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4/28/2020

Key. Chapter Thirteen: In the Snow

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Chapter Thirteen: In the Snow

And that’s how our first week went by in Albany. After the chaos of the first couple of days, it calmed down completely, and we quickly fell into a routine. Every night, I had dinner waiting for Jasper when he got home. Sometimes Sam joined us. They got their first day off on Sunday a week after I arrived. He was understandably exhausted and needed a break.

We spent most of the day in bed, either napping or having sex. Though he relaxed and drew for a couple of hours while I lay beside him on my stomach and worked on my computer. The picture was of me from behind, one of my feet in the air. Jasper added an insane amount of detail to my toes.

It didn’t take me long to figure out by the way the boys spoke that we would be there for a while. There was too much information that needed to be combed through slowly. There were thousands of pieces of evidence, dozens of crime scenes, and hundreds of witnesses to deal with. They had to go over everything they ever handled for the case. They weren’t just going by the book. These men and women were correcting typos and editing as they went. Their work would be of a higher standard.

I didn’t mind, though. Our shabby apartment was becoming my tiny piece of heaven. I was wrapped in our happiness.

When the phone rang in the darkness, I whined loudly and covered my face with the blankets because it was so cold. Jasper squeezed me closer to him, not waking up. I pushed him gently with my elbow and startled him. He sat up quickly, taking half of the covers with him. I snatched some of them back.

“Fuck, it’s freezing,” he moaned, rubbing his palms into his eyes. Then he realized his phone was ringing. He brought it up to his ear. “Hale.”

“Hey!” Sam loudly said on the other side. “We’re getting a snow day.”

“What?” he asked, confused by his words. They weren’t in a Texan’s vocabulary.

“They shut everything down for the day. I mean, everything. That storm went a different way than they expected and dumped a shit ton of snow in the middle of the night. Go look outside.”

Jasper was slow-moving, so I got out of bed and slipped on my robe before padding to the door. When I opened it, I gasped in happy surprise. It was a winter wonderland. The parking lot was piled with massive mounds of snow that used to be cars. And it covered the road in a fine layer, but it was still coming down at a steady rate. The sun was just starting to come up, the sky barely glowing a faint muted purple. It looked like one of those globes from a gift shop.

Coming to stand behind me, his hand rested on the small of my back. “Wow. Would you look at that? How pretty,” he stated in a tiny voice, his accent coming out thick.

“I can’t wait to go play in it,” I told him in a giggle.

“Thanks for letting me know,” he informed his friend, remembering he was still on the phone.

“Sure thing. I’m going back to bed. See you later,” he mumbled before ending the call. Jasper put it in his pocket without looking away from the scene.

I stared at the glistening white fluff in awe. “I’ve never seen anything like it before. It’s so beautiful.”

His fingers moved over my shoulder. “Yes, it is,” he agreed before pecking my cheek. “Now, get your ass inside and shut the door before you let all the bought air out. You’re barefoot, little girl.”

Giggling, I closed the door before turning so I could hug him. “I’m so excited!” I hopped in place, kissing his lips several times.

“There’s a park about a quarter of a mile away if you want to walk to it after some breakfast,” he grinned at my attitude.

“Yes!” I beamed. “I’ll go start it now!”

“No. I’ll get it,” he offered, stopping me from pulling away from him. “Why don’t you start some music or something?”

“Okay.” I melted into him a little, pressing my face into his chest so I could breathe him in.

I put a playlist on his laptop and started the coffee before slipping on some long johns I got at the thrift store because it was so chilly compared to the previous week. They were bright red and had buttons for the butt flap. They were kind of dorky, and I knew I looked silly in them, but they were very comfortable.

Jasper chuckled from the kitchen, watching me as I put on my second pair of socks. “What?” I asked over my shoulder.

“Your ass is barely contained in that thing when you bend over, and it’s just…” he chuckled more. “Mmm-mm-mmm… Those poor buttons have their work cut out for them.”

I snorted then wiggled my butt at him for good measure. Fleece-lined leggings went on next as well as a long-sleeved shirt. I would put on more layers before we left. I knew I was too thin-skinned for the icy weather. By the time I finished, Jasper was plating two bacon sandwiches for us with tomato and avocado.

“That looks great!” I praised. He pulled me down onto his lap with a plop.

“I have mastered the art of microwaved bacon,” he stated with a grin, sitting his chin on my shoulder. “It’s one of the few things I know how to cook.”

After enjoying a leisurely meal, we finished getting dressed and went outside together. We decided to try to go to the grocery store for supplies first. Thankfully, they were open but were understandably busy. We weren’t in a rush, though. He picked out a pack of beer and two big bottles of wine, as well as some whiskey.

“Oh, that’s how we’re staying warm,” I teased.

“Only partly,” he chuckled. “It’s not all for today.”

“Aw, why not?” I whined playfully.

“You can get a hangover, I cannot. I will probably have work tomorrow. As it is, I still owe you for drinking so much when we were apart.”

I pouted slyly as we waited in line to check out. “Obviously, I was just having some issues being away from you, too. Plus, your brother-in-law is a terrible influence,” I responded before smiling innocently. “I had a lot of fun with your sister, though. She’s cool. Alice likes her, too. They went to lunch a couple of days ago. I think we’re all going to become friends.”

“Wow,” he answered, perplexed and distracted, which was exactly what I wanted to happen. Men were surprisingly easy, sometimes. “I hope she says nothing-”

Laughing, I looked away from him. “Sweetie, she knows.” I peeked back. “We talked all about it. She was worried about me. It was sweet. She thought I was too cute and innocent to like it rough,” I spoke the last sentence in a baby voice as I wiggled my shoulders. “She didn’t want you popping your kink up on me, which I actually really appreciate. Because can you imagine being surprised?” I grimaced and made my eyes wide. “She probably thought I was virginal. Ha.”

Jasper pinched his nose, groaning softly. “Why have my girlfriend and sister talked about our sex lives?”

“I didn’t tell her what we do! She asked me questions about BDSM in general, and I answered them for her. I think she was worried you were going to just tie me up and beat me at random, which… I WISH,” I continued to tease him. His cheeks were slightly pink. “Alice won’t say anything about you to her, I promise. She’s not that much of a pervert. But they’ve been talking about the lifestyle. And I told her about my books. She’s going to read one of my romantic ones.”

He made a face. “I can’t imagine her being remotely interested in that. The scene or anything.”

“Oh, she’s interested. Not into it, but Rose is curious why I enjoy it. But she doesn’t judge me for it. She may have judged you a little before we talked about it,” I giggled, leaning into him. He was standing behind me, his chest pressed to my back. “But I think it was more because she was worried about you. She was concerned it was keeping you from enjoying a normal life.”

“No, I was keeping myself from enjoying it,” he muttered. “I used it to hide from my emotions, so perhaps she was right to be.” Jasper put his arms around my waist. “Is she less so now?”

Nodding, I scratched my nails over his hands. “You only needed to find the right woman so you can have the best of both worlds. That’s all.”

He pushed his lips against my ear, grinning as he did. “Yup.”

After we carried everything home, we made our way back out so we could go to the park. It was still early in the morning, barely before ten. There were already a ton of kids there with their parents, but it was a massive space with vast stretches of untouched snow.

I scooped up a big handful. It was light and fluffy, packing easily into a ball. When I threw it at a tree, it broke up and fell like confetti to the ground. It made me giggle. “I want to make a snowman,” I told my boyfriend, tugging on his hand to pull him in a particular direction. He let me take him wherever I wanted. I was like a pushy, over-giddy, toddler.

Jasper helped me create one as large as him. There was plenty of snow for it. It didn’t take as much time as I expected. It quickly rolled into huge balls. I just needed him to help me lift it into place.

After we finished, I scooped another handful and formed it into a ball. When he was least expecting it, I tossed it lightly at the back of his black beanie-covered head. He turned around in shock, his eyes wide. “Excuse me!” I giggled again and got more snow. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah, really,” I answered with a big grin. I threw it at him again, this time tagging his chest.

“Oo, I will get you for that,” he jokingly declared, filling his hands with the white stuff. He tossed two little balls at me. One missed, but the other got my shoulder. It shot the tiny ice crystals all over my face and stuck to my eyelashes.

We began chasing each other, throwing snowballs at each other. Neither of us had a terrible aim, and we kept hitting each other, covering us in wet fluff. Jasper tried to grab for me when he got close enough, but I slipped away and fell backward. He wanted to help me up, but I pulled him down on top of me. We were both laughing, slowly melting into a kiss as our cold noses touched. Pulling back, he hovered over me as we lay in the snow. It came down around us in fat clumps. His smile was brighter than the sun that was hidden behind the thick gray clouds.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am right now,” I blurted out, suddenly overwhelmed. I brushed a little of the ice off his cheek. “This has been the best week of my life.”

“Really? Even with the shit that I pulled when you first got here?” He questioned, panting softly. His lips were slightly parted, and his breath was creating long trails of steam.

I nodded quickly. “You’ve been strong for so long. It’s okay to break, and it’s okay to need a release. You’ve been through hell. I wish I had just come up with you when you did. So you didn’t have to go through that in the first place.”

“No. I needed to understand how much you’ve been doing for me. And it showed me I needed to appreciate it, and you fully. I feel as if I’m taking advantage of you, though.”

Laughing, I lifted to kiss him again. “Take advantage of me. I love it.”

He huffed, trying not to look too amused. “Every time I attempt to be sincere, you have to be naughty.” To make a point, I smashed a whole cold scoopful of snow against his cheek. His eyes got huge, and he finally laughed, too. “Oh, you will get it when we get home, young lady.”

“Yay,” I snickered, getting him from the other side.

He gathered a large armful and dumped it over my face. I screamed, then giggled. I shoved him back and shook it off onto him. We played and wrestled in the snow until we were both almost frozen. Even then, it was hard to drag ourselves away.

Jasper grabbed my elbow as we walked, his lips close to my ear. “I hope you had fun because you will pay for your attitude.”

“Oh, really?” I remarked sarcastically, glancing back at him with a raised eyebrow.

His hand moved down to my rear, grabbing it as much as he could through the many layers. “I’m gonna smack your ass for every snowball you hit me with.”

“Did you keep a tally?”

“Mmhmm,” he hummed. “Nineteen.”

“Aw, that’s it?” I smirked.

“That’s just for the snowballs, Isabella. How many do you think you deserve for the drinking? And for your attitude lately? Hm?”

He allowed me to go first on the stairs. Our apartment was on the second floor. They had been de-iced, but he was still worried about me slipping and falling. His hand was on the small of my back.

Once more, I glanced over my shoulder at him as I smirked some. I batted my eyelashes innocently. “That’s up to you, sir.”

He pulled his keys from his pocket, but he didn’t open the door. Instead, he pushed me against it. Kissing me deeply, Jasper put his leather-gloved hand under my chin. “When we get inside, you will strip down to your long Johns as quickly as possible. Do you understand?” I nodded my head as his thumb moved over my bottom lip. “You’ve been a very bad girl recently, and I’ve been letting it slide, but I think I need to remind you exactly who’s in charge.”

I started stripping as soon as the door locked behind us. Jasper kicked off his heavy boots and pushed them off into the corner. His long coat dripped with snow as he hung it over the wooden chair. He hurried to switch the heater on full blast before turning a playlist on.

“I’ve been thinking about you in that goddamn thing all morning,” he informed me, almost mumbling it to himself. “I don’t know why. You’re fully dressed. Honestly, it couldn’t be more innocent. Fuck, that’s probably why.”

I took off both pairs of socks as well as my leggings and jeans. I put all of them in the bathtub because they were soaking wet. Left in nothing but the red thermal long Johns, I came to stand in front of the bed with my hands behind my back. I hadn’t put a bra on, and my nipples were rock hard from the combination of my arousal and the cold. I definitely wanted him to notice, too.

He was still wearing his long-sleeved t-shirt and blue jeans, his feet bare. Jasper came to stand in front of me. He looked me over slowly, his lip between his teeth. His hand surprisingly slapped across my cheek, making me gasp. It was so much harder because we were both cold.

“Hurt, doesn’t it?” He teased in a low voice. Nodding, I wouldn’t give him a verbal answer. He struck me again. “Speak. I asked you a question, slut.”

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s for getting me in the face,” he informed me, before reaching down and tweaking one of my nipples roughly through the fabric. “Put your hands on the mattress, and you better keep fucking quiet. I don’t want my colleagues to hear us.”

“You might want to have the gag handy,” I sassed. He smacked me harder against the cheek. When I giggled, he gently grabbed me by the neck. “Harder,” I whispered. He gave me what I wanted, making my eyes roll into the back of my head.

“Are you going to get yourself in even more trouble?” His lips just an inch away from my own. I could taste him on my tongue.

“Yes.” He squeezed again, tighter than before. “Yes, sir.”

“I thought you didn’t enjoy choking.” He pecked at my bottom lip, flexing his fingers around my throat. His hands were so big it could wrap easily around it.

“I trust you.”

And that’s all I needed to say. I entrusted him to do whatever he wanted because my body was his. I knew I was safe. I was the most precious thing in his life, and I was still his Goddess while on my knees.

“I know you do, darlin,” he whispered in my ear as he grinned. “Now, put your hands on the fucking mattress.”

Turning slowly with a big smile, I put my palms flat on top of the messy bed. Jasper moved his hand up my spine, pushing my frazzled hair away from my neck. It still had ice in it, and I could feel it on my cheek. He slid back down and gave me a quick pop. It was light, just teasing me.

He warmed his hands on my ass and thighs, smacking them repeatedly. Each was more forceful than the last. Pressing my lips together, my eyes shut as I savored the attention. I wanted it to go on as long as possible. Then Jasper unbuttoned the back of my long underwear, chuckling to himself as he did.

“I love it so much,” he murmured. He gripped my bottom tightly through my panties. I was only wearing boring white cotton panties. They were probably his favorite if he was honest. Smoothing his fingers underneath the fabric along the curve of my thigh, he traced my cheek. “I’m going to make your cute ass just as red to match.”

When he hit me this time, it made me rock in place. I swallowed back my moan. It was so hard to. When Jasper pulled his belt from the loops, the sound made me wetter. My hands were shaking with anticipation. He brought it to my lips to kiss. “Thank it for the pleasure it’s about to give you, Isabella.”

I kissed the leather several times before moving down to peck his hand. I let my lips linger against his soft skin. His fingers smoothed through my hair as I did. He looked so pleased, his grin small and gentle. I pecked at his knuckles, smiling as I did. This was so much better now that we were a couple. There was no fear, but the exhilaration of being with him was always the same. I needed more of him, and I would do anything for his pleasure.

“You can be so sweet,” he mused as he walked behind me. He dragged his belt down my back before it connected with my thighs. “Too bad you’re such a naughty slut who likes to get herself in trouble.”

Every time he struck me, it felt as if I was getting closer to something indescribable. My fingers curled into the blankets as my toes dug into the carpet to keep in place. “Fuck,” I moaned after the fifteenth. The bite was lovely against my warm skin.

“Shh…” He moved the loop between my thighs. Jasper repeatedly tapped it against my clit. It made me shake, my muscles flexing. “Be a good girl for me.”

Wiggling against his belt, I tried to relieve some of the overwhelming sensations. I was so close already. But he wouldn’t allow that. He would decide when I got pleasure and only him. He pulled back and struck me several times. Finally, it was too much, and I called out loudly.

He clicked his tongue, tsking. “It seems I will have to gag you,” he said in mild disappointment, his voice almost bored. He laid the belt down in front of me. “Put your nose on that and don’t move until I tell you.”

He walked to my suitcase, and instead of picking up the gag as I had expected him to, he got the scissors I brought. For a moment, he played with them in the palm of his hand. I could see him out of the corner of my eyes as I tried to watch. He gently dragged the cold metal blade over my back, just skimming the surface of the red fabric.

Then he snipped the side of my panties, pulling it away from my hip so as not to cut me when he did. Automatically, I looked back in surprise, my mouth hanging open. He did the other side and threw the scissors into my luggage with a gentle underhand toss. His fingers moved between my legs over the fabric that was barely still in place. Roughly, Jasper rubbed them against my clit until they were soaking wet. If he expected that to help me stay quiet, he was wrong.

I whimpered and whined, rocking against his touch. I was almost there, so close. And he knew the exact moment to stop.

Pulling my ruined panties from between my legs, he balled them up in his fist. Jasper knotted his fingers in my hair and shoved them into my mouth before he slapped my face. “I told you not to move, slut.”

Once again, I whimpered before putting my nose back. My bare ass was exposed to the weird mix of hot and cold air. Everything was tingling. He walked behind me, skimming his fingers over my tender cheek. “I don’t think the belt will do it. You enjoy it far too much, and I want you to learn a lesson.”

Once again, he went to my suitcase. This time, he pulled out the paddle I had used on him. He traced it over my back and up my spine from behind, his fingers following along. He tapped it between the apex of my thighs. If he did it just a little longer or harder, I would have cum and he knew it. Jasper knew everything about my body because it was his.

Wrapping his hand in my hair, he stood beside me. Then he popped one of my cheeks.

“Fuck!” I mumbled through my destroyed panties.

“One, Isabella. Eighteen more.”

Tears were dripping from the corners of my eyes by the time he finished, my whole body violently shaking. My nose only moved off the belt when he struck me hard enough to make me rock forward, and it couldn’t be helped. I didn’t want too many of these and didn’t need to earn more. He laid the paddle beside me on the bed before Jasper brought me up to my feet. With one hand gripping my ass as tightly as possible and the other in my hair, he bit down onto the side of my neck from behind.

My knees almost gave way, but his fist in my curls was holding me up. His body was the only thing giving me any support.

“It’s so red now. Such a pretty color on you,” he whispered seductively in my ear. He unbuttoned the front of the thermals. It was only enough to expose my breasts. Playfully, Jasper worked my nipples as he nibbled and kissed along my neck and jaw. I tilted my face towards him, my sore ass rubbing against his rough blue jean covered erection. His hand moved over my stomach, pressing flat just below my belly button.

Once again, he picked up his belt, but this time, he bound my wrists behind my back with it. He held my hands for only a moment as his cheek skimmed across mine so he could peck at the corner of my stuffed mouth. Roughly, he shoved me face-first into the blankets. His soft lips kissed and licked between my legs, teasing for only a minute. But it was enough. I felt it drip down my leg.

Jasper chuckled. “You’re going to make a big mess.” His fingers found my clit and smoothed over it several times in a tight circle. I came again, dripping on his hand. “Oh, yes. Just like that.” He pushed them inside of me. Effortlessly, he gave me another.

He gripped both of my cheeks in his hands, squeezing them as firmly as he could. My exposed nipples brushed over the cool sheets, teasing me further. A moment later, he slipped inside. Unmoving, he held me in place against him as he got his balance. When he found it, Jasper spanked my sensitive skin as hard as he could as he pounded into me. His fist wrapped around my hair and yanked my head back. He had perfect timing.

The noises I made through my underwear were insane. I absolutely snorted, squeaked, and squealed as I just continued to fall apart. It was primal.

When he was about to finish, Jasper pulled out and came all over my thighs. It was hot and sticky, only adding to the mess. But he wasn’t done with me. He played with my clit once again right away.

I screamed through the fabric, the sound more muffled by the blankets and sheets around my head. Forcing me to have two more, he only stopped when my legs practically walked off without my permission. They were doing wild things. I had no control over anything.

Jasper first released my wrists, massaging his hands up my arms and shoulders. Pulling me onto my knees, I leaned back against his chest with my head resting on his chest. Finally, unbuttoning my long Johns the rest of the way, he pulled them down to my waist. Gently, he nuzzled my cheek.

Palming my breasts, he kissed my jaw. He removed my cut panties from between my teeth and threw them to the side as he smirked. Holding my chin, he lightly pecked at my lips. His thumb moved over my panting mouth. His other hand slid down my bare stomach and between my legs. “I can’t,” I cried softly.

With his other, he held my cheek and brought my lips to his again. “Yes, you can. Give me another, Isabella, and then we’ll go take a nice hot shower.”

His tongue caressed mine, playing with my nipple as he fingered me. I was too sensitive, and I felt as if I was gushing everywhere. It soaked the thermal fabric bunched between my thighs.

Almost falling over, I grabbed his hand to make him slow down. Or tried to. He didn’t. He just added his other, one moving against my clit and the other inside of me. “There it is. Good girl. Give it to me. Cum for me, darlin.”

“Oh, my God,” I gasped, completely dissolving into the mattress. I pulled on the sheets so hard they popped off two of the corners.

Finally, he stopped and went to wash his hands. I couldn’t move. I heard the water in the bathroom as he started the shower. Jasper came to the end of the bed and tugged my long Johns off the rest of the way. I didn’t budge.

“Get up, little girl. It’s time to clean up. And I want a blow job in the shower,” he ordered, giving me a quick clap on my bare ass. When I turned my head to look at him, I realized he was already hard again and ready to go.

He ended up fucking me all day long. Playfully and on every surface of the apartment. It was the best he had felt in weeks, and neither one of us worried once about his shoulder or anything else. I didn’t think about anything but his pleasure and my own.

The next morning was the first I hadn’t woken up with him to make breakfast. I felt his fingers in my hair, but it was hard to open my eyes. I was literally sore all over. His soft lips traveled over my cheek to my ear.

“I’m headed to work, darlin.”

“Mmkay,” I breathed, groping for him. Taking my hand, he kissed it before putting it back under the blankets. He tucked me in better, adjusting the surrounding covers. “I’ll make us something nice tonight for dinner.” The evening before, we only had frozen pizza and beer. It was the laziest I had been, but we were too busy for me to make anything else. We cooked it between sessions, and it was the only time that he allowed me to wear anything other than my lock necklace for the rest of the day.

“Only if you’re able to walk,” he teased.

I genuinely thought about arguing, opening my mouth a little. “Yeah, we’ll see. Maybe we’ll order something tonight,” I mumbled, making my boyfriend chuckle warmly. “I love you. Have a good day.” My fingers traced over his smooth cheek. He had just shaved, and it was delicately soft.

Jasper rested his forehead against mine. “I always sincerely try.”

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4/24/2020

Key. Chapter Twelve: In his Defense

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Chapter Twelve: In his Defense

Once again, I woke up with Jasper, and we read the newspaper while I sat on his lap. It was becoming my favorite way to enjoy breakfast. The big story on the front page this time was the possibility of snow in the next week despite spring being so close. He wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing my neck several times after we finished. Neither of us wanted to move.

“Are we going to do this every morning?” He inquired with his nose behind my ear. It tickled, making me smile.

“Mm…” I laughed, shaking my head. “Probably not. It’s stupid early. But for a while. I like this.”

“Me too,” he agreed, kissing the back of the lobe gently. “What are you going to do today?”

“A little shopping, laundry, editing. Exciting things,” I joked as I turned in his lap to look at him in the face. “I’ll make us something nice for dinner.”

“I don’t know how late I’ll be,” he warned. The words already sounded exhausted.

I shrugged. “Just warn me when you’re on your way home. It’s not a big deal. I don’t have an early bedtime.”

“Okay,” he smiled and nodded his head. Gently, he trailed his fingers up my bare knee to the center of my thigh. “Sounds good. I’d like that.”

After he left for the day, I took a shower and cleaned up my mess from breakfast. Once again, I walked to the small shopping center just a block away. It was still in the sixties, but the wind was stronger and colder. The rain would come that evening, and gray clouds were rolling in. It was a much shorter trip than the last.

For the first time in almost a week, I was able to get some real work done on the cop story. It was nice to have a break, but I was ready to get back to it. I was itching to move on from it to focus on a new one. I had a few ideas floating around. A cheesy romance or maybe a mafia tale. I had done from the cop’s point of view. Maybe I could switch it up and try to write a bad guy.

Between making fried apples, washing laundry, starting a pork roast, and baking brownies, I was able to edit three chapters. Between each, I would stand up and do an activity or two, so I wouldn’t get too sore from sitting all day. I got more done than I expected to, and the time just flew by.

It was almost eight when Jasper texted he was done for the evening and was heading to the apartment. I was ready to start the potatoes as soon as he did, already preparing them. Twenty minutes later, I heard him speaking before his keys rattled in the door to unlock it. Then I heard Sam’s voice in reply. The walls were so thin. They seemed earnest, talking seriously about something.

It swung open, and my boyfriend was holding the knob as he stood sideways. He was still speaking, his face animated. “Yeah, I totally agree with you. I think the way they handled it was ridiculous.”

“Yes, it was,” Sam agreed, coming halfway into the doorway. He lifted his head up and took a long sniff of the air. “That smells phenomenal. How are you doing, sweetie?” He asked with a smile. We had seen each other several times and gotten to speak quite a bit since we first met at the bar. He was a nice enough guy, but he was definitely a man’s man who was rough around the edges. He reminded me of my father.

“I’m fantastic, thank you. There is more than enough if you’d like to join us. I just have to finish up the potatoes,” I replied like a good southern hostess. I was standing in front of the stove in a dollar apron I got from the thrift store. Also, I picked up a box to keep all the things I was getting and wanted to ship back to Dallas when we left.

Jasper looked up at me in surprise, but he grinned a little. His partner appeared just as shocked but very much pleased with the idea. I think they almost forgot I would be here waiting for him. “I mean, I’d love to. If it’s alright with you. I don’t want to impose,” he said to my boyfriend. “I don’t know if you had any plans tonight.” He wanted a home-cooked meal, but he also didn’t want to piss off his friend by breaking up our romantic night.

Shaking his head, he stepped inside to allow him in. “No. Please join us.”

“Great! Thanks! He has been bragging about your food for months,” Sam remarked excitedly as he took off his coat after fully stepping inside.

Walking over to me, Jasper quickly gave me a peck on the forehead. “That’s because it’s delicious.” He turned so that his back was to his friend. Then he mouthed, ‘is it really okay?’ I nodded immediately and smiled, lifting on my toes again to give him another deeper kiss on the lips. He held me close to him, his hands on my hips for a moment before he pulled away. “I’ll get changed and washed up real quick.”

After gathering his clothes, he went into the bathroom and left me alone with Sam. We both watched him go quietly.

“Beer?” I offered.

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered in a thick southern drawl before plopping down on the couch. I went to the fridge and passed him the remote when I came back with it. “Damn. I see why he wants to have a regular schedule like a human now,” he joked, looking me up and down playfully as he did.

“What? Your wife doesn’t bring you a beer and the clicker every once in a while?”

He just laughed at my question. I rolled my eyes as I went into the kitchen.

I started setting stuff up on the small round table while the potatoes finished. He put on the news, the weather already playing. They were talking about snow, too. There was something about a vortex, and they were considering giving the storm a name. It seemed silly for being more than a week off. They gave a predicted model of twenty different paths, some taking it almost in the opposite direction.

Honestly, I hoped it did. I wanted to play in it. I hadn’t been in anything like a blizzard before, and I wanted to see what it was like. It snowed in Washington, but the winters were mild for the couple of years I lived there. Most of the places I settled in were super hot.

When Jasper finally emerged again, he was wearing blue jeans and a plain faded gray t-shirt. He came into the kitchen, going first to the fridge to get a beer for himself. “What do I need to do to help?” He asked as he opened it. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed a large gulp.

“Mmm…” I hummed as I mashed the potatoes. I added two big handfuls of cheese with some butter and milk. “Come here,” I whispered. He did, narrowing his eyes. He was curious about what I was going to ask for. “Give me another kiss.”

Laughing, he came to stand behind me while I worked. Lightly, Jasper kissed my neck. “This looks really nice.”

“I wanted to give you something to look forward to coming home to.”

He turned my face to the side, so I could peer into his eyes. “You’re enough,” he whispered.

“I know,” I smiled, pecking his lips. “Put some plates on the table. This is almost done.”

Sam sat down and sighed heavily as he leaned his chin back in the air. “This is so nice. Real food.”

“So that burger wasn’t real food? How about that basket of cheese fries?” Jasper joked as he sat, too.

“As much as I love the Gavel, it’s not. That’s what you eat when no one is watching.”

“That sauce was so good,” I mumbled, remembering that night as I passed out slices of pork tenderloin. “Cheesy potatoes?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered with a big smile. “Just give me a big pile of everything.”

He dug in right away. Jasper watched me make our plates with a grin. “Do you want to go back sometime?”

“Oh, my goodness! Are you asking me on a date, Dr. Hale?” I teased, putting a roll on his plate. I gave two to Sam.

Chuckling, he took a sip of his beer. “Yes, darlin, I believe I am.”

“Just like New Year’s Eve?” I questioned. He understood my meaning right away.

“Maybe not exactly,” he clarified, picking up his fork. Playfully, he winked at me. His partner didn’t see it. “There were a few elements of that evening I wouldn’t mind doing without. Like Jerry.”

Sam laughed meanly through a mouthful of food. “He’s still scared of you.”

“He should be,” I responded confidently. “That pervert only looked at my boobs.”

“In his defense,” his friend started, “that night, they were looking back.” Jasper kicked him under the table. “I’m sorry! But that dress-” He got booted again. “Hey! You talked about her titties in that dress for like twenty minutes after you got shot.” Dramatically, Sam scooted his chair back so he would miss him before glancing at me. “As soon as the drugs kicked in.”

“You are such an asshole,” Jasper laughed. “Don’t tell her that. I was out of my mind.”

Leaning in, he whispered. “And it was funny, too.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t talk about my ass,” I remarked dryly.

His friend cackled as he brought his chair back in. “Oh, he did.”

Steadily shaking his head, he looked down at his plate with amused eyes. He cut his meat with the side of his fork, scooping up some fried apples. “I had just nearly been killed after chasing a lunatic for hours and then doped up.”

“And your first thought was to tell me was how pissed off you were that you stopped fucking for it.”

“I was mad about that, too!” I agreed loudly, and my boyfriend almost choked on his bite as he tried not to laugh. “Well, I was. I had plans! I didn’t know what I was doing would lead to all that.”

After taking a long swig of his beer, Sam took a bite of his bread. “That shit is still wild. I can’t believe you two connected the dots like that.”

Getting more serious, I asked a question that had been on my mind for months. “Has he… has he said anything about Bree Tanner?”

He shook his head. “I’m wondering if he didn’t do it, and she just… disappeared herself, you know what I’m saying? Ran away or maybe a quiet suicide.”

“It has to be him,” Jasper countered firmly.

“He’s spoken about everyone-”

“He’s fucking with the mother and us. King probably has fifty more victims he’s not telling us about.”

“No doubt,” Sam agreed. “But I don’t know about her. He’s different about her.”

Shifting in my seat, I picked at my plate for a minute. “Do you honestly think we’ll ever find out what happened?”

“Statistically? No. It’s been too long,” he answered.

“But there is always hope. We have solved older cases,” my boyfriend added and reached for my hand. “I’ve been looking into it. I’ll try to find the answer for you.”

I laughed uncomfortably. “No. Do it for her mom. I’m just curious. I can’t imagine her pain.”

Jasper sighed. “That’s what we’ve been trying to do. But if Royce did something to her, we’ll figure it out now. It’s only a matter of time before we reveal all of his lies and show him for the soulless monster that he is.”

Getting more of the potatoes, Sam shook his head. “Some folks don’t care if he’s soulless.” He scoffed. “Can you believe how many groupies this douchebag is getting?”

“What?” I said in surprise. “Groupies?”

“Hybristophilia. People who get off on fucking criminals, the worse, the better. It doesn’t seem to matter how horrible they are, there are always a few of them. But since that bastard is so pretty,” Jasper hissed out the last word. “It’s disgusting. These women are delusional if they think he would do anything other than-” He stopped himself from ranting. “They want a Clyde to their Bonnie like it’s Romeo and Juliet.”

“Both of those stories end with a lot of murder.”

“Exactly,” he declared, pointing his fork at me. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat as if he were uncomfortable himself. “To change the subject, this is great. Thank you. You haven’t made this for me before, and I really like it. These apples are excellent.”

“Me too, sweetie,” his friend quickly agreed. “Better than the pizza I was going to order. Jasper is a lucky man to have you up here, taking care of him like this.”

I felt my cheeks heat at the compliments, but I said nothing. My boyfriend took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Yes, I am.”

After Sam left for the evening, it was getting rather late, so we went almost straight to bed. Jasper spooned my back, his legs twisted in between mine and his arms around my own under the many thick layers of blanket. There was a definite chill in the air. I could feel it on the tip of my nose since it was the only thing that peaked out from under the covers.

“How are you?” I asked after we got settled. It was clear neither one of us was falling asleep right away.

“I’m okay,” he replied quietly. “I talked to the therapist again today.”

“Oh? How did that go?”

“Well, he said a few interesting things that I’ve been thinking about all day.”

“Which were?” I prompted since he seemed to require it.

Jasper chuckled for a moment. “For one, he feels I need to take more control in activities outside of the office. Since I’ve experienced so much chaos in my otherwise routine environment, I need to seek it out elsewhere, apparently.”

Rolling over, I wrapped my arm around his neck. “Oh, my. I wonder how you can do that. Where, oh where, will you be able to assert your dominance safely in a non-work setting?”

Chuckling again, his hand slid down to my ass to grip it tightly before kissing me. It was so sweet how he smiled against my mouth. “Did my psychologist just tell me we’re not playing enough?”

“Honey, someone had to say it.”

He laughed loudly before kissing me. We made out there for a long time before he rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. “Today, he told me that the people who heal best from trauma usually find some purpose or meaning in the events. Realizing that something positive wouldn’t have happened if the event didn’t occur. He said that for me, it should be easy. I brought a bad guy to justice and did my job exactly how I was supposed to. But that’s not it.”

“So much good came out of-”

“I know, but for me, that’s not it.” He stopped, licking his bottom lip. “If I hadn’t been shot, we wouldn’t have spent the last few months getting closer. It showed me precisely what I wanted in the future. And it’s you. You’re my meaning. That’s why I was handling it okay when we were together, and-” he paused, swallowing heavily before kissing me again. “It’s why I feel better now. Just being around you again makes it easier to handle. You’re my hope even more now than you were before.”

He made me want to cry. Instead, I kissed him again. I wanted to show him I would make him feel better in any way I could.

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4/21/2020

Key. Chapter Eleven: On a Thumb Drive

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Chapter Eleven: On a Thumb Drive

The next morning, I woke up with Jasper to make him breakfast before he went to work. He looked better than he did the day before. We had gone to bed early after I wore him out. He fell asleep within moments of his head touching the pillow.

After his spanking, I had him take a hot shower then rubbed him down from head to toe in a massage that made him melt into the mattress. Then he showed me how much he worshiped me. For hours.

I sat on his lap again when we ate, but this time he fed me as we read the paper together. His glasses were perched on the end of his nose. After straightening his tie, I kissed him goodbye at the door. I was still in my underwear and camisole, looking like an insane sleepy mess next to his perfectly pressed suit.

Jasper smiled when he pecked my lips. “I love you, darlin. I’ll see you tonight.”

“I love you, too. Call me today if you need me. Even if you just want to talk for a few minutes. I’ll be here for you. I promise. No matter what,” I told him as I held onto the lapels of his blazer.

“I know. Thank you,” he promised, kissing me once more.

Once he left, I cleaned up and worked on editing for a little while. I figured it was too early to call the agent. By ten, I decided it was late enough he would be in his office. I knew if I put it off anymore, I would wait another day. I was too nervous.

Sitting on the bed cross-legged with the computer in front of me, I stared at his card as the phone rang twice. He answered before the third. “Hello?”

“Hi, Mr. Yorkie. This is Bella Swan.”

“Yes!” He said excitedly. “Yes, Ms. Swan. Thank you for calling me. What can I do for you today?” I could hear a lot of noise in the background, but I wasn’t sure what it was.

I swallowed back my nerves. “I’d like to sign.”

“YES!” He shouted into the phone, surprising me. “YES! That is FUCKING AWESOME! YEAH!”

Laughing, I covered my mouth. “Oh, wow.”

“Sorry. Oops. Excuse me. I’m sorry,” he mumbled, but it wasn’t to me. He cleared his throat hastily. “That is such amazing news! I am so glad to hear that! When would you like to do that? I want to get the ball rolling as soon as possible.”

“Well, I’m in Albany right now-” I began.

“Oh, that’s not too far at all! Nice. Are you free today?” He inquired in a rush. “I can come to you. Dinner?”

“Um,” I drew out softly. Once again, I swallowed. There wasn’t any reason not to. “Yeah, I haven’t any plans. Would it be alright if my boyfriend joined us?” I asked right away. Even though I wasn’t sure when we were meeting or when he would get off. But I wanted Jasper there if possible. I needed him.

“Absolutely,” he promised. Eric was so pleased, his voice bubbly and energetic like a teenager. “This is great. You’ve made my day, Ms. Swan. Let me make some arrangements, and I’ll have my secretary call you back with some info. Is that good?”

“That works.”

Mr. Yorkie chuckled pleasantly. “Awesome! Okay. I’ll see you tonight!”

After we finished, I stared at the red end key as it flashed on the screen. My heart was beating a million miles an hour. That wasn’t what I had anticipated from the interaction. I expected it to be pleasant, sure. But he was sincerely thrilled. I didn’t know how to take it. It was weird.

I texted Jasper and asked him to call me when he went on his lunch break and had a few minutes to talk. I promised it wasn’t an emergency and only to do it when he was free. It was only two hours later when he did. The publisher’s secretary had made reservations for seven at a fancy place called 667 Prime. I had already nervously pulled out all of my clothes and thought about how I wanted to do my hair and makeup.

“Hey, what’s up?” He whispered.

“I’m sorry to bother you-”

“No,” he promptly stopped me. “If I can’t do that, neither can you.”

Smiling to myself, I picked at the blanket. He was right. “Okay. Um, so I talked to the agent, and he’d like to have dinner with us tonight. Well, with me. I want you to come if you can.”

“What time is it?” He questioned. “I can’t promise anything.” Jasper already sounded bothered that he might not. I understood, though.

“I know. If you can’t, it’s alright. It’s at seven.”

“Oh,” he hummed, thinking about it for a minute. “I could meet you there, probably. Would that be okay?”

“That’s perfect!” I promised, grinning as I felt relief wash over me. “Thank you. I just… I want you there with me.”

“You don’t have to thank me. There is no other place I’d want to be.”

Pausing, I pulled in a deep breath through my lips. It sounded shaky to me. “I’m about to be published. By a real- They’re going to give me money for my story.”

My boyfriend chuckled. “Yes, they are, darlin. I am so proud of you.”

“Thank you for believing in me.”

“Thank you for being my favorite author,” he answered teasingly. “Don’t worry. This is a good thing.”

I realized I didn’t know how to appear professional. I looked at every outfit I brought with me while frowning. Finally, I settled on a boring pencil skirt and a white button-down shirt. I spent way too much time messing with my hair and doing my makeup. I was more apprehensive about it than the first meeting with him.

Mr. Yorkie was waiting for me out front when I arrived. Beaming, he took my hand. “Hello, Ms. Swan! I’m so delighted. I think this is the start of a spectacular business relationship.”

“I hope so,” I uttered softly.

“Is your boyfriend joining us?” He questioned, looking behind me.

“He’s meeting us here. We can start without him,” I replied, taking a deep breath. It was hard to keep my voice from quivering.

“Ah, perfect! We can get the work out of the way quickly then get to the celebration when he arrives,” he remarked charmingly, pointing to the door.

When we got inside, he removed my coat for me. It was the one Jasper had gotten me when I came for New Year’s. Albany’s weather seemed to be bipolar in the late winter and early spring, and it was coming in handy. It had been in the sixties during the day, but it had already dropped into the thirties after sunset.

“You look lovely this evening,” he complimented, giving mine and his to the coat check. He chuckled. “I have to tell you how much easier it is to market a writer when they’re attractive. Sometimes these authors are trolls who rarely leave their cave.” He shook his head and raised his eyebrows. “But you? Well-spoken. Charming. More than easy on the eyes. They will eat you up in interviews.”

I coughed in surprise, looking at him with my mouth hanging open. My face was bright red. “Oh, really?”

He realized what he said and grimaced. “I’m sorry, that came out- I mean, you are gorgeous and-” Eric stopped, shaking his head again. “I am making this worse. I’m not coming onto you,” he laughed awkwardly. “I’m just so giddy. This feels like a big step towards something incredible.”

“You shouldn’t pump me up so much. What if it flops, and we’re both disappointed?” I asked as we waited for our table. The hostess motioned for us to follow her. He pulled my chair out for me before he sat.

Eric laughed, shaking his head. “A flop? Are you kidding me? This is a marketing dream. The timing is perfect. We can get your book out just as they’re starting the trial, which is free advertising. Everyone will read the murder mystery from the author who solved a real-life one. We’ll make money on pre-orders alone. Don’t you worry, honey.”

The server was standing by the table, waiting for us.

He ordered a bottle of champagne right away. “We’ll need that in a minute,” he remarked as he pulled a thick stack of papers from his leather briefcase and sat them down in front of me. “This is just what I gave you the other day. This is the rights to your novel, The Rabbit in the Snow, for an advance of twenty-five thousand. This page explains your royalties. Did you have questions for me?”

I shook my head. He grinned as he handed me a pen, pointing at a line at the bottom. I quickly gave him my signature. As I looked up from doing so, I noticed Jasper walked into the room. Our eyes locked, and we both smiled. I slid the paper over to the publisher. Standing from my chair, I went to greet my boyfriend with a kiss. He promptly came to me and pulled me to his chest. His big hand rested on the small of my back as our lips pressed chastely together.

Surprised, my agent quickly stood, too. “Oh, well! Hello! That was quicker than expected. I still had more business I wanted to discuss,” he stated. “I’m Eric Yorkie,” he introduced himself politely.

My man offered his hand. “I won’t keep you from it.” They shook briefly. “Dr. Jasper Hale.”

“Yes, Dr. Hale! I’ve been reading about your career recently. Your record is incredible,” he praised, making him a little uncomfortable.

We all sat, and I took his hand underneath the table. “It’s only because I’ve been lucky enough to work with a great team,” he deflected the compliment. “I’m simply a player in a much bigger game.”

“A very skilled one! I’d love a book from your point of view of the story, but I realize the Feds won’t let you talk about any of that.”

Jasper cleared his throat. “Correct. We can’t discuss ongoing investigations.”

“Maybe after the trial.” Grinning, he leaned forward a little. “Imagine your narrative written by Bella. But I’m getting way ahead of myself here.” The champagne came to the table, and the waiter hurried to pour our glasses. “Anyway, what I wished to discuss with you is your next book. I’ve admittedly only read one, but I wanted to see if you knew which you’d like to publish next. If this goes well, I’d like to sign you for at least three more, and I want to know what to read first.”

I glanced at Jasper, my eyes wide. I was lost, and he could see it. He squeezed my hand under the table, his thumb running over my knuckles. “I think you’ll have to narrow it down a tad, Mr. Yorkie. Bella has dozens of wonderful novels and stories, and I don’t think she knows where to start.”

Laughing, I looked away. “He’s right.”

“Have you read all of her work?” Eric questioned, narrowing his eyes on him some.

“He’s read every single thing I’ve ever done. Things that no one else has.”

“And I’ve read it at least three times each.” Jasper adjusted in his seat, fidgeting with his tie shyly. “I was an obsessed fan before she allowed me the honor of being her partner.”

“What do you think her next book should be?”

He didn’t hesitate. “Well, it doesn’t have a name yet. But I’d say my Christmas present needs to be. It’s even better than Rabbit, and it’s my new favorite. So, that’s saying something. It’s a thriller, too. We’ve just been calling it ‘the cop’s story.’ But other than that, I’d say really look into her young adult novels. They’re exceptionally charming. I’m sure that’s where the real money is at.”

I didn’t know all the ways I would thank Jasper when we got back to the apartment, but I knew they would be numerous and fun. I was so in love with him. This was precisely why I wanted him by my side for this.

“Oh!” Eric said in surprise. “I didn’t know about the young adult novels. Is there any way I can get a list of them and maybe access to this new thriller?”

Taking a thumb drive out of my purse, I handed it to my new publisher and agent. “This is every novel and story I’ve ever written. It’s in chronological order of when I wrote them. The unnamed one is at the top.” Excluding pornographic ones. But I wouldn’t bring those up. If he found them and wanted to talk about them, we would. There was no way I was plunging into that conversation first.

He looked as if I was handing him something magical. “Thanks! Perfect!”

Jasper peered at me with a smirk. “I want one of those.”

“You don’t already have it saved?” I inquired jokingly.

“Yes, but probably not all neat and orderly like you do, though! You make me feel disorganized in comparison.” He playfully winked at me.

Chuckling at our exchange, Eric lifted his glass of champagne finally and smiled. “So, shall we toast?” I picked up my flute. “May there be many future best-sellers on that flash drive.”

“There are.” My boyfriend brought his drink up and clinked it to mine first. His eyes didn’t leave mine. “Cheers.”

After dinner, Eric drove away first. He had used the valet. Jasper and I walked to his rental car in the parking lot silently. I leaned against it, covering my face as I laughed. He did too, putting his hands on my shoulder. “This is happening,” I blurted out. “Holy shit!”

He put his forehead on mine. “Yes, it is.”

“How are you?” I asked as I looked up at him. The whole evening had been focused around me, and I hadn’t been able to ask.

His palms slipped down my arms, and he held my fingers. “I’m fine. Today was easier. My ass hurts a little, but other than that.”

Giggling, I kissed his lips. He smiled in return, and it was brilliant. Jasper opened the door for me, and I slid inside. My head felt light, and honestly, I was dizzy. I had to catch my breath. He didn’t get in right away but got something from the trunk first.

When he sat beside me, he had several things in his hands. First, he passed me a large bouquet of red roses dotted with white baby’s breath. Next, he pulled out a nice bottle of champagne from a stiff brown paper bag. It was cold from just being in the car. Finally, he took out a pink box. My boyfriend handed it to me with a tiny grin.

“What’s this?”

“Open it,” he chuckled. I did so, biting my lip. It was a small chocolate cake meant for maybe two or three. It was elegantly decorated with dark chocolate curls and piles of whipped buttercream. “I figured you might need some of your favorite form of aftercare. It’s been a wild couple of days.”

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4/10/2020

Key. Chapter Ten: In Control

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Chapter Eight: In Control

The words made me stop. Jasper had never asked to play in such a way, but I had a feeling he didn’t want today to be about that. This wouldn’t just be fooling around for fun. He needed to be out of control in a way that he could handle. He had to relax and be taken care of. He needed to be told what to do by someone he trusted.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” I questioned gently.

“It’s what I need.”

“For how long?”

He didn’t hesitate. “All day. Please? For as long as you wish.”

I bit my lip, thinking it over. Finally, I spoke into his hair. “What are our safewords?” We hadn’t brought them up in months. There was no need for them. Even when we played in the weeks before. No one was worried about safewording. We were concerned about not doing it and not stopping before we hurt him. We were both eager to push boundaries at a slow pace.

“Red,” he whispered.

“Yellow, too. If you want to do this all day long, I need to know when to slow down, so you don’t have to use red. How is your arm?” I touched the spot gently through his t-shirt.

“It’s fine. My shoulder hurts a little. It’s just slightly sore. I think it’s because I’m so tense.”

I walked to my purse and took out a bottle. Inside were several of his powerful pain pills. I had never removed them. It quickly snapped one in half. Taking the water on the dresser over to him, I offered both to him, but he didn’t want them. It had been weeks since he had given in. Silently, he stared at them as if they would bite.

“Take it. I’m not asking.”

Blinking, he looked up at me in surprise at my tone. Finally, he took it from palm and popped it into his mouth. Jasper quickly swallowed, finishing half the water as he did. He licked his lips and grimaced at the bitter taste of the tablet.

I ran my fingers through his thick hair, making him look up at me. “Today won’t be about pleasure. Not yours, anyway.”

“I know,” he breathed.

“You had fun when I playfully smacked you around a little and used you as my personal sex toy. Can you handle doing what I say, even if you don’t like it?”

“There ain’t nothing you could have me do that I won’t enjoy,” he answered in a thick accent. “Especially with the pain pill.”

Smirking, I rolled my eyes. “Don’t assume everything will be sexual.”

“I’m not,” he promised in a whisper. I tugged on his blond curls, forcing him to focus on me. “I’ll do whatever you wish, Ma’am. Use me as your footstool.”

Gnawing on my lip, I considered what to do. I didn’t feel like a goddess at that moment. Honestly, I barely felt human. I hadn’t showered after flying the day before, and I was greasy, my hair sticking to my oily skin. Also, I was hungry. My stomach curled in on itself, ready to be filled with something comforting. If I had been alone, it would have been time to have a box of doughnuts.

“Okay. I’m going to take a shower. I’d like you to make me breakfast,” I said when I pulled away from him to walk towards the small bathroom we shared.

“What would you like, ma’am?” My boyfriend asked in a tiny voice, turning around on the sofa to watch me go.

Throwing my nightgown onto the messy bed, I didn’t turn to look at him. “I thoughtfully make your meals all the time without having to ask, and I’ve provided all the things you need to do so. I think you’re more than capable of doing the same for me.”

“Yes, Goddess,” he breathed. I could feel his eyes on me as I went into the bathroom for my shower. I would be a little mean and biting. My tone was sharp in a way he had never heard before.

Stopping in the door frame, I still didn’t turn. My fingers curled around the jamb. “I’m not pleased with your behavior this morning, Jasper. Lying to your boss is unacceptable. There was no reason to do so, other than to avoid explaining yourself. I won’t make things easy for you today.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you should have spoken to me before you became overwhelmed. I don’t care if I’m asleep. I don’t want you to feel like that alone. You won’t hide your emotions from me. It’s gotten you in trouble before, and it will again.”

“Yes, Goddess,” he answered more firmly. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want an apology. I want a different outcome in the future.” With my back straight and my chin held high, I stepped into the bathroom.

In the shower, I took my time. I had to think about what I wanted to do. I hadn’t been prepared. Of course, I wanted to play and thought about all the silly things, but this was different. It was challenging to focus and get in the right mindset, but I needed to. Jasper required something from me, and I had to give it to him.

Blow-drying my hair, I got perfectly ready before wrapping in one of the terrible towels and coming out to find my clothes. The room smelled of bacon and coffee. I smiled to myself but said nothing as he continued to work. There were already things on the table, waiting for me.

I slipped on some cute panties, a tiny pair of shorts, a camisole, and knee socks. Then I braided my hair over my shoulder so it would be out of the way. It wasn’t the uniform of a dominatrix, but I wanted to be comfortable.

When I walked into the small kitchen area, he was slicing fruit with his back to me. Jasper hadn’t paused since I came out of the restroom. He looked up and smiled at my appearance, his eyes going over me before flicking quickly to his work again. “May I ask what the rules are on speaking, Goddess?”

“I want you to talk as much as you need to,” I explained as I rested against the counter. “I will hurt you today. So, I have to trust you’ll speak if you have to.”

The knife stilled on the matching cutting-board it came with. He looked up at me, his eyes warm. “You can’t hurt me.”

“Yes, I can. And I will.”

They went back to the banana, and he smiled again. I knew what that meant. He didn’t think it was true, and it was cute that I thought so. I would prove him wrong.

“I’m ready to eat,” I informed him as I pushed off of the countertop.

“Um, yes, ma’am. Just a moment,” Jasper mumbled as he hurriedly put the fruit on top of a bowl of yogurt with some strawberries, too. Then he picked up a plate with buttered toast and bacon on it.

I watched as he rushed to place everything on the table for me. There was even a newspaper and a mug of coffee, plus a small cup of juice waiting.

“Sit,” I demanded, pointing at the chair. When he did, I plopped down onto his lap and got more comfortable. “Thank you. This looks very nice. Have you eaten anything?”

“No, ma’am,” he sighed as he pushed his face into my hair from behind. His nose skimmed over my neck, almost making me shiver. He traced his lips over the chain of the lock necklace that I never took off.

Taking a nibble of toast, I chewed for a moment as I considered him. I brought the triangle up to his lips. He didn’t want to take it, just like the pill, but I wouldn’t budge. I raised my eyebrows. I would start the morning with a good slap if I needed to. Slowly, he took a large bite before leaning in to kiss my cheek.

After a sip of coffee, I unfolded the paper. It was the morning’s news that must have been just delivered. I wondered if the apartment came with a subscription or if Jasper got it for work. The front page was unsurprisingly politics. It was most days. I flipped it to the next one to see if it had anything local. That would be more interesting.

I ate breakfast and read the newspaper as if it was a typical morning, feeding him a bite every time I did so. He wrapped one of his arms around my waist, holding onto me comfortingly. His fingers kept curling against my stomach, just under the fabric of my shirt. I realized he was reading over my shoulder, what he could without his glasses, anyway. I brought it up higher, saying nothing.

“I didn’t notice all you did for this place last night. Thank you. It’s already so much better than it was,” he said when we had finished eating. I folded the paper, turning it to the next page.

“I’m not done yet,” I answered because it was true. Next, I would get a few softer towels. Those could easily make it home with us, at least. Those provided were terrible and scratchy. And not nearly big enough to cover my ass.

He put his lips close to my ear. “I don’t suppose you’d allow me to give you my credit card for future purchases.”

“If I need help with anything, I’ll ask for it,” I replied. I brought my fingers so that they were under his chin, scratching it gently. I was still looking at the paper, reading about the weather. It would reach sixty in the next week and stay that way for a while, though a couple of days would be rainy. They would be perfect for writing. I was hoping for cold, maybe even a bit of snow. But I wasn’t that lucky.

“I don’t know how else to take care of you,” he whispered, almost pained by the words. “You’ve been doing nothing but caring for me. I don’t do enough.”

I turned to look at him. “That’s not what you need to be thinking about right now. I don’t require taking care of, anyway. Not now, not ever. Today, I will tell you what I want and need. All you should concern yourself with is this moment and what I require you to do.”

He pushed his lips against my cheek, and I could feel his fluttering eyelashes against my skin. “Yes, Goddess.”

“Go clean up the mess you made. I need to get prepared.”

As he washed dishes, I pulled out some stuff from one of my suitcases. My riding crop, the flogger, a new paddle, a belt of my own, along with a few other things. I laid them out on the bedside table. When Jasper finished, he stood by the couch and waited for me.

“Do you make it a habit to lie to your colleagues?” I asked with my back turned to him when I was as equipped as I could be.

“No, ma’am,” he breathed.

“Strip,” I ordered, picking up my belt. When I turned around, he was hurriedly throwing off his shirt before yanking off his pants. “Put them away neatly. You shouldn’t be rushing to your punishment.”

Calming down, he folded them before placing them on top of his suitcase in the small closet. Jasper was half hard, still pleased to be standing in the buff.

“On your knees.” He dropped to the floor in front of me. His head came to my breasts. Gently, I pushed him, so he was sitting on his ankles. I made him stare into my eyes. “I’m going to punish you. For lying and for holding back during the week and not telling me about your feelings. I’m going to spank you. And do you know how many I’ll give you?”

Jasper tried not to smile, his mouth curling to one side just for a moment before he caught himself. “No, Goddess.”

“Until you tell me it hurts,” I answered earnestly, running my thumb over the corner of his lip. “I won’t stop until you do. And I doubt it’ll take all day. You will count, too. I want you to know exactly how many it takes.” His cheeks darkened, nodding his head in understanding.

“On your hands and knees, elbows locked.”

I struck him once with my hand. It was gentle, just a warm-up. “One.” With each hit, I got harder, moving up his ass and thighs. I could tell that he was enjoying it because he became fully erect and tried not to sigh the numbers. We got to twenty this way. Hitting him as hard as I could with my palm, he finally gave in and groaned as he threw his head back. “Twenty-one.”

“You moan like a whore,” I teased. His head fell forward, and I knew it was to hide his smile. I took my belt into my dominant fist. My first strike wasn’t light. Jasper gasped in shock. “I’m sorry. What was that?”

“Twenty-two, Goddess.”

By sixty, I could see it on his face. I saw the strain on his perfect features. But I would not slow down. This is what he wanted. He could tell me it hurt at any time.

Panting, his eyes were closed tightly as I walked to get the paddle. It had been meant for me. It was long, black, rectangular, and made from leather. I held it under his chin to force him to gaze at me. “How many more do you think you can take? Are you willing to make yourself uncomfortable for days just because you’re too much of a man to say you’ve had too much?” Walking behind him, I examined his red, angry skin. He rocked on his knees, his elbows buckling with sixty-one. “Stop worrying about your pride and let go.”

“Sixty-two. Sixty-three,” he panted. “Sixty-four. Sixty-five.” Jasper whimpered, tears coming from his eyes.

“Why do you want to hurt yourself?”

“I need to.” I hit him again. “Sixty-six.”

“Why?”

“Because I should have done my job better. People died because of my incompetence,” he cried.

“No. People died because of that heap of trash shielded by cash. If they allowed you to do your job properly in the first place, you would have gotten him months before. You cannot and will not blame yourself for any of his actions.”

He shook his head, so I hit him three more times in a row. “Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine. The SWAT member who died-”

“Jasper, would you want him to feel guilty if the same thing happened to you? He was doing his job, just like you were. And the only person to blame will be punished because of you.” I struck him again. “You will give closure to so many.”

“No,” he whimpered. “It hurts.”

I dropped the paddle to the side. When I walked around, I tugged his hair so that he sat back again. He was weeping openly, his eyes sealed shut. I wrapped my arms around his head and pulled him to my chest. His arms tangled around my waist as he cried into my breasts.

When he slowed, I put my finger under his chin so he would look into my eyes. “Are you going to lie to your boss again?”

“No, Goddess,” he promised, his watery smile small and curved slightly to one side.

“I could hurt you if I wanted to, but I chose not to. Don’t doubt that I have the ability. When you smirk and roll your eyes, it’s insulting.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean it like that. I know you could cause me pain, but you could never hurt me. There is no damage you could inflict that could be worse than what I do to myself.” His fingers curled around my back and into my shirt. “I don’t mean to insult you. It’s the last thing I’d want.”

“Good. Now… Is this helping?” I whispered into his locks.

“Yes,” he swore right away. “Very much so, Goddess.”

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💛💛💛Hi everyone! Key is taking next week off (April 13-17) so I can focus on my daughter's 15th birthday! (😭cries in old lady😭) Key will return April 21st with Chapter Eleven: On a Thumb Drive. See you then and stay healthy!💛💛💛

4/7/2020

Key. Chapter Nine: In a Shabby Apartment

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Chapter Nine: In a Shabby Apartment

Sunday, I woke up with my worst hangover since college. Alice was still asleep on the couch. I finished packing around her until I finally made enough noise to rouse her from her slumber. She wasn’t ready to get moving yet, and I couldn’t blame my friend. We ordered lunch and talked until it got late, and she needed to get home. She had school in the morning, and I had a flight. We promised to chat often. We embraced for a long time, squeezing tightly. Neither of us wanted to let go.

Tanya never came to the apartment. I was rather hoping I could say I was sorry in person. At ten, I sent her an apology by text. She asked what for because she didn’t remember much about the night before. She had only woken up around six that evening. I answered for bailing out early, like a coward.

“Oh! It’s okay! I know you needed to get ready for your trip. I’ll miss you! See you soon, hopefully!”

Staring in surprise at the message, I decided it was best to let it be. Edward would never bring up the subject, that was for sure. He watched me walk out of the restroom at the club, dejected. The man didn’t even try to say anything. Instead, he looked beaten down. He had done nothing wrong, but I shouldn’t have agreed in the first place. Jasper wasn’t angry at me, but I was at myself. He had just been so nice and said all the right things.

My flight to Albany was only about five hours. I took the earliest I could, leaving at six in the morning on Monday. I was too impatient. Sadly, he was working when I got in. I knew he would be. So I would store my stuff in our apartment then take myself out to lunch. I would get a few groceries for when we were there, too. I would take care of my man as much as possible.

It was only slightly shabbier than I expected it to be. It was an efficiency with a queen mattress, a loveseat, and a boxy television from the nineties on top of a dresser from the seventies that had a large mirror vanity to one side. It was so awkward. The carpet was brown shag, and the wallpaper had bamboo on it. The only window was high above the bed and had thick yellow curtains that blocked out all the light.

I giggled as I looked around. It wasn’t that bad, really. Honestly, it could have been so much worse. It was clean, at least. I kind of loved it. But I could see why Jasper would hate it. But he wasn’t paying for it, and we didn’t know how long he was staying, so we couldn’t find an apartment on our own. I didn’t mind. I couldn’t handle not having any access to a real kitchen for months on end. We both liked my cooking too much for that.

It was almost comically perfect for our first place together.

Sure, it wasn’t ideal. But it wouldn’t be hard to make it homier. I put the spare key he left me under the mat onto my ring with a smile. I was more enthusiastic about this part of it than I expected to be. It wasn’t living together yet, just staying in the same place, but it would be an interesting test run for the future. His time healing was too hectic to count.

After inspecting the place, I walked to a shopping center about a block away to have some Five Guys. It was nice that it was so close to us. I knew how much he loved burgers and fries. I would have to get it for us someday. Or maybe we could go on a cute little date with milkshakes and everything. As soon as I found out his next days off, I would start planning for a short trip to New York City, though. That was the outing I was most excited about.

The pots and pans were battered in the kitchen, so I bought a cheap set and some knives. I would only get enough food for two days at a time since anything could change at a moment’s notice. I made a few trips back to haul all of my loot. Going to one shop, then to the apartment. It was a wonderful almost spring day, and I loved it. I might have gone overboard at the inexpensive home store. I probably looked like a crazy person with all my massive sacks.

In a small slow cooker, I started a thick beef stew and baked some cornbread and cookies. The place smelled delicious. While they were baking, I put some candles around and washed a new blanket I got for the bed. I also purchased some fresh pillows, too. We could donate them to charity when we left. It wasn’t much, but I knew it would make a difference.

As it got later in the evening, I became more psyched and nervous to see him. I changed into something I got just for Jasper, a baby blue crop top, innocent high-waisted panties, and matching knee socks. I didn’t bother with makeup, only putting on lip gloss and some edible dust like from New Year’s. This time, it was chocolate cake flavored. Cookies wouldn’t be the only thing for dessert, I hoped.

It was seven o’clock when the door finally opened. He hadn’t texted to say he was on the way, but he knew I had arrived safely. But it still surprised me. As always, he was perfectly groomed in one of his tailored suits, his blond hair slicked back in place.

I smiled at him brightly, hopping up from the couch right away to greet him properly. “Hi there, handsome,” I said playfully, putting my hands behind my back because I knew it would push my chest out and make me appear more innocent.

Silently, he looked around before peering at me. His jaw was tight, his eyes hollow and unseeing. I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed, and he sucked in a slow breath. His briefcase slipped from his fingers and clattered to the floor loudly as he began to cry.

“Oh, no! Oh, god! What happened?!” I nearly shouted as I rushed to him. Both of his hands were covering his face, the tears streaming past them as he crumbled to the carpet on his knees. It was coming out so hard that there was no sound, but his body was shaking violently. I slid to the floor in front of him just in time for his head to fall on my shoulder. My arms wrapped around him as tightly as I could.

I had no idea what was going on.

Jasper tangled his strong arms around me, pulling me to his chest with a rough thud. He buried his face in my neck as his fingers curled into my shirt. “I can’t do this anymore,” he gasped.

“Can’t do what, honey?” I asked, confused. I gently nuzzled his hair, trying to soothe him. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I promise.”

He shook his head. “I- I can’t keep looking at these- I can’t keep doing this,” he stuttered out brokenly. “I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I keep trying, but when I do, I have nightmares. And I watch you die in a million ways. Every fucking time. And I can’t anymore.”

“Oh,” I breathed, leaning my head against his. I didn’t know what to say. “Um, I’m here. I’m okay. I’m here now. I’ll keep the nightmares away,” I whispered into his hair, trying to hold back my tears. I wanted to be strong for him. It wouldn’t help if I freaked out, too.

His fingers curled tighter into the fabric of my crop top. “It’s too raw. It’s too fresh. I can’t, I can’t,” he repeated as he gasped for air. “I knew I couldn’t. I knew I needed more time. But… But what if I can’t do this anymore?” He blurted out the words brokenly. “This is my job! This is my career. I have trained for this my whole life, and I’ve thrown up like a goddamn rookie at just photographs. Fucking pictures!”

“Then we’ll figure out the next step together,” I swore. It was as simple as that.

Sitting back, he wiped his face with his palm roughly. Digging his nails into his scalp, he looked up towards the ceiling. His cheeks were splotchy and red, sticky with snot and tears. “What is that, huh? I can’t even think of-” he started again, shaking his head.

I shrugged, touching his knee gently. “You could research. Or teach. I don’t know, but you don’t have to start over. You don’t have to throw the whole baby out with the bathwater, you know?” I took his hands, bringing them up to my lips to kiss. “You just need a break. And until you figure out what you want to do, maybe we can live off of my advance if that guy was for real,” I joked. “I can take care of us for a little while.”

Jasper swallowed, licking his lips. He had to concentrate on getting the words out. “He is. He has a good reputation, and no record other than an utter disrespect of Manhattan parking laws.”

His words gave me pause, distracting me for a moment. “Do you think I should take it?” I asked my distressed boyfriend. I blurted it out.

He smiled at me slowly, touching my cheek. “He’s helped a lot of first-time authors in his field. I think it’s up to you what you want to do, though.” That meant yes, but he would never make a decision this big for me.

I sat back on my bottom, adjusting my legs so that they were more comfortable. They were falling asleep because of the position we were in. “Well, there you go. That’s almost what I make in a year.”

“As sweet as you are, don’t worry about that part. I could take care of myself for a good long time if I flake on this. I wouldn’t let you,” he mumbled, gazing at me from underneath his clumped up eyelashes.

“I’d want to.” He had been paying for everything for months. I didn’t mind doing it for a while, especially after what he went through. He needed more than a vacation. He deserved to heal completely, mentally, and physically.

“I know,” he whispered as he took my face and tugged me towards him. For the first time in a week, he kissed me. This was not fun making out, but desperate and scared. Wet, his lips were salty. When he pulled away, he laid his forehead against mine. Both of Jasper’s hands were on my cheeks. “God, look at you. You’re so fucking cute, and here I am, having a mental breakdown. This is not what you wanted tonight. I’m sorry that I’m nuts.”

Gently, I pushed him back so he would look at me. My fingers tightened around the shoulders of his blazer. “No. You will not do that. You will not feel guilty for expressing your emotions to me. I want you to, no matter what they are. I am here for you. And you are not crazy. You went through something terrible. You’ve handled it so much better than I could. You are so strong, but even heroes need a minute to breathe.”

“Yes, you are here for me,” he agreed in a tiny voice before forcing a smile. Once again, he pulled me closer, and we hugged for a long time. When he finally calmed down completely, he whispered, “It smells good in here.”

“I made you dinner and some dessert. I figured you’ve been eating like garbage without me,” I teased gently.

Chuckling, Jasper shook his head. “I’ve barely been able to keep anything down. But that’s making my mouth water.”

I stood up from the floor and offered him my hands. He looked at them for a moment, almost as if he was confused. “Come on. Let me go make you some while you get comfortable.”

“You’re too good for me.”

Taking them slowly, he rose to his full height. I bent my head back to look into his red-rimmed eyes, my arms going around his waist. “No, I’m not. Jasper, when this is over, you can do whatever you need to do, and I will support you. If you want to become a professor or focus on your art full-time for a while, I will be by your side. I know you really can’t just drop it right now, but-”

“I know you will be, darlin. And I promise I’ll be by yours when you become a best-selling author.” I giggled softly at his words, his hands resting on the small of my back as he pulled me closer. “Oh, maybe I can become your full-time bodyguard,” he joked with a tiny smile.

“Oo, I like that,” I teased, lifting on my toes so I could push my lips against his. He smiled just a little against them. “Now, go get changed. You don’t want crumbs all over your jacket.”

By the time I finished making him a bowl of hot stew with some buttered cornbread, he had switched into a t-shirt and flannel sleep pants. Jasper looked so drained, plopping down into the old wooden chair with a squeak. I hurried to get him a beer from the fridge. When I tried to go get something else, he pulled me down into his lap.

“Thank you for coming up here. It makes me feel so much better to have you in my arms again,” he told me as he pushed my hair behind my ear. “I can’t do this without you.”

“It’s the only place I wanted to be.” I kissed him firmly, showing how much I meant it. “Now, let’s get you fed, and we’ll go get some sleep.”

“Okay,” he chuckled before kissing the side of my neck. Quietly, he groaned. “Chocolate?” Jasper leaned in to get another taste, humming as he did.

“Yup. And you can have more of it after you eat some real food,” I promised.

We went to bed right after. He fell asleep instantly.

“Hey… It’s Dr. Hale,” I heard him say in a soft tone. It was dark, the room slightly cold. I pulled the blanket tighter around me, trying to stay quiet. “Yeah. I won’t make it in today.” He paused. “I’m having some stomach issues,” he sighed, his voice weak. “Yeah, I did throw up in the trash a couple of days ago. I apologize for you having to witness it, and I appreciate you ignoring it. Obviously, I’ve been trying to do the same. I’ll attempt to sleep it off, and tomorrow, I’ll go to the doctor if I need to. Thank you for your concern. I’ll manage. I’ll text you later if I’m not able to make it tomorrow. Yes. Yes, sir. Thank you. I will. Goodbye.”

The words hung in the air for a long time. He didn’t move from his spot on the sofa, though. I sat up slowly. “Jasper? Are you okay?”

He hadn’t realized I was awake, and it surprised him. “What? Oh. Yeah. Yeah,” he blurted out, shaking his head as he looked down at the phone in his hand. “I just… need a minute, you know?” He glanced up at me, grimacing as if he was in pain. “I need a day off with you to get my head right.”

I got up and walked over to the couch to him. “Okay. I don’t mind it. I missed you,” I remarked as I slid my hands from his shoulder down his arm. “Are you going back?” I questioned seriously.

Jasper nodded, putting my arms around his neck as I leaned down behind him. “Yes. I have to.”

“No, you don’t. You could refuse to be a part of this, just quit. You can’t ignore the trial, but that’s a long way off, and you’ll have more time to deal.”

Scoffing, he tilted his head back against my shoulder and sighed. “No. I’ll go back tomorrow.”

“Okay. But only if you want to.” I kissed his temple after I spoke. “Promise me you’ll go speak to a counselor. I know the FBI or the Albany police have to have one.” I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, crossing them over his chest as I pressed my nose into his cheek. “It’s normal to have anxiety after what you’ve gone through, and there is nothing wrong with asking for help to deal with it.”

“I have been,” he promised, putting his hand on top of my crossed wrists. Jasper turned his face towards mine. “Twice this week. And I’ll go again.”

“And they think you’re ready to go back to duty?”

He swallowed and sighed, blinking off into the distance. “They consider this soft. It’s just a lot of talking and looking. Remembering. I get to look at every little girl he destroyed, and I get to listen to his gleeful description of the entire event. He is a monster. Charming and pretty and fucking insane. He talks so much, but I’m sure half of it is lies. But then the details he gives on what he does to them is… dead-on. No pun intended.” Jasper looked towards the mirror at our shared reflection. “I should have killed him.”

“No,” I breathed. “Even if he deserved to die, you’ll bring justice to so many families. I know this is painful because you’re one of his victims now, but you’re still a hero. You’re still strong. You’re still brave.”

“I have clung to you like a nervous child for the past few months. I’m not sure how you can think that about me,” he said in embarrassment. “I’ve needed you for everything. You’ve been my maid, nurse, and caretaker in every way.”

My arms tightened around him. “Don’t you think that’s what I wanted to do? I loved every minute we were together.” He scoffed. I gently pinched his arm in answer. “I’m not a liar.”

“No.” He smiled. “You’re not.”

“Now, let me take care of you. We can do whatever you want today. Whatever you need. I just want to make you feel better.” I kissed his hair repeatedly. Closing my eyes, I savored our closeness as his fingers slid over mine. They twisted together, locking my arm tight over his chest.

“Can we play, Goddess?”

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4/3/2020

Key. Chapter Eight: A Restroom in a Club

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Chapter Eight: A Restroom in a Club

Five hours later, we were both stuffed with fantastic food and half tipsy. We had fun just hanging out and pampering ourselves before we killed our feet for the evening. The limo driver opened the door for us. It was already filled with probably fifteen women and a few guys. Tanya grinned when we got in.

“Tonight will be amazing!” She beamed at us. My roommate looked even better than she did in the morning. She had professionals do her makeup, and it showed.

The music was loud as soon as we got inside. A host led us to the VIP area enclosed with velvet ropes and bouncers, and only those with the correct bracelet got in. More of her friends would show up on their own. Probably every person she ever met. My roommate had been talking about the party for a month solid leading up to the event.

“Who’s ready for shots!” One of her buddies began straight away.

Three Jagermeisters, two bottles of Patron, and a Grey Goose later, the room was crammed with drunk skinny women. Alice and I kept mostly to ourselves, though Tanya kept checking on us. Whenever she did, she brought us another shot. We would throw it back with her like we were all college girls, not adults nearing middle-aged. It was almost enough to make me forget everything that was going on in my life at that moment.

We were silly, having way too much fun as Alice and I moved together. We held our hands over our heads as we giggled and swayed. Clapping, we sang to each other, even though we were too drunk to know the words or to have any rhythm. My feet and body would hate me the following day.

“I gotta pee!” She yelled at me after a few songs.

“I need to sit for a minute,” I admitted. I also needed some water. The room was spinning, and I was sweating my ass off.

We walked towards the VIP section together, lifting our wrists to show the massive bouncer our blue bracelets. It had its own exclusive bathroom, so there wouldn’t be much of a line. Looking around, I realized that there were so many people there I didn’t know.

“I’ll be back in a few,” she mumbled before she made her way in the right direction. I went the other to find a place to plop down.

Thankfully, there was a couch in the corner that was surrounded by a few empty chairs. It was dark and hidden against a brick wall. I flopped onto the sofa, closing my eyes as I leaned my head back.

“Are you alright?” Edward curiously asked. I hadn’t even realized he was there across from me in one of the chairs. My head snapped up in surprise. He was wedged up into one corner of it, his expression blank as he took a slow sip of whiskey. He looked like he should have been in front of a fireplace in a quiet library, not in a noisy club.

“Yeah. Just… hot. I don’t party a lot.”

“Mm…” he hummed, glanced off into the VIP lounge. “We do almost every weekend.”

“I couldn’t do that,” I breathed, sitting back some. Ungracefully, I wiped a little sweat from my forehead. “My liver would hate me.” He chuckled some, but it was hollow. “Where’s the birthday girl?”

Edward shrugged, not looking at me as he did. “She’s fighting with someone I can’t remember the name of for a reason I have yet to be told about. In the bathroom.”

“Oh. Well, Alice is in there. Maybe she’ll hear something,” I babbled because I didn’t know what else to.

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “It won’t matter tomorrow.” Edward sighed and put his empty glass on the table in front of us. “It’s something petty, I’m sure. Someone insulted someone’s hair or makeup. Someone ‘stole’ a job or whatever. It’s always the same four or five fights.”

“Oh,” I repeated. We were both quiet for a tick. “You look so… bored,” I concluded. I didn’t know how else to describe it. He wasn’t frustrated, just done.

For a long moment, he stared at me. It was like he was considering what he wanted to say. “Yeah, I am. I am bored. And disappointed. It’s always something like this. Is this what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life? I love Tanya, I do. I even have a ring, but something is stopping me, and it’s shit like this.”

Sighing, I looked away. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say. “I mean, she’s a party girl. You knew that going in. What you see is what you get.”

“Perhaps that’s the problem. I know you’re more than what you seem.”

“Don’t flirt,” I breathed.

Looking down at his lap, he appeared almost pained. “I’m not.” He peered off again before glancing back. “You don’t know how much I regret getting off on the wrong foot with you how I did. I was so fucking stupid and over-confident. And I didn’t appreciate how you might have felt. I didn’t see the signs in front of me and didn’t respect your boundaries. I am a terrible Dom, and I didn’t deserve your submission,” he finished, his voice low so no one could hear the last sentence.

Once again, I was speechless. He seemed so sincere. I wanted to beg him to stop, but he was opening up to me. But what he did wasn’t okay, and I wouldn’t say that it was. “I’m sure you’re not terrible. You just weren’t thinking.”

“No, I wasn’t. But I’ve certainly been reflecting on all the things I did wrong since then,” he grumbled, widening his eyes. I laughed softly, shaking my head. “I don’t suppose you’d like to dance?” Edward suddenly questioned.

“That’s not a good idea,” I said automatically.

“Why?” He inquired almost innocently.

I laughed once more, shaking my head as I looked at him as if he was stupid. “You know why.”

“I’ll be a gentleman, I swear. We’re friends, correct? You’re right, I am bored, and I’d like to dance at least a little tonight. I’d honestly prefer that it was with my girlfriend, but-” He waved his hand in the general direction of restrooms. “I understand if it would make you too uncomfortable, but I would like to move forward. If we can.”

I almost hated how adult he was about the whole thing. My drunken brain couldn’t think of a reason to turn him down. Sighing, I stood. “You will leave room for the Holy Ghost, or I’ll make sure Tanya won’t be getting birthday sex.”

“Damn,” he laughed as he stood to his feet, too. “Yes, ma’am. I have to say, I appreciate the creativity of your threats.” I giggled, making him genuinely smile.

It was the middle of the song when we got to the dance floor. It was a fun, bouncy tune. I didn’t know it, but it had a great beat, and it was easy to move to. Edward stayed at least six inches away from me. Then he took my hand before placing the other on my waist. He was looking down at me with such an intense expression, his lip between his teeth.

Suddenly, it felt like one of the many fantasies I had of him when I used to have them. Us in a thumping club, doing something we shouldn’t have been. Tanya wouldn’t care. But Jasper would want to strangle him. Even if we were just friends, and we weren’t doing anything wrong. And nothing ever would because I didn’t want it to.

I tried to pull back, wanting to run away from the emotions. Edward was holding onto me, though. I almost tripped backward, but his arms wrapped around me.

“Whoa! Careful there,” he murmured.

With my hands braced on his chest, I gazed into his deep green eyes. I wanted to get as far away from them as fast as possible. My head was swimming, the music far too loud. I needed it to stop.

“This was a bad idea. Sorry,” I muttered as I corrected myself. As quickly as I could, I tugged away from him.

“Bella, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

Rushing towards the VIP lounge, I knew he was behind me the entire time, but I couldn’t look back. I didn’t see Alice, so I went to the bathroom. He stopped at the door with a huff. She, Tanya, and about four women were gathered around the mirror. One of them was drunkenly crying. They all looked at me in confusion at my abrupt entrance.

“Everything okay?” Tanya asked me slowly.

Panting, I frowned. No. It wasn’t, and I was annoyed with her, but I wasn’t sure why. “Look, I don’t know what the hell is going on, but your boyfriend is miserable out there. What are you doing in the bathroom on your birthday? This is some high school shit.”

“Ugh, it really is,” she agreed with a roll of her eyes. “It’s just that Brenda took my-”

“Tanya!” I interrupted her. Edward had been correct, and it made me feel pity for him. “It’s your birthday, and he spent a lot of money to make you happy. And you’re in the smelly ass restroom making someone cry.” I looked at Alice with a frown. “I’m sorry, but I’m ready to go. Do you want to get an Uber?”

We made it back to my apartment by one in the evening. Alice explained all the stupid drama they were trying to convey to her. She didn’t mean to get roped into it, nor did she intend to leave me alone with Edward. Everything was as juvenile as expected. It made me feel exhausted.

“I’m going to go talk to Jasper and head to bed,” I grunted once we got inside. “Sorry about tonight.”

“It’s alright. I’m going to get cleaned up and crash on the couch. Is it okay if I take a shower?”

“Go for it,” I replied, texting him as I did. “I did something stupid,” I informed my boyfriend.

The phone rang instantly. It was as if he was waiting for me. “I realize you’re probably just drunk, but are you okay?” He tried to say as calmly as possible, but I could hear the worry in it. And it made me feel worse.

I opened my mouth to answer, but I whimpered. “I-I danced with Edward for maybe ten seconds because he was all pathetic and sad. Because Tanya ignored him all night. Saying we’re friends and how he wanted to move forward like a mature person. But then I realized I didn’t even want to do that. That I couldn’t. And I just ran away from him like a fucking coward. Then I told Tanya off on her birthday because she was in the bathroom trying to stir up shit with her friends instead of grinding on her man. Like she should have been. And I don’t know why I agreed in the first place, and I only want to be with you. I miss you,” I finished, starting to cry. “I’m sorry.”

My boyfriend sighed. “Where are you right now?”

“The apartment.”

“Good. And how much have you had to drink?” He asked gently.

“I don’t know,” I admitted, sniffling loudly.

“Where’s Alice?”

“Taking a shower.”

He sighed again. “Isabella, go get a glass of water. Right now.” He wasn’t mad. He was just taking control of the moment and knew I would listen to him when he said my name like that.

I sucked in a quick breath. Automatically, I stood to go do that. “Yes, sir.”

“I’m glad you exited the situation when you did, darlin. Did he make you uncomfortable while you were dancing?”

“No. It was literally seconds. He did nothing wrong. Edward was fine. I feel awful for him. It was me. I- I-” I stuttered. “But I didn’t want him touching me anymore because it felt like one of my-” I stopped myself from saying the word out loud. “Because he wasn’t you, and I didn’t want anyone else to look at me like that. I’m yours, and I only want to be yours.”

I got a bottle of water from the fridge and took a big swig as I leaned against it. “Good girl,” he soothingly cooed in my ear as I did.

“I shouldn’t have-”

“Isabella,” he interrupted me. “I trust you completely. You could have danced with him if you wished, but I have to admit I would prefer if he jumped off a cliff. But it would have only been a dance because you’re mine and nothing changes that. I know that. Now, take another drink of water.” I did as I was told, panting as I plopped onto my bed. I don’t know how my feet carried me there.

“Punish me when I get to New York,” I begged.

“I will,” he responded right away, “but for your excessive drinking this week,” he said before clicking his tongue in fake disappointment. He was teasing me, showing that he wasn’t upset. “You become a wild thing when I’m not there, it seems.”

I laughed at his words. “I’m sure the liquor will punish me for that first.”

“Well, your ass will pay for it one way or the other. How many spankings should I give you, hm?”

“Is this how you’re going to distract me from my drunken panic attack?” I asked in a soft breath.

“Yes. Now answer my question.”

Biting my lip to hide my small smile, I looked down at my cold bottle of water. “I don’t know, sir. A lot.”

“You would say that no matter what you did,” he replied jokingly. “Bella,” Jasper breathed my name, getting more serious. “Don’t worry. I’m not upset. You didn’t handle the situation perfectly, but that’s okay. I love you and trust you. We’re fine, I promise, and in just two days, we’ll be back together again. And none of this will matter.”

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Key
A Locke Sequel

Updates
Tuesday and Fridays

Warning:
This story contains graphic sexual depictions, violence, and mental illness. Reader discretion is advised. 18+ only

Join my facebook group for teaser, news, and more!

Key. Chapter Thirteen: In the Snow

Chapter Thirteen: In the Snow

Thanks to Gina for proofreading this chapter!

Key. Chapter Twelve: In his Defense

Chapter Twelve: In his Defense

Thanks to Gina for proofreading!

Key. Chapter Eleven: On a Thumb Drive

Chapter Eleven: On a Thumb Drive

Thanks to Gina for proofreading this chapter!

Key. Chapter Ten: In Control

Chapter Eight: In Control

Thanks to Gina for proofreading this chapter!

💛💛💛Hi everyone! Key is taking next week off (April 13-17) so I can focus on my daughter's 15th birthday! (😭cries in old lady😭) Key will return April 21st with Chapter Eleven: On a Thumb Drive. See you then and stay healthy!💛💛💛

Key. Chapter Nine: In a Shabby Apartment

Chapter Nine: In a Shabby Apartment

Key. Chapter Eight: A Restroom in a Club

Chapter Eight: A Restroom in a Club

Archives

KeyA Locke Sequel

Updates​Tuesday and Fridays

Warning:This story contains graphic sexual depictions, violence, and mental illness. Reader discretion is advised. 18+ only

Join my facebook group for teaser, news, and more!

Key. Chapter Thirteen: In the Snow

Chapter Thirteen: In the Snow

Thanks to Gina for proofreading this chapter!

Key. Chapter Twelve: In his Defense

Chapter Twelve: In his Defense

Thanks to Gina for proofreading!

Key. Chapter Eleven: On a Thumb Drive

Chapter Eleven: On a Thumb Drive

Thanks to Gina for proofreading this chapter!

Key. Chapter Ten: In Control

Chapter Eight: In Control

Thanks to Gina for proofreading this chapter!

💛💛💛Hi everyone! Key is taking next week off (April 13-17) so I can focus on my daughter's 15th birthday! (😭cries in old lady😭) Key will return April 21st with Chapter Eleven: On a Thumb Drive. See you then and stay healthy!💛💛💛

Key. Chapter Nine: In a Shabby Apartment

Chapter Nine: In a Shabby Apartment

Key. Chapter Eight: A Restroom in a Club

Chapter Eight: A Restroom in a Club

Archives

Key
A Locke Sequel

Updates
Tuesday and Fridays

Warning:
This story contains graphic sexual depictions, violence, and mental illness. Reader discretion is advised. 18+ only