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Jasper is a Doctor of behavioral psychology that works as a special agent for the NCAVC branch of the FBI. Bella is a self-published author who dabbles in every genre from children's fairy-tales to murder mysteries to adult erotic fiction. They're two very different people living two very different lives with surprisingly a lot in common... especially in the bedroom.

Sometimes, the reality is better than fiction but maybe not all adventures are what we expect them to be. Will they be more than just the key to fulfilling each other’s fantasies? 

Intended for adult audiences only. 18+


Warning: This story contains Graphic sexual content,  themes of bdsm, and violence. Reader discretion is Advised. 




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10/31/2019

Locke. Chapter Thirty: The Distance Between us

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Chapter Thirty: The Distance between us


Christmas eve could not come fast enough. 

I kept myself busy with gift shopping, writing, and looking through old stories about murders in New York State. It was oddly soothing, the research. I was good at it, I felt, but I was sure that I wasn’t learning anything that the FBI didn’t already know. I just enjoyed knowing more about it so that I could talk to Jasper about the case. 

Every day he called at least once, and our text conversations were constant. He would be coming in the evening of the twenty-third and leave the morning of the twenty-eighth, giving us four days together. I was looking forward to it with every fiber of my being. 

Edward was lounging on the couch, watching television, as he waited for Tanya to finish packing that night. They were going on a trip with his family over the holidays and wouldn’t be coming back until a few days after New Year's Day. It was somewhere tropical and beautiful. Understandably, she was thrilled. She was rushing around the house, waiting until the last minute to get ready. Her boyfriend knew better than to get in the way. The woman did it literally every time, and if he tried to help, they always fought. 

My room, the bathroom, living room, and kitchen were all cleaned to perfection. I had spent the afternoon getting ready for him. I just wore a sweater and blue jeans, trying to be casual, even though I was attempting to look as pretty as possible. It was a weird balance. We were just going to stay in and order dinner since he was going to be so tired from work and traveling. He didn’t want me to cook because he wanted us to both relax together. We were going to spend the following day out, having another real date. He was planning it and being rather cagey about its details.

We hadn’t discussed what we were going to do for Christmas again. I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I could be alone for a few hours, go with Alice, or to Jasper’s. As long as I got to spend at least a few hours with my boyfriend at some point in the day, I would be happy. 

When I heard the knock, I rushed out of my room and towards the door before Edward could fully sit up. When he realized that I was going to get it, he settled back into his spot with a slight smirk as he put his arm behind his head. He was watching a superhero movie on television, the remote on his thigh. 

After the door swung open, I practically leaped into his arms. Jasper lifted me off the ground so that only my tiptoes were on the floor. His lips were on mine in an instant, his fingers gripping me tightly. I smiled against his mouth as he tilted me back just a little.

Jasper had come directly from the airport, still in his suit. I could feel his gun underneath his long wool coat and blazer. His leather-clad hands rubbed just under my shirt at my waist. The sensation was fantastic. 

“I missed you,” he whispered after burying his face in my neck. His five o’clock shadow was rough against my skin. “God, you always smell so good.” 

“Thank you,” I giggled, stroking his hair at the back of his head gently. Slowly Jasper pulled back to look at me while smiling. He brought his lips to mine again with his fingers on my cheeks as he kissed me deeply. With his other arm around my waist, he lifted me a couple of inches off the ground. I cheerfully laughed against his mouth. “I missed you, too.” 

Eventually, he put me back down to my feet. When he pulled back again to look at me, he took both of my hands into his and lifted them up to examine me. Jasper grinned at whatever he saw, bringing each to his lips to kiss my knuckles. 

“Mm-mm-mm… You look lovely, darlin,” he complimented me, bringing my arms back around his neck. Jasper put his hands on my hips, his fingers tracing over the skin he found there as my sweater rode up a little. “But I think that I’m overdressed.”

“We can get you out of some of these clothes,” I replied cheekily, making him smirk.

“Oh, good,” he smiled playfully, making me giggle again. “You can take off whatever you like.”

“Maybe not in the hall,” I teased as I brought him inside and shutting the door behind him. He stopped, looking at the man on the couch. 

“Should I move?” Edward offered, looking at me. “Hey,” he said politely to Jasper. 

I shook my head, not slowing down as I tugged my boyfriend towards my room. I wanted to be alone with him, and Tanya was already in a mood. “Nope. You’re fine.”

“Uh, hi,” Jasper replied quietly when he realized what I was doing, happily following behind me while holding both of my hands. He didn’t mind me dragging him along, especially to my bedroom. “Bye.” 

When inside, I locked the door behind us. He chuckled when I pushed him against the door to kiss him again. He took over, turning to press me against it in return. Jasper lifted me by the thighs, wrapping my legs around his waist. We made out there like that for several minutes.

“We probably shouldn’t do this with a gun on you,” I laughed breathlessly as he began to suckle at my throat, my head falling against the door. His hand was going up and down my thigh as he did, sending electrical shocks that went to my sock-covered toes. 

“Oops,” he mumbled as he quickly put me back down to the ground. “Shit. Forgot about that. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m pretty sure that it’s a risk of dating a lawman,” I joked, making him smirk a little. 

He turned around to take off his coat, and I began to help him. Carefully, I moved my fingers over his shoulders, letting them drag down as I removed it. I took his suit jacket as well, hanging them both up in my closet. He was wearing a black vest and a tight pair of matching slacks that made his ass look amazing. Openly staring, I watched as he pulled off his gloves, sticking them in his pocket, before removing his gun harness. 

“If you want, you can put it in my desk so that you don’t have to run out to the car,” I offered. I knew that he usually kept it in his briefcase, but he hadn’t brought it in with him. 

“Perfect,” he replied, following me to the unused desk in the corner. There were three drawers. The top was filled with pens and notebooks, the second housed his Christmas gifts. Opening the one that was barely filled at the bottom, I allowed him to put it down because I wasn’t comfortable handling his gun. “Thank you.”

“Mmhmm,” I mumbled as I moved my hands down his ribs as I stood beside him.  

Jasper turned to face me. Slowly, I traced the bottom of the vest until I got to the buttons. I did each one carefully, pushing it off his shoulders before going to hang it up as well. He was careful with his clothes, and I would be too. When I came back, I began to work on his red tie.

“I don’t suppose there is anything that I can take off for you?” He impishly asked. 

I giggled, shaking my head. “No. I’m just going to help you get more comfortable.”

“Okay,” he smiled a little, tugging me towards him for another gentle kiss. The knot gave way, and I pulled the silk from around his neck as we continued. When I drew away, I hung it around mine so that my hands were free to begin to work on his shirt. He undid his cuffs for me quickly. Jasper was left in nothing but his white undershirt and slacks. 

“There,” I said as I went to the closet to put the rest of the items away. “Honestly, you should just bring your suitcase in so that I can go ahead and wash your clothes.”

“You don’t need to do that,” he promptly replied. 

I shook my head. “I want to.”

“You’re my girlfriend, not my slave,” he stated earnestly. Like it was even a concern. 

I laughed at his seriousness. “Hm, I know. I wanted to do it for you before, and I want to do it now. Because I want to take care of you. Because, you know, I love you.”

He actually blushed a little, surprised for some reason. “It’s going to take a little while to get used to that,” Jasper admitted in a small voice. “I don’t want you to think that I’m just using you ever again. For sex or anything else.”

“I mean, eventually I’d like you to use me for sex at least a little bit,” I teased. “I like being used. It’s fun.” 

Without thinking, he jokingly popped my ass just once. It wasn’t hard, just playful and funny. Jasper realized what he had done just a second after, his eyes getting wider. It actually made me laugh in surprise, but I immediately reigned it in. I narrowed my eyes at him. 

“Did you just spank me?” I pretended to be offended. He realized right away, his lips pushed together as he turned a little pinker. “Dr. Hale, you didn’t have permission to do that.” 

“Oops,” he repeated, trying to look bashful and failing. “Sorry. Forgot myself. You were just being so sassy and asking for a smacking and-”

“Asking for a smacking?” I interrupted, laughing at his adorably thick accent. “I wasn’t asking for nothing,” I continued to taunt.  

He grabbed my hips, pulling me towards him roughly. “I was being sincere.”

“So was I.”

Jasper groaned, leaning down to kiss my throat gently. “I know you were, my naughty little girl.”

His bare hands started to sneak under the hem of my sweater again along my stomach as he began to lightly nip. I tilted my head back and to the side, closing my eyes as he expertly gave me attention.  

There was a knock on the door. He moaned in protest, bringing his hands to his face to cover it. I pulled away from him, giggling at his attitude. “It’s probably for the best.”

“If you say so,” he complained, pouting. 

“Hey!” Tanya said brightly when I opened my bedroom door. She peeked over me and made a little face at my boyfriend. Quickly, she smiled at me again. “So, we’re heading out. See you next year. Have a Merry Christmas, okay?”

“I will. You too.”

She brought me into a hug, squeezing me tightly. “Thanks again for my gifts. They’re so perfect for the beach.”

“You’re welcome,” I replied. We had done our exchange the day before. I had found a bunch of summer-themed stuff on sale at a Target for ninety percent off in some forgotten corner. It was exactly what she needed. A fun beach towel, a bag, and a couple of other matching accessories. They were all bright pink. “Have a good time. Be safe.”

“You too,” she said, holding my shoulders. Tanya looked at Jasper again. “If you do anything-”

“T, it’s fine,” I laughed awkwardly, pushing her out of my room. “Please stop. He’s being great.”

“For now,” she whispered then hugged me again. “Okay. We’re going. Happy Holidays.”
 
I followed her to the door so that I could lock it when she left. Edward had already taken her stuff to the car and was waiting for her there. They were already running late.  

“Sorry about that,” I said quietly when I turned around. Jasper was standing just outside my room, watching. 

He shook his head, looking away. “She has a reason not to like me.”

I shrugged in response. “It’s not her place to be angry with you over that. It’s mine, and since I’ve decided to forgive you, she’ll have to eventually get over it.”

“Have you forgiven me?” He questioned. I nodded. Jasper swallowed, taking a deep breath through his nose. “So easily?”

“Well,” I began, “you’re obviously sincerely remorseful. And though I’ve found your contriteness charming, I don’t wish for it to last forever. Eventually, I want you to not be afraid to play with me again. To spank me. Maybe not tonight, but very soon.”

Jasper nodded his head. “I know. I want that, too. And I am sorry. I didn’t mean to do that earlier.”

“I don’t want you to apologize,” I promised. “It was just unexpected.”

“Obviously, I’ve missed your ass,” he ruefully stated, looking down at his feet as he stuck his hands into his pockets. 

I giggled, nodding my head. “So, how many spankings do you owe me?”

“I’m pretty sure I wiped that particular slate clean a few moments ago.”

“Just the one?” I pouted. “Really? Man, I need to up my game,” I deadpanned, making him laugh. “Okay. So, anyway…” I shook my head, laughing a bit myself. “Would you like to order dinner?” I offered just so we could maybe try to relax. 

He brought his hand out of his pocket real quick as if to stop me. “Um, actually, I was hoping that we could talk about something first. If that’s okay. I just want to get it out of the way.”

“Of course,” I responded, instantly worried. I didn’t like the words or the distance between us. It made me nervous. 

Taking a deep breath, he swallowed deeply as if he was nervous too. “Um, so I was hoping that you would like to join me at my family’s home for Christmas day. I know that I’ve asked before and you haven’t said anything. If not, it’s okay. I understand that it’s too soon, and it’s probably overwhelming. And if you don’t want to, I’ll come over as soon as I can. I just-”

“I’d like to go,” I answered, making him instantly smile. He looked so relieved. “I mean, your mom has probably already picked out the napkins for our wedding. Don’t want to disappoint her.” 

Jasper laughed. “Um… You have no idea how much she’s been talking about you, actually. She’s asked whether you were joining me or not every day for a week now. I just told her that I couldn’t promise anything and that we hadn’t discussed our plans yet. She’s not real pleased with my lack of willingness to provide information.”

“What have you told her about us?” I asked curiously. I was going to need to know that. 

He looked away for a moment. “The truth, mostly. That we just became… exclusive… a couple of weeks ago and that we haven’t been able to see each other much. And that she needs to calm the hell down.” I giggled softly at his words. He took a few steps towards me. “You really want to come? You don’t have to do it just for me.”

I shook my head, taking a couple of steps towards him. “I want to. It’s a little… scary, but I do. I want to meet the rest of your family.”

“Well, you’ve met most of them. It’s just Mom, Dad, Rose, and her husband, Emmett. And my Mamaw,” he said in a happy rush. “We’re a small bunch.”

“Aw,” I giggled, smiling at his choice of words. He chuckled, finally closing the distance between us. “So, um, what do we have going on tomorrow if we’ve settled Christmas day?”

Jasper put his arms around my waist. “First, a nice breakfast, and then I’ve got something planned for the whole day… if you’re willing to indulge me.”  


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10/29/2019

Locke. Chapter Twenty-Nine: Off my Chest

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Chapter Twenty-nine: Off my Chest


I was laying on top of Jasper in the dark of his hotel room. He would have to fly out in the morning, back to Albany. We were both fully dressed in our pajamas, I just couldn’t get close enough to him. His hands were running up and down my spine soothingly. My ear was on his heart, listening to it beat in a perfect rhythm. We had been silent for a long time. We were supposed to be trying to sleep, but neither one of us was feeling it. Both of us wanted as much time as possible with the other.

His hands stopped at the center of my back as he pushed his face in my hair to deeply breathe in my scent. "It'll never be enough," he said suddenly, his voice mumbled.

I looked up at him slowly. "What?" 

"I'll never get enough time with you."

I shook my head slowly, holding his gaze. There was the tiniest bit of light in the room, and I could just make out the lovely features of his face. "We've only been dating a couple of days. You'll get sick of me. Just wait."

"No," he stated firmly and very seriously. 

"Mm, yes," I said a bit sarcastically as I laid my head back down. 

His grip tightened around me, pressing my body to his. "Little girl, I am going to keep a running tally of spankings that I owe you. Don't argue with me about these kinds of things."

I giggled. "Good. I hope you do. I want you to beat my ass for years to come."

Jasper laughed loudly before quickly clearing his throat. "Mm... Me too, darlin." 

"What's going to happen in the morning?" I asked abruptly. My worry had been building in the back of my head all night. 

Sighing, he squeezed me again so that his fingers curled into the fabric of my t-shirt. "Well, I'll wake up at five and take a shower, alone unless you want to join me," he began with a slight smile. "Then I will take you to one last lovely meal together. Next, I'll whisk you home, bring all your of your stuff inside like a gentleman, and get you tucked into bed so you can go back to sleep. Finally, I'll head to DFW and take a four-hour nap myself."

"That's not what I meant, but I like that," I admitted softly. 

"I realize. All I can say is that I will kiss you goodbye and tell you that I love you but wish with every fiber of my being that I was just crawling into that tiny bed with you so you could use me for a pillow. And when I get to the airport, I'll think about texting you already but won't because it's pathetic."

"No, it's not," I promised. "Text me every single moment that you can. Just like before."

He chuckled softly. "I think that I'll text a bit more than before. I'll make more time. I need you in my head to keep me sane."

"That better not be my job because then we're both screwed," I muttered, making him chuckle again. 

Jasper shook his head and kissed the top of mine lightly. He let his lips linger there, his nose pushing into my scalp. "I just need your light. I need the hope that you give me. You provide me with a reason to get excited about waking up every morning. It's been a long time since I've felt that way."

He was being so sweet. I swallowed back my emotions. They felt heavy in my throat, a lump forming as I tried not to cry for some reason that I couldn't quite understand. I was used to him not being around, but now it was so much harder to even think about. But it was more than that. 

"I don't want to disappoint you," I confessed, closing my eyes for a moment. 

"You couldn't." 

"That's not true, and you know it," I replied. He shook his head in response. "I could hurt you. I could break your heart. I'm not perfect."

Jasper lifted my chin so that I would look into his eyes. "It ain't possible. I never thought I would get this chance with you, and the fact that you're allowing it is enough. We will hurt each other, but as long as it's not purposefully cruel, and we admit our mistakes, we'll be fine. Hopefully, we'll be better for it. I've never had a desire for this kind of relationship before… But I want it with you. And I'm willing to go through anything to have it."

"Have you ever dated anyone?" I asked in curiosity. 

"Not more than a couple of months here or there. It's been years, though. Mostly in high school. Some in the military. Not since I've joined the FBI." 

I laughed. "Oh, god." Sighing, I shook my head. "So neither of us has any experience. This is going to go well."

"It is," he said so sincerely that I wanted to believe him. I leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. 

"Why am I different? I know that you have to have had other good subs," I asked when I pulled away. Everything seemed too good to be true, and my heart could hardly take it. I kept searching for the cracks in his story because it didn't seem possible. 

He shrugged casually. "I had good experiences with people who were great submissives for others, sure. But I've never met someone that I was as excited to spend time with like this, non-sexually. I want to have a conversation with you. I want your opinions. I want to see you smile. I want your friendship and happiness." Jasper stopped for a moment to collect his thoughts. "The first time that we had regular sex, it had been the first time that I had vanilla in years. I wasn't even sure that I would still enjoy it before that night. I was starting to worry because I wasn't interested in anyone for anything other than to fuck and beat them. But it was… better."

"Than what?" 

"Anything that we had ever done before. Better than anything that I had done before with anyone else." His fingers moved into my hair, playing with it gently. "It was the first time that I was able to not be in control and enjoy it fully, maybe ever. I love being your Dom, but I also like being every other part of myself with you."

I leaned forward once more and kissed his lips deeply. He hummed against my mouth, holding me there. It was tender and loving, his hands flat against my back as he pressed me to him. 

"I love you," I whispered, laying my head on his shoulder when we finally pulled apart again. 

"I love you too, darlin," he breathed. 

Sometime shortly after, we fell asleep while spooning. 

Jasper literally tucked me back into bed that morning, mischievously scooping me up and placing me under the covers to make me laugh. He kissed me over and over again until finally, he had to go, or he would miss his flight. Somehow I fell back asleep almost instantly, having been pampered with a good breakfast and lots of attention. I only got a couple of hours and was exhausted. 

When I woke up in the mid-afternoon, there were two messages waiting for me from Jasper. One was from only about an hour after he left. It said, "I regret not getting into that tiny bed so much already." The second was six hours later, from just a few minutes before. "Honestly, it's not possible for me to express in words just how much I regret not getting into that bed with you this morning. Fuck this. I need a proper vacation and a drink. February? Do you want to spend two weeks somewhere with me with no phone?"

"Sure," I replied. "I'd love to." 

My phone beeped, and I thought it was Jasper again, but it wasn't. I had gotten an alert on my phone from the news in Rochester. Two young black women were found murdered, bound, and gagged, in a small patch of woods just outside the city. 

"There were two bodies found in Rochester. They were teenage black girls," I texted him in surprise. 

"I know," he answered. "I'm on my way there now."

My breath actually caught in my throat. "Is it him?" 

"Yes," he replied instantly with a dreadful sense of finality. 

"Two at a time now?" Horror filled me. The monster really was escalating. 

"It's not the first pair. The press doesn't know all the victims," he informed me. I was surprised that he gave me this information so easily. I had become annoyingly obsessed with the case and started looking around New York and neighboring states for similar cases before that fateful night, but I didn't want him to know that. 

I wanted to ask so many questions. I wondered if he would actually tell me anything that the news couldn't or wouldn't. Biting my lip for a moment, I decided to press my luck. "Are they recent or…?" I wasn't sure the polite way to ask how fresh the corpses were and I didn't want to sound like a sicko.

"Recent. We're putting the time of death sometime in the past forty-eight hours for both of them. They were killed almost at the same time, most likely.” 

"What was their exact cause of death?" I knew most had been strangled, according to the press, but some had been stabbed as well. I had a theory that he probably killed them that way when things went… badly, for him. 

I had a vision in my head for this moron. Some drooling monster with a tiny IQ and a smaller penis who was such a hideous beast that no woman would willingly touch him. I often wondered how his terribleness didn't stand out, flashing like a neon sign above his head. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer.

"We won't know that for certain until we get the autopsy, of course. But they were tied up and strangled like the others. They're also covered in a variety of cuts, scratches, and stab wounds but none of them appear lethal," he explained. Another message promptly beeped. "I shouldn't be telling you this."

"No! I'm curious!" I typed quickly. "Maybe talking to me about your cases could help you. You know that I've done a ton of research on this kind of stuff for stories, so it doesn't bother me," I promised. 

"Maybe," he replied. "I have to go. I'm sorry. I hope you got some sleep."

"I did, and I dreamed about you," I answered, missing him already. It wasn't untrue either.

“When I napped, I dreamt of you too.”

I spent the rest of the day working on my cop story and catching up on laundry. I had shoved all my clothes into the corner of my closet, and they needed a good wash. The apartment was quiet, Tanya wasn't around. It was the perfect time to work. I was almost done with the first rough draft, maybe a couple of chapters away at most. 

For the first time in a long time, I felt inspired. I wrote for almost a full twenty-four hours in a row. The only breaks that I took were to eat, go to the bathroom, and to talk to Jasper. He called for a few minutes before he went to bed, just to hear my voice. He sounded so exhausted, barely able to stay awake. It was unsurprising late though, it was after one in the morning there. 

After I typed the last paragraph of the story, I started at the screen for maybe fifteen minutes in shock. I had written the novel surprisingly fast, and despite that, I was extremely pleased with it. It was a rare thing. It would be polished in the second draft, fixing mistakes and typos, but I was more than satisfied with the plotline. 

Then a thought popped into my head. A single, wonderful idea. 

I couldn't wait to give it to Jasper. 

But I wanted to give him more than just the digital copy. He loved his paperback of my book. I had been thinking about what to get him for Christmas since he had left, but I didn't really have any great ideas. I hadn't been excited about the holiday at all before, but now I couldn't wait. 

I had a laser printer that I had gotten stupidly cheap used that I rarely actually turned on. Somehow, I got it in my head that it would be good for printing out my work to give out. Like I would be spending that money on copy paper. It was mainly used for coupons and taxes.

It was two in the morning when I decided to run to Walmart that was not far from my apartment to pick up printer paper, a binder, a hole punch, highlighters, multi-colored pens, and post-it notes along with the gift bag to put it in. It wouldn't be the only thing that I gave him, but I was so thrilled about him reading it. 

When I got home, it was just after four in the morning. The apartment was dark, and Tanya's purse was on the hook, so I knew she was home. Edward's jacket was beside it. I was almost to my room when he came stumbling out of her bedroom, drunk with sleep. He was just in his underwear. Stopping to look at me, he pushed a hand over his face roughly. 

"Hey. Where have you been?"

"Christmas shopping," I told him honestly, lifting the sacks I had. 

He peeked inside, leaning over a little. "Office supplies?" 

"No, they just go with it. I'm giving Jasper my latest book for Christmas, and he likes to take notes in the margins," I explained. 

Edward nodded his head thoughtfully, leaning his forehead against the door jamb as he looked me over. He genuinely smiled, soft with his drowsiness. "He'll like that. He's been talking about your stories for years. I never realized that they were yours."

I looked him over curiously. "Have you ever read any of my books?"

"Yes," he said quietly, looking away with a soft blush on his cheeks. "The Marie Bell stuff."

"Before or after you knew it was me?"

"After," he admitted. "I should have read it all sooner. I've known about them for a couple of years. Jasper has recommended them to me more than once."

I smirked a bit to myself. "Yes, you should have," I replied as I went into my room. 

Putting my haul on my rarely used desk, I flopped back onto the bed. With a goal in mind for the following day, I fell asleep quickly. And once I finished his book, I would start looking for some more Christmas presents and not just for him. 


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10/26/2019

Locke. Chapter Twenty-eight: Punching Down

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Chapter Twenty-eight: Punching Down



Somehow, Jasper kept it in his pants at my place, though honestly, it was evident that it was a challenge. I laid on top of him on the couch for a few hours, occasionally making out. I would go until I could feel him just about to break then pull away to snuggle against his chest. Whenever we did, his hands would stop under my breasts or over my ass like a nervous teenage boy. It was exactly what I wanted. I needed to test the limits of his control.  

I made chili bean stew with cornbread and sweet tea for dinner. It took forever to figure it out because he kept saying ‘whatever I wanted’ when all I was hoping for was to make him happy. He obviously enjoyed the food, eating two bowls before washing the dishes for me while I put away the leftovers. 

We ordered enough groceries for me to make breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even dessert for the following day. After he dropped off his suits at the front desk in the morning, Jasper hauled the rest of his clothes to my place. He wouldn’t let me take them from him, going right away into the laundry closet to start them. 

Breakfast was just simple eggs, bacon, and toast with juice. I loved cooking for him. I liked how taking care of him made me feel. His equal eagerness to please me made it even more rewarding. 

Once the food was eaten, the dishes cleaned, and his clothes were put in the dryer, we laid on the couch again. We tangled in each other, our legs twisted together. The television was off, and neither of us reached for the remote.  

"So, are we just going to nap?" I asked after about fifteen minutes, snuggling deeper. I wedged myself between him and the couch to get more comfortable.  

"Yes, please. I haven't had one in months," he murmured, kissing the top of my head as he readjusted beside me sleepily. Jasper reached for the blanket and pulled it over both of us. The air in the apartment was just a little crisp, and his warmth was perfect. Soothingly, he played with my hair until I fell asleep. It didn't take long. I felt so safe and comfortable.  

When the front door opened, I barely registered it. I hadn’t thought about my roommate in a couple of days. I had sent her a text saying that I was going to be out for the evening a couple of nights before and wasn’t sure when I was going to return. We hadn’t spoken at all since then. She was out all night the day before. 
​
“Ah, so you’re who the flowers are from. I figured. I don’t know if I trust you,” I heard Tanya say very sternly. I was having trouble opening my eyes because I had been in such a deep sleep. My face was practically smashed into his armpit, too. It was probably a good thing that he smelled so good. All I wanted her to do was go away so that I could go back to sleep. 

He replied softly as if not to wake me. “Nor should you. But I’m going to try to earn that back. You’re important to her.”

"You really hurt Bella," she said fiercely. I finally looked up at her. She was visibly angry, her pale cheeks red, and her eyes dangerously narrowed. I had never seen her look that way, even when she was fighting with Edward. "And it's not okay." 

Jasper shook his head in agreement. “No, it’s not. I regret it more than anything.” He squeezed me a little, his fingers curling around my hip.  

“It’s alright, Tanya,” I mumbled drowsily as I finally lifted my face. “I can be mad all on my own.”

"I know you're into pain, but I've never seen someone suffer like that-" She began to venomously rant but stopped herself. Tanya sniffled a little before focusing again. "It scared me! You don't get another second chance, and I'll make sure of it." She pointed at his face, standing over him at the end of the couch.  

“If I fuck up this badly again, I don’t deserve it. I’m not into this. No one is. It’s not what I wanted. I just wanted her to be able to move on. I was trying to protect her in my own fucked up way,” he swore quickly. 

She cocked her hip and shoulder to the side as she looked down at him as if he was stupid. "Are you fucking serious?" She snapped. Tanya actually balled up her fist a little like she was about to punch down at him, but Edward popped out of nowhere and wrapped both of his arms around her shoulders. "Protecting her?! You were protecting her? Someone's going to need to protect you-" 

“Okay! That’s enough, tiger. Let’s not assault the federal agent,” he mumbled to her as she stamped her feet uselessly. His girlfriend pouted, pulling away from him. She walked behind Edward, crossing her arms over her chest with a huff. 

Both men looked at each other awkwardly, silently. Jasper cleared his throat first, his head tilted back against the couch arm since we hadn’t sat up yet. “So, um, shall we just drop it and pretend nothing happened?” He offered. “We’re just both pricks.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” he nodded quickly in agreement. “I apologize again.”

“As do I.”

Edward nodded once more, putting his hands in the pocket of his slacks. He sort of grinned, rocking on his heels. “Cool. Well, it’ll be nice to see Bella happy again at least.”

My boyfriend looked down into my eyes, squeezing me again before glancing at Edward. “If you do anything to make her in any way uncomfortable, you will be the one assaulted by a federal agent,” he said very seriously, throwing his words back at him. “That hasn’t changed.” 

“Understood,” he promptly acknowledged. 

“As long as he stays how he’s been the past few weeks, it’ll be fine,” I defended Edward, finally sitting up and popping my back. He gave me a brief smile.

“I’m trying to respect your wishes.”

I nodded. "I know, and I thank you for that."  

Tanya took a step forward, her arms still crossed over her chest. She wasn't pleased, at all. Her pretty face was scrunched up in a pout. "So, what? Is everything just going back to how they were, or are you actually his girlfriend?" 

A grin spread over my face. “We’re dating now.”

“How is that going to even work? You’re never here!” She waved her hand at him, her nose crinkled up as much as it could before she puffed in frustration. My friend was just as protective of me as I was of her. She was ready for a fight.  

Jasper sat up finally. “I’m moving here permanently next month. I will have to travel occasionally, but I’m going to be working at the state level. So, I’ll never be more than an hour plane ride from home.”

"Well! Good! That's a start!" She fussed angrily, but she was losing steam. She looked at everyone in the room. "I'm going to get ready!" Tanya snapped at Edward, stomping into her bedroom. She would take her fury out on him, and he would probably love it. I sort of giggled anxiously, putting my head in hands for just a second before I ran my fingers through my hair.  

“Y’all going out?” I asked conversationally, trying not to be totally unpleasant. Everything was weird enough. We didn’t need to be sitting in silence.  

“Yeah. Family thing,” he mumbled, just sort of standing in the middle of the living room. “Barbecue. It should be good. My mom’s a great cook. I mean, you’ve had it,” he pointed at Jasper. 

He nodded uncomfortably. “Oh, yeah. I remember. Good brownies.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of her specialty,” Edward continued, obviously not wanting the silence either. I think he was actually a little scared of Jasper. He probably should have been.

“Why don’t we go to my room?” I offered, standing up quickly. I pulled Jasper up off the couch with both hands before turning to Edward. “Have fun tonight!”

When we got to my bedroom, I leaned against the door after I shut it. I covered my face again with my hands and took a deep, shaky breath. It was a hell of a way to wake up. My heart skipped unpleasantly in my throat.  

“You okay?” He touched my shoulders. I nodded, slowly dropping my hands. 

“It’s just weird. It’s fine,” I promised as I took another deep breath and finally looked at him. “It’ll get easier, especially when Tanya calms down. I should have told her. I forgot to talk to her. I was distracted.”

Jasper brought his palm up to my cheek. “She has a right to be angry at me. I can see what I did. It’s written all over your body. On your face. I hate it, and I hate myself. I knew I had been cruel, but I had no idea that it would affect you like this.”

I anxiously looked down at my body. “Do I look that bad?”

He swiftly took my face in his hands. “No! But you look… frail. Your face is gaunt. Honestly, you look better than you did from even just two days ago. I can see it in your cheeks.” He ran his thumb over them gently. 

“Is that why you keep feeding me?” I smirked. He shrugged a little. “I’m really fine.”

He shook his head, avoiding my eyes. I pulled him to me in a kiss. It was fierce, wanting to show up just how okay I was. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead on mine. His eyes were tightly closed, and his face was pained.  

“I made the woman that I love stop eating and lock herself away. What kind of monster am I?”

“I barely left the house before! And I chose to change my diet.”

“Because you were so unhappy that everything tasted-” He stopped, frustrated.

I kind of laughed hollowly. “Honey, I’m fat. I needed to lose it.”

“No!” He argued ferociously. “You will not insult yourself. Not right now. Not ever.”

"I'm not!" I smirked at his fearsome attitude. "I could probably stand to lose twenty more, at least. Don't worry, though. That's not going to happen because I like being fed." I poked my stomach.  

Jasper sighed softly, pulling back to look in my eyes worriedly. “When I leave again, you’ll not stop eating, will you?”

"When you leave, are you going to not talk to me?" I seriously asked.  

He shook his head quickly. “We’ll talk as much as I can. I promise. We’ll speak on the phone and text. Or we can try Skype.”

I brought my hand up to push his hair out of his eyes. “Then I don’t see it being a problem. Don’t get used to this. I’m going to plump right back up. Especially since it’s Christmas time.”

“Good. I hope so,” Jasper mumbled, pouting out his bottom lip a little. 

A question popped into my head, and I just blurted it out right away. "Are you really normally into thick girls, or is it just me?" 

Laughing at my abruptness, Jasper looked away for a moment. He took a deep breath. “Um, I like curvier women, yes.”

“Why?” I asked next. It just leaped out of my mouth. I couldn’t understand it and had to know. He could have anyone.  

He took a step back, his face bemused. “Why are you attracted to me? Why is anyone attracted to anyone?”

"Uh, I'm attracted to you because you're over six feet of muscles and heroic scars with a face like Apollo," I answered very sarcastically. "Come on. You know that you're hot. I'm cute, but you're out of my league. Normally I wouldn't have even tried speaking to you because there wouldn't be any point. I figured you'd end up treating me with total disdain just like Edward did in the beginning before he knew. You shouldn't want me." 

“Okay,” he laughed bitterly, “that’s ridiculous! Just every part of that. First, I am not any of those things and-”

“Shut up,” I snapped. “You don’t get to insult yourself either. You make every woman you look at just sigh because you’re all southern charm and manners with that body. And I won’t argue with you about it.”

He smirked as he looked up and flushed red. "Okay. What do you want me to say, darlin? Skinny girls don't come with big enough asses? That I need to be able to see my whole handprint on it? I'd like to be smothered in thick thighs?" He took another step back, bending down a bit to look in my eyes. "Little girl, I want to bury my face in your tits and never leave. Your lips are the sexiest on the planet. I dream about them, and I draw them over and over again because I can't stop thinking about how perfect they are." 

I giggled, looking down at the floor. “You could probably fit a couple of handprints on mine. A couple on each cheek.”

"I know," he moaned hungrily, making me laugh louder. Jasper smiled at my reaction. "When you're ready, I'll show you. I am going to make love to you for hours, maybe days. I don't think that I could express my feelings accurately with words, but I'll try until then." 

“Days?” I asked in a tiny voice. 

“At a minimum,” he promised, looking deep into my eyes as if he was willing me to believe him. I did.  

“Mmm, I wonder if you could take a vacation in February,” I mused jokingly. 

Jasper groaned loudly, and we both actually laughed. "I can see," he kind of playfully whined.  

“I’m surprised that you didn’t complain,” I teased. “That’s a long time.” 

He stepped forward, looking rather serious again. "Bella, if you need to wait a month or two, that's fine. I'm a big boy, and I made my bed, I will lie in it. I might want more, but I understand why I don't get that yet. And I want to show you that I'm serious. Sex is extra. Everything else is just a bonus." 

"So, if I decided that I didn't want to do it again until some wildly long amount of time. Like, say, a year. You'd just… take it?" He was smirking, knowing that I was teasing him. Slowly he ran his tongue over his teeth, then rolled his eyes before nodding. "Oh, fun. Okay, so, I think we'll wait until the wedding night then," I stated puckishly, making my eyes playfully big. “How’s your mom, by the way?”  

He laughed loudly before composing himself. Jasper sniffed deeply, trying to make his face serious. “Well, all I can say is to expect a very short engagement.”

It was my turn to laugh, my head falling back against the door as I covered my mouth with my hand. “Oh, god. If I did that, we’d end up eloping in three months. I don’t want to die of blue balls either.”

Jasper chuckled, finally closing the short distance between us again to hold me. “Well, I don’t think that’s a good idea, but it’s not the worst way this thing could go.”  

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10/24/2019

Locke. Chapter Twenty-seven: Dallas Museum of Art

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Chapter Twenty-Seven: Dallas Museum of Art


Several times in the night, Jasper groaned loudly in his fitful sleep. It was as if he was in pain. I would stroke his hair and kiss his cheeks until he relaxed back into a deeper slumber. He would softly sigh, squeezing me to him with his gently flexing fingers on my hip. 

 When I woke up, I had my head on his chest, and he was very gently playing with my hair. I wasn't sure what time it was. I was so comfortable that I didn't want to move. Keeping my eyes closed, I listened to his soothing heartbeat. He hummed with pleasure, the sensation vibrating against my cheek.  

“Good morning,” he cooed when I finally looked up at his handsome face. Jasper was openly watching me. I grinned bashfully and pressed my cheek against his pec, making him chuckle. “Oh yeah. I could get used to this.”

“Me too,” I agreed.

 He leaned down to kiss the top of my head. “What would you like to do today?”

I shrugged as I shifted up more to kiss him lightly, once, twice, and then again. Each became deeper and more intense. Sleepily, I straddled his waist so that I could take control over it. His big hands went to my hips, holding onto me tightly, as I brought mine to his cheeks.  

"We should go out if you're not ready to have sex yet," he breathlessly said against my lips. Jasper gently dragged his hands up from my hips to just under my breasts. I could feel how badly he wanted to keep going.  

"Hm, okay," I giggled teasingly as I moved to his neck, kissing there instead. "So, we can do brunch," I began, and he squirmed under my touch. "It is a Sunday, so that's perfect. Is there anything you need to do? Do you need to do your laundry?" I nipped at his ear, tugging on the earlobe.  

“Ah,” he laughed as he leaned his head back. “I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ll send my suits out in the morning.” 

“If you want, you can do them at the apartment tomorrow.” I switched to the other side, licking along his jaw for just a second before biting it lightly. “We could do something fun. Something actually date-like. I haven’t in ages.”

Jasper slowly licked his lips, closing his eyes as he tilted his head further back to give me all the access that I wanted to his throat. I took advantage of it. “Um… okay, uh… We could go to the movies or the zoo. Or the aquarium,” he stuttered out. “Museum. Mall. Um, fuck…” He moaned when I suckled right at his Adam’s apple.  

"I do enjoy a good museum," I slyly stated against his ear. I nipped it again.   

"Art museum," he blurted out loudly. "We could go to the art museum." My teasing was getting to him, and I loved it. I relished having this power over him. This was the kind of control that I liked. His erection kept twitching between my thighs, proving to me how much sway I had over his body.  

“Oh, that would be fun,” I said as I sat up, rocking against him. “There are those three right there around that park. Just downtown. It’s probably not too far.” I bit the tip of my finger playfully for a moment, batting my eyelashes at him innocently. “Well, that’s what we can do this afternoon. What should we do tonight?”

He moaned and put his hands on my thighs. His fingers tightened around them, squeezing hard. “You’re so mean… and sexy…”

I ignored him. "We could go back to my place, and I could cook for you. And we can Netflix and actually chill." 

“That would be great. Yeah. Whatever you want to do, darlin,” he breathed. Jasper looked like he was about to explode. I knew that he remembered what happened last time we ‘chilled’ on my couch.  

I rocked against him once more very purposefully before I swung my leg over to get off of the bed. “I’m going to grab a quick shower and get changed.”

Jasper nodded, sort of pouting at his hard-on. “Sounds good. I’ll take one after you.” 

We decided on Benedict’s for breakfast. We both had coffee, sitting for a long time just chatting. It was just easy small talk. He kept feeding me bites of his fruit from our shared platter or of his steak and mushroom eggs benedict. It was delicious. I enjoyed sharing my blueberry stuffed french toast with him. 

When we got to the museum, he bought the tickets for the special exhibits before taking my hand. There weren't that many people around, and it felt surprisingly private. Sunlight streamed in through the big windows, lighting up the white interior. Everything felt so open and almost perfect in its cleanliness.  

“I feel like I need to get to know you again. I wish I could start all over because I did everything wrong,” he began. 

"You didn't do everything wrong," I giggled softly, anxiously. "Honestly, the only thing you didn't do was talk to me. Which I am angry about and though I’m still not totally over it yet, I will forgive you. And it won't take that long, I swear. Just as long as you promise not to do it again. If you are having feelings that you need to talk to me about, you should right away so that we can deal with them together," I monologued rather confidently. I wanted him to know my sentiments. I had never been dishonest with him before, and I wasn't going to start our new relationship by suppressing my needs for our future. I wasn't going to hide my expectations from him or sugarcoat them.  

He nodded his head, clearly listening to what I was saying. Gently, he squeezed my hand. “That is a totally fair and very reasonable demand,” he said as he brought it up to his mouth to lightly kiss.

“Just be open and honest, and I’ll give you all of me.”

“You should really demand more,” he replied.

I bit my lip, glancing over at him. “Well, it’s not all that I want. Those are just the main requirements.”

Jasper looked at me with pleading eyes. "Ask for anything, and I'll give it to you." 

Humming quietly, I drew away from him for a moment. “I want your love and kindness. And your tenderness, and loyalty.”

“You’ll have them,” he readily promised. 

I smirked a little to myself, taking a few steps ahead of him to the next level. “I know,” I indicated nonchalantly.  

We stopped in front of the big golden Buddha with its palms raised up in prayer in front of a glass-enclosed garden. Beside it was a breathtaking silver shrine from India. He didn't look at me as he spoke abruptly, "I've never had these sorts of feelings before, and I didn't honestly know how to handle them." 

I wanted to ask him so many questions. We were going to be talking about this for ages, I knew. I decided I wanted to test his willingness to be open. “You said you knew the night Edward came…?”
 
He nodded his head thoughtfully, licking the corner of his bottom lip. “When you ran out of the room like that. I instantly panicked. And all I could think was, ‘I can’t let the woman that I love run away like-’” Jasper stopped and smirked a little at himself. “Which is part of the reason why I felt the need to drink that night. I was so terrified that I was going to lose you, right when I figured it out and before I knew what to do with it.”

“Why did you think you’d lose me?”

He played with the ends of his jacket sleeve. “Either because you got freaked out or because you finally had an actual shot with a man you want.”

“I want you,” I whispered. 

Jasper smiled just a little. “I can see that now. But sitting there that night, I just knew when you calmed down that you’d at least consider it.”

“I never did.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“I don’t think that I knew the full extent of my feelings until I was sitting at the table last night. I realized that I cared for you more than I have ever cared about another person. But I couldn’t say the words to myself because it hurt too much.”

“I’m sorry,” Jasper breathed. 

I decided to continue to share my thoughts. "I didn't think that you wanted me for anything other than sex, and at the beginning, I was really okay with that. I was just so excited that someone as handsome as you wanted to give me any attention at all. And god, the sex," I sighed at the very thought of how good it was. "It was worth anything I had to go through. I didn't know it was possible to find someone who just-" I stopped, laughing as I considered the way to word it in public. There was someone way off in a far corner. "That ticked all the right boxes."  

We continued walking to the Hindu Statue section, where we were all alone. He put his hand on my lower back, leaning his lips close to my ear. "I feel the same." 

"You are the kind of man that I write about," I told him in a whisper, my face turning bright red as I admitted it out loud. "If I were to fantasize about the perfect person for me, I'm not sure that I could come up with a better representation. I felt like, as a lover, I could openly express all of my desires to you without fear of judgment. It was so freeing." 

He kissed me soundly. “You can. I promise. I want to know everything. Sex or not.”

“So do I,” I promise, pulling him along. “Can I ask you something?” I inquired as we moved into a section that housed the Van Gogh. It looked as if it was just at someone’s home, hung under a set of Spanish style iron stairs. It was as if they were transported from a person’s house. It was so different from the rest of the museum.

“Anything.”

“What got you into BDSM?” I pressed inquisitively. “I mean, did you just always like hitting people or…?”

Jasper laughed, pausing to let another couple walk past us. "I was always a rowdy child, and I loved to wrestle. I did karate and football, too. And I liked being as rough as I could get away with. I had so much energy that I was just hard to control. So I got sent to military school when I was thirteen. I wasn't bad. I just probably needed a low dose of Ritalin, but I had old school parents. I figured out pretty early that I liked lording over those younger or smaller than me. I loved having control. Then when I joined the actual military, I didn't get exactly bumped down to the bottom since I was an officer, but I was still low on the totem pole. And I had this CO that was just a tough bitch-" 

“Oh,” I said in a teasing way, smiling up at him. “Let me guess. The older lady was into it?”

He nodded. "She wasn't that much older, really. Like five years. But she was into really violent sex. The first time that we fucked, it was the roughest, angriest sex that I've ever had. We were at a party for a mutual friend, and we were both drunk. We ended up alone somehow, and I ripped into her for being a hard ass to me. Just screamed in her face, called her every name I could think of, and almost slapped her. But then she kissed me. Begged me to fuck her right there in our friend's basement. And it was amazing. I had never felt more powerful than when I threw her down on those stairs, knowing someone could come in at any moment. Every time after that was dirtier than the last. I didn't understand limits then, but I certainly found a lot of my own. She wanted to go a lot farther than I was willing." 

“I’ve never found someone who was really willing to go further than I was prepared to try,” I admitted. “I mean, I’d probably try anything just about once with the right person. With a few exceptions.”

Jasper smiled a bit. “I hope that I can be that right person.”

“Me too.” 

His grin grew, taking my hand again. "What about you?" He asked in curiosity. "What got you into it?" 

I laughed awkwardly. "Well… Um…" I hummed as I thought about how to explain it to him. "I was always more of the parent with my mom, so when I had to live with Charlie, my dad, I was a total brat at the beginning. I didn't really know him. We didn't talk a lot. He was just this big, scary, authoritative stranger that I was forced to spend a week or two with a year." 

“And I take it that didn’t go well for you.”

Shaking my head, I glanced over at him shyly. "The first couple of weeks, he ignored it, but I mouthed off to him constantly. I was angry at everything and everyone. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore, and he spanked me. With a belt. I was sixteen. Probably only a month after I got there. I was too old for it, but I'm not sure he knew how else to deal with me. That's probably how his parents punished him, and he never had to before. Why bother when you're only going to deal with them once a year?" 

“So he was old school, too.” 

“Yeah, And,” I stopped, flushing crimson as I got more and more embarrassed. “I was horrified. Because I knew that wasn’t supposed to be how I reacted. I was supposed to be in pain, in tears. Maybe scared. But I wasn’t at all. I remember that I couldn’t move because I felt like he would know and be as disgusted with me as I was with myself. I didn’t want to feel those things because of my sperm donor.”

He rubbed my back gently. “That’s got to be awkward.” 

 "Oh, god. So fucking awkward. I made sure to never do anything remotely naughty again, so he never felt the need to," I laughed, looking down at my feet. "So, I guess that it was super effective as a form of punishment." 

“Sounds like it. You know, you’re not the first girl to tell me a story like that,” he said softly, rubbing my back again.  

“I know, but it’s embarrassing still. It’s pretty much Alice’s story, too. She was younger, though. It’s just that no one had ever struck me before and it was... instant. Anyway, my early writings got very focused after that.”

He took a step behind me, putting an arm around my waist. “What did you write about?” He asked smoothly in my ear. His voice was warm and sexy.

"Rude little girls who needed to be punished. It was always older male figures. Cops, teachers. The standard tropes. They were always caught doing something red-handed, and they needed to be taught lessons about respect. You've read some of them." 

Letting out a slow breath, he kissed the back of my earlobe. “How old were you when did your first scene?”

"I was almost out of college. I had my first vanilla boyfriend, and we did the conventional experimenting. Blindfolds, tying up, gentle spanking. But he was too scared to even try anal on me," I laughed at the cringeworthy memories. "But after we broke up, I decided I wanted to go further. So I got online and found some random guy. It wasn't that interesting of a scene, but it was an awakening. After that, I tried to have every experience that I could for years. Once my dad got sick though, I didn't really have time." 

"You haven't been with anyone for a while before we met?" He asked next. I shook my head. "Not since he died." I nodded, and he matched the action, obviously thinking to himself.  

“Yeah, I know. I have Daddy issues. I’m aware,” I smirked. “It just got to the point where it felt all meaningless because at first, it was always exciting, but the more I did it, the more I realized that most experiences are disappointing. I pretty much survived on Alice’s stories. Her perfect nights with her FBI guy.” 

“Does it bother you that I was with your friend before?”

“She’s your friend too,” I smiled. “You’ve known each other for years. No. I don’t mind. If I did, I wouldn’t have messaged you in the first place. You’re not the first man that we’ve both had sex with.”

He cleared his throat, his cheeks heating. “I know.” 

I tilted my head back to look at him. "I still think we should play with Alice together. Not soon, but someday. She wants to, and it would be a good way to start experimenting with others if you still want to."  

"Wow, my girlfriend of fewer than twenty-four hours is already suggesting threesomes. Why was I ever afraid of commitment?" He teased in my ear, leaning down to kiss it gently. I giggled, tipping my head back against his shoulder. "Yeah, not soon. We need to figure out how to do this thing first before we throw another person in the mix." 

"Mmhmm," I agreed, looking up at him as he hugged me from behind. "So, when was the last time you were with someone else? You know my history. I want to know more about yours." 

"About a month before I started talking to you. It was a friend I have that I met online. I just happened to be in Detroit, so we decided to play. It was fun. There was no extra spark like there is with us. As soon as we started talking, though, I gave you my full attention." 

“I miss when we used to chat every night,” I breathed.

“Me too.” He kissed my cheek several times. “I have to admit something. I’ve been kind of obsessed with you for years before we even spoke. When I told you that I’ve read all of your work, it was more than that.”

I turned to look at him. “Oh?”  

Jasper lowered his eyes as he blushed a little. "I started reading your stories a couple of years ago, and I quickly became fixated on them. Alice recommended your Marie Bell stuff because she does to everyone," he said, making us both smile, "and I read all of them in a very short amount of time. Maybe a month. Like eight novels and countless short stories. I barely slept. And as much as I adored the sex, I loved the plotlines. They were always unexpected and well written. I asked her if she had any other works by you because I needed more. And I've devoured everything. Even your sweet young adult books. Your imagination thrilled me. You could be so charming and innocent in one and uninhibited and adventurous in the next." His voice got lower, deeper, "and then I realized your imagination was housed inside this body." He ran his hand down my ribs. "I couldn't believe how lucky I was when you sent me that friend request. I knew you were in the scene, but I never imagined Alice would actually get you to text me. I never told her about my crush. I was so excited that I messaged you as soon as I saw it. And when we started talking, it felt like everything just clicked." 

I put my fingers on the back of his neck and brought him down to kiss me. His hands instantly went to my hips, pulling me to him. We kissed for a long time in front of a set of marble statues. Someone came into the room, so we slowly pulled apart. He was saying all the right things.  

“So, next question.” I took his hand and began to pull him along to the neighboring exhibit. “What would you like me to cook for dinner, Dr. Charming?”

“Special Agent,” he added cheekily. 

“Okay. Special Agent, Dr. Charming, what do you wanna eat?” I grinned wickedly. 

“Is this a trick question?” He teased right back. Playfully, Jasper winked at me, bringing our joined hands up to his mouth to kiss my knuckles. “Whatever you want, darlin. Today is all yours.”

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10/22/2019

Locke. Chapter Twenty-six: On Facebook Messenger

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Chapter Twenty-six: On Facebook Messenger


When I packed my bag to go to the hotel, I put my new skirt and blouse into it as well as a couple of pairs of pajamas. One was a long-sleeved black cotton nightgown while the other was the little red crop top and shorts. I couldn’t decide between being safe or being mean. I didn’t want to keep Jasper waiting, so I just shoved both in there along with any toiletries I needed that I could actually remember. I knew that I must have forgotten something, but I was in too much of a rush to care.
  
He took the tote out of my hands to carry when I came out of my bedroom. He was so eager to please me, and I loved it. Jasper had been a gentleman the entire night, opening doors and remembering all of his manners. I adored it for some reason.  

Putting his arm around me, we walked to his rental car. It was a very nice midnight blue BMW. He put my bag away, pulling the door open for me. Wrapping my fingers around his coat, I tugged him down for a kiss. It lasted for ten minutes longer than I expected, but I wasn’t mad about it.  

His room at The Adolphus was on the second floor in the far corner. He hadn’t even checked in before he came to my apartment. Jasper could carry all of his luggage and my bag easily in one trip. He had his packing down to a science and could do it with one arm. He held my hand with the other.  

When the bedroom lock clicked behind us, I felt the same thrill that I did the first time I was alone with him. I had no idea what was about to happen between us, but I was excited and not just for the evening. And I was ready. With my shoulders back and chin up, I watched as Jasper set his suitcase on the dresser along with my big blue tote bag before securing his gun in the safe. 

We watched each other for a minute, and he ducked his head a little first as he flushed. He began to take off his leather gloves. Pulling them off carefully at the end of his long fingers, I bit my lip as I watched. I missed his hands. After he removed his jacket, Jasper helped me out of my coat. Neatly, he hung up both in the closet. 

I felt stuck in place, but I couldn't look away from him. Everything was happening so fast, and I wanted to soak up every moment. He came to stand behind me, gently wrapping his arms around my waist. Lightly, he kissed my temple down to my cheek. Each was tender and lingering. Everything felt so familiar.  

"Mine," Jasper whispered against my ear. I smiled, and my heart thundered for a new reason.  

I turned to face him because I could, wrapping my arms around his waist in return. Gazing up at him, I replied, “mine.” If we were going to try this, we were going to be equals. If I was going to be his, he was going to be every bit mine. 

Jasper leaned down and kissed me almost reverently, his big hands going to my back. He slid one of them up my spine into my hair so that he could hold my mouth to his. Everything was so tender and passionate. When he pulled away, he gently dragged the tip of his nose along mine before pressing a kiss to my forehead. All I could hear was my heartbeat in my ears. 

"I don't know what to do now," he admitted quietly, his hand still on the back of my neck. I pulled back to look at him, our faces only inches apart. He seemed so nervous, his eyes downcast.  

“It’s getting late,” I laughed a little nervously, running my fingers over his cheeks. I could feel his five o’clock shadow rough against my fingers. “We could just go to sleep.”

“That’s probably the best idea,” Jasper agreed, smiling a little. He leaned down and gave me another kiss instead of letting me go. Neither of us wanted to. 

Finally, I reached for my bag. “I’ll go into the bathroom to change.”

“That’s probably wise as well,” he chuckled warmly, taking a step back. 

“I don’t suppose you’d mind unzipping me first?” I asked, turning to show him the back of my dress. Lifting my hair over my shoulder, he leaned down to kiss my neck from behind and wordlessly and slowly unzipped my dress. A wild shudder ran down my spine that literally made my shoulders wiggle. “Oh, oh, oh... okay,” I laughed again as I pulled away with what little self-control that I had left. Everything in my body wanted him to bend me over the nearest solid object. 

He chuckled once more to himself alluringly, the sound going straight between my thighs. “Sorry.”

No, he wasn’t. We both knew he wasn’t.  

“Snuggles, snuggles, snuggles,” I chanted to myself as I marched into the restroom. When I shut the door, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself down. My hands were shaking again. 

I knew if I put my mind to it, I could be stubborn enough to withstand all of his many charms. It would be a struggle, but I knew it would be worth it. And more fun in the end. 

 At first, I considered the more modest gown. It would send an unambiguous signal. Closed for business. But Jasper knew what he was doing to me with those kisses, and we both knew how weak my resolve was if he really put his mind to it. He enjoyed tempting me. It was only fair to torture him a little.  

Cleaning my face, I brushed my hair and teeth before putting on more perfume. Nervously, I applied strawberry chapstick. I did want more kisses at least. As many as he would give me. I reapplied my lotion to my arms and legs that Alice had gotten me earlier in the day, wanting to smell and feel as nice as possible. I wanted him to really experience the temptation.  

The red shorts were way too big on my hips. The string was knotted, and it took forever it get it undone so that I could tighten it into place. I turned to look at my ass in the mirror, wondering if he would still like it. It probably wouldn't take that long to gain all of my weight back once I started eating again. At dinner, we both indulged.  

When I couldn’t stall anymore, I came out of the bathroom. The room was dimly lit. Jasper was laying on the bed, in blue and black plaid sleep pants and a comfortable gray t-shirt. There was only the lamp beside him on. He had one arm behind his head as he waited for me, reading something on his phone. It was super close to his face, his eyes narrowed. When he looked up from the screen, his eyes got wider. 

“Oh, so this is my punishment,” he breathed as his eyes moved over my body. “I have to behave when you look like that?”

I nodded slowly, making him smile. “Do I need to change?” I asked, playing with the bow at the bottom of the shirt. 

“Please don’t,” he answered, his eyes lifting to mine. 

I crawled onto the bed a bit more confidently than I actually felt. His grin grew as he quickly tugged me over to him, pulling me to him for a kiss. I laughed happily against his mouth, stretching away from him playfully. When I laid beside him on my side, he instantly spooned me so that his whole body was pressed perfectly against mine. Humming in pleasure, I wrapped one of his arms around me tightly as I wiggled my ass to get more comfortable.

He whimpered against my shoulder and tried to shift his growing erection to the side. I reached behind me and adjusted his hip so that he was fully pressed up against me. "Oh, no. You have to sleep all night with that right there, knowing that you can't have it yet." And then I swirled my hips against him.  

“Oh, god!” He laughed at my teasing, hiding his face in my neck. “You are a cruel mistress. So, you want me to die of blue balls, too?”

"You ain't gonna die," I smirked. "You just might want to." I pressed as hard as I could against him, jiggling my ass in precisely the way that would turn him on more. I couldn't imagine how good the friction was because it was great for me. He whimpered again. "You said that you would take any punishment happily. Now suffer." I ground against him.  

"I guess that I'll just have to endure it," he purred against my neck. "Mistress." Then he ran his hand over my stomach very gently. His fingers moved just underneath the shirt, only an inch or so under my breast.  

The phone that was in his other hand dinged loudly three times in a row very quickly right behind my head. I knew the sound right away. It was on Facebook messenger. 

“Whoever it is can fuck right off,” I giggled, wiggling against him some more. I just wanted him to call me mistress some more and rub against him. 

He chuckled softly. Shifting so that his arm was under my neck, Jasper took his phone in his other hand to read it. I instantly missed his touch. He had to bring it up closer since he wasn’t wearing his glasses and it was quite dark in the room. I could see the screen perfectly since it was almost to my nose, though. The messages were all from Alice. 

“Hey! Have you made it in town yet?” I wasn’t surprised that she knew he was coming into Dallas. They were good friends. The next said, “what time were you planning to go see Bella?” My mouth dropped open a little. The final text was, “she’s so mad that she doesn’t want to hear your name and almost started crying at the pizza place. And she’s lost a bunch of weight, and I hate it! Bella looks so miserable. You better pull out all the stops. Seriously. You better fix this.”

I sat up quickly against the headboard. My head swam with anger. “That shady bitch knew that you were coming and didn’t warn me?! I’m going to smack that skinny ho so hard, she’s gonna-”

Jasper was laughing beside me at my reaction, still laying down. “Yeah, I’ve been talking to her about it. Especially in the last few days. She knew that I was going to see you, but I was planning to go tomorrow since it was so late. I couldn’t wait, though.”

I looked away as it dawned on me. “Oh! That’s why she got me new clothes and the skincare shit. And that’s why she was so insistent that I use it tonight. Son of a bitch.” I covered my face with both of my hands. “I looked like a fucking Pinterest-fail cupcake!” 

He chuckled, his face turning a little red as he rested his head on my thigh. Jasper obviously thought it was funny. I couldn’t imagine how wild I looked. I was not amused in the least. 

"You know what? Give me that." I took his phone out of his hands and quickly snapped a picture of my pissed off face while flipping her off. The title of the photograph was ‘next time, you better warn a bitch, or I will shank you.'"  

Her first message was “YES!” the next was quickly followed, “wait. Oh, shit. You didn’t kill him, did you? Did you shank him? And you just have his phone now? Do you need help to move the body?”

“She’d go to jail so quick,” Jasper snorted when he read the messages as it sat in my lap. 

"Isn't that the truth? She'd be so disappointed when she learned that it wasn't all bad cops and handcuffs." He laughed, then nodded. "He's not dead," I replied to Alice.  

It instantly beeped. “Send proof.”

I leaned my head back against the headboard, shaking my head a little. “She’s demanding proof,” I said coyly, showing him the screen. “I’ll send her a picture.” 

I could see the wickedness in his eyes and put it on video instead. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Okay, hold on,” he mumbled and tried his best to look like a corpse against my thigh. I gently flicked his nose, making him smile and laugh. I sent the very short clip to her right away before he knew what I was doing.

“What did you just send to her?” He laughed again, looking up at his phone. Jasper wasn’t mad though, just amused.  

“Aw! Are you in bed together? That’s so cute! I’m so pleased!” Alice answered after a moment. “He looks so happy!”

I bit my lip. It was hard not to smile even if I was annoyed at her. “I’m glad you’re happy because I’m going to ~spank~ you and you will not like it. I promise you.” 

His cell flashed in my hand just a second later. “Omg, sounds so hot. Let me know when you wanna punish me, Ma’am.” Then it flashed again. “I feel like we’re winners all around.” 

I just sighed at my best friend and handed Jasper back his phone with a shake of my head. “I’m gonna hurt her. Like, seriously.” 

“Can I watch?” He asked softly as he lightly kissed my thigh. He wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively. 

I got up on my knees so that I could hover over him for a moment. My breasts were just a few inches from his face, and I could tell he wanted to reach forward but resisted.  

“It’s not going to be a good kind of pain,” I swore, reaching over him to turn off the light.  

“Are you trying to turn me on?” He smirked, his hand sliding from my shoulders to the small of my back. He knew better than to touch my ass yet. If he did, I would have changed into the grandma gown in a second.  

“I’m not trying. I’m succeeding.” I stopped to look down at his tented sleep pants. I finally switched off the lamp before shifting down beside him so that he could spoon me again. He instantly obliged. 

“Thank you for coming here tonight,” he said against my ear. “You don’t know how much better I’m going to sleep tonight with you in my arms.”

I hummed quietly, tilting my head to the side to lightly kiss his cheek. “I like being your teddy bear.”

He yawned quietly against my back, leaning his forward against my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m so tired.” 

“It’s okay,” I promised, pulling his arm around me tightly. “We can talk more in the morning.”

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10/19/2019

Locke. Chapter Twenty-five: On Your Knees

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Chapter Twenty-Five: On Your Knees


Jasper waved the server over quickly. "I'd like another martini. And we'd like to start with a cheese platter. Thanks." When the young man left, he whispered, "don't drink too fast, darlin." 

“And I thought you wanted to get me drunk,” I teased, taking another sip of my wine to make a point. I could already feel it, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. Liquid courage seemed like a good thing at the moment. 

“I don’t want you to get sick,” he said worriedly. 

“I won’t,” I promised. Looking directly at him, I took another swallow, which made him smirk and roll his eyes. 

He looked away in mild embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be controlling.” Jasper took a big drink of his own wine but made a face at it. I don’t think he liked it very much. I did. It was sweet and easy to drink. 

I couldn’t help my giggle. Biting my lip, I looked down at our joined hands. “I know it’s because you care. It’s okay.”  

“It is.” His thumb ran over my knuckles. Jasper swallowed heavily, obviously anxious. “Um, can we talk about the elephant in the room?”

“Which one?” I snorted quietly. 

Smirking a little at my attitude, he squeezed my hand. He glanced up at me for only a moment before ducking his head. “The one where I said that I love you and you said thank you. I mean, you could have told me to fuck off, so that’s better than the many possible alternatives. You’re here, which is amazing.”

I laughed a little. “Um, I was actually saying 'thank you' for the flowers. I didn’t know what to say to the other part,” I admitted. “I was too surprised.”

“I can understand that.”

Looking away from him, I brought my other hand to my mouth to warily chew on my thumbnail. I could feel the heat crawling up my neck as I even had the thought. “Until that night, I wasn’t even sure that you wanted to be seen in public with me.”

He looked hurt by my words. “Why?”

“Because we never did anything out-”

“Because I was selfish,” he whispered back fiercely, leaning into me. “I didn’t want to share you with anyone else. I wanted every second of time possible with you, alone. The idea of wasting even a minute…” He sat back in a little in his chair and shook his head. “And then Dr. Bitey showed up,” Jasper stopped and shook his head again, taking a big gulp of his pink wine. He finished his glass. “I realized that night that I was in love with you. I am so glad that we didn’t go through with that. It wasn’t the right time, and neither of us was ready.”

Playing my napkin, I nodded. “You’re right. We weren’t.” I looked up at him, finally. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Jasper rubbed the back of his neck with his fingers, staring at the table. "I knew that I couldn't commit to you the way you deserved. I didn't want to tie you down to… a concept. Because that's all that it would have been. I could say that I was your man, but if I couldn't be there when it mattered-" He paused abruptly. There was shame in the way he spoke. "I knew that it would be unfair to you." 

“It would have been more than a concept.”

He sighed. “No. It wouldn’t. You were right. You are worth more than two nights a month. I tried to convince myself that I could keep my feelings to myself and just have a sexual relationship with you. I wanted to pretend that I could just be selfish with your body. That was a terrible mistake,” Jasper mumbled, looking up to the ceiling. “I’m such a fool.”

“I wanted you to be selfish. You made me feel more beautiful and confident than I ever have before. Even when we weren’t…” I trailed off. The waiter brought Jasper’s next martini. 

“You are more than beautiful. You’re-” Jasper took a deep breath. “Everything. Will you let me try to earn your love?” He asked as he picked up my hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the top gently. I slowly nodded my head, making him smile. It was genuine and warm, his cheeks heating slightly. He steeled himself again, taking another breath before starting once more. “Thank you. I’m not stupid enough to think that I deserve it and I know that it’ll take time to-”

“I love you, too,” I interrupted his rambling. I may have never said the exact words to myself, but I knew that’s what I had been feeling for months as well. “It wouldn’t have hurt that much if I didn’t.”

His smile got so big, his whole face lit up. Jasper leaned over, quickly pulling me into a kiss. Even when the server brought our cheese plate, he didn’t stop. His fingers curled around the back of my neck, holding my mouth to his. He was sweet and tender, grinning the entire time. When he pulled away, he kissed my forehead so that his lips pressed hard against it for a long time. 

"Really?" He asked against it, making me giggle happily. When I nodded, he grinned. Finally, he sat back in his chair again. "Wow, okay. Good. That's great." Jasper kind of laughed to himself excitedly. "Okay. Um, you should eat." He waved his hand to the platter.  

I laughed at his dopiness. “Really? We just started dating, and you're already bossing me around?" I quipped lightly.  

Chuckling as well, he put his face in his hands. “No. I’m sorry. I’m just-” He laughed almost nervously. “I’m just thrilled. Don’t mind me.” He pushed his hair out of his eyes. It had obviously been a while since he was able to get a haircut. “Uh, so we’re dating?” 

I picked up a candied pecan and put it in my mouth. "Ummm… This better be a fucking date, or I'll be pissed. Then I would actually destroy you." 

He threw his head back in laughter. “Don’t worry, Miss. This is definitely a date.”

“Okay. Good,” I smirked, reaching for his hand again. “So, what are you getting? I’m torn between the half chicken or the filet with mushrooms.”

Jasper looked back at the menu, only glancing for a second. “Actually, me too.”

I hummed quietly, bringing his hand up to my cheek as I leaned into it. “Want to get one of each and split it?”

His face absolutely lit up again. “Perfect. Yeah, that would be great.” 

After dinner, we went to a park that was within walking distance of the apartment. It was in the upper forties, but it wasn’t windy. We held hands under the dark moonless sky, totally alone. We both had too much nervous energy to sit still. So, we just had the car drop us off there. 

“Are you going to be down for Christmas?” I asked curiously. “I guess serial killers don’t take days off.”

“Not usually, no. But I did take a few days off for Christmas Eve and Christmas. I was planning on coming down and spending some time with my family, one way or the other. What about you?” He looked down at me. “What have you got going on?”

“I don’t have any plans,” I answered quietly. 

He stopped to look at me. “You won’t be alone.”

I leaned into him, and he put his arms around me. "It won't be my first one alone, and it probably won't be my last. It's just another day." 

“You can come with me. I mean, if it’s not too soon. If you want to. If you don’t want to spend it with my family, we can-”

I stopped him with a kiss. “I won’t take you away from your family. I don’t know,” I admitted to him. “Let me think about it. Alice invited me to her parents, too. They’re the closest that I got to family now. I really haven’t been in the Christmas spirit, honestly.” 

“Me either, but I want to spend at least part of the day with you no matter what. If that’s okay with you.”

The first time in a long time, I was excited about a holiday. Thanksgiving passed with no notice from me. “I’d like that. So, next month?”

“January twenty-first,” he nodded with a slight smile. “Someone is retiring. It’s a bit of a bump in pay too, which is nice. It’s a great bonus. It’s a small step up that I wasn’t expecting to get yet.”

“That’s good! And that’ll give you time to find a place to live. Do you know what you want? A house or an apartment?” I asked in curiosity. I hadn’t looked for a new home since college. I loved my place. 

“Apartment for sure. I was rather hoping that you’d help me find it, actually.” He looked at me nervously. 

We began to walk again. I hummed as I leaned my head against his shoulder. "Sure. I don't mind helping you with that. You'll just have to give me some basics of what you want, and I'm sure that I can get you a list of good options. You can tell me which ones you like the best, and I'll check them out in person for you." 

“Oh… Let’s see. Um, two-bedroom.” He shook his head before shrugging. “Besides that, I don’t really care about anything else. Whatever you like.”

I laughed in surprise. “It won’t be my home, though.”

"Mm," he thought for a moment before shrugging again. "But it'll only be mine when you're there. Otherwise, it's just a place to sleep. So, pick what you like. Actually, that goes for the inside, too. Let me have a say in the mattress, and you can have my credit card and do whatever you like." 

I laughed louder. “That is a terrible idea! You’ve seen my apartment! It’s a hot mess.”

“Darlin, I have lived in a hotel or a military barrack for almost the past two decades. I couldn’t give less of a damn about what the window-dressing looks like. The only thing that matters right now is you.” 

Drawing away, I spun on my heels to face him. “Damn, you are charismatic, you know that?”

Jasper shrugged his shoulders almost bashfully. “I’m just telling you the truth.”

“What will happen when you move down here?” I asked abruptly. “How do we do this? I don’t know how.” 

He licked his lips, considering it for a moment. “I suppose we date like the vanillas.”

I laughed softly. “How does that work?” 

“Ma’am, I’m sorry to inform you, but I am a novice in that particular field of expertise,” he said puckishly, making me laugh a little more. “I should just start apologizing now for all the ways that I know that I’m going to fuck this up in the future. But I want this with you.”

“I do too.” He took a step towards me, pulling me towards him. He kissed me deeply, bending me back a little with his sweet passion. When we pulled apart, I laid my face against his chest, my heart pounding like a drum against my breast. “Ugh,” I laughed at myself, closing my eyes as I enjoyed the high. “I’m so easy. Dammit.”

Chuckling, he brought me as tightly as he could against him. “Yeah, you really should make this harder on me,” he cheekily stated into my hair before kissing the top of my head. “I am willing to work for it.” 

I nodded solemnly. “Yeah, I really should have you get on your knees and beg a little,” I remarked dryly. 

Jasper went down to his knees in front of me. I instantly began to laugh loudly as he took both of my hands. "I wholeheartedly ask for your forgiveness. Please permit me the privilege to right all of my many mistakes fully and properly." Then he began to kiss my knuckles, each slowly and gently while he held my gaze. "I am not worthy of the precious gifts of your time or energy, but I will do whatever I can to appease your rightful anger, and I will accept any punishment you give me, happily."  

“You are so hot right now,” I whispered just as a jogger went past. She actually stopped to look at us, probably wondering if Jasper was proposing. “Keep going!” I told her rudely, making him laugh. He pressed his face into my stomach to hide it. I ran my fingers through his hair, hugging him to me a little. “Oh, my god. Okay.” I took a deep breath to calm myself down, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “Please don’t ruin your suit,” I giggled. 

“Ha, okay. Remind me not to tell you where I spent yesterday,” he mumbled as he began to kiss my stomach through the dress. His hands wrapped around my back under my coat. “I will get on my knees for you whenever or wherever you wish.”

Taking his face in my hands, I leaned down and captured his lips in a fiery kiss. He held my cheek, rubbing his thumb over it gently. It was delicious, perfect, and slow. 

“Yeah, I’m going to make you regret saying that,” I smiled wickedly against his mouth when he pulled away.  

“You can try, little girl,” he teased as he stood, picking me up in his arms and spinning me around for a moment before he brought me to him for another kiss. “Bella, I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I smiled. When he kissed me again, it left me perfectly dizzy. 

We finally walked back to my apartment, the night getting to be too cold to handle in a dress. I wasn't ready for the evening to end, but I needed to be honest with him. I felt it build the entire stroll home.  

“I’m not ready to have sex with you again,” I blurted out as soon as I closed the front door behind us. I shut my eyes, embarrassed with myself. “I don’t know when I will be. Or when I will be ready to do another scene.”

“I know!” He assured me quickly. Jasper stepped forward to put a hand on my shoulder comfortingly. “I wouldn’t expect you to be. I’m just happy going to bed in the same county as you again.”

I bit my lip. He was being so sweet. Now that I had him again, I wasn’t ready to let go. “You don’t have to go to bed alone if you don’t want to. But just sleep and snuggles.”

“I’d love that,” he beamed. “That would be great. And in the morning, we could go to breakfast. Then we can spend the day doing whatever you want.”

“Don’t you want to get some rest?” I pulled on his jacket, tugging him closer to me. “I know you have to be tired.”

“No,” he shook his head, his shaggy blond hair falling over his forehead. “I want to take my girlfriend out and make her happy.” 


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10/17/2019

Locke. Chapter Twenty-four: Anywhere You Like

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Chapter Twenty-four: Anywhere You Like 


He loved me.

We stared at each other in silence for a second before my timer went off loudly in my robe pocket, scaring me. I laughed nervously, putting my hand on my heart before turning it off. I closed my eyes for a minute, trying to focus. 

"Should I just leave?" He worriedly asked. I shook my head slowly, taking a step towards him. I took the roses finally, bringing them up to smell.  

“Thank you,” I whispered, blushing bright red. “Um… I need to take a shower to wash this stuff off.”

Jasper nodded his head quickly. “Okay. I’ll wait,” he promised. 

I put them down on the coffee table so that I could step closer to him. He brought his hands up to touch me but stopped, dropping them to the sides. He wasn’t going to until I allowed him to do so. I smiled to myself, straightening his tie. When I brought my hand up to his cheek, his eyes sank closed in pleasure as he leaned into my fingers. When I ran my thumb over his lips, he pecked it. 

"Last time, you didn't kiss me, and it broke my heart," I stated in a hushed tone. "I need you to know that."  

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t. If I did, I couldn’t keep control. I should have. I’m sorry,” he breathed regretfully, his eyes still closed. “I did everything wrong that night.” 

Hopeful, I looked up at him as my fingers wrapping around the lapels of his coat. He peered down at me adoringly even though I looked like a cartoon character. “Are you going to make up for it now?”

Jasper scooped me up in his arms, bringing me into a savage kiss. I could see in his eyes as he realized that there was something amiss. 

“What’s on your lips?” He asked, pulling back swiftly. “Is that sugar?” 

“It’s a scrub. Don’t worry, you’re supposed to eat it,” I answered. 

“Oh.” He nodded his head. “Okay. Good.” He kissed me again. I giggled against his mouth. He kissed me until there was none left, slowly putting me back down to my feet. 

“Okay. I’m going to wash off now. I’ll be right back,” I said breathlessly, finally stumbling away from him. 

He smiled happily. There were little green smears on his cheeks. “Don’t rush. Take your time. I’d wait forever.” 

Grabbing his tie, I pulled him to me for another kiss. I pouted for a second because I didn't want to let go, but then I sighed and reached for the remote. Handing it to him, I tugged on his jacket gently again. "This might actually take a while. I wasn't expecting guests." 

Jasper chuckled softly. “Clearly. It’s okay. You’re worth the wait. Can I take you to a late dinner, so we can talk some more? Or just have drinks. Whatever you want.”

“Dinner sounds good. I’m actually pretty hungry.” 

I turned the water on in my shower as hot as I could, quickly washing my face first. The hair mask took a long time to get out, though. I used shampoo after, adding conditioner while I scrubbed my body and shaved. I hadn't in a month, and I was turning into a werewolf. My hands were trembling for the first ten minutes until the water helped to calm me down.  

When I finished, I didn’t want to walk out looking like a drowned rat. My appearance was crazy enough when he arrived. So I blow-dried my hair. When the mirror defogged, I realized how sickly I appeared. I quickly tried to put on natural-looking makeup. Once again, I wrapped back up in my robe. 

"I'll be out in just a second," I promised before rushing to my room. I still couldn't look at him, and I didn't even give him time to answer.  

There was a pile of clean clothes on my bed from earlier in the day. I shoved it in the corner of my closet. I decided on one of the new outfits, spraying it down with perfume in the hopes that it was clean enough. It was a knee-length dress with three-quarter sleeves. It was a simple black with a white peter pan collar. It was very mod. I decided on my red heels. They felt powerful for some reason that I couldn't explain, and I wanted the confidence.  

I slowly came out of my room. I couldn't bring myself to lift my eyes from the floor, too nervous. Jasper stood swiftly, turning off the television. He had removed his coat and gloves, still in his suit jacket. He was actually wearing his gun holster as well. I could see it under his blazer as he moved. He must have come directly from work.  

Just looking at him made me feel warm. Rushing over to the table, I reached for the roses. “I really should put these in water. They’re so beautiful. I haven’t gotten flowers in years,” I began to ramble. When I straightened up, he reached for my hand to stop me.  

"Are you okay?" He worriedly asked.  

I didn’t meet his eyes, just looking at the roses. “Yeah. Why?”

His hand moved over my side, shaking his head. “You look lovely.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. I hid my face in the flowers for a moment.  

“Bella, look at me, please,” he begged quietly, his hand squeezing my waist. I finally met his eyes. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Swallowing heavy, I replied. “I’m sorry that I slapped you.” 

Jasper shook his head quickly once more, his hand squeezing me again. "I deserved it for going through with that when I knew it was wrong. I hated myself, but I missed you too much. I should have just talked to you. I kept expecting you to safeword before, but you didn't. I wanted you to. I wanted you to call me out. I feel like a monster." He looked down at the flowers to avoid my eyes. "I am so ashamed of myself." 

"I was there because I chose to be. Because I wanted to be there. I could have stopped you, but it was my punishment. I accepted it." 

“Punishment. For what?” He whispered, his voice pained. 

I laughed hollowly, bringing the bouquet back up to my nose. “For allowing myself to open up.”

"No," he said swiftly. "I led you on. Especially that night. That was a date. I knew what it was, and I even planned it that way and tried to pretend it wasn't. Because that's what I wanted it to be. But if I wasn’t really your boyfriend, I wouldn't have to feel guilty for not being here ninety-nine percent of the time. For ignoring you." 

Slowly, I shook my head. “Your job is so important.”

“It is, but I don’t have to travel as I do. I chose to do that because I didn’t want to settle down and I’ve never been good at sitting still. I’ve never had a reason to want to come home to the same place every night. But you know, I can still do my job right here.” Jasper nodded his head firmly when he was done speaking. Like doing so would make his decision final. 

“So, I’m a reason to come home?” I asked with a slight smirk. Honestly, I just wanted to see what he would say. 

He kissed my temple gently, putting his forehead on mine. “The best one.”

Smiling to myself, I slowly pulled away before going towards the kitchen with the flowers. We had several vases to pick from. Jasper followed behind to watch. He leaned against the doorway with his hands in his pockets. 

“What would you like for dinner?” 

“Anything you want. I’ll take you wherever you like,” he instantly promised. 

Smirking a little wickedly I decided to tease him. “I’m half tempted to be mean and say the most expensive place in the city, then.”

"Do it," Jasper said right away. "In fact, let me look up a list of the most expensive places in Dallas for you." He pulled out his phone, making me laugh. Quickly, Jasper typed into Google, lifting his finger. "Let's see. The most costly place is called Frank. Not Frank's, just Frank," he began, his voice trying to be serious, but I could see his playfulness. He was trying to keep everything as light as possible.  

“Is it fancy hot dogs?” I inquired coyly as I got the water. He chuckled. 

“And apparently there is a lottery to eat there,” he mumbled as his eyes got wider. “So, not tonight. Fearing’s is next. We’re skipping that simply because of the name.” I laughed a little louder as I reached for the scissors to trim off the ends to make the stems fit. “Ah, Nobu.”

“And what’s that?” 

“Sushi.”

“Hm,” I hummed, arranging the flowers carefully. 

He was eager to please me, so he continued. "Next up is Nick and Sam's. Steakhouse and sushi. And then there is The French Room. Oh, which just happens to be at the hotel that I'm staying at." 

“Which is?”

“The Adolphus.” 

Finishing, I threw the trash away before washing my hands. I finally walked to him again and pulled on his tie a little. “I bet that’s obnoxiously expensive and stuffy.”

He put his arm around my waist, smiling down at me. “I’m sure, but if that’s what you want.”

Scrunching up my nose, I shook my head. “French might be good, though. Maybe you should look that up instead.”

He nodded his head quickly. “Yeah, okay. I can do that.” He put his hand on my hip, gently patting it as he typed into his phone. “Let’s see. Toulouse’s?” 

“I’ve never heard of it.” I turned slightly so that my back was against his chest, reading his phone. Jasper pulled me tightly to him and began to kiss my neck. I nervously laughed and slipped away from him. 

“Sorry.” He ducked his head and blushed.

“We should just talk first.”

He hesitantly reached for my hand, and I took it. "Right. You're absolutely right. Toulouse's?" 

"Sure. Why don't I order us a car, so neither one of us has to drive?" I offered. "I think we'll both need drinks." 

“That’s a great idea! I’ll-”

I put my other hand on his chest. “No. I’ll get it.”

"Okay," he smiled stiffly. Jasper didn't like it, but he was going to accept it. "But I'm getting dinner." 

Moving my hand up to his jaw, I ran my fingers over it slowly as I smirked to myself. “Okay. Thank you.”

He walked behind me as I went to get the rest of my things. I ordered the car before I retrieved my purse. Jasper helped slip on my jacket, gently pulling my hair out from underneath the collar. Almost as if he couldn’t help himself, he hugged me from behind and kissed my temple again.

“Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?” I teased. 

“Both?”

I giggled. “You might want to put that away, Major.” 

He cleared his throat. "Probably. I came pretty much straight from the airport, and I forgot all about it. I have a special permit to wear it on the plane," he explained in a rush. Jasper went to his rental car, and it put it in a locked briefcase in his trunk.  

As soon as we got in the taxi, there was an alert on my phone. There was another body. I looked at him as he read it over my shoulder. He sighed heavily, pressing a kiss to my temple again and letting it linger.  

“Do you have to leave?” I whispered. 

He licked his bottom lip. “Not tonight. In a couple of days. The position that I’ve put in for opens up next month. I’m sorry. I should have told you that already. There is so much I have to tell you.”

“Why are you in town?”

Jasper shrugged his shoulders. "I took some personal days. I haven't been back since, and I've been working eighteen-hour days," he breathed, the exhaustion clearly written in violet under his light azure eyes.  

“How is the case going? I obviously still follow all the alerts. It’s so scary to think that there are people like this out there. How many are there now? Possibly over thirty?”

He nodded before leaning his head back against the seat as he closed his eyes tightly. “Nothing feels close enough. I feel like there is some tiny missing piece that we just don’t see. We just need that little something. Some scrap of paper or a name. Or Something,” he repeated in frustration. “But we can barely finish processing a crime scene before there is another. And another.”

“How are you handling it?” I took his hand and wrapped my fingers around it. He squeezed tightly. 

Smiling a little, he said, “not well, I have to admit. I keep having nightmares. I see these dead little girls in my dreams every night. Or you. It’s worse when it’s you though because you always start off alive and I’m always too late. And I watch you-” He stopped, closing his eyes again. “I obviously need a vacation.”

“You should try to take one once you get settled in your new position,” I commented hopefully, clasping his palm tighter. I brought my other hand to our joined ones and began to trace his knuckles. 

“Take a couple of weeks off and go absolutely nowhere?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“That would be perfect if I could spend it with you. Alone. I don’t care where.” He laid his head against mine. “I’m so tired, Bella. And all I can think about is you. How much I miss you and need you. And I couldn’t even message you because I knew after what I did, I needed to be a man and-”

“Shh,” I hushed him quietly. He didn’t need to get too emotional in the back of the car. Quickly, I kissed his lips for just a moment. I felt him melt against me.  

It was just before eight, and it wasn't that busy. We were taken right away to a small table. He sat as close to me as he could, holding my hand on the tabletop.  

“So, obviously, you need to order the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu,” he teased, making me giggle. 

“I’ll just start with the glass,” I smirked, making him chuckle. 

When the waiter came to the table to take our drink orders, Jasper ordered his regular dirty martini with extra olives. I ordered a glass of rose. 

“Go ahead and bring her the bottle,” he told the waiter.

“Going to drink some pink wine with me?” I joked when he left. 

He shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll try a glass. So, tell me how you are. What have you been doing?”

I shook my head, looking down at our linked hands. His thumbs kept rubbing circles over the top. “Nothing.” I laughed a little sarcastically. “I left the house for the first time on Thursday, actually. I had my annual checkup. Good news. I’m definitely not pregnant and STD free. Go me.”

Jasper sighed as he rubbed his other hand over his mouth. “Have you been sick?” I shook my head. “You’ve lost a considerable amount of weight in a very short amount of time.” I shrugged, taking a sip of my water. “Have you been eating?”

“Yes, sir,” I laughed again, this time extremely condescendingly. “Everything has tasted like ash, so I’ve been living off these cheap premade salads and fruit. I figured that if nothing was good, I might as well eat healthily. Apparently, this is what happens when I stop eating cake and drinking sodas.” I waved my hand down at my stomach. “And Edward has been trying his best to keep me hydrated for some reason. He keeps bringing me glasses of water and telling me to drink them in front of him.”

“He told me off in a rather colorful email,” he whispered. “That night.”

“Really?” I asked in surprise. He nodded, smirking a little. “He’s been really nice to me lately. It makes me feel a little bad for being mean to him. Just a little though, because I know he enjoyed it.”

Snorting, he looked away as the waiter brought our drinks. He poured me a glass before leaving. Jasper took a long sip of his martini before he popped an olive into his mouth. 

“He’s not a terrible guy, just a prick.” 

I giggled, taking a sip. “I guess there was a reason that I was attracted to him in the first place.”

Jasper finished his martini quickly. “I hate that so much.”
“What? That I liked him?” He nodded his head. He poured me some more wine and put some into his own glass.

“I’m not worried about you. It’s him. He could literally give you everything that you want, whenever you want. And he works five days a week, maybe eight hours a day. Nose jobs rarely go into the night. He could give you everything that you deserve. And though I’m making good money, he’s going to be a-”

I bristled at his words. “Do you think I care about that? About his money?”

“No,” he replied. “You have to admit that he makes sense for you.” 

“Uh, why would I let him do whatever he wants with me, probably doing the actual bare minimum for me, then listen to him bang his model girlfriend? That doesn’t sound appealing.”

He took a little sip of his wine. “Mm, I don’t think it would be like that. Honestly, you could own his ass now. I don’t think he’s ever been turned down before, and he sees you as a worthy challenge. He’d do whatever you wanted if it meant he got closer to his own goal.”

“Oh.” I bit my lip. “Switching with him. That’s a thought. He’d never do that.” I laughed evilly. “I’d destroy him.” 

“Will you destroy me when it’s my turn?” He asked in a low voice. I shook my head slowly, smirking just a little. “Will I get a turn?”

“Do you want one?” I questioned quietly. He squeezed my hand before nodding. “We’ll see.”

“Whatever you want to do. You’re in charge now. I will do whatever you desire. On whatever timetable you wish. Until I earn back your trust,” Jasper promised.


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10/15/2019

Locke. Chapter Twenty-three: Indisposed

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Chapter Twenty-three: Indisposed 


For the first week, I didn’t talk to anyone. I refused to. Alice spoke to Jasper first and tried to contact me in several ways. When she finally called Tanya and threatened to come over, I just asked her to give me time. I didn’t know how long it would take, but my heart was having trouble still beating while just laying in bed in the dark. I didn’t have the energy to eat or even really bathe. Holding a conversation was beyond my capability. 

The second week, I at least wrote. I poured all of my emotions into work. I was determined to finish my cop story. Somehow, I had to get it out of my head. I had to get him out. I needed to get rid of his memory. By the end of the week, my bruises were all but gone. There were just slight smudges of yellow and sickly green. I avoided looking in the mirror at all costs. 

I left the house for the first time after three weeks when I had a doctor's appointment. Grocery delivery was the best thing in the world, I had learned. I almost canceled it, but Tanya found out about it when I got the postcard reminder in the mail and insisted that I go. She got Edward in on the act, telling me as a doctor, I should and- 

I agreed to go, just to shut them up.

Edward had, at least, in that time mellowed out and started to treat me like a human instead of an object he wanted to bang. He kept his comments to himself about my appearance as well, though that was probably because I looked like hell. He kept bringing me glasses of water like he didn’t know what else to do. I had a collection on my nightstand. 

The appointment went just fine. In fact, I had lost thirty pounds since the last time that I went to the doctor six months before when I had a stomach bug. I wasn't surprised in the least. My appetite had all but disappeared, and I began to mainly live off of fresh fruit and prepared salads because I didn't have the energy to cook. Everything tasted bad to me anyway. The only thing that I could really stomach was lemon ginger tea.  

Alice insisted that we go to lunch the Saturday after. It was the first time that I hadn't just put on sweatpants in almost a month, and everything I tried fell off. None of my jeans fit. I finally put on a dress that I had in the back of my closet that was probably a decade old and two sizes too small. It fit fine, but I felt stiff in it. I didn't feel pretty, I felt empty.  

When I got to the Mellow Mushroom, Alice had a beer waiting for me. Her eyes got huge. 

“Whoa,” she said quietly. 

“Hello to you, too,” I mumbled. There were already breadsticks on the table. My stomach twisted at the thought. If I hadn’t had my period a few days before, I would have worried that I was pregnant. 

“You look… different. Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m perfectly healthy,” I frowned. She already knew about me going to the doctor and all the results. 

"Okay, well, you look great. You've lost a ton of weight! Have you been working out?" I shook my head slowly, and she frowned. Alice lifted her hand and waved the server over. "Hi, can we get a large ham and pepperoni thin crust with extra cheese, half with mushrooms." 

“Yes, ma’am!” The girl declared quickly, fluttering off.

“Jasper is-” Alice began. 

“I don’t want to hear his name ever again,” I said calmly. 

She sighed. “Well, the FBI guy is pretty miserable too, if it makes you feel any better.”

"It doesn't. He was clear about what he wanted from me, and I ruined a good thing." 

Alice took a sip of her cocktail, picking up a breadstick. “He says he panicked and didn’t know what to say to you.”

"He panicked and decided to use me as his personal sex toy instead of talking to me?" I seriously asked. I shook my head. "No. It doesn't matter. If he had something to say to me, he could. He still could. But he's a coward. Who am I kidding anyway? I was probably just one of a dozen women that he has scattered out in all the places that he goes regularly." 

“No,” she retorted immediately. “You know him better than that.”

“I thought that I did.”

“Jasper misses you!”

“Stop it!” I hissed. I drank half my beer in one angry go. “It doesn’t matter. Can we please just talk about anything else?”

“Fine,” she sighed. “Did you want to come to my parents’ for Christmas? They invited you, like always.”

I looked away. That was a couple of weeks away. “I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t know if I’ll be up to it. Let me think about it.”

She nodded slowly, reaching for my hand. “Okay,” my friend pouted. “If you’re not, it’s okay. I’ll come to you after and bring you food. I’ll just tell them that you’re sick with the flu or something.”

“Thanks,” I laughed at how willing she was the lie to her family. “How’s school going?”

"I am so glad that it's the last week of the year. I'm so fucking tired," she began and away she went. I hardly had to speak for the rest of our lunch.  

After we ate, she refused to let me just go home. Instead, she took me out shopping. I had little interest, but she kept finding clothes for me. She forced me to try on several dresses, shirts, and skirts. When I refused to buy anything, even if I agreed that they did look nice on me, she bought me a new dress, a blouse and a skirt on her store credit card. She said it had a good coupon and got points, shoving the bag at me. 

Then she took me next door to the beauty supply store. There she didn’t even pretend that it wasn’t just for me. She started picking things out and putting them in the basket. I allowed her to drag me along, mainly commenting on which scents that I liked the most. By the time we left, she had gotten me some hair, skin, and lip masks, along with nose strips, too. And she topped it off with a sweet-smelling lotion.

She helped me bring all of it into the apartment. Tanya was away for the night, staying at Edward’s. They had gone back to their usual horny selves and had become respectful enough to not fuck around me, at least. 

My best friend took me by my shoulders. "Now, look at me. You are going to use all of these! Do you understand me? You are going to go march into that bathroom and pamper yourself. You're going to do some self-care and feel refreshed. And if you don't, I will know, and I will come here and spank you myself!" 

I genuinely laughed quietly for the first time in what felt like months. “Fine.”

“I’ll have Tanya check for me tomorrow. Don’t test me,” she said as she pointed her tiny finger in my direction.

“You’re not at all threatening,” I smirked, shaking my head. 

She waved her hand in my face. “Just do it! Alright, I need to go. I’ve got to get up early tomorrow for church, and I have some stuff to do first.” Alice huffed loudly. It was her father’s first service as the pastor of the church. She didn’t want to go but was any way for her daddy.  

“Tell him good luck for me, and I’ll come to see him soon. And thanks for today. You’re a good friend.”

Playfully, my best friend winked before slipping out the door. 

I sat on the couch and stared at the bag of goodies for a long time. There wasn't anything else that I wanted to do. I wasn't really in the mood to write. So, after I hung up my new clothes, I stripped and put on my silky blue robe.  

In the bathroom, I scrubbed my face clean first. The hair mask was supposed to sit the longest, so I put it on first. It was hot neon pink, a thick heavy clay. I had my hair piled on top of my head in a bun. Next was the nose strip. It was rainbow-themed. The face cream that Alice had selected was slimy green, unsurprisingly since it was avocado, green tea, and aloe. My lips were last. It was sugar scrub with vanilla in it. You were supposed to let it sit for ten minutes before you rubbed it in and licked it off.  

Everything should have been ready to come off at once. I set a timer on my phone. 

There was a gentle tap at the front door. Slowly picking up my phone, I walked to it. People rarely knocked on doors anymore, and I wasn't in a condition to talk to a salesperson or a Jehovah's Witness. I looked out the peephole and gasped loudly.  

Jasper was standing there in a full dark suit, his long black wool trench coat going to his knees. In his gloved hands was a large bouquet of roses. And he looked beautiful. 

Opening the door just a tiny crack, he took a step forward but realized it wasn’t going to open anymore. “Um, hi,” he said, trying to peek inside. 

“Jasper?”

“Bella! Hi! Um… Can- Can I please talk to you? I- I really… I’m- Please?” He begged in a way that I had never heard him speak before. It was tiny and nervous, almost frightened. 

“You’ve ignored me for a month-” I began. 

He put his hand on the door frame. "I wasn't. I was scared, and I knew that I couldn't do this over the phone. Please? Will you at least open the door? I realize that I don't deserve even that, but I want to at least try to-" He stopped, taking an exhaling breath. "Please?" 

I swung it open, and he took a literal step back in surprise as his eyes registered my appearance. "Well, come in," I snapped, waving my hand inside. He ducked his head and walked past me quickly.  

“I have imagined this going a thousand ways, and not one of them started like this,” he mumbled to himself. 

I laughed angrily, crossing my arms over my chest. “All of this shit comes off in a few minutes. So, you have until then. Better talk fast.”

Jasper steeled himself, licking his bottom lip as he looked away from me for a moment. He closed his eyes, his face down. “I’m sorry. I am worthless for making you feel this way. I want you to know that everything you said that night was true. You don’t deserve this. You deserve so much more than me. And you deserve way more than two nights a month.” 

He paused, taking another breath. "And that's why I didn't tell you how I felt after the movies and why I didn't say anything after. Because you deserve more than what I can give you. And I tried to convince myself that you're better off without me and that, maybe, hurting you, so you could move on, was the right thing. But it wasn't. It was cruel and weak. And I will regret that for the rest of my life," he began to tear up a little, and he looked away again, his voice low and intense.  

“But I’m selfish,” he sniffled, looking up at me hopefully. “And I want you. I’ve wanted you for months. And I know that I don’t deserve you.” He looked down at the roses. “I knew that I couldn’t do this over the phone,” he repeated. He had given this speech in his head before, practicing it.  

“What do you mean, you want me?” I questioned quietly. “What is that even supposed to mean? You had me.”

His grip tightened on the flowers. “And I wasted that precious gift. I realize that. I want you, Bella. I want you to be mine. In every way.”

I laughed again, looking away from him. He continued, "I know. Look, I know. I am so sorry. I am willing to beg. I've wanted-" He stopped then laughed bitterly. Jasper shook his head. "Every time I see you, I just feel in awe of you and unworthy because, Bella, you're so brave and strong. And smart. And I knew that you deserved more than what little time that I could give you so, I held back. Or I tried to. But I want more. So much more. I want to give you everything, and I knew that I couldn't come to you without real proof of my feelings and my intentions. So, I put in for a transfer for a permanent position here in Dallas." 

Softly, I gasped. “But you love your job!”

“No. I like my job. I love you, Bella.” 


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10/12/2019

Locke. Chapter Twenty-two: In Pain

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Chapter Twenty-two: In Pain


Warning: this episode contains graphic sexual descriptions. Reader discretion is advised. Intended for a mature audience only. (18+) 



A day later, Jasper sent a text to me that read, “I apologize if I hurt your feelings. Thank you for telling me. I will be cognizant of them going forward.”

 I simply replied with, “thank you.” I didn’t know what else to say. 

I watched him through his Facebook, not that he added much to it. His profile picture was still of the photo of my lipstick prints on his cheek. In that time, there were two more bodies found. One was not far from Rochester, New York, the other almost exactly halfway between there and Albany. One body had been there for at least a year, the other new. I assumed if anything else, he was too busy for my silly little girl drama. I felt all the dumber for it.  

We didn’t say anything else to one another until he sent me a text nine days later. “I’m going to be in town for the evening. Would you be interested in doing a scene?” 

Staring at my phone, I swirled my breakfast cereal in my bowl with my spoon. It was just before noon. Tanya was boiling eggs for the salads she was making for herself and Edward. He was off all by his lonesome in the living room, watching television. She made it her mission to make sure he didn’t make me uncomfortable again and had banished him. 

“What’s the matter?” She asked, leaning against the counter. She was holding a whole carrot in her hand, waving it around. Then she took a nibbled off the end. “You look mad at your phone.”

I shook my head absently. “Oh, I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“About what?”

Sighing heavily, I answered. “Jasper’s in town.” 

Tanya knew I was unhappy about something, but we hadn't spoken about it. She still nodded knowingly. I think my tone said enough, though.  

“Did you get in a fight?”

Stirring my breakfast again, I dribbled a spoonful of milk back into the bowl. “I told him that I have feelings for him, and he doesn’t return them. So, no. We didn’t. I just made a fool out of myself.”

She scoffed loudly. “What? No way! He was all over you-”

I laughed angrily. “He just wants sex! I knew that! I knew that from the very beginning. I’m an idiot for letting myself feel anything. He made it clear from the start what we were, and I made it uncomfortable.”

Tanya shook her head. “Okay, I don’t think-”

“What do you know?” I seriously asked. “You don’t know anything about our relationship!”

My roommate looked hurt for a moment but sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. She nodded again. “Well, Edward says he spoke about you all the time when he was still talking to him. Saying you were perfect for him and-”

I stood up and put my half-eaten cereal in the sink. “Our kinks line up perfectly. That’s it.”

“It’s got to be more than that,” she called to my back as I walked out of the kitchen. 

"No, apparently it doesn't," I grumbled, going back to my room. Edward's eyes watched me the entire time, but he didn't say anything.  

I hated myself for missing him. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. Even if we never had sex again, I missed my friend. It felt like there was a hole in my heart. And I had made the wound myself. I blamed myself entirely. I wouldn’t punish him. 
“Yes, sir.”

My phone flashed instantly. “The Omni, room 689. 6.” 

For the first time, I wasn't in the least bit excited. My feet dragged like lead while getting ready. I didn't feel like putting on makeup, merely putting my hair up in a ponytail. I put on the simple black pencil skirt and white button-down that I had worn before. I also decided on flats. My feet weren't going to hurt for this.  

“Going to court, Bella?” Edward teased lightly when I came out of my room.

I stopped shoving the clothes that I was bringing into my big purse to stare at him. I was packing pajamas, but I knew somehow that was wishful thinking. He kind of smirked at me, his eyes going over my body slowly. I just gawked at him for an angry minute. He thought he was amusing. I could tell that he loved getting me so easily riled.  

"You're embarrassingly unimpressive," I quipped dryly before I started marching towards the door. His girlfriend was sitting beside him, her face clearly amused by my burn. She pursed her lips together, but kind of lost it when he looked at her.  

“Wow,” Tanya laughed. “You opened your mouth!” She teased him. “You know that she’s mad!” He frowned, shaking his head. She turned her attention back to me. “Are you sure you’re the submissive? You’re a savage,” she said puckishly. 

“I’m a switch, actually,” I retorted before shutting the front door behind me. 

The Omni was a big, impressively, colorful building. It was a landmark in Dallas, just off the interstate. As I steeled myself for what was about to come, I felt the dread slip from my body only to be replaced with a hollowness. With my eyes down, I knocked. A minute passed before he opened it. 

Jasper said nothing. Music was already playing in the room. He took my coat and purse silently. With my eyes down, I kept my expression as neutral as I could. As he walked around me, my heart didn’t thump excitedly. Nothing happened. 

“No speaking. No cumming.”

That wasn’t going to be a problem, I realized. 

I had made a mistake in coming. I wasn't ready for it, but I wasn't going to back out either. I had agreed to come, and I was going to stubbornly stay and see whatever happened through. No matter what he did, I wasn't going to enjoy it. But I was still going to let him do it. I decided it was my real punishment for allowing myself to open up to someone.  

“Go put your hands on the bed.” 

I walked slowly to it, doing what I was told. Staring at the patterns on the blanket, I was determined not to make a sound or react at all. If he loved them, he wasn’t going to get a single one. If I wasn’t going to enjoy it, neither was he. 

"You will not call yourself stupid." He struck me. "You've been told before, and you will not do it again." He hit me three times in a row, and my thighs didn't flex. I kept my breathing as even as possible. "Dare me to take it out on your ass," he snarled, truly angry. "I'll give you exactly what you fucking want, little girl."  

Every strike got harder and harder. I gave him nothing, my backbone made of steel. He drew out his belt after lifting my skirt up over my thighs. My nails dug into the fabric, only my knees giving as he took his annoyance out on my skin. Still, I kept my face the same, not even a gasp or whimper leaving my lips. I didn't open my mouth at all, my lips tight together.  

He threw his belt down to the ground. “Strip!” Jasper ordered harshly. 
​
I did so slowly and without any emotion on my face. Folding every piece, I neatly put them on the bed at the foot. When I was done, he yanked my ponytail back. 

“On your fucking knees.”

I dropped to the floor, my eyes on his feet. The emptiness filled my chest. He put a tie around my eyes, making the knot almost painfully tight. I heard his zipper going down and a soft groan as he took himself into his own hands. He brought his half-hard erection to my lips. I was unmoving as he jerked off against my cheek. 

“Open.”

My jaw went slack. I could feel him growing harder against my moist tongue. There was no desire to move or give him more. Jasper pulled on my hair, pushing himself between my lips. 

"Suck, slut," he commanded. I did so with as little enthusiasm as a blow job could be given. By my usual standards, I would have been ashamed of my performance. But if he wanted me to work for him, he was going to spell out every order. I was not going to be in any way easy.  

He growled, yanking me up and throwing me to the bed so that I fell onto my stomach. In a second, he was on top of me and pressing inside of me. His hands wrapped around my wrists tightly, pushing them into the mattress. He felt too heavy on top of me, his breath hot on my neck.  

Jasper fucked me for a long time from behind. I could tell how I was affecting his typical prowess, but he was stubborn, just like I was. His hand wrapped around my throat from behind, pulling me back as he began to squeeze it.  

“Fuck,” he whispered when he finally couldn’t take anymore. Holding my hip in his other hand, Jasper rammed himself into until he had nothing else to give. Slowly letting go of my neck, he pulled out. He rested his forehead against my shoulder while he caught his breath. 

He shifted beside me and moved his hand down my back, tracing over the curve of my extremely sore ass. When he tried to rub between my legs, all I wanted him to do was stop. His fingers slid lightly over my clit for only a second before pulling away as if he sensed my thoughts. It was probably rolling off of me in waves. 

I could hear him sigh, laying flat beside me for a moment. 

“When I take the blindfold off, the scene’s over,” he said, putting his hand on the knot on the back of my head as I still laid on my stomach. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” I answered quietly into the mattress.

As soon as it was gone, he was off the bed to throw the condom away. And it hurt. 

I quickly rolled over and pulled the sheet around me. I waited for him to do or say something. Anything. Silently, he went to wash his hands. I felt my lips begin to quiver, watching his back. My heart finally started to pound. 

I felt so disgusted with myself and what just happened. Anger flared in me. I stared at him, wanting to burn a hole in his back. He didn’t meet my eyes as he went to his luggage to get a pair of underwear. 

“Really?” I asked in surprise. 

"What?" He didn't turn around to look at me. Jasper tried to say it casually, but the stress was written all over his normally beautiful features.  

“You can’t be fucking serious,” I began. 

He brought his hand up swiftly. “Watch your tone, Isabella.”

“Uh, you’re talking to Bella right now. This is what we’re going to do? You’re just going to let it be awkward?” I demanded.

He sighed, looking through his bag for a pair of sleep pants. “I don’t know what-”

I laughed mirthlessly, interrupting him. “Please. I just want my friend back. Can we please at least talk about this like adults? I’ll order us dinner and-”

He still had his back turned to me, staring into his luggage as he searched for something else. Jasper was doing everything he could to not look at me. "I'm actually exhausted. I think I'd just like to go to-" 

“Red!” I snapped. He finally turned around in surprise. 

“What?”

“You fucking heard me! Red!” I got out of bed and began to hurriedly put on my clothes that were still folded at the end. 

"Bella-" He started to reach for me, but I slapped his arm away hard. He had his chance to talk, and he lost it.  

I put on my shoes, shaking my head as I buttoned my shirt. "I get that I made a mistake when I expressed my feelings, but this is not okay. I will not be treated like this. You know, I really thought you were more of a man than this. I thought you were more mature." 

“Isabella,” he growled my name. 

“Red!” I shouted in his face, unfazed. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t. I have given you every part of myself openly and freely whenever you have the fucking time. Even when it hurts to be here. I deserve more than this. And you know what? I deserve more than two nights a fucking month! So, thank you for opening my eyes before I wasted any more of my time and energy on pining away on another guy who clearly just wanted an easy fuck.”

He grabbed my arm when I went for the door, but I whirled around and slapped him as hard as I could across his cheek. It was enough to knock him back. "You don't have permission to touch me anymore!" 

I didn’t make it to my room before I began to sob. As soon as I shut the front door, I doubled over in pain. My purse fell from my arm.  

Tanya literally leaped over the couch and ran to me instantly. 

“Oh, no! What did that pig do?” She pulled my upper body onto her lap. Laying herself over my back, she hugged me with her whole body. “Did he hurt you?” I couldn’t answer, I just cried as I shook my head. 

"Edward, you like hurting people. Go fuck up this asshole," she said to her boyfriend after a few minutes. I didn't even know that he was there. I had kind of forgotten he even existed. My whole world was shattering around me, and I couldn't see through my tears.  

"Um, he has a gun, and I'm into consensual pain," he replied evenly. "I do not consent to getting shot then arrested for assaulting a federal agent. And he's already threatened to rip off several parts of my body. Including both of my heads and my balls."  

She clicked her tongue. “That’s a valid point.” 

“I already slapped him,” I whispered. 

“Good,” she cooed as she began to pet my hair. 

“You don’t know why,” I sniffled. She just shrugged. 

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Oh Tanya, I screwed up,” I whispered before I began to cry again. 

I don’t know how long she let me get it all out. Time kind of lost meaning. As my tears slowed, my mind sort of blacked out. All of a sudden, I was being lifted and carried into my room. Slowly, I looked up at Edward. He was gazing straight ahead, concentrating on not falling as he got me to my bed. When he put me down in the middle, he pressed his fingers to my wrist and looked at his watch. 

“I swear that I’m just checking your pulse,” he mumbled. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” I whispered. “I’m not dying, though. I just want to.”

“Did he actually hurt you?” He worriedly asked.

I shook my head, pushing my face into the pillow. “I hurt myself. It doesn’t matter. It’s over now.” 

Edward sighed heavily. "Okay, well, as a doctor, I'm going to go get you a glass of water. And I want you to drink it for me, alright? I'm a little worried that you're going into shock."  

"Fine," I mumbled. 

Just a few moments later, he returned from the kitchen with a glass of ice water with a straw. He waited for me to sit up before he handed it to me. Edward sat on the edge of the bed to make sure that I actually drank it. I did so slowly, unable to meet his eyes.  

"Good girl," he murmured, making my cheeks flush. He tried to pick up my wrist to take my pulse again, but I pulled it away.  

“Really, I’m fine. I’ll get more water in a little bit. I’m going to just go to sleep.”

“Okay,” he said quietly as he stood. “But I’m going to check on you in a little while. Just so that I don’t worry about you all night.  

“That’s unnecessary-” 

He lifted his hand to stop me. “Yes, it is. If it makes you feel better, I’ll have Tanya do it instead. I just want to make sure that you’re alright.”

“Okay,” I finally relented. “Thank you.”

When he left me alone there, I had nothing left in me to cry, and the emptiness returned. I wanted to wash the night off of me, but I couldn't find the strength to get out of bed. I was wrapped in Jasper’s smell. A small part of me didn't want to scrub him away, the last remnants of our short time together. I wasn't going to have anything else after the bruises faded.  

For some reason, all my mind could focus on was the fact that he didn’t kiss me at all during the night and I wouldn’t ever get another. I knew I would miss his lips more than anything else and the way they felt on my skin.  

My hand hurt where I struck him. Drawing it to me, I held it to my aching heart. I hated myself because the last memory that I was going to have of him was giving him pain that I knew he didn't really deserve. I allowed it all to happen, and I was the only one to blame.  

What hurt the most though, was that I just lost my best friend. 

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10/10/2019

Locke. Chapter Twenty-one: Between the Shelves

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Chapter Twenty-one: Between the shelves


We pulled up to one of the nicest restaurants in Addison. Chamberlain’s was delicious and very expensive. I had only been once for someone’s birthday years before. I felt my cheeks heat. “I’m not sure that I’m dressed well enough for here.”

Jasper laughed, looking down at himself after he killed his engine. "If so, then I am definitely not. Don't worry. We're in Texas. You're fine. You look beautiful." 

“Okay.” I flushed brighter. “I mean, actually,” I laughed nervously, “I can’t afford this place.”

He instantly frowned. “We’re not going to go over this again.”

I pouted a little. “This is different.”

He unbuckled his seatbelt and undid mine before leaning over to look at me very seriously. "I'd pay either way since I invited you out," he informed me. "I'm a gentleman first. I picked the place, knowing the price. Don't argue with me. I know you like fish." 

“I do,” I admitted with a small smile. 

“And,” he began, running his fingers under my jaw as he drew me closer to him, “they’re supposed to have some of the best chocolate cake in Dallas.”

“Mm, cake,” I said longingly, making him chuckle before he kissed me. 

He pecked at my lips once more. “My new favorite form of aftercare.” 

We walked inside, his hand on my back. He had a reservation, and when we got to the stand, he mumbled, "Dr. Hale." The little girl standing there was beautiful, thin, and in her early twenties. He didn't even glance in her direction. 

The hostess looked at him for a long second, blinking a couple of times before she looked down at her notes. She looked over at me and then up at him. “Um, yes, sir. Dr. Hale, table for two. Just give us about ten minutes.”

“Thank you,” he smiled. “We’ll be at the bar.” 

Jasper led me over, pulling out the barstool for me like a gentleman. He offered me his hand, helping me up. The bartender looked up from whatever he was doing and smiled at us. 

"Hi! How can I help you?" 

“Hello,” I replied. Going ahead and getting my ID, I handed it to him while I absently looked at the drink menu. 

“Thank you, Ms. Swan.”

“I’ll take a dirty martini,” Jasper added as he sat beside me. “And some of those parmesan fries,” he murmured as he looked over my shoulder at the happy hour specials. “What do you think, darlin? What are you getting?”

I nibbled my lip for a moment. “Can I have a glass of Riesling?” I pointed to the menu.

“Sure,” the bartender answered as he smiled. 

Jasper looked at his watch. "Go ahead and give her two. Happy hour is almost over, and it's cheaper that way." I giggled softly. "What? Are you not going to want a second drink?" 

“Make the second glass the Merlot,” I grinned innocently. “Fries sound amazing. I’m so glad you ordered those.”

He chuckled as he stood, stretching and popping his back. “Fries always sound good. I’m going to wash up first. I’ll be back in a second.” Then he pressed a sweet kiss on my cheek. 

The hostess came into the bar not more than a minute later, looking for us. The bartender didn’t have time to even make one of our drinks. She leaned into me and whispered, “Mrs. Hale, your table is ready.”

“Thanks,” I uttered, looking at the bartender. 

“We’ll have everything brought to you,” he replied quickly. The hostess held up a couple of fingers, pointing out where we were going to be sat in the corner of the restaurant. It was a small round table with a rose and a candle in the center. I sat with my back to the wall, waiting for Jasper to return. 

The waiter came with our drinks, setting them in the middle. I gazed at the menu, trying to figure out what I wanted. I felt Jasper’s fingers on my back as he came around me to sit in the chair beside me. 

“I just got called Mrs. Hale,” I whispered, widening my eyes. 

He chuckled, bringing my left hand up to his mouth to lightly kiss. I had a couple of rings on both of my hands, not one of them on my ring fingers. “So, what are you thinking about for dinner, my lovely bride?” 

“Oh, god,” I laughed nervously, looking away from him. I hated how much I liked it. “You know that you’re getting old when they don’t just assume that you’re on a date.”

Jasper took a long sip of his martini before taking a bite of one of the olives. “That might be the kinkiest roleplay that I’ve ever considered doing,” he said dryly. I giggled into my wine glass. 

“Taking your love of shackles to the next level,” I mouthed in a hushed tone. The waiter came back to the table with the fries that Jasper ordered. He had to hide his dirty smile behind his glass, reaching for my hand underneath the table to give it a quick squeeze. 

“Thank you,” I said pleasantly to the server before he left. 

After dinner, he drove over to the theater not more than ten minutes from the restaurant. Even after Jasper bought our tickets, we still had an hour to kill. So, we decided to walk around the mall that it was attached to. We just sort of strolled together quietly until we reached the massive bookstore in the middle.  

We stopped to look at one another at the same time. “Mm, shall we?” He nodded his head towards it. I nodded as well, smiling brightly. He grinned, putting a hand on the small of my back to lead me inside. 

“Oh, my god! I love bookstores,” I moaned softly once we were inside. 

“One day, I’ll be buying the special editions of your books in here,” he breathed in my ear. Gently, I bumped my hip into him. His hand slid from the small of my back to my ass, pulling me closer to him.

"You're sweet. I hope so," I answered as we moved our way through the shelves slowly. We stopped in a secluded corner, and he pulled me to him in a quick but fiery kiss. His hand slid to my jean's pocket and gave my cheek a good squeeze. "Mmm," I hummed.  

He kissed my neck slowly after as my head fell back. “That doesn’t bother you right now?”

Flushing at his question, I shook my head. I turned so that my back was pressed against his chest. He didn’t stop kissing me though, wrapping his arms around my waist as he pulled me against him. “I’m annoyingly horny right now even though I feel kind of awful. I keep thinking, ‘hm, maybe I could get a quick spanking and give you a blow job,’” I confessed jokingly.  

“I’m down,” he said instantly, making me laugh. I swirled my hips against him.

Drawing away from him, I took his hand and led him to another aisle. “Maybe after the movie,” I flirted.

“Or, maybe, during,” he whispered dirtily. 

“I haven’t given head in a movie in years. Wow, memories,” I mused mischievously. “Going to take me to the family bathroom first and give it to me good first? Please say `yes.’”

He grabbed my ass hard, making me moan very softly. We went to another aisle, him stepping closer to me as he did. We were hip to hip, his lips very close to my ear. “I’ll make you nice and sore, so you feel it throughout the entire movie.” 

I brought him to me for a quick kiss. “Maybe we could find that bathroom now…” 

Pulling me towards another secluded spot again, he brought me into a deep kiss before grabbing me with both of his hands so that I was pressed hard against him. I giggled excitedly against his mouth. One of them slid underneath the back of my sweater, over my tank top. Jasper looked up as if he was actually looking for the restroom when his eyes got massive. 

Two women, one older and one younger who were obviously mother and daughter, were walking towards us. The younger female looked amused while the elder seemed downright psyched. And she was marching towards us with purpose.  

"Jasper Whitlock, you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend!" She thundered. The other beautiful woman sealed her lips shut tightly, trying not to burst into laughter. His eyes got bigger somehow. I had never seen him turn so red.  

“Uh… no. No, Mama, I don’t-” he began to stutter out quickly. 

“Well, it certainly looks like she’s your girlfriend with the way you are loving all over her,” she began cheerfully, turning her attention back to me. “What’s your name, sweetie?”

“Um, Isabella,” I said in quiet surprise.

She beamed between the two of us. "What a charming name for a pretty girl! How long have you been dating?" She actually took my hand, leaning into me. I took a step back, but there was only Jasper there. His hand went almost protectively to my side to keep me from tripping backward.  

"We're not dating," I repeated, but she obviously didn't believe me. She needed more than that, I realized. "Um, it's our first date, actually." It was almost true. It was our first time that we were truly out in public together.  

This just made her all the more thrilled. “Well, obviously it’s going well then,” she giggled enthusiastically. “I’m Caroline Hale, Jasper’s mother, and this is his twin sister, Rosalie.”

"Hi," the very pretty young woman said to me with a slight smirk. She didn't seem all that impressed with me, but she was undoubtedly amused about what was happening to her twin. "Seems to be going very well there, brother." She eyed where his hand was, and he instantly brought both of his them behind his back as if he had been caught doing something bad. He looked away, pouting.  

“It was…” he drew out sourly. “What are y’all doing on this side of town?”

“Shopping, obviously! Why didn’t you tell me that you were home?” Caroline demanded, tilting her head to the side. Both her son and daughter were at least a foot taller than her.  

He blinked a couple of times. “I’m just in Dallas for the day. I’m sorry.” 

"That's okay, darlin," she cooed, patting his arm. "You obviously had plans. It's a shame that you won't be here long. You should bring Isabella to Sunday dinner sometime soon. And she could join us for church!" She turned her hopeful eyes back to me. "What church do you go to?" 

“Mom,” Jasper whispered, shaking his head. 

“Friendship Baptist,” I stated automatically. 

“And where is that?” 

I didn't expect that question. I knew how to get there, but I wasn't certain of what street it was on. "Oh, gosh. I'm horrible with directions. Um, it's actually not that far from here. That way," I laughed and pointed to the right.  

Mrs. Hale wasn’t going to give me any time to breathe. “And who’s the pastor there?” I realized I was getting tested with her rapid-fire questions. 

I cleared my throat. "Well, actually, the pastor had to retire suddenly because of health reasons. We've had guests for the past couple of months. But my best friend's father is considering taking the job. He's the youth minister," I explained to her as pleasantly as possible. I saw Jasper smile beside me, and I knew instantly that I did well. "Which would be just perfect for him and terrible for everyone else. I've never met a man who enjoyed the sound of his own voice more." 

She laughed at my small talk. "Oh, dear. I know exactly what you mean. So, what do you do? Do you work in the FBI, too?" She looked between her son and me again, eager for any knowledge she could gain.  

“Bella’s a writer, actually,” Jasper finally found his voice. I think he might have been a little intimidated by his diminutive mother.  

“That’s fantastic! What’s your full name? What have you written?” She grabbed my arm with both of her little hands. Caroline might have been enthusiastic about me before, but this had her full attention.

I swallowed. “Um, Isabella Swan.” 

I instantly saw the light go on in her eyes as she connected the dots. “Oh, goodness gracious! Did she write the book that you got me for my birthday?” She asked her son. He quickly nodded. “I just love your work! How exciting! Rose, she wrote that novel that I gave you!” She looked back at her daughter. “Have you read it? You know! The one I gave you last week.” 

“No,” she shrugged. Her mother was unimpressed and at that moment looked exactly like her daughter. All three of them had the same face.  

“Well, you should!” Caroline said fiercely, still holding onto me. “It’s amazing! Isabella is a very talented author.”

“I second that,” Jasper added, rubbing a hand over my shoulder. I reached for it, giving it a quick squeeze as I looked up at him adoringly. He didn’t even know which book she was talking about. He winked before looking up at his mom. “Sorry to run off, but we were going to the movies.” He hitched his thumb over his shoulder. “And we’ve already got the tickets. If we want to get popcorn and everything…” He trailed off. 

“Of course!” His mother replied, finally letting go with a pat on my hand. “Well, it was so lovely to meet you, Isabella. Hopefully, Jasper can bring you to dinner soon. I’d love to talk to you more about your books.”

I smiled pleasantly. “I’d love that. It was nice to meet you as well. Have a good night.”

He hugged his mother and whispered something in his sister's ear. She nodded then shrugged, smirking a little at him. We sort of awkwardly waved at each other, giving those weird half-smiles. 

“How quickly did that boner disappear?” I asked sarcastically once we were out of the store. He began to laugh nervously, rubbing his hands over his face.

"There are like fifty malls in this town," he began, looking at me with apparent stress. "I haven't turned into a sixteen-year-old boy that quickly in years." 

I laughed wickedly as he draped his arm over my shoulder. “That was fun.”

 He sighed, shaking his head. Then he smirked. “You’re a smooth liar. She ate that up, by the way.” 

"Well, I've gone to church this year. I didn't completely lie," I joked, but I couldn't hide my smile.  

Jasper chuckled. “She’s in love with you already.” 

I took his hand as it dangled over my shoulder, giving it another squeeze. “She seems really sweet. Your sister is gorgeous, by the way. I didn’t know you were a twin.”

He shrugged. “Mm, we’re not super close. We don’t have a lot in common.”

I glanced in his direction, smirking to myself. “So, how are you going to break it to your mom that I’m not the next Mrs. Hale?” I teased.

He pretended to think for a moment. “Can I just avoid the topic until she starts planning the wedding?” I giggled devilishly. “She has told my father already. I guarantee you.”

“Oh no,” I snorted. “So, do you think that it’ll be a fall wedding?” He swatted me playfully, making me laugh loudly. “Where should we go on our honeymoon?” He hit me twice more. “Definitely a secluded tropical island somewhere. Lots of outdoor fuckery.” 

“Dear lord,” he mumbled under his breath. “Okay. I like that idea. Let’s skip the wedding and find that island. Or maybe a private bathroom.”

There wasn’t one. 

The movie theater was annoyingly busy. I pouted all the way to our seats. We were surrounded by people. He chuckled under his breath. I huffed, putting my head on his shoulder. 

“Later,” he promised. 

As the previews began, my mind started to wander. I thought about the evening and how much fun I was having. I thought that he would be less affectionate, but our time just felt natural. Everything felt familiar with Jasper. Somewhere along the way, I became aware that I hadn’t watched any of the movie at all. I was too focused on the man beside me. Absently, I traced the lines of his blue jeans with my nails.  

Then about halfway through the show, he twisted his fingers with mine. The heat of his hand spread from my palm up my arm. It felt so imitate, different from anything that we had ever done before. The whole night did. I began to wonder if I had actually lied to his mother or not. 

I thought about what Alice said, that I needed to tell him about how I felt. We had made jokes all night, but I didn’t hate the idea of more. More time with him, playing and not. More time like this. 

When the film was over, I instantly felt sad to let go of his hand.  

“What’s wrong?” Jasper asked as we walked back to the car. “You haven’t said anything. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just… thinking.”

He opened the car door for me. “About?” 

I licked my lips slowly, considering my words for a moment. “What are we doing?”

“What do you mean?” He questioned when he got in. Jasper had his keys in his hand but didn’t start the car.  

“What was tonight?” I inquired softly. “Because it didn’t feel like Dom and sub or friends. Or even friends with benefits.” I couldn’t look at him, my nervous stomach twisting.

He sighed, his hands falling to his lap. “I don’t know,” he admitted in a small voice.  

I bit my lip as I chose my words carefully. "I… I need you to know that I love what we do and what we have right now." 

“I do, too,” he promised. 

"But Jasper, I have feelings for you. Real feelings that aren't just sex," I began to babble. "And I've been trying to ignore them, and I can say over and over again that you're just my friend, but it doesn't feel like that." I kept my eyes forward as I stared out the windshield into the dark parking garage. I gave him a moment to say anything if he had something to tell me in return. As the awkward seconds ticked by, I realized how big a mistake I had just made. "I don't want to stop, but I just need you to be cognizant of that," I finished lamely. I closed my eyes and wished I could take it all back.  

"Bella," he began, and I instantly felt tears spring to my eyes, but I pushed them back. I wasn't going to cry in front of him for any reason. "I'm sorry, I don’t-" 

“No. It’s fine.” I shook my head quickly. “Can you just take me home? I’d like to go home,” I begged in a tiny voice. 

“Yeah,” he said hollowly. 

As we drove, I realized that I had done precisely what Edward had. I misread the signs and thought that he wanted more just like I did. I had fucked up, and I hated myself for spewing my emotions like that. This was why I didn't get dates and probably why he didn't want to be in a relationship with me. I gazed blankly out the window, biting my thumbnail. There would be none left by the time we arrived.  

I began unbuckling my seatbelt before he fully came to a stop in the parking lot. I had to get out of the car as fast as possible.  

"Bella," he began again, but I shook my head.  

"No. It's really fine. You're just a nice guy, and I guess I confused that for something else. Because I'm just that fucking stupid."  

“I told you not to call yourself that in front of me again,” he growled. 

My eyes snapped to him, narrowing. "Well, you know what? If we ever play again, you can take it out on my ass." Then I got out of the car, slamming the door. I was hurting, and I didn't care. I would probably never see him again, anyway.  

I didn’t look back, my frustration, anger, and sadness driving me towards my room until I dropped to my bed, the tears finally falling as I smashed my face into my pillow.  


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10/8/2019

Locke. Chapter Twenty: In a Text

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Chapter Twenty: In a Text


Only a few days passed before I got Jasper’s next text that he was going to be in town unexpectedly for a meeting. But instead of being excited about it, I was totally disappointed. I knew it was bound to happen at some point, but I had lucked out. My period started the night before. My cycle was never terrible, but it was enough to make me uncomfortable.  

"Hey, would you like to play tonight?" The message blinked. I read it three times in a row, wishing he would magically add, ‘in a couple of days’. But I knew that wasn't really going to come. And neither was I. 

I bit my lip, trying to figure out if there was anything we could do. But I wasn't comfortable enough for that. Blood wasn't either one of our things, and honestly, I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I had already taken painkillers twice in the morning.  

"I would love to, but I can't," I replied, pouting. Even if I wasn't up to having sex, the idea of cuddling with him, in bed with cake preferably, sounded terrific. I knew I wasn't going to get that though, even if I wanted it desperately.  

“Oh. That sucks. I was really looking forward to seeing you again. Got plans for tonight already?” He asked instantly. I felt terrible for disappointing him. I wasn’t sure he could know how bummed I was.  

I considered not telling him, but I decided I should be honest. I hadn't ever lied to him before, and I wasn't about to start over something silly. It's not like he wasn't a doctor. He literally dealt with blood every single day. If my menstrual cycle scared him off, he was less of a man than I thought.  

“Actually, no. I’m on my period. Sorry. :/.” I answered finally. I hugged the heating pad to my stomach, frowning down at it. It was half shoved into my sweat pants. I was lying on my bed in the dark, dropping the temperature as low in the apartment as Tanya could stand.

“Oh, well, that does suck. I’m sorry,” he said right away. 

I wasn't sure he could understand how much of an understatement that was. But I wasn't going to whine about my condition because I knew it didn't help. "It's okay. It could be worse. On the plus side… hey, not pregnant!" I concluded sarcastically. At least we both knew the Plan B had been effective before. I hadn't been worried about it at all, though.  

“lol, oh god. I didn’t even think about that. I guess that is the plus side. Well, I didn’t have anything else going on tonight. We don’t have to play. Do you just want to hang out?” He asked before swiftly adding, “or would you rather suffer in peace?”
“I’d rather not be alone. It’s not that bad.”

My phone flashed once more. “My sister was a beast on hers when we were kids. She’d just scream at us to leave her alone for a week. If we wanted to talk to her, we had to bring offerings. Chocolate usually worked. Sometimes cash.”

“Those work on me at any given time,” I joked. “I could seriously shank someone for chocolate cake, though.” 

“Please don’t, lol. I don’t want to work your case.”

I laughed out loud to myself. “Fine. If you insist.” I sent several eye-roll emojis. “There goes my plans for the evening.”

“Well, since you’re not busy now, do you want to just hang out?” He asked again. 

I hadn’t really answered him before. I bit my lip again for a moment, considering it. “What would you want to do?”

"Idk, what do normal people do?" He questioned teasingly. I giggled as I imagined his voice. I wanted it in my ear as he laid behind me, his warm body pressed to mine.  

He asked a good question that I wasn’t sure I knew the answer to precisely. If I was ever going out, it was almost always either to see him or to spend time with Alice. I was a very introverted person, and I knew that. Planning usually stumped me, especially when it didn't involve sex.  

“Um, idk. They go to the movies, maybe? I do that occasionally when I’m trying to blend in with the vanillas.” 

“I want you to know that I just snorted my coffee in front of my superior.”

“lol, careful there. Definitely can’t explain what’s so funny, huh?”

“Omg, no. He’s definitely one of the vanillas lol. He’s a million years old and probably thinks I’m insane for giggling at my phone. He might have actually worked with Hoover.”

Talking to him made me feel better. I could envisage his cheerful voice in my head as we chatted and I just let it wash over me. “Well, you know better than to text in front of your boss lol.”

My cell beeped again. “I should, but I still do it. Anyway, I wouldn’t mind going to the movies. Anything that you want to see?”

“I’m not sure that I even know what’s playing right now,” I admitted. “Why don’t you pick?”

“Dinner, too?” He really mustn’t have been busy, even if he was with his boss. 

“That would be great.”

“Hm… well, if I can’t eat you, what should we have?” 

My cheeks flushed, and I grinned to myself. Even if I felt terrible, desire washed over me. "Surprise me. Whatever you're in the mood for," I answered quickly, pushing the outline that I was writing to the side. My brain wasn't going to work anymore after that comment anyway.  

“Sounds good. How about I pick you up? Six work for you?”

“That’s perfect. I’ll see you then.”

I instantly became a million times more nervous than I was the first time we were together for some reason that I couldn’t understand. The idea of going to dinner and movies should have seemed tame, especially when compared to what we did just days before. But we had known each other for months and hadn’t gone anywhere. We were either at his hotel or my apartment. I didn’t know how to act when we were out. Was he for or against PDA? I wasn’t sure I wanted to try, just to be disappointed. He knew that he wasn’t getting laid, though. All I could do was let him lead the way, as always.  

When I got dressed for the evening, I wore a pair of blue jeans and a comfortable blue cable knit sweater that was way too big. It fell over my shoulder, exposing the strap of my tank top underneath. My heeled boots went to my knees, making me a couple of inches taller. I was hoping that they would give me some extra confidence. 

Tanya and I were getting ready in the bathroom at the same time. Her hair was done up high in piles of curls, but she was still in her robe. She passed me a beautiful dark mauve lipstick wordlessly.

“You look pretty,” she complimented when I didn’t take it right away. “I think this color will like nice on you.”

I gazed at it for a long second. It was a nicer brand. She had a ton of makeup. "Aw, thank you!" After applying it quickly, I tried to hand it back, but she shook her head.  

“Keep it. Just in case you need reapplications…” She wiggled her eyebrows. I laughed, shaking my head. 

“Hopefully. Thank you.”

Edward was sitting on the couch, waiting for Tanya to finish getting ready. They were going to some fancy social-function with his family, and he was wearing a tux. He looked delicious, and I still wanted to hit him.  

He came to his feet when he saw me. “Hi.”

“Oh, sit down,” I mumbled automatically. I was still royally pissed. He made a little face at himself, embarrassed. Clearing his throat, Edward sat on the edge of the couch with his hands clasped between spread knees. 

“You look lovely this evening,” he said quietly. “Plans?”

“Yes,” I replied as I went back to my bedroom to get my phone. It was five minutes until six. 

"Going out with Alice?" He inquired curiously. Slowly, he had been trying to ask me questions, but I was still at the single word answer stage.  

“No,” I responded just as there was a knock at the front door. I literally pranced to it. 

Jasper grinned when I opened it just a crack. “Hey!”

“Hi!” I opened the door a little more. On the other side, he was wearing a tight pair of blue jeans, his heavy work boots, and a tight black shirt underneath a well-worn blue jean jacket. “Oh, wow!”

“What?” Jasper asked, confused by my greeting. He actually looked behind him absently. It made me giggle.  

“Well, how are you doing, cowboy?” I said flirtatiously as I wiggled my shoulders, tugging on the edge of his jacket. He laughed, putting his hand on my hip as he pulled me in close. “How was your meeting?” I continued as he hugged me tightly, my arms encircling his neck.

He didn’t let go, squeezing my hips as he buried his face in my hair. “You know, usually I get pissed when I have to go to these things that could have been handled in an email, but today, I don’t mind it so much.” I giggled again, relishing in his warmth and attention. His hand went to my ass, squeezing it gently.

My fear of being rejected instantly went away as he kissed my forehead. He was only looking at my face, his fingers running just under my chin so as not to mess up my makeup. And for a minute, I forgot everything.

“You look great,” he whispered, hugging me close to him again.
 
“Mm, thanks,” I mumbled as I hid my face in his chest for a moment. 

Then I felt Jasper stiffen, and I glanced up at his face. It was severe, angry. His jaw was tight. Following his eyes, I looked over my shoulder. Edward was standing up again and peering back at us.  

He cleared his throat, shoving both of his hands in his pocket before rocking on his heels for a second. “So, sorry about the-”

“You’re a prick,” Jasper interrupted him. 

His no-nonsense tone left nothing to the imagination. I grinned to myself. It was stupidly hot for some reason. 

“Don’t worry,” I patted his chest gently to get his attention. Smiling innocently, I batted my eyelashes. Jasper seemed genuinely confused, tilting back slightly to take me in. “He already knows what he’ll be fed if he bothers me again. So, he won’t.” I looked at Edward, cocking my head to the side as my tone became dangerous. “Will you?”

“No, I won’t,” he insisted with a small smirk on his lips. His cheeks were faintly pink. 

Tanya came out of her bedroom finally, fully dressed in what could be described as no less than a ball gown. She smiled when she saw Jasper and me together. “Oh, hi! Nice to see you again!”

He lifted his hand, one arm still around my waist. “It’s nice to see you as well. You look quite elegant tonight,” Jasper complimented smoothly. She beamed at him, melting a bit with his easy southern charm. Edward rolled his eyes a little, looking away from us. She wasn’t paying attention to him, though. 

“Thank you,” she giggled before turning her focus back to me. “I’m staying at Edward’s. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Nodding, I smiled back. “Okay.” It felt like my relationship with her was somehow back to normal. I quickly grabbed my purse off the hook, along with my jacket. “Have fun!” I called to her, finally pulling Jasper towards his rental car. 

He was still rigid as he opened the door for me. It appeared as if he was chewing on something tough, his hands in fists at his side. When he slammed my door, I jumped. 

“What’s wrong?” I pushed when he sat. 

Surprised that I was asking, Jasper quickly shook his head. “What? Oh. Nothing.”

I snorted. “Bullshit. What’s bothering you?” I reached over and gently squeezed his thigh.

His fingers wrapped around the steering wheel tightly, looking straight ahead. “You turned him on. Just now,” he grumbled, his voice low. 

I laughed a little meanly. "I know. Good. I hope he dies of blue balls." 

He laughed in shock. “You’re a little cruel, darlin.” 

Shaking my head, I picked at my sweater before glancing at him. “That pretty boy needs to learn that he’s not impressive. He’ll be fine. He’ll figure it out eventually. Until then, it’s kind of fun for my ego,” I admitted with a smirk. “He’ll get bored quickly when he realizes that I’m not that easy.” 

Jasper hummed quietly, making a face. “Or it’ll make you more interesting to him. You don’t know the guy like I do.”

I turned to look at him curiously. “Do you think that I’m in any danger?” He would be an expert in the field of dangerous and deadly douchebags. 

He leaned his head to one side then the other before sighing. “Only of having the shit annoyed out of you. I just don’t want you to go through that.” 

I patted his leg gently. “I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl. I can handle him.”

“That’s what he’s hoping for,” he mumbled under his breath, making me giggle softly. “Anyway, so there’s a mall not that far from here with a theater playing a movie that I want to see.”

He didn't even say a title, and I didn't mind one bit. "Sounds good." 

Jasper nodded his head, grinning. “And there’s a fish place that I wouldn’t mind going to. Is that alright with you? Or would you like something different? I’m not picky.”

“Fish sounds great. I don’t care what we do,” I told him honestly.

“No question at all?” I shook my head. Jasper finally started the car. “You’re trusting,” he said coyly.  

I shrugged, rubbing my hand over his leg again. I let my nails drag over the denim. “Sometimes it’s just fun to go along for the ride and see what happens.” 

Glancing at me before he began to back out, he replied. “Yes, it is.”


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10/5/2019

Locke. Chapter Nineteen: Alone in bed

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Chapter Nineteen: Alone in bed


Warning: this episode contains graphic sexual descriptions. Reader discretion is advised. Intended for a mature audience only. (18+)


I woke up alone in the dark. The blankets were all tucked around me as if Jasper had covered me. Looking at the clock, I realized it was just before five in the morning, and I could hear the shower running already. I wasn't sure if he actually got any rest, but I fell asleep against his chest sometime in the early hours of the night. Stretching a little, I turned on the lamp beside me.  

Gathering my things, I picked up any mess we had made the evening before. It wasn’t much since we were both neat people. When I went to my purse, I noticed a book sitting face down on top of his opened luggage on the dresser beside it. I recognized it right away, even if the copy was well-worn and laying face down. 

It was mine. 

I picked it up slowly. It was in good condition even though it had been obviously read many times. The spine had worn white lines running up and down from being opened so much. There were little pieces of paper sticking out of it with notes or drawings. In some corners, there were doodles that went along with whatever was on the page. Biting my lip, I smiled wildly to myself. I believed him when he said he bought a copy, but this made it more special somehow.  

Quickly before he could get out of the shower, I pulled a light blue pen from my purse. As neatly as possible, I wrote a quick message to him on the inside cover. 

“To my personal FBI agent. I can’t thank you enough for making every moment with you so special. All my love, Isabella Swan.” 

I put it away just as it was, smiling to myself still. I wondered how long it would take him to find that little surprise. I decided I would keep it to myself, hopefully giving him a nice gift sometime soon when he needed it.  

Jasper came dripping wet out of the shower, toweling off lazily. He looked tired, rubbing the back of his neck with the cloth roughly. His wild hair fell in every direction, the droplets rolling down his skin. Slowly he looked over at me and smiled. 

“I’m sorry. I was trying to let you sleep some more. You looked so comfortable,” he said, beginning to dry off his stomach. 

“Only because you were my pillow,” I replied teasingly, pulling my dress out of my purse. He walked over to the dresser, coming to stand beside me. “I’m sad that I missed the shower.”

Jasper took my clothing and put it back on my bag. "Me too," he breathed before pulling me to him so that he could kiss me deeply. His body was sticky moist from the heat of the bath, deliciously fresh. My hands easily slid down his chest. He was already rock hard. My fingers brushed over his rigid skin as I glanced up at him. He was looking down at me hungrily. 

"I want you. Right now." 

We both knew we didn’t have much time, but neither one of us cared at all. I kissed him furiously, my fingers wrapping around him tightly. He moaned against my mouth. Both of us instantly needy, his hands on my bare sides. 

“Fuck me,” I begged.

He yanked my panties down roughly, quickly lifting me onto the dresser. With both of his hands on my thighs, he spread my legs wide. It was shockingly fast, but I didn't care. I threw off my tiny shirt, putting my arms around his neck. He rubbed against me perfectly as we kissed again.  

Jasper reached into his luggage, pulling a silver wrapper from a large condom box. He brought it to my lips, and I kissed it with a smile. He ran it down my stomach slowly, right between my breasts. I took the square and opened it so that I could roll it on.  

“Hold on, little girl,” he growled against my ear, his hand going to the bend of my knee. “This isn’t going to be gentle.”

“Yes, sir,” I moaned as he slammed inside of me. “Fuck, yes…”

We had to skip breakfast, and he sped on the way to the apartment. Even if he was running later than he wanted, Jasper pulled me to him for a long, deep, and wonderful kiss. He looked into my eyes and sighed deeply before he whispered, "once again, Isabella, thank you for your submission." 

“You’re welcome, sir,” I grinned, leaning into him. Reaching up, I pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you for taking such good care of me, and being such a wonderful friend.” I traced his lips with my fingers, pecking another quick kiss on them. “You don’t know how much I look forward to this time with you.”

“I do,” he smiled cheekily, giving me a quick kiss on the temple. I giggled softly. “I do, too,” he whispered in my ear sweetly.

"Have a good day," I said fervently.  

"After how it started?" He asked cheerfully with a smile. "How could it not be?" 

I walked into the apartment, feeling very light. All of my stress and worries were gone. My body ached pleasantly. And everything felt perfect for just a second. 

Putting my coat on the hook, I didn’t turn around when I heard a door open behind me. I didn’t want to. I hoped it was Tanya.  

"Bella," Edward called to get my attention. I groaned loudly, my head falling back. "Look, I just want to start by apologizing again. I realize now that I did not read the signs correctly, and I should not have touched you like that. I’m very sorry. I am a pig." 

Finally, I spun slowly in my spot. He took a step back when he saw my expression. My head cocked to the side, taking him in carefully. I crossed both of my arms over my chest. 

"How dare you think that I want to be your kinky side piece just because we have the same hobbies and I live in the same apartment as your girlfriend. Just because you're hot doesn't make you irresistible," I began.  

"And I fully realize that. I did not see it from your point of view, and of course, I respect you more than that," he stressed as he brought both of his hands up.  

“No, you don’t,” I insisted incredulously. “You’ve barely even looked at me before.”

“Because you weren’t that interesting before,” he countered defensively. 

“Fuck you,” I mumbled, going towards the kitchen. I was hungry and wanted to eat my new angry feelings. 

“No! Jesus. I don’t mean it like that. I mean, I didn’t know that I had a reason to be interested. Would you want me looking anyway? Seriously? You’re my girlfriend’s roommate! It’s been awkward enough with what she’s been doing-”

"What is she doing?' I demanded. He had said it before, but I didn't think much of it.  

He licked his lips slowly, looking away from me. “She’s been pointing out when you dress up, which has been a lot more lately, for one. And she talks about how cute and innocent you are, which if you understood what my thing is…” he trailed off, looking up towards the ceiling. “The whole timid deal.” Edward cleared his throat. “I need you to understand something, at least. I am attracted to you.”

I snorted. “I don’t believe you.”

“Why?” He asked, confused by my reaction. Edward looked away, lowering his voice. “Tanya has been teasing the hell out of me about it.” Shaking his head, he looked at me from underneath his thick copper eyelashes. “I’ve been fantasizing about you since before I saw you in that hotel room, Isabella-”

“Bella,” I corrected him. “Only Jasper gets to call me that.”

"Bella," he rectified quickly. "But since I saw you there, my mind has just run wild possibilities. I've never played with anyone with any regularity, but I've never known someone so well before either. Maybe we could-" 

“You don’t know me,” I interrupted. “You don’t know me at all. You’ve never even tried to get to know me better. We just exist in the same space.”  

Edward licked his lips again. “I would like to know you better now.”

I groaned loudly. “You made me extremely uncomfortable yesterday. Why would I want to know you better, huh?” I asked angrily. “Why do you think you’re worth my time?”

“Well, I am a handsome and fairly wealthy doctor,” he claimed charmingly. He was trying to be funny. My eyes rolled so hard that I halfway expected them to pop out of my head and continue spinning on the floor. 

“Oh, my fucking god. You’re an idiot,” I mumbled, making another go for the kitchen, but he took a step towards it. 

“So I’ve been told by many people in the past twenty-four hours,” he grumbled petulantly. “I realize that my behavior was unacceptable, but-” Edward shrugged. “You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” 

I stared at him for a long minute, my mouth hanging open. “Do you really think that I would give up an evening with Jasper to be the extra in your threesome fantasy? Especially with what happened the other night? How did you get into medical school?” I questioned in annoyance. 

“You don’t have to be so rude,” he snapped. 

"You grabbed my ass in my own home! I can be as fucking unpleasant as I wish to be," I roared. He took a step back, his eyes going wide for a second before he looked me over from head to toe. 

“Holy shit. You’re so hot when you’re mad.”

“Are you fucking serious?” I demanded, throwing down my purse to the couch. 

"Yeah, I actually fucking am," Edward confidently replied. "I don't know why you don't believe me. Your ass, tits, and legs are fantastic, and you have a sweet face. Jasper has gone on and on about how sexy you are for months, and I see it now. I love your fire. I've never seen it before. Jesus, it's sexy."  

“Do you think you’re complimenting me right now?” I wondered dryly. “Because you’re not.” 

He looked away, thinking for a moment about what he wanted to say next. Edward licked his bottom lip. Then he looked back at me more certain of himself. "Last night, you said that you fantasized about me." I began to laugh, looking away from him in irritation. "We could do those things. You can plan the scenes, and I'll follow your scripts. I'll do whatever you want to make you trust me. I didn't mean to be a creep before." 

I laughed once mirthlessly. “You truly enjoy making people uncomfortable, don’t you?”

“Yeah, okay… I do. But, in my defense, I think you like being uncomfortable.” 

I squared my shoulders as I looked at him. “If I decide to play with you, I will let you know, but you will not bring it up again,” I informed him firmly. “That’s my fucking script if you want to prove that you’re not a goddamn creep. And Jasper says if you touch me without our permission again, he will, and I quote, rip your dick off and feed it to you for breakfast.” 

I picked up my purse off the sofa. Edward took a step towards me while reaching his hand up. “Bella-”

“Touch me. I dare you,” I growled viciously. He took an uncomfortable step back. I kept walking forward until he got completely out of my way. I had lost my appetite and decided to just go to my room. 

Tanya came stumbling out of her bedroom to the bathroom, her fluffy pink robe hanging half-open. She was just wearing panties underneath. Her face was deeply wrinkled with sleep. Drowsily, she looked between us.  

“You’re just supposed to apologize to her!” She grumbled. “Did he? Is he still being a pig?” I had a feeling she called him that a lot the night before, especially if that was his opening line too. 

“He did. I’m just letting him know how things are going to be from now on. So... Stop encouraging him,” I told her seriously. 

"Trust me, I won't do it anymore. I only did it for fun before I realized he couldn't keep his hands to himself, like a toddler." They were obviously still in the middle of their fight too, and she wasn't holding back her feelings. "I am sorry," she said to me, reaching for me almost nervously.  

"No." I went to her and hugged her tightly. "No, I don't think you were doing anything purposefully-" I stopped and shook my head. None of it mattered. "It's just embarrassing and uncomfortable." 

“It is,” she agreed.

I pulled away from Tanya. “I’m going to bed. This won’t come up again,” I told them both resolutely. She nodded her head quickly before turning her angry face to her boyfriend. 

“What did you say?” She hissed as I shut the door behind me. “You said you would apologize to her-”

“I did. I swear,” he snapped loudly back. I leaned against my door to listen, not that I really needed to. They were both loud people, standing right beside my room. “I did.”

“Obviously not very well.”

“Clearly,” he replied dryly. “Goddammit. I fucked up.”

Tanya said, “uh, you think?” before slamming the bathroom door practically in his face. When she locked her door, I did mine as well with a little smirk. Edward’s gamble had not paid off like he thought it would. I wondered if their relationship would handle it. But I decided I didn’t really care.

I crawled back into bed, once again, alone. Tucking myself in, I tried to pretend Jasper was just in the shower, and he would come back out in a few minutes to take me away from my anxieties once again.  



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10/3/2019

Locke. Chapter Eighteen: The Joule

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Chapter Eighteen: The Joule


Warning: this chapter contains graphic sexual descriptions. Reader discretion is advised. Intended for a mature audience only. (18+)


In the car on the way to Jasper, I realized that I hadn't given him my scenes. So much had been going on, and I had gotten distracted. Quickly, I sent them to his email just as I pulled up to the Joule. This hotel was even posher than the last. The halls were white granite and lined with an actual collection of fine art. Taking every step carefully, I needed the time to steady myself. 

With my head held high and my shoulders back, I knocked on his suite door. My heart thundered once again in my chest but for a different reason. 

As soon as Jasper opened it, I was in his arms and he lifted me up in the air. His mouth was on mine, kissing me wildly. He brought us stumbling back inside, shutting the door so hard that the whole wall rattled. Jasper slammed me against it, his arms under my ass so that I was lifted at least a foot in the air.  

“I’m going to rip out his spine for touching you,” he growled against my mouth before kissing me again. 

I quickly shook my head. “Don’t. He was just trying to get a reaction,” I murmured, my hands going to his collar so that I could hold onto him. We kissed again and again.

“And I’ll fucking give him one,” he swore before smashing his mouth to mine.

My fingers slid up the back of his neck into his hair. “I would never play without you,” I said against his lips. “I’m yours.”

He shook his head, his beautiful blue eyes looking into mine. “I’ve not collared you, Isabella. You don’t belong to me. Is that what you want?” He asked as he began to kiss my neck lightly. Slowly, he let me slid down the door to my feet.  

“It doesn’t matter if you put one on me or not, I’m yours. I’m only your slut.” My head fell back against the wood. He hummed against my throat, his teeth moving over it as his hand slid over the other side. 

“Do I own your body?” He inquired against my ear. 

I nodded, my breathing picking up. “You own every part of me,” I promised, holding him in place as he began to suckle on my earlobe. He dragged his nose over my cheek before he began to kiss my lips again. 

He pulled back to look at me, a pretty smirk on his lips. “Do I?” 

“Yes, sir.”

He pushed open my coat, one of his big hands going to my neck again to make me look into his eyes. “Where did he touch you?”

Taking his hand, I put it on my stomach and used it to erase the memory of Edward’s. I moved it over my ribs until it went down to my back. He took over, sliding it down to grab me tightly.  

“No one gets to touch this ass but me. It belongs to me.”

“Yes, sir.”

He pushed my coat off the rest of the way until it fell to the floor with my bag. "All of this is mine." Jasper moved his hand over my stomach again and up to my breasts. "These are mine." He slid his gentle fingers up my chest to my neck, moving his thumb over my lips. "These are mine, and this is mine." He pushed his thumb into my mouth over my tongue before dragging it over my chin. "And if he touches you without either of our permission again, I will rip his dick off and feed it to him for fucking breakfast." 

I giggled, I couldn’t help myself. Biting my lip for a moment, I brought my fingers to his collar. “Kiss me,” I begged. “Please.” I didn’t want to think about anything else but his mouth.  

Once again, his arms went under my ass and lifted me into the air. My hands went to his neck, kissing him as deeply as I could. My shoes slipped from my feet and knocked loudly onto the hardwood floor. 

“Mine. My sub. My sweet girl,” he said between kisses. Pushing me against the door, we made out for so long that I lost track of time and probably reality. 

Finally, he put me down to my feet again after kicking my shoes out of the way. Jasper wrapped his fist around my braid, pulling my head back so that I would look in his beautiful blue eyes. I lifted my fingers up to his lips, and he lightly kissed them.  

“I brought a riding crop for you to use if you’d like to, and I sent you the scenes you wanted, sir,” I finally breathed. 

He rested his forehead against mine, smiling. “I saw that. My exquisite little overachiever. Three. My, you do have fantasies about me, don’t you?” 

“Yes, sir,” I smiled as his teasing. “So many.” 

Bringing my braid over my shoulder, Jasper began to play with the end. “How did you even get that many done so quickly?”

I bit my lip. “I wrote them in one night. Honestly, I couldn’t stop.”

Jasper chuckled softly. “Right after I asked for them?” I nodded, making him smile again in return. “You are such a good girl.” He leaned forward and kissed my lips lightly. “Hand me the riding crop.”

Smiling, I bent over and quickly pulled it out of my purse. He took it from my grip, feeling the weight in his palm before he very carefully ran the tip over my lips. "Go put your hands on the end of the bed," he instructed evenly, but I could see his excitement too.  

I did as I was told, and he walked to his laptop to start a song very quietly. He put his phone underneath me, directly in front of my eyes, on the mattress. On the screen was one of the stories that I had written. "Read out loud to me, Isabella." 

“Yes, sir,” I breathed, blushing. I probably hadn’t read something out loud in years, let alone the porn that I had personally written for the beautiful man staring at my ass. A thrill ran down my spine that I was positive that he saw.  

Closing my eyes for just a second to calm myself, I opened my mouth, but then I realized it was the scene where I was in control. My voice caught in my throat. The riding crop struck me once gently. "What are you waiting for? Read." 

"Um, this is the scene where I-" I stuttered, and he hit me once more. I wasn't sure if he had even enough time to skim them over.  

He leaned over so that his lips were close to my ear. "Where you have me on my knees for you, Isabella? Worshiping you? Is that what you want me to do? Submit to you?" 

“I would love to switch with you, if you were ever comfortable with it,” I admitted as I flushed a furious shade of red. “I feel so confident when I’m with you like this. I can’t imagine how it would feel the other way around, sir.”

“I’ve never done it before,” he informed almost lightly. “I’ve never found someone that I was relaxed enough around to even consider it. One day,” he hit my thighs each twice, “I might make an exception for you.” He dragged the crop between my legs. “I have to admit, I find it intriguing in a way that I never have before. My perfect submissive, dominating me. I’ve never even considered it before you.”

“I would never do anything that you didn’t enjoy as well,” I answered in a tiny whisper. 

"I know." The riding crop connected again and then once more. I drew in a quick breath. "That's why I think that I might actually appreciate the experience with you. I trust you completely, Isabella." The toy ran over the back of my knees. "Now, read, little girl. Just because I'm not beating your ass for talking tonight, it doesn't mean you don't have to follow my orders." I smiled as he spanked me again. The no-talking rule had undoubtedly gone out the window.  

"I'm sorry, sir." I swallowed the heavy lump in my throat, trying to gather my thoughts. "I know this isn't exactly what you wanted me to write," I began, the crop hitting me again. "But if I were allowed to have an evening in control with you, I would want us to go out somewhere nice for dinner." Again, this time it moved down my thigh after. "To have a lovely drawn-out meal, so that every moment the anticipation would build. Every second out, I would make sure you were thinking about what I was going to do to you when we are alone. But even in public, you would serve me. Beyond being the perfect gentleman, I would have you feed me, slowly, so that I could savor every bite." The riding crop went over the other thigh and my ass before striking it twice more. "You would only be allowed to eat what I fed you. And you would thank me for the pleasure after every single bite." Again, harder and right between my legs. "After dinner, I would like to go for a walk with you at perhaps a park, under the stars. Depending on how secluded a spot we could find, I would have you show me how much you enjoyed our meal together." 

“And how would I do that?” He asked, striking me again and again. His voice was warm and smooth. 

I licked my lips to moisten them. “That depends on how private the spot is, sir,” I answered. I hadn’t written that part. 

“How would you like me to? If everything was perfect.”

“I would have you eat me, just push my skirt up and force you onto your knees in front of me. But I would only let you use your lips at first. I would make you kiss every inch perfectly before I even let you use your tongue.” Again, again, again, he found a new spot to strike. I rocked in place, moaning as I closed my eyes. I wasn’t looking at the phone anymore, my fingers curling into the blanket underneath me.

“What would you have me do when we were alone?” He asked as he traced my spine. He drew my braid over my shoulder with the riding crop before moving it along my cheek. 

“I would teach you the meaning of the word worship.” The end moved over the back of my ankles, sliding slowly over the seam of my thigh highs. 

He swatted me harder than before, making me gasp. “How?”

“I would have you undress me slowly, kissing every newly exposed inch. Even if it took hours. You would start at my feet and work your way up, saving my pussy for very last.”

Jasper hummed, and his hand gripped my ass tightly. "And how would you have me worship my delicious pussy, Isabella?" He asked, his hand gripping me between my legs through the skirt to make sure I got his point. Even if we switched, it was his. "There are so many fun ways." 

Biting my lip, my thighs pressed together a little as I thought about it. “I want to sit on your face so that I can play with your cock all I want. But I won’t let you cum until I’m ready. And I won’t be for hours.”

“Will you let me?” He questioned in amusement. 

I nodded, biting my lip deeper. I probably left marks. "But you would only be allowed to do so inside of me. Because my pussy might be yours, but your cum is always mine, sir." The riding crop ran over my cheek then over my trembling mouth.  

"Is that so?" I nodded my head confidently. "Open your mouth." I did, and he brought the shaft between my teeth. "Don't drop this." I closed it quickly, holding the riding crop between my teeth. Jasper walked behind me and pushed my skirt up, exposing my ass to the air. He ran his fingers over my thighs tenderly, almost teasingly.  

He knelt behind me and began to kiss between my legs, lightly spreading them over the fabric of my panties and my bare skin. I moaned softly, closing my eyes tighter. He moved slowly, his mouth so firm. His breath flowed over my skin in lovely waves. Humming loudly at my taste, he pushed his tongue underneath my underwear. 

“Unbutton your shirt.”

I hurriedly undid it, not even opening my eyes as I balanced on one hand and worked them open with the other. He stood up to help me remove it. Jasper kissed my neck from behind, his hands moving over my stomach while I still held the riding crop between my teeth. Slowly, he undid my skirt and pushed it down until it was on the floor in a puddle at my feet. 

“On your hands and knees on the bed, Isabella.”

I crawled onto the mattress in front of him. Both of his hands went over my ass, giving it a good squeeze. He struck it several times with his bare hands. 

“Turn around,” he ordered. 

When I came to face him, he lifted my chin up and leaned down to peck at my lips before finally taking the crop back in his fist. Jasper kissed me again furiously once it was out of my mouth, holding my braid in his other hand. When he pulled away, he unbuttoned his jeans and removed his erection. “Show me how you worship.” 

Slowly and lovingly, I kissed every inch of him. Losing myself, I simply enjoyed the feeling of his skin on mine. Every inch was perfect, warm, soft, and smooth. “Oh, yes. Use your tongue now,” he purred happily, enjoying every second. He took himself in his hand and lazily jerked off against it, running his head over it. It brushed over my lips, making my skin wet. 

"That's it, my sweet little slut," he cooed as his head fell back against his shoulder. "Fuck, so good. Your mouth is so good," he murmured quietly. "I want to fuck it now." Jasper pushed himself into my mouth without any more warning. I hummed loudly, leaning forward to take more. Tracing my ass with the toy, he would smack my bare skin then yanked my hair with the other.  

After a few pleasant minutes, he pulled out of my mouth with a pop. He tugged me back by my braid, my mouth wet and open from his pleasuring. Leaning down, he kissed my lips slowly.  

When he pulled away, Jasper picked up his phone and switched it to something else before putting it in front of me. He began to get undressed, taking a condom out of his pocket. He brought to my lips, and I kissed it with a smile. Getting behind me, he began to stroke between my legs.  

“I’m ready for another story, Isabella,” he informed me. “Read.”

"Yes, sir," I gasped when he pushed inside of me. He didn't bother to take off my panties, simply sliding them to the side.  

He had me read the other two stories in their entirety, not allowing me to cum until the very last word fell from my lips as I straddled his face. Jasper had already cum twice. When I was finally granted permission, my whole body shook all over with the force of it. I curled in, falling limp against his stomach while he held me in place with his tight fingers digging into my thighs.  

Jasper pushed me onto my back, taking my phone from my trembling grip. “Scene’s over,” he whispered in my ear, kissing my jaw. He was smiling to himself, covered in sweat and my cum. I wasn’t sure how his jaw was still working. 

“We were doing a scene?” I joked breathlessly, making him laugh quietly.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what we were doing,” he chuckled.  

I rolled into him. “You’ve never let me talk like that before. I mean, before the stories.”

Running a hand over his mouth, Jasper stretched a little before bringing his arm around me. “Mm, it wasn’t exactly our average night, though,” he countered. “Seriously, do I need to hurt him?”

I quickly shook my head. “No. I don’t think he meant any harm.”

“But he touched you-”

“I should have just told him ‘no’ to start with,” I interjected. 

“You have the right to take time to think about it.” He grumbled softly, “he didn’t have your permission.”

Looking away from him, I laid my head on his shoulder. "No, he didn't. But men like Edward hardly ever gets told no. He probably thought I'd melt, and he'd get a threesome with Tanya and me. And if it weren't for you, I might have. But I have more self-respect than that. Pushy asshole." 

Jasper sighed. “I’m sorry. This is my fault.”

Laughing, I rolled to my side to look at him again. "How do you figure that?" 

“I invited that prick-”

I couldn’t help but snort. “And I would have been totally cool if it had been literally anyone else but him. Seriously, we should play with Alice, just so that we’re not traumatized forever.”  

He chuckled again quietly. “Maybe. Probably not soon, though. Traumatized is probably the right word for that. Come on, let’s grab a shower.” 

When we got out, I changed into my red crop top and comfortable high-waisted cotton panties with a thick white band. He had put on a pair of dark gray boxer briefs, barely finishing drying off. Water still clung to his hair. Coming to stand behind me, he moved his warm hand over my stomach. 

“So pretty,” he murmured, kissing my cheek as he looked at us in the mirror. I smiled, running my hand over his cheek. “Do you want to order some dinner? I’m starving.”

“Mm, sure.”

Playfully, Jasper grabbed my ass. “Good, that means you don’t have to put on pants.”

“Do you think I would go out in this shirt?” I laughed.

“You would if I commanded you to do so. With a little skirt,” he smirked to himself as he imagined it. 

I giggled a little, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I might ‘red’ on that one.”

“Why?” He laughed in return, shocked. 

“Tummy,” I said in a cute little voice, poking it. “This is too white to be seen by the general public.”

“Aw!” He whined playfully, his lips going to my ear. “But it’s so cute. And your tits look so good in this.” I dissolved into giggles as he began to kiss my neck lightly to the point that it made me very ticklish. “Can I take that picture of you at least?” He pouted a little. “Just one.”

Slowly I nodded, biting my bottom lip. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Go get on your bed on your knees.”

I smirked a little. “Mm, yes, sir.” I wiggled my ass as I went towards it. 

He chuckled. “If you do that, we’re going to end up skipping dinner. Sit back on your heels.” I did what he asked, brushing my fingers through my wet hair. He took several pictures quickly. 

Laughing with embarrassment and nerves, I looked away from him. He steadily took more photos. “Oh, a picture? Just one?” 

“Well,” he sniffed mischievously. “You know, it’s for references. You can’t have too many.” I laughed at his answer, making him grin. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. What would you like for dinner?” I asked as I held my hand out to him. 

“Hmm…” He drew out, crawling onto the bed towards me. “I don’t know, but I think I’d like some cake for dessert.”  


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10/1/2019

Locke. Chapter Seventeen: In a Corner

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Chapter Seventeen: In a Corner


Only two days passed after I spoke to Jasper on the phone before I got a message from him. “I’m going to be in town for just the evening. Would you be able to join me?”

It was already three in the afternoon, but I didn’t have anything planned. Most of my day had been dedicated to writing and editing alone in my bedroom. I smiled wildly, biting my lip as I read it three times in a row. I couldn’t believe how excited I was. I missed him terribly. The days we had spent together had spoiled me. 

“Yes, sir.”

“Is it too short notice to say six?” He asked instantly. 

"No, sir," I grinned. It didn't matter if I did have other plans or if it was short notice. I would find a way to spend time with him. "Should I bring my red pajamas?" I inquired hopefully.  

“I would like you to, but I have to wake up at five and be at the airport by eight.”

I couldn’t care less about that if I tried. “That’s fine. I don’t mind waking up early,” I replied with a big smile on my face. I just wanted to fall asleep beside him again. But if I got lucky, we wouldn’t get any at all.  

My phone flashed in my hand, bringing me out of my fantasy world. “Good. Bring them. I forgot to take a picture last time,” he answered. “See you then, Isabella.”

“Yes, sir,” I repeated. 

I didn't have time to cook. I barely had time to get ready. Even though I wasn't expecting him this quickly, I was so happy about it. I was practically dancing as I got dressed. My shopping earlier in the week had been for him, and I got a new, very tight, light gray pencil skirt that went to my knees. My cream blouse was purposefully almost see-through, and you could easily make out the black lace flowers of my bra through it. Braiding my hair down my shoulder, I wore my lips bright red again. To go with my new outfit, I also got some sheer black stockings with the seam in the back with patent leather red heels. I felt sexy and ready for anything that he had planned for me.   

Sticking my riding crop in my big purse along with a change of clothes, I put on an extra spray of my expensive perfume before leaving my room. When I came out, Edward was standing in the living room in his forest green scrubs. He was hanging up his coat on one of the hooks beside the door before stretching to pop his back. He slowly turned and lazily smiled at me as he appraised my appearance. 

"You look incredible, Bella," he purred, turning to fully appraise me. Edward had never looked at me like that before. He was a predator, and I felt like prey.  

"Um, thank you," I said, quickly walking to the sofa to pick up my coat that I left there when I went out earlier in the day. I immediately put it on to cover myself. "Where's Tanya?" 

He took a step around the couch. “I beat her here by a few minutes. We decided to meet here first so she can change and get her things. She shouldn’t be too much longer,” he replied as his eyes moved over my chest. I tugged the coat in tighter with one of my hands. He slowly ran his tongue over his teeth. “I would have you dress like this for me all the time. Are you meeting Jasper?”

“Yes,” I murmured as I pulled my hair out the back of my collar. 

He smirked a little, biting his bottom lip. “Have you spoken to him?”

“No,” I answered simply. 

Edward cocked his head to the side, still looking me over with his hands in his pockets. “Why not?”

I laughed, shaking my head a little. “Um… He’s been a little busy. You know, with his work solving the murders of children.”

“Well, he’s not going to be busy with serial killers tonight,” he countered, taking a step towards me. I felt like I had nowhere to go. Edward pushed my coat away before sliding his hand across my stomach to my side. “You could talk to him when you get there.”

My mouth opened a little, my eyes focusing on his lips that were so close to mine. It felt as if at any moment that he would kiss me. "Um, I'm not supposed to speak when I get there, actually," I automatically responded.  

He clicked his tongue in false disappointment, his hand moved up my ribs before stopping just under my breast. “And you would be a good little sub, wouldn’t you? Well. Why don’t we just call him? You can speak now.”

And then he brought his phone out of his pocket and quickly found Jasper’s number. My eyes went wide with shock, a gasp falling from my mouth. Edward put it on speaker, and the phone rang only once before he answered. It all happened so fast. 

“Hale,” Jasper stated almost in annoyed boredom. 

“Hey, man. It’s Edward. Do you have a second?” He started very casually. 

“Uh, yeah. I have a few minutes. What do you need?”

Edward smiled at me again, his hand sliding down my waist and to my back as he pulled me a little bit closer. “So, I was hoping to talk to you again about Bella. I was wondering what your opinion would be if she did decide to play with me?”

There were several beats of silence. “Well, as I said before, my opinion doesn’t really matter. She’s a grown woman with a mind of her own. If she wanted to play with you, it would be her choice and not mine.”

He licked his bottom lip, his fingers curling against my back. “Well, she keeps saying that she’d have to talk to you first. And I don’t think she would do it unless it was made completely clear by you that you don’t care. But I think she wants to.” Edward winked at me. 

Clearing his throat, Jasper drew a deep breath. "If she asks, I will, but she should know that I'm not her owner and she does not have to ask my permission for anything that she does when she's not with me," he explained very seriously. His tone was almost angry. He had never spoken to me in that voice before, not even when he was mad. "As I've said before, she is not my property, nor will I treat her as such. As much as I care about her, I will not dictate her life. I respect her too much for that."   

He brought his hand to my ass, pulling me towards him. I had never been so close to Edward, my chest to his. I had to bend my head back to look at him. He seemed so pleased with himself. "See, Bella? You don't have to talk to him now," he concluded with a smirking sort of grin, half crooked and downright cocky. It was like he had just won a little victory.  

“Bella’s there?” Jasper's voice changed. He was shocked, his tone going higher. I had been too stunned to say anything. My eyes felt as if they were going to pop out of my head the entire time. Blood whooshed past my ears as my blood pressure began to rise.  

His fingers squeezed again. "Yes, she's right here, and I must say, I am very jealous of you tonight. Her ass looks fucking unbelievable in this tight little skirt she has on. I have half a mind to carry her off like an animal into the woods. I think I'd like to tie her to a tree and fuck her senseless." His hand tightened around my cheek, pushing me to him so that I could feel his erection against my stomach. "So, what do you think, Bella? Should I? Would you like that?" 

“No.” I pulled out of his grip finally, nearly tripping into the chair behind me, but I managed to scoot around it. Straightening my shoulders, I looked at him dead in the eyes. “I think I was telling you that I needed to talk to Jasper to buy myself some time to find a way to politely say no.” I saw him instantly deflate, my anger swelling. “No. I don’t want to play with you. You don’t have permission to touch me and how dare you corner me like this and-” I stopped, taking a deep breath to calm myself down. I realized the man I was meeting was still on the other side of the phone, listening to us. “Jasper, honey, I’m probably going to be a little late. I need to tell this fool off.”

"Do I need to hurt him?" He seriously asked. Edward looked down at his phone in shock, almost as if he had forgotten that he had called his friend in the first place. His stunt was not paying off as he expected it to.    

“No. He’s just an arrogant asshat who needs to learn that just because he wants something doesn’t mean he gets it.” I directed my anger towards the idiot standing in front of me, pointing a sharp finger at his chest. “You have to earn the right to touch me because I am fucking worth it. You do not get to feel me up because you’re bored and your girlfriend isn’t here to entertain you. I am not an easy itch scratcher. You only want me because it would be convenient for you, not because you’re actually attracted to me or even care about me in the slightest. So, you sir, can kindly fuck right off.”

He looked offended, taking a step back. “Bella, give me a little more credit than that.” He reached for me. “Look, I sincerely-”

I swatted his outstretched hand and took a step back. “No.”

Edward wrinkled his nose. “You know, for an eager slut-”

"Hey, motherfucker! You don't get to call her that. I can because I have her permission. You do not. You will speak to her respectfully, or I will render you fucking speechless. Do I make myself clear?" Jasper roared over the phone. He was menacing while not even there. It wasn't a threat, but a promise. Not only could he rip this pretty boy to shreds, but he would do so with great pleasure.   

“Yes,” Edward breathed, looking away from me in embarrassment as his cheeks filled with blood. “I apologize. I’m sorry. I obviously misread the situation.” 

I suddenly realized that I had nothing else to say to him. “I’ll be there as soon as possible, sir,” I said firmly, turning towards the door and not looking at Edward again. I probably slammed it in his face. I could hear Jasper begin to yell over the phone. Leaning against it, I took a deep breath to try to slow my wildly beating heart.  

Tanya was just coming down the hallway. She smiled when she first saw me but then realized that I was fuming mad. She began to pick up her pace. 

“What’s wrong?” She put her hands on my shoulders, immediately worried. “Did something happen? Are you okay?”

I looked back towards the door then again to her. I wasn't going to lie. "Edward grabbed my ass, and if he does it again, I'm going to fucking hurt him," I told Tanya seriously.  

“What?” She looked at the apartment doorway, confused. “Why the fuck did he touch you?”

“Because he’s fucking entitled.”

She made a little face. “He grabbed your ass? Really?”

I nodded, looking away from her. "He keeps trying to talk to me about doing a scene... And I just flat out had to tell him no. I thought about it, and it would make me uncomfortable. He needs to just... stop," I informed her frankly. "It would have been fine if he asked and gave me time and space, but-"  

Edward popped his head out of the apartment, finally. Either Jasper was done with him, or he hung up the phone on him. "Look, I'm really sorry. I got carried away. I figured you liked more aggressive men. I mean, from what I understand-"  

"Hey! Consent is fucking sexy!" I snarled, turning to look at him with my hands on my hips. "Do you know what's not? Being pressured into a sexual situation that you're not ready for. You know what? It's a shame. It really is. It's what I've wanted for years," I snapped, unable to keep it inside anymore. "Literally years! But not like this. Why did you have to force yourself on me?" I demanded. "I've literally fantasized about every possible thing you could do to me, but not once was it while being a fucking creep!" 

“Edward!” Tanya said his name angrily, matching my posture with her hands on her hips as she came to stand beside me. “We’ve talked about this! You can’t get in people’s personal space like that. It makes them uncomfortable!” She spoke to him like she was scolding a child in preschool. 

"You're one to talk!" He exclaimed, starting to feel defensive. "I'm sorry!" He said to me again, putting his hand on his heart."Really! I am! Jesus! I didn't mean-" He stopped and looked back at my roommate. "And you know what? You have been touching and talking about her for fucking weeks, and I'm sorry, I got over-excited and overconfident. I thought she was just shy and nervous. I thought she needed the opening. And I was kind of hoping you'd walk in on something," he over-admitted his goals for the evening. His eyes got wide when he realized.  

Both of us gasped at the same time and then shouted his name. He didn't like it, his face getting redder at being reprimanded by not one but two women. "Oh, come on! If it had worked, it would have turned you both on! I thought it was worth the risk!" 

“I’m so sorry,” Tanya mumbled to me before stomping towards the apartment. “And it would have been super hot if we had maybe talked about it before and everyone was cool with it. But you fucking didn’t. I realize that it’s one of your weird-ass little fetishes to make people uncomfortable and-” The door slammed behind her as she backed him up into our shared home. She was going to let him have it in a way that I never could. 

I ordered the car, stumbling my way towards the front of my building. It was ten minutes to six, and I wasn't going to be on time. "I'm probably going to be fifteen minutes late. I'm sorry. I'll be there as soon as possible," I texted Jasper, my hands trembling.  

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” I promised. “I’ll see you soon.” 


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