew out as we watched her walk to my guest bedroom. He picked at his fried chicken. “What exactly did you do to piss her off?”

“I don’t know,” I lied. I knew what happened and I think he did too. He glanced over at Seth again. 

“Are you going to talk to her?” Seth asked. 

“What would I say?” I asked them quietly, feeling so unsure of myself and confused. 

“I don’t know what drunken thing I did, but I’m sorry for offending you,” he joked. I scoffed, looking away from him. 

"When I asked if she was alright at the arena, she said she tired." 

“It was a long day. I imagine it has been a long week for her,” Tyler agreed. He looked wiped, too. “Maybe she is just tired.”

“Maybe,” I replied softly. 

“I’d check on her,” Seth said, stretching his arms above his head before he stood. “She’s a good kid. I like her. I kind of wish she didn’t have to go. Maybe we need a photographer for the channel.”

“Maybe,” I said again with a little laugh. It was certainly an idea. A dumb one. The last thing I wanted was a work relationship with her. 

"I'm going to the bathroom. I'm ready to head out whenever you are," he told Tyler who was still eating a chicken wing. He nodded and took another big bite. It was late, and I knew he wanted to get back home to his girlfriend.  

It took several minutes and a smoke to get my courage up to go knock on her door. I didn’t know exactly what I was going to say. 

“Come in,” she called softly from the other side of the door. 

When I opened it, Bella was standing beside her bed. Her hair was wet, and she was wearing a light gray striped nightgown, her feet and legs bare. Her eyes still looked so sad. It made me hate myself. 

“I wanted to check on you and make sure you're alright.”

“Yea, I'm fine,” she said quietly before a brief forced smile came to her lips. “I was just hangry and sore. Sorry.”

“Can I get you anything? Aspirin or something? Water?” Please tell me how to make this better. Let me fix this. 

Bella shook her head slowly. “No, I've already taken some actually. I'm fine, really. I'm just... homesick now.”

There was nothing I could do about that. I didn't want her to be homesick, but I didn't want her to leave either. 

"Alright, I just wanted to check. Let me know if there is anything I could do at all to make you happy or comfortable. I just... I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm awkward. I have anxiety and sometimes, I think-," I didn't know where my rambling mouth was taking me, but it didn't matter. "You know, nevermind. You're obviously going to bed. I'll let you sleep." 

"Okay... By the way, good job today," she called to me, these words and smile were a little warmer, but I could see the depression marked on her face.  

“It’s just a video game,” I replied. Just a stupid silly little video game. I felt so embarrassed, suddenly feeling exactly like I did when I was a teenager. How immature must Bella have thought I was? Everything she had gone through and I was playing video games as if it mattered.

"No, it was a lot of cows and toys," she said, even lighter. Bella smiled again, this one unforced. I returned it, wanting her to not be sad, even if it was just a minute of relief.  

“Yeah. Thanks... Goodnight,” I answered before leaving her room. Leaning against the wall, I took in a deep breath. 

With a sigh, I headed back out towards the pool. I knew I wasn’t going to sleep that night. 

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