Key. Chapter Ten: In Control

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Chapter Eight: In Control

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The words made me stop. Jasper had never asked to play in such a way, but I had a feeling he didn’t want today to be about that. This wouldn’t just be fooling around for fun. He needed to be out of control in a way that he could handle. He had to relax and be taken care of. He needed to be told what to do by someone he trusted.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” I questioned gently.

“It’s what I need.”

“For how long?”

He didn’t hesitate. “All day. Please? For as long as you wish.”

I bit my lip, thinking it over. Finally, I spoke into his hair. “What are our safewords?” We hadn’t brought them up in months. There was no need for them. Even when we played in the weeks before. No one was worried about safewording. We were concerned about not doing it and not stopping before we hurt him. We were both eager to push boundaries at a slow pace.

“Red,” he whispered.

“Yellow, too. If you want to do this all day long, I need to know when to slow down, so you don’t have to use red. How is your arm?” I touched the spot gently through his t-shirt.

“It’s fine. My shoulder hurts a little. It’s just slightly sore. I think it’s because I’m so tense.”

I walked to my purse and took out a bottle. Inside were several of his powerful pain pills. I had never removed them. It quickly snapped one in half. Taking the water on the dresser over to him, I offered both to him, but he didn’t want them. It had been weeks since he had given in. Silently, he stared at them as if they would bite.

“Take it. I’m not asking.”

Blinking, he looked up at me in surprise at my tone. Finally, he took it from palm and popped it into his mouth. Jasper quickly swallowed, finishing half the water as he did. He licked his lips and grimaced at the bitter taste of the tablet.

I ran my fingers through his thick hair, making him look up at me. “Today won’t be about pleasure. Not yours, anyway.”

“I know,” he breathed.

“You had fun when I playfully smacked you around a little and used you as my personal sex toy. Can you handle doing what I say, even if you don’t like it?”

“There ain’t nothing you could have me do that I won’t enjoy,” he answered in a thick accent. “Especially with the pain pill.”

Smirking, I rolled my eyes. “Don’t assume everything will be sexual.”

“I’m not,” he promised in a whisper. I tugged on his blond curls, forcing him to focus on me. “I’ll do whatever you wish, Ma’am. Use me as your footstool.”

Gnawing on my lip, I considered what to do. I didn’t feel like a goddess at that moment. Honestly, I barely felt human. I hadn’t showered after flying the day before, and I was greasy, my hair sticking to my oily skin. Also, I was hungry. My stomach curled in on itself, ready to be filled with something comforting. If I had been alone, it would have been time to have a box of doughnuts.

“Okay. I’m going to take a shower. I’d like you to make me breakfast,” I said when I pulled away from him to walk towards the small bathroom we shared. 

“What would you like, ma’am?” My boyfriend asked in a tiny voice, turning around on the sofa to watch me go.

Throwing my nightgown onto the messy bed, I didn’t turn to look at him. “I thoughtfully make your meals all the time without having to ask, and I’ve provided all the things you need to do so. I think you’re more than capable of doing the same for me.”

“Yes, Goddess,” he breathed. I could feel his eyes on me as I went into the bathroom for my shower. I would be a little mean and biting. My tone was sharp in a way he had never heard before.

Stopping in the door frame, I still didn’t turn. My fingers curled around the jamb. “I’m not pleased with your behavior this morning, Jasper. Lying to your boss is unacceptable. There was no reason to do so, other than to avoid explaining yourself. I won’t make things easy for you today.” 

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you should have spoken to me before you became overwhelmed. I don’t care if I’m asleep. I don’t want you to feel like that alone. You won’t hide your emotions from me. It’s gotten you in trouble before, and it will again.”

“Yes, Goddess,” he answered more firmly. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want an apology. I want a different outcome in the future.” With my back straight and my chin held high, I stepped into the bathroom. 

In the shower, I took my time. I had to think about what I wanted to do. I hadn’t been prepared. Of course, I wanted to play and thought about all the silly things, but this was different. It was challenging to focus and get in the right mindset, but I needed to. Jasper required something from me, and I had to give it to him.

Blow-drying my hair, I got perfectly ready before wrapping in one of the terrible towels and coming out to find my clothes. The room smelled of bacon and coffee. I smiled to myself but said nothing as he continued to work. There were already things on the table, waiting for me.

I slipped on some cute panties, a tiny pair of shorts, a camisole, and knee socks. Then I braided my hair over my shoulder so it would be out of the way. It wasn’t the uniform of a dominatrix, but I wanted to be comfortable.

When I walked into the small kitchen area, he was slicing fruit with his back to me. Jasper hadn’t paused since I came out of the restroom. He looked up and smiled at my appearance, his eyes going over me before flicking quickly to his work again. “May I ask what the rules are on speaking, Goddess?”

“I want you to talk as much as you need to,” I explained as I rested against the counter. “I will hurt you today. So, I have to trust you’ll speak if you have to.”

The knife stilled on the matching cutting-board it came with. He looked up at me, his eyes warm. “You can’t hurt me.”

“Yes, I can. And I will.”

They went back to the banana, and he smiled again. I knew what that meant. He didn’t think it was true, and it was cute that I thought so. I would prove him wrong.

“I’m ready to eat,” I informed him as I pushed off of the countertop.

“Um, yes, ma’am. Just a moment,” Jasper mumbled as he hurriedly put the fruit on top of a bowl of yogurt with some strawberries, too. Then he picked up a plate with buttered toast and bacon on it.

I watched as he rushed to place everything on the table for me. There was even a newspaper and a mug of coffee, plus a small cup of juice waiting.

“Sit,” I demanded, pointing at the chair. When he did, I plopped down onto his lap and got more comfortable. “Thank you. This looks very nice. Have you eaten anything?”

“No, ma’am,” he sighed as he pushed his face into my hair from behind. His nose skimmed over my neck, almost making me shiver. He traced his lips over the chain of the lock necklace that I never took off.

Taking a nibble of toast, I chewed for a moment as I considered him. I brought the triangle up to his lips. He didn’t want to take it, just like the pill, but I wouldn’t budge. I raised my eyebrows. I would start the morning with a good slap if I needed to. Slowly, he took a large bite before leaning in to kiss my cheek.

After a sip of coffee, I unfolded the paper. It was the morning’s news that must have been just delivered. I wondered if the apartment came with a subscription or if Jasper got it for work. The front page was unsurprisingly politics. It was most days. I flipped it to the next one to see if it had anything local. That would be more interesting.

I ate breakfast and read the newspaper as if it was a typical morning, feeding him a bite every time I did so. He wrapped one of his arms around my waist, holding onto me comfortingly. His fingers kept curling against my stomach, just under the fabric of my shirt. I realized he was reading over my shoulder, what he could without his glasses, anyway. I brought it up higher, saying nothing.

“I didn’t notice all you did for this place last night. Thank you. It’s already so much better than it was,” he said when we had finished eating. I folded the paper, turning it to the next page.

“I’m not done yet,” I answered because it was true. Next, I would get a few softer towels. Those could easily make it home with us, at least. Those provided were terrible and scratchy. And not nearly big enough to cover my ass.

He put his lips close to my ear. “I don’t suppose you’d allow me to give you my credit card for future purchases.”

“If I need help with anything, I’ll ask for it,” I replied. I brought my fingers so that they were under his chin, scratching it gently. I was still looking at the paper, reading about the weather. It would reach sixty in the next week and stay that way for a while, though a couple of days would be rainy. They would be perfect for writing. I was hoping for cold, maybe even a bit of snow. But I wasn’t that lucky.

“I don’t know how else to take care of you,” he whispered, almost pained by the words. “You’ve been doing nothing but caring for me. I don’t do enough.”

I turned to look at him. “That’s not what you need to be thinking about right now. I don’t require taking care of, anyway. Not now, not ever. Today, I will tell you what I want and need. All you should concern yourself with is this moment and what I require you to do.”

He pushed his lips against my cheek, and I could feel his fluttering eyelashes against my skin. “Yes, Goddess.”

“Go clean up the mess you made. I need to get prepared.”

As he washed dishes, I pulled out some stuff from one of my suitcases. My riding crop, the flogger, a new paddle, a belt of my own, along with a few other things. I laid them out on the bedside table. When Jasper finished, he stood by the couch and waited for me.

“Do you make it a habit to lie to your colleagues?” I asked with my back turned to him when I was as equipped as I could be.

“No, ma’am,” he breathed.

“Strip,” I ordered, picking up my belt. When I turned around, he was hurriedly throwing off his shirt before yanking off his pants. “Put them away neatly. You shouldn’t be rushing to your punishment.”

Calming down, he folded them before placing them on top of his suitcase in the small closet. Jasper was half hard, still pleased to be standing in the buff. 

“On your knees.” He dropped to the floor in front of me. His head came to my breasts. Gently, I pushed him, so he was sitting on his ankles. I made him stare into my eyes. “I’m going to punish you. For lying and for holding back during the week and not telling me about your feelings. I’m going to spank you. And do you know how many I’ll give you?”

Jasper tried not to smile, his mouth curling to one side just for a moment before he caught himself. “No, Goddess.”

“Until you tell me it hurts,” I answered earnestly, running my thumb over the corner of his lip. “I won’t stop until you do. And I doubt it’ll take all day. You will count, too. I want you to know exactly how many it takes.” His cheeks darkened, nodding his head in understanding.

“On your hands and knees, elbows locked.” 
 
I struck him once with my hand. It was gentle, just a warm-up. “One.” With each hit, I got harder, moving up his ass and thighs. I could tell that he was enjoying it because he became fully erect and tried not to sigh the numbers. We got to twenty this way. Hitting him as hard as I could with my palm, he finally gave in and groaned as he threw his head back. “Twenty-one.”

“You moan like a whore,” I teased. His head fell forward, and I knew it was to hide his smile. I took my belt into my dominant fist. My first strike wasn’t light. Jasper gasped in shock. “I’m sorry. What was that?”

“Twenty-two, Goddess.”

By sixty, I could see it on his face. I saw the strain on his perfect features. But I would not slow down. This is what he wanted. He could tell me it hurt at any time.

Panting, his eyes were closed tightly as I walked to get the paddle. It had been meant for me. It was long, black, rectangular, and made from leather. I held it under his chin to force him to gaze at me. “How many more do you think you can take? Are you willing to make yourself uncomfortable for days just because you’re too much of a man to say you’ve had too much?” Walking behind him, I examined his red, angry skin. He rocked on his knees, his elbows buckling with sixty-one. “Stop worrying about your pride and let go.”

“Sixty-two. Sixty-three,” he panted. “Sixty-four. Sixty-five.” Jasper whimpered, tears coming from his eyes.

“Why do you want to hurt yourself?”

“I need to.” I hit him again. “Sixty-six.”

“Why?”

“Because I should have done my job better. People died because of my incompetence,” he cried.
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“No. People died because of that heap of trash shielded by cash. If they allowed you to do your job properly in the first place, you would have gotten him months before. You cannot and will not blame yourself for any of his actions.”

He shook his head, so I hit him three more times in a row. “Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine. The SWAT member who died-”

“Jasper, would you want him to feel guilty if the same thing happened to you? He was doing his job, just like you were. And the only person to blame will be punished because of you.” I struck him again. “You will give closure to so many.”

“No,” he whimpered. “It hurts.”

I dropped the paddle to the side. When I walked around, I tugged his hair so that he sat back again. He was weeping openly, his eyes sealed shut. I wrapped my arms around his head and pulled him to my chest. His arms tangled around my waist as he cried into my breasts. 

When he slowed, I put my finger under his chin so he would look into my eyes. “Are you going to lie to your boss again?”

“No, Goddess,” he promised, his watery smile small and curved slightly to one side.

“I could hurt you if I wanted to, but I chose not to. Don’t doubt that I have the ability. When you smirk and roll your eyes, it’s insulting.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean it like that. I know you could cause me pain, but you could never hurt me. There is no damage you could inflict that could be worse than what I do to myself.” His fingers curled around my back and into my shirt. “I don’t mean to insult you. It’s the last thing I’d want.”

“Good. Now… Is this helping?” I whispered into his locks.

“Yes,” he swore right away. “Very much so, Goddess.”

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Thanks to Gina for proofreading this chapter!

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💛💛💛Hi everyone! Key is taking next week off (April 13-17) so I can focus on my daughter's 15th birthday! (😭cries in old lady😭) Key will return April 21st with Chapter Eleven: On a Thumb Drive. See you then and stay healthy!💛💛💛