Locke. Chapter Twenty-seven: Dallas Museum of Art

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Chapter Twenty-Seven: Dallas Museum of Art

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Several times in the night, Jasper groaned loudly in his fitful sleep. It was as if he was in pain. I would stroke his hair and kiss his cheeks until he relaxed back into a deeper slumber. He would softly sigh, squeezing me to him with his gently flexing fingers on my hip. 

 When I woke up, I had my head on his chest, and he was very gently playing with my hair. I wasn't sure what time it was. I was so comfortable that I didn't want to move. Keeping my eyes closed, I listened to his soothing heartbeat. He hummed with pleasure, the sensation vibrating against my cheek.  

“Good morning,” he cooed when I finally looked up at his handsome face. Jasper was openly watching me. I grinned bashfully and pressed my cheek against his pec, making him chuckle. “Oh yeah. I could get used to this.”

“Me too,” I agreed.

 He leaned down to kiss the top of my head. “What would you like to do today?”

I shrugged as I shifted up more to kiss him lightly, once, twice, and then again. Each became deeper and more intense. Sleepily, I straddled his waist so that I could take control over it. His big hands went to my hips, holding onto me tightly, as I brought mine to his cheeks.  

"We should go out if you're not ready to have sex yet," he breathlessly said against my lips. Jasper gently dragged his hands up from my hips to just under my breasts. I could feel how badly he wanted to keep going.  

"Hm, okay," I giggled teasingly as I moved to his neck, kissing there instead. "So, we can do brunch," I began, and he squirmed under my touch. "It is a Sunday, so that's perfect. Is there anything you need to do? Do you need to do your laundry?" I nipped at his ear, tugging on the earlobe.  

“Ah,” he laughed as he leaned his head back. “I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll send my suits out in the morning.” 

“If you want, you can do them at the apartment tomorrow.” I switched to the other side, licking along his jaw for just a second before biting it lightly. “We could do something fun. Something actually date-like. I haven’t in ages.”

Jasper slowly licked his lips, closing his eyes as he tilted his head further back to give me all the access that I wanted to his throat. I took advantage of it. “Um… okay, uh… We could go to the movies or the zoo. Or the aquarium,” he stuttered out. “Museum. Mall. Um, fuck…” He moaned when I suckled right at his Adam’s apple.  

"I do enjoy a good museum," I slyly stated against his ear. I nipped it again.   

"Art museum," he blurted out loudly. "We could go to the art museum." My teasing was getting to him, and I loved it. I relished having this power over him. This was the kind of control that I liked. His erection kept twitching between my thighs, proving to me how much sway I had over his body.  

“Oh, that would be fun,” I said as I sat up, rocking against him. “There are those three right there around that park. Just downtown. It’s probably not too far.” I bit the tip of my finger playfully for a moment, batting my eyelashes at him innocently. “Well, that’s what we can do this afternoon. What should we do tonight?”

He moaned and put his hands on my thighs. His fingers tightened around them, squeezing hard. “You’re so mean… and sexy…”

I ignored him. "We could go back to my place, and I could cook for you. And we can Netflix and actually chill." 

“That would be great. Yeah. Whatever you want to do, darlin,” he breathed. Jasper looked like he was about to explode. I knew that he remembered what happened last time we ‘chilled’ on my couch.  

I rocked against him once more very purposefully before I swung my leg over to get off of the bed. “I’m going to grab a quick shower and get changed.”

Jasper nodded, sort of pouting at his hard-on. “Sounds good. I’ll take one after you.” 

We decided on Benedict’s for breakfast. We both had coffee, sitting for a long time just chatting. It was just easy small talk. He kept feeding me bites of his fruit from our shared platter or of his steak and mushroom eggs benedict. It was delicious. I enjoyed sharing my blueberry stuffed french toast with him. 

When we got to the museum, he bought the tickets for the special exhibits before taking my hand. There weren't that many people around, and it felt surprisingly private. Sunlight streamed in through the big windows, lighting up the white interior. Everything felt so open and almost perfect in its cleanliness.  

“I feel like I need to get to know you again. I wish I could start all over because I did everything wrong,” he began. 

"You didn't do everything wrong," I giggled softly, anxiously. "Honestly, the only thing you didn't do was talk to me. Which I am angry about and though I’m still not totally over it yet, I will forgive you. And it won't take that long, I swear. Just as long as you promise not to do it again. If you are having feelings that you need to talk to me about, you should right away so that we can deal with them together," I monologued rather confidently. I wanted him to know my sentiments. I had never been dishonest with him before, and I wasn't going to start our new relationship by suppressing my needs for our future. I wasn't going to hide my expectations from him or sugarcoat them.  

He nodded his head, clearly listening to what I was saying. Gently, he squeezed my hand. “That is a totally fair and very reasonable demand,” he said as he brought it up to his mouth to lightly kiss.

“Just be open and honest, and I’ll give you all of me.”

“You should really demand more,” he replied.

I bit my lip, glancing over at him. “Well, it’s not all that I want. Those are just the main requirements.”

Jasper looked at me with pleading eyes. "Ask for anything, and I'll give it to you." 

Humming quietly, I drew away from him for a moment. “I want your love and kindness. And your tenderness, and loyalty.”

“You’ll have them,” he readily promised. 

I smirked a little to myself, taking a few steps ahead of him to the next level. “I know,” I indicated nonchalantly.  

We stopped in front of the big golden Buddha with its palms raised up in prayer in front of a glass-enclosed garden. Beside it was a breathtaking silver shrine from India. He didn't look at me as he spoke abruptly, "I've never had these sorts of feelings before, and I didn't honestly know how to handle them." 

I wanted to ask him so many questions. We were going to be talking about this for ages, I knew. I decided I wanted to test his willingness to be open. “You said you knew the night Edward came…?”
 
He nodded his head thoughtfully, licking the corner of his bottom lip. “When you ran out of the room like that. I instantly panicked. And all I could think was, ‘I can’t let the woman that I love run away like-’” Jasper stopped and smirked a little at himself. “Which is part of the reason why I felt the need to drink that night. I was so terrified that I was going to lose you, right when I figured it out and before I knew what to do with it.”

“Why did you think you’d lose me?”

He played with the ends of his jacket sleeve. “Either because you got freaked out or because you finally had an actual shot with a man you want.”

“I want you,” I whispered. 

Jasper smiled just a little. “I can see that now. But sitting there that night, I just knew when you calmed down that you’d at least consider it.”

“I never did.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“I don’t think that I knew the full extent of my feelings until I was sitting at the table last night. I realized that I cared for you more than I have ever cared about another person. But I couldn’t say the words to myself because it hurt too much.”

“I’m sorry,” Jasper breathed. 

I decided to continue to share my thoughts. "I didn't think that you wanted me for anything other than sex, and at the beginning, I was really okay with that. I was just so excited that someone as handsome as you wanted to give me any attention at all. And god, the sex," I sighed at the very thought of how good it was. "It was worth anything I had to go through. I didn't know it was possible to find someone who just-" I stopped, laughing as I considered the way to word it in public. There was someone way off in a far corner. "That ticked all the right boxes."  

We continued walking to the Hindu Statue section, where we were all alone. He put his hand on my lower back, leaning his lips close to my ear. "I feel the same." 

"You are the kind of man that I write about," I told him in a whisper, my face turning bright red as I admitted it out loud. "If I were to fantasize about the perfect person for me, I'm not sure that I could come up with a better representation. I felt like, as a lover, I could openly express all of my desires to you without fear of judgment. It was so freeing." 

He kissed me soundly. “You can. I promise. I want to know everything. Sex or not.”

“So do I,” I promise, pulling him along. “Can I ask you something?” I inquired as we moved into a section that housed the Van Gogh. It looked as if it was just at someone’s home, hung under a set of Spanish style iron stairs. It was as if they were transported from a person’s house. It was so different from the rest of the museum.

“Anything.”

“What got you into BDSM?” I pressed inquisitively. “I mean, did you just always like hitting people or…?”

Jasper laughed, pausing to let another couple walk past us. "I was always a rowdy child, and I loved to wrestle. I did karate and football, too. And I liked being as rough as I could get away with. I had so much energy that I was just hard to control. So I got sent to military school when I was thirteen. I wasn't bad. I just probably needed a low dose of Ritalin, but I had old school parents. I figured out pretty early that I liked lording over those younger or smaller than me. I loved having control. Then when I joined the actual military, I didn't get exactly bumped down to the bottom since I was an officer, but I was still low on the totem pole. And I had this CO that was just a tough bitch-" 

“Oh,” I said in a teasing way, smiling up at him. “Let me guess. The older lady was into it?”

He nodded. "She wasn't that much older, really. Like five years. But she was into really violent sex. The first time that we fucked, it was the roughest, angriest sex that I've ever had. We were at a party for a mutual friend, and we were both drunk. We ended up alone somehow, and I ripped into her for being a hard ass to me. Just screamed in her face, called her every name I could think of, and almost slapped her. But then she kissed me. Begged me to fuck her right there in our friend's basement. And it was amazing. I had never felt more powerful than when I threw her down on those stairs, knowing someone could come in at any moment. Every time after that was dirtier than the last. I didn't understand limits then, but I certainly found a lot of my own. She wanted to go a lot farther than I was willing." 

“I’ve never found someone who was really willing to go further than I was prepared to try,” I admitted. “I mean, I’d probably try anything just about once with the right person. With a few exceptions.”

Jasper smiled a bit. “I hope that I can be that right person.”

“Me too.” 

His grin grew, taking my hand again. "What about you?" He asked in curiosity. "What got you into it?" 

I laughed awkwardly. "Well… Um…" I hummed as I thought about how to explain it to him. "I was always more of the parent with my mom, so when I had to live with Charlie, my dad, I was a total brat at the beginning. I didn't really know him. We didn't talk a lot. He was just this big, scary, authoritative stranger that I was forced to spend a week or two with a year." 

“And I take it that didn’t go well for you.”

Shaking my head, I glanced over at him shyly. "The first couple of weeks, he ignored it, but I mouthed off to him constantly. I was angry at everything and everyone. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore, and he spanked me. With a belt. I was sixteen. Probably only a month after I got there. I was too old for it, but I'm not sure he knew how else to deal with me. That's probably how his parents punished him, and he never had to before. Why bother when you're only going to deal with them once a year?" 

“So he was old school, too.” 

“Yeah, And,” I stopped, flushing crimson as I got more and more embarrassed. “I was horrified. Because I knew that wasn’t supposed to be how I reacted. I was supposed to be in pain, in tears. Maybe scared. But I wasn’t at all. I remember that I couldn’t move because I felt like he would know and be as disgusted with me as I was with myself. I didn’t want to feel those things because of my sperm donor.”

He rubbed my back gently. “That’s got to be awkward.” 

 "Oh, god. So fucking awkward. I made sure to never do anything remotely naughty again, so he never felt the need to," I laughed, looking down at my feet. "So, I guess that it was super effective as a form of punishment." 

“Sounds like it. You know, you’re not the first girl to tell me a story like that,” he said softly, rubbing my back again.  

“I know, but it’s embarrassing still. It’s pretty much Alice’s story, too. She was younger, though. It’s just that no one had ever struck me before and it was... instant. Anyway, my early writings got very focused after that.”

He took a step behind me, putting an arm around my waist. “What did you write about?” He asked smoothly in my ear. His voice was warm and sexy.

"Rude little girls who needed to be punished. It was always older male figures. Cops, teachers. The standard tropes. They were always caught doing something red-handed, and they needed to be taught lessons about respect. You've read some of them." 

Letting out a slow breath, he kissed the back of my earlobe. “How old were you when did your first scene?”

"I was almost out of college. I had my first vanilla boyfriend, and we did the conventional experimenting. Blindfolds, tying up, gentle spanking. But he was too scared to even try anal on me," I laughed at the cringeworthy memories. "But after we broke up, I decided I wanted to go further. So I got online and found some random guy. It wasn't that interesting of a scene, but it was an awakening. After that, I tried to have every experience that I could for years. Once my dad got sick though, I didn't really have time." 

"You haven't been with anyone for a while before we met?" He asked next. I shook my head. "Not since he died." I nodded, and he matched the action, obviously thinking to himself.  

“Yeah, I know. I have Daddy issues. I’m aware,” I smirked. “It just got to the point where it felt all meaningless because at first, it was always exciting, but the more I did it, the more I realized that most experiences are disappointing. I pretty much survived on Alice’s stories. Her perfect nights with her FBI guy.” 

“Does it bother you that I was with your friend before?”

“She’s your friend too,” I smiled. “You’ve known each other for years. No. I don’t mind. If I did, I wouldn’t have messaged you in the first place. You’re not the first man that we’ve both had sex with.”

He cleared his throat, his cheeks heating. “I know.” 

I tilted my head back to look at him. "I still think we should play with Alice together. Not soon, but someday. She wants to, and it would be a good way to start experimenting with others if you still want to."  

"Wow, my girlfriend of fewer than twenty-four hours is already suggesting threesomes. Why was I ever afraid of commitment?" He teased in my ear, leaning down to kiss it gently. I giggled, tipping my head back against his shoulder. "Yeah, not soon. We need to figure out how to do this thing first before we throw another person in the mix." 

"Mmhmm," I agreed, looking up at him as he hugged me from behind. "So, when was the last time you were with someone else? You know my history. I want to know more about yours." 

"About a month before I started talking to you. It was a friend I have that I met online. I just happened to be in Detroit, so we decided to play. It was fun. There was no extra spark like there is with us. As soon as we started talking, though, I gave you my full attention." 

“I miss when we used to chat every night,” I breathed.

“Me too.” He kissed my cheek several times. “I have to admit something. I’ve been kind of obsessed with you for years before we even spoke. When I told you that I’ve read all of your work, it was more than that.”

I turned to look at him. “Oh?”  

Jasper lowered his eyes as he blushed a little. "I started reading your stories a couple of years ago, and I quickly became fixated on them. Alice recommended your Marie Bell stuff because she does to everyone," he said, making us both smile, "and I read all of them in a very short amount of time. Maybe a month. Like eight novels and countless short stories. I barely slept. And as much as I adored the sex, I loved the plotlines. They were always unexpected and well written. I asked her if she had any other works by you because I needed more. And I've devoured everything. Even your sweet young adult books. Your imagination thrilled me. You could be so charming and innocent in one and uninhibited and adventurous in the next." His voice got lower, deeper, "and then I realized your imagination was housed inside this body." He ran his hand down my ribs. "I couldn't believe how lucky I was when you sent me that friend request. I knew you were in the scene, but I never imagined Alice would actually get you to text me. I never told her about my crush. I was so excited that I messaged you as soon as I saw it. And when we started talking, it felt like everything just clicked." 

I put my fingers on the back of his neck and brought him down to kiss me. His hands instantly went to my hips, pulling me to him. We kissed for a long time in front of a set of marble statues. Someone came into the room, so we slowly pulled apart. He was saying all the right things.  

“So, next question.” I took his hand and began to pull him along to the neighboring exhibit. “What would you like me to cook for dinner, Dr. Charming?”

“Special Agent,” he added cheekily. 

“Okay. Special Agent, Dr. Charming, what do you wanna eat?” I grinned wickedly. 

“Is this a trick question?” He teased right back. Playfully, Jasper winked at me, bringing our joined hands up to his mouth to kiss my knuckles. “Whatever you want, darlin. Today is all yours.”

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