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7/29/2020

Episode One-hundred-forty-three: Hot Tub

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Episode One-hundred-forty-three: Hot Tub

Jasper sat beside me in the darkness with his arm wrapped around me. I had my head on his shoulder as we finished our joints. Nature sang all around us, the weather perfect. Early May in California was incredible. He snubbed his own out on the deck next to him and stretched.

He looked over at me impishly. “Care for a skinny dip?”

I laughed. “In the hot tub, sure. I don’t know what bites in these waters.” I kicked my toe at it, just skimming the murky surface.

“That’s true,” he agreed with a chuckle. Standing, he offered me his hand. Slowly taking it, I stood to my feet. When I reached my full height, our gazes locked. His fingers moved over my cheek as he grinned, pushing my hair behind my ear. Lightly, he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

He didn’t let go as we walked back up the pier. I didn’t want him to.

There was something about his closeness that gave me so much pleasure. Everything about him was comforting. Jasper was such a gentle soul, and I could see why Edward was so drawn to him. Playful, sweet, soft, and everything a person could want from a partner. It felt like every moment I spent near him, the more I grew attached.

The Jacuzzi was big enough for ten people, the water bright blue and bubbling. He pulled my shirt off and threw it onto the table. Next were his boxers. Jasper helped me step in before joining me. His eyes got wider with the temperature, being purposefully silly to make me smile. Right away, he tugged me onto his lap. I relaxed against him, closing my eyes with a gigantic smile. His arms curled around my waist.

“So, I’m going to take you somewhere extra special on our first date alone together,” I promised, tracing his knuckles with my fingertips. “To make up for flaking.”

He leaned his face against my temple. “You don’t have to do that, dove.”

“I want to.”

He rested his chin on my shoulder. “What do you want to do? Hm? We could just go find a new place to have sex.” I laughed, so he continued. “Oh, maybe in public. Out in nature. Ah, a picnic.”

“You got there the dirtiest way possible.” I glanced at him.

“Yeah,” he grinned before he bent forward to kiss my cheek. “But seriously, I’d love anything you’d want to do, as long as I’m with you.”

I turned to straddle his waist. Gently, he massaged my thighs, smirking at having my breasts in his face. I ran my fingers through his hair because I knew he liked it. Tugging it back, I lightly pecked his lips. “I won’t have sex with you in public, but I’d love to go on a picnic. Maybe we can go on one when we visit Washington. On my family’s land.”

“You’re so proud of that.” He smiled, his hands moving up my spine.

“I am. It’s beautiful, and I feel a connection to it, even if I’ve only been once. I can’t wait to go back. I’m so glad you’re going with me.”

“I am, too. And I’m glad you’ll be with me in Sydney. It’ll make it easier. I’m a little relieved he’s not going, to be honest.”

This shocked me. Edward missed his family there and would love to go back. I also knew that he felt terribly guilty for not being able to join us. “Why?”

“I can’t hide it from our friends,” he explained in a rather dramatic tone, making big hand gestures. “They’ll give me shit for coming out, probably. But they won’t think of me flirting with you. That’s how I am, and they’re used to it. But they’re not stupid. At least one of them will figure out I’m mad for him. If they haven’t already. And he’s a giddy kid right now. Pleased as punch that he’s getting everything he’s ever wanted.”

Nodding in understanding, I bit my lip. “If he went, his sisters would know right away.”

“Fuck, they probably already know,” he sighed. Jasper ran his fingers through his hair as he looked away.

“They think they know everything,” a sleepy Edward mumbled, stumbling out of the backdoor in his briefs. He leaned against the door frame. His eyes were barely open, and there were pillow marks in his skin. “Am I interrupting anything?”

“Of course not. Come join us. The joints are over there if you want one.” I came to the side and pointed to them. Resting my arms on the edge, I leaned my head on them as I watched him with a grin.

He walked to the table and brought two of them from the box, passing us each one and the lighter before pulling his shorts down. He threw them over his shoulder with a smirk.

“I’m never going to get sick of that,” Jasper joked as he lit his, snickering devilishly. Edward stepped into the water, bending down to kiss him before accepting it from him. He yawned after taking a long hit. “I’m sorry we woke you.”

He shook his head. “It’s okay. I just noticed you were gone a while,” he murmured, still drowsy. Leaning his face back, his eyes slowly shut. “Oh, fuck. This is nice.”

“Do we need a hot tub for the house?” I questioned.

Taking a hit, he shrugged. “Maybe. There is room in the backyard for one. Our next home will have one for sure. Perhaps an indoor pool. A sauna, too. And a full recording studio.”

Softly, I laughed. “It sounds like you’re already designing it in your head.” He grinned, his eyes still closed. “How many bedrooms?” I slid my hand over his chest. Jasper lit the joint I had in my other hand.

“A lot. A huge one for us with a walk-in closet. Several guest rooms so my family can visit. Plus, the kids’ rooms. I want to give us each an office to have personal space to work and record in. Maybe give you a studio. A second kitchen only for filming with a walk-in freezer.”

“It’s sweet that you want to have special rooms for your nieces,” I smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder. I took a long hit and blew it out through my nose. I could feel myself getting quite high.

He chuckled softly. “I actually meant yours, mine, and Jasper’s. But yeah, them too. With a big playroom with all the toys.”

“Oh, don’t get me in trouble with her, you impatient prat,” our boyfriend teased him with a huge smirk. “Ugh, you probably have themes for their bedrooms, and their names picked out in your head like a lady,” he finished in a thick accent.

“No,” he snorted. “I’m just trying to be practical.”

“If you were a woman, you would have already gotten yourself in the family way on purpose,” he accused. Laughing loudly, I looked away from them. “Whoops, forgot me pills,” he continued in his accent. Jasper was attempting to rile him.

“Hey!” He grunted. “I wouldn’t be deceitful about it. And I didn’t feel this way until I met Bella. I wanted kids, sure, but it’s different now. It feels like something I need. Especially after watching Tyler and Lauren today. Apparently, I have a clock, too.”

“Why would you need them?” I pushed gently. “You have everything right now. Money, freedom… Children would change your whole lifestyle.”

“First, change is amazing. Changing got me here. And… Because I need to know what a baby girl with your curls and eyes and my nose and chin look like. Or a little boy with his smile and your cheeks. He’d definitely have dark curly hair.” He grinned for a moment. “I just need to hold them and kiss them and tell them I love them. That I’ll support whatever they want to do with their lives, and I’ll give them everything they need to grow into the best versions of themselves, whatever that may be.”

Jasper leaned in to kiss his cheek lightly. “Darling, you don’t need to rush to fix your parents’ mistakes. You’ve got time.”

He scrunched up his nose, gazing at him. “I’m not.”

“You’re twenty-five. You are. I don’t want to have children yet. Bella, the woman who would carry them, doesn’t either. So, you might want to fucking cool it with setting up your dream nursery, Shelia.”

He laughed at his attitude. “I’m not drawing up the designs. I’m just thinking about our next home. As much as I adore the house, it’s barely big enough for us. You know I have to plan for the future, love. That’s who I am. No, not right now. But in like two years? It takes a while to be built, and that’s the only way we will get exactly what we want from it. We have a truly unique set of needs.”

Jasper straddled his waist, bringing his smoke to Edward’s lip. He took a long drag, his hands resting on his hips. “We’ll get there. Let’s be a trio for a little while before we add to this clan. We still have a lot of things to work out.”

“We do,” he agreed. Our boyfriend brought the joint back to his lips, letting him take a long hit. “You are so high right now. I can see it in your eyes.” He chuckled before they kissed slowly. He turned to me, holding out his hand. “We’re practically ignoring you. Come here.” Scooting closer to him, I rested my head on his shoulder again. “I’m not rushing, I promise. I’m just excited. I’m sorry.”

“I know.” I nuzzled his cheek. “Don’t apologize. He’s only teasing you.”

“No, he’s not,” he whispered, pecking my lips several times. “Stop being an asshole and kiss me,” he declared.

Chuckling, Jasper pecked his neck lightly. Edward slipped his hand under the water and gripped his ass tightly as he came closer. Their chests were pressed together. I could see their tongues move in their mouths as it became more intense. Taking the joint from his grip, I put both of them in the ashtray.

I got on my knees beside them. He moved as if he was going to get off him, one of his legs between his spread knees. Our boyfriend pulled me towards him so we were each straddling a thigh instead.

Edward put a hand on each of our asses. “Yes, this is exactly what I want,” he cooed as he pulled us as close as he could. First, he pressed kisses to my breasts before pecking at his chest. “My loves,” he murmured against his skin. “You’re both so sexy, all wet. And I love watching you together. Not just sex, but normal things. Sometimes I wish I could just… observe. Not be involved.”

“You’ll watch our videos soon enough when we cook when you’re not around,” Jasper promised.

He grinned. “That’s true. You’re perfect together. I adore watching what we’ve done. It’s everything I hoped. It feels like everything is falling into place.” He closed his eyes as his smile grew. “The chemistry is so strong.”

“I think we need to tell the guys soon,” I blurted out to them. He opened them again. “We already keep screwing up, and Sarah figured it out in two seconds. They are our friends. I don’t think they’d judge us too much. And if they do… well, we need to know now. It’ll be a bigger problem the longer we wait. And it might offend them if we keep it from them.”

Edward sighed. “Maybe. How do we even do that?”

“Sit them down and tell them the truth. It changes nothing. But isn’t it nice when we can be ourselves around her? Imagine that, but with the whole crew. We can hug and kiss, and it won’t cause a scene. You can be your full self even more in the videos.”

“I’m not close.”

“You are closer now than you’ve ever been,” Jasper countered, lifting his chin. “Bigger, brighter, sillier, but you’re that confident, sexy person. But you don’t have to be that all the time, and we don’t want you to be.”

“It’s more up to you if we tell them than it is me. I would tell everyone if it didn’t upset you.”

“It’s just so soon.”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’m scared it’ll go bad if they find out on their own. We should respect them enough to be honest with them.”

He looked up at Jasper expectantly. Finally, he sighed. “If you want to talk to them about it, fine. But only them. Consider it a test run for the others. Sarah is one thing because clearly, she’s too much.” He put both of his hands on Edward’s shoulders for balance. “God, that scares me.”

“Why?” He said in surprise.

“What if I lose you friends? Work partners?”

“Darling, if they go, they weren’t my friends in the first damn place, and I’d want them to leave if that was how they reacted. You’re more important to me, a million times more.”

“What if you lose work? Disney?” He shrugged. “You’d be devastated.”

“No. I’d be angry. There is no such clause that says I can’t have a healthy, loving relationship in my contract. They’ve worked with racists, rapists, and creeps. I think they can handle a little gay polygamy. And I’d sue the shit out of them. Trust me, I’ve had my lawyers look at my contracts closely. And I’ve added some things into mine with Zafrina. Sweetheart, I’d burn everything down just for your friendship. What do you think I would do for your love?”

Jasper hugged his head to his chest with both arms, kissing his hair. “Sweet man,” he whispered into his locks, borrowing my phrase. Edward beamed, his arm tightening around my waist. “It frightens me that you have everything to lose. If I do, it’s not that much. But you, and now Bella…”

“I’d rather have you than money,” I said promptly. “You have to know that I’d give it all to you right now if you asked for it.”

He grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me deeply. “I know,” he whispered.

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Thanks to Gina for proofreading!

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💛Hey y'all!💛
Just to let everyone know, I'll be taking most of August off for health reasons.
📸Imperfect Pictures 📸
will return
August 31st, 2020!
See y'all then!
✨Jeska ✨

7/27/2020

Episode One-hundred-forty-two: A Little Jealous

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Episode One-hundred-forty-two: A Little Jealous

When we arrived at a grocery store close to the cabin, it was dark, and there were hardly any cars in the lot. As soon as we stopped, Edward leaned over for a kiss. His warm hand slid around my neck, holding the side. When he did, Jasper pecked his cheek then mine as he inclined forward from the backseat. I turned my face to catch his lips, and our boyfriend kissed my jaw. I smiled happily.

They made out for a minute while I nibbled on Edward’s ear as my fingers skimmed over the inside of his thigh. His half-hard erection jumped in his jeans. He moaned softly. It probably went on for far too long in a public space, even if no one could see us in the car. But it was so difficult to stop.

“I’m so ready for this weekend,” he mumbled against his lips. He pecked them again, his fingers twisting into Jasper’s blond curls. “I’m glad we’re doing this. I wish it were longer.” He turned and kissed my nose.

“Me too,” we agreed at the same time.

“But New York will be great in a couple of weeks, though. It’ll be fun to see your friends again,” he continued, leaning back some. He stroked my cheek with his knuckles. “We should go clubbing again and invite them all.”

“I want arepas while we’re there,” I admitted. “I miss them. Maybe we can eat there together before we go anywhere.”

Chuckling, he finally opened his car door. “Okay, so next on our list of restaurants to try should be them in LA? Is that what you’re saying?”

I got out too. “Ugh, but nothing compares to theirs,” I complained. “So freakin’ good.”

Jasper curled his arm around my waist, striding towards the entrance with me. “What’s an arepa again?”

“South American hot sandwich,” Edward explained quickly, walking backward in front of us. “It’s where she kicked the racist.”

“Right,” he pointed at him in understanding, patting my hip with his other hand. “I remember looking at the menu and thinking it sounded good. Let’s do it. Oh, do you make them at home?” He questioned as he glanced down at me. “I’m sure yours would be just as delicious, even if you don’t think so.”

“I’ve never tried, but I probably could. Add it to the list.” Edward was already typing on his phone beside us, turning the right direction so he wouldn’t run into anything. He was nodding and smiling. “Pork, black beans, and plantains?”

“Mm, yeah. Sounds great,” Jasper agreed. He looked over at our boyfriend. “Always working.”

“This isn’t working. This is planning to eat delicious things.”

Once inside, I pulled out a cart. “Alright… so, the primary thing we need is beer,” Jasper teased. “Where would that be?”

Shaking my head, I giggled softly. “Don’t worry. It’s not like we’re going to forget it.”

“I think I’m going to run to the loo real quick,” Edward said, peeking around for the sign. They were right up front at the far other end. I pointed at it for them. “Ah, thank you.”

“Oh… I’ll join you,” he added casually with an innocent smile.

Snorting, I rolled in the opposite direction. “Have fun. Don’t get caught,” I remarked just loud enough for them to hear.

“Caught doing what?” Jasper winked when I glanced over my shoulder at them. With his hand on the small of Edward’s back, they walked away together. Maybe a little too excitedly for a normal trip to the restroom.

I browsed through the fruits and vegetables, the meats and dairy, and was halfway through the snacks when they returned. Edward was flushed, his eyes glazed over, and his hair was sticking up in every direction. His appearance was fine, but I knew what he looked like after a good orgasm. Jasper just seemed satisfied. He peeked around to make sure no one was about and kissed me for a moment.

I could taste our boyfriend on his tongue. He smacked my ass before we started moving again. It made me jump and giggle, holding onto the cart with both hands.

“Not going to lie… I’m a little jealous you get to do that,” I teased them in a whisper. “Did you have fun?”

“He did,” Jasper quipped as he took over pushing it for me when I grabbed a bag of chips from the shelf. “We can sneak into the family bathroom if you’d like to… That’s what we did.”

Scoffing, I shook my head. “I’m patient enough to wait until we get to the cabin.”

“I’m not,” he cooed in my ear, gripping one of my ass cheeks as tightly as he could when I came back to throw the bag into the basket. At the same time, Edward did the other. Loudly, I squeaked. It made both of them chuckle. I swatted them away, getting a few steps ahead. Self-consciously, I pulled the back of my shirt down.

After we put our loot in the trunk, Jasper took my hand and tugged me towards him. “Come sit with me.”

“We shouldn’t distract Edward,” I commented with a smirk.

“No, no. Edward’s fine. This is what he wants,” he replied with a grin, going towards the front of the car. “Please?”

I laughed as I slipped inside. “I’m not going to fuck anyone back here and end up in a wreck. Especially when it’s only twenty minutes away.”

Jasper got in beside me, clicking his tongue. “Give me some credit. I don’t intend to fuck you. I plan to kiss and touch you until we get there. It’s called foreplay.”

“And how much foreplay did you need in the bathroom?” I grinned wickedly.

“I’m not done with him either.” He kissed my neck lightly. “I just want to hold you. I’ll be good. I promise. Let me,” he breathed against my ear, pecking my cheek. “I haven’t had you in my arms all day.”

“Oh, my god. You’re so smooth,” I teased as I scratched my nails over his jaw. He beamed at me innocently. I turned my face to the side and pecked his lips.

Twisting in the seat, I rested with my back against his chest while sitting between his legs. His arms curled around my waist, his mouth quickly finding my throat. His fingers pushed my shirt up, moving them over my bare skin. I dragged my fingertips over the tops of his forearms, relaxing against him. He still smelled slightly of the beach, the salt clinging to his clothes and hair.

“What a pretty smile,” Edward commented, and my eyes met his in the rearview mirror before he started the drive to the cabin. He turned on some music on his phone, and I recognized it right away. It was my strip tease playlist.

“I know I shouldn’t, but I want to give you a hickey,” Jasper mumbled against my skin, pushing my top further to the side. His lips drifted over the nape, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

I pointed to my collarbone. “From here down.”

“Oh, good,” he muttered before biting down on my shoulder. Gasping, my hands wrapped around his wrists. “I’m going to cover you in them this weekend. I’m going to give you some in places you’ve never had them before.”

“Like where?” I playfully challenged him.

His hand moved down my stomach and over my thighs. “Maybe the back of your calf?” I giggled at his silliness. “Have you ever had one on your ankle?”

“No, I haven’t,” I glanced back. He grinned down at me, slowly leaning in for a soft kiss. His palm slid between my legs, pressing against the warmth there. “Jasper,” I moaned. He continued to kiss me, becoming more demanding.

“Yes, my dove?” He purred, pecking my lips. He rubbed in a tight circle. My eyes fluttered shut. His other hand drifted up my body, between my breasts, and held my throat. It was the only thing keeping me from curling in on myself. “Louder, sweetheart. Let him hear you,” he commanded.

“Then make me louder,” I sassed. His fingers tightened around my neck while his other slid down the front of my yoga pants that I changed into after the party. Instantly, they were in my underwear. “Oh, god.”

“How much foreplay did you need?” He growled in my ear. Giggling, I squirmed against his touch. “You’ve already gotten your panties wet.”

I couldn’t say anything. His hand was pleasantly too tight around my neck, squeezing in time with my rocking. I tried to hold on to his wrist between my legs, attempting to slow him down, but he didn’t pay any attention.

“I’m going to fuck you so many times this weekend and in so many ways,” he swore. “We’ll fuck you at the same time. I’ll take your tight ass while you ride his cock.” I whimpered as I came. “Oh, you can’t wait, can you?” I barely shook my head. “We’ll take turns taking you from behind. And I can’t wait to see you in all the pretty things you brought.”

“I want to take pictures of you fucking her,” Edward added in seductively.

“Only photos?”

He chuckled. “No. Just to start.”

“How do you want to fuck her this weekend?” Jasper teased in my ear, asking our boyfriend. He never stopped playing with me.

“Mm…” he hummed, considering it. “I want her to fuck me, actually. With a strap-on again.” I felt Jasper’s erection jump against my back. “And I need her to sit on my face while you fuck me.”

Having them talk like I wasn’t even there while still focusing their attention on me was the biggest turn on.

“I was thinking the same, but I want you to fuck her while I eat her.”

“Damn. That, too. God, I can’t wait to drown in her pussy.”

I came again, this time yelling. Struggling against his grip, I bucked against Jasper. “Oh, that’s it. Good girl. Get wetter for us.” His words sent wild chills down my body that went all the way to my toes.

“Fuck,” I whined.

“You’d let me have you now, wouldn’t you?” I whimpered in answer. “You’d let me take you on your knees from behind with your trousers around your thighs?” He squeezed my throat. “Tell me you would.”

“Yes,” I sighed.

“Good thing we’re here now,” he chuckled in my ear. I opened my eyes to see that we were pulling up to the cabin.

When he pulled his fingers free, he sucked them clean. He opened the door, getting out first. He offered his hand to help me stand. As soon as I got out, Jasper picked me up around the thighs and threw me over his shoulder.

“Wait,” I laughed a little breathlessly. I was too turned on and horny to protest much. “We need to get the stuff inside.”

“I’ll do it. It’ll just take a second,” Edward promised. He rushed to the door to put the code in, so we could enter. Leaning in, he kissed Jasper hard on the mouth with his hand curled around the back of his neck. We were a few steps inside when he called out to us. “Wait. Stop. I want to do something first.”

With a big yank, he pulled both my yoga pants and panties down so that my ass was exposed to the air. “Oh, my god!” I squeaked and laughed, making them both chuckle. His fingers wrapped around my thighs before he tilted in to kiss between my legs.

“So wet,” he moaned against my skin before dragging his tongue slowly down to my clit. I felt Jasper’s arm tightened around my thighs while his other hand moved over my ass. He squeezed it, spreading me open for our boyfriend.

All I could do was hang on. This was definitely something that had never happened to me before. My fingers wrapped around his shirt, crying out into it. It was so tough not to kick my legs. When I came, I felt tears drip from my eyes.

“Oh, you’ve made her cum all down my chest,” Jasper chuckled, kissing my ass cheek.

“It’s so hard to stop,” he mumbled against my tender flesh, lightly pecking my lips. Then he kissed our boyfriend. His fingers tightened around my thigh as it got more passionate. Finally, he pushed himself away. “Fuck. Groceries. I’ll be just a second. Go get started.”

“We haven’t started yet?” I asked in a whimper.

Jasper smacked my ass. “Nope. Not even close.”

I was hot and sweaty when I woke up in the middle of the night. I wasn’t surprised, though. Nude, I was lying entirely on Edward with our boyfriend pressed to his side. I had three arms wrapped around me.

Slowly and carefully, I pushed myself up and rolled off of him to the side. He hummed and tried to reach for me.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” I giggled softly, kissing his cheek.

Humming again as he smiled, he adjusted a little as he nodded his head. I put his hand on Jasper’s, and his fingers curled around it automatically. He turned to his side, snuggling into him more. Lightly, he pecked his forehead, and I saw them both grin.

After I used the restroom, I felt entirely too awake. Everything was so quiet except for the crickets. I grabbed Edward’s shirt and pulled it on, taking the joints from the nightstand before I went outside to sit on the deck. I took one out and set the case on the table.

Quietly, I smoked while looking up at the moon and the stars. There was more than in LA or New York. We needed to take Jasper to Alaska to see the northern lights. I walked to the end of the pier that went to our private part of the lake. There was no one around us for miles, and we were totally alone. I didn’t know the last time I couldn’t hear cars.

When I heard the wood creak, I glanced behind me to see Jasper walking towards me in only his boxers. Beautifully disheveled, his wild blond curls were sticking up everywhere. He had an unlit joint hanging from his lips.

“Got the lighter?” He questioned. I held it up. “Oh, good. I don’t know where one is,” he mumbled as he sat down beside me. I lit it for him. “Ah, that’s better. I’ve not had a cigarette since I came, but I’m bloody craving them. This helps.”

“We should go to one of the shops together. Pick out new stuff to try. Edward always just picks what he likes, and I smoke his weed.”

He chuckled. “Well, he doesn’t mind in the least, but that sounds like fun.” Nodding, I kicked my toes in the warm water. They barely touched. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

Laughing, I glanced over at him. “Are you really jealous of Edward when it comes to me?” I blurted out.

“Yes,” he answered right away. I said nothing. “Is that so unbelievable?”

“A little,” I admitted, taking a drag of my smoke. I blew it out slowly. “You’re madly in love with him.”

He nodded. “I am. And he is with me. You opened the door to that. That’s how wonderful you are. I gave Tony so much shit for falling for you instantly and freaking out when you had to leave, but now I see it. I was a fucking wreck while we were apart.”

“You’re sweet,” I breathed. “But I don’t want you to feel as if you have to have a relationship with me just because he has one. I adore you, and I love being like this, but I don’t wish to force you.”

“You are not forcing anyone to do anything.” He touched the top of my hand. “I’ll be honest, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Not because I didn’t want one, but because I felt like I didn’t deserve one. I couldn’t give my entire self to anyone. You are the first person I’ve felt that way with. Not even Tony, even if it’s different now. And I had feelings for you before that first night together.”

“Really?”

He lit his joint again and sniffled. “Yeah, and I fucking felt horrible about it, too. In the hospital, when you shared your food with me even though you hadn’t eaten for days. I kept thinking, ‘God, I want this girl. Tony is fucking lucky. She’s incredible.’” I briefly laughed and shook my head. “I’m serious. I wanted to kiss you then. When you held my hand. You were so beautiful, and I was so scared he would lose the best thing that had ever happened to him. To us.”

Our fingers twisted together, and we kissed as we leaned into each other. “I always figured if we had a threesome, it would be Alice. But I never expected this. I wasn’t looking either. Though I’m not entirely sure I was ready for it.”

“For the three of us?”

“No, for a romantic relationship in general. I’m uncertain if I’m quite healed enough, and I’m worried about how it will affect us in the long run.”

Jasper relaxed some, tilting his face back. “Eh, it’s okay if you weren’t. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re both kinda caregivers. Especially Tony.”

I laughed. “It’s probably part of the reason he’s so attracted to me. He knows I’ll never get tired of his never-ending fountain of affection.”

Snorting, he shook his head. “Yes, you do. You just don’t get tired of the physical.”

“You understand, though. You hate it, too. The money.”

He took another drag. “So much. But we won’t slow him down at this point. It’ll be something we’re going to have to learn to cope with.”

“We’re bitching because our boyfriend is too generous. How lame.”

Jasper laughed again. “We are because we’re worried about him being overly so and extending himself and therefore resenting us over it later. But he really seems to be that good of a businessman. I’m a little speechless at the amount he has in the bank. Just cash, not even investments. He’s playing with stocks like it’s a video game, and he’s always been great at those.”

“He’s never shown me the exact amount, but I’ve also never asked,” I admitted. “How much?”

“He’d talk to you about it, but he thinks it would stress you out. Seventy-five, but he says he has a ton wrapped in investments, and he’s got a lot of paychecks coming in the next few months. Big ones. From Disney.”

“I wonder how quickly he made that,” I whispered under my breath.

“Four years. Six years ago, we were struggling kids and just playing around on YouTube. Then he got his first real gig, and it became business. But I remember searching the sofa with him for loose change to buy beer and fucking tacos. And now he buys Rolex like they’re candy.”

“I don’t think you know how much giving those to us meant to him.” Mine was on the bedside table with the rest of my jewelry, my rings, and the choker my aunt had made for me. I looked at my bare wrist. “He said they were to mark the beginning of our relationship together. Sweet man,” I sighed. Pausing for a moment, I tapped my fingers against the wood of the pier. “Jasper, if you ever feel jealous and need time alone, please let me know. I’ll go to New York or Washington by myself to give y’all time if you need it. I promise-”

He leaned over and kissed my lips. “I know, and thank you for the offer. Maybe in a couple of years, I’ll take you up on it. But this is what I want right now. The three of us. I’ve had Tony for years-”

“But you’ve been apart-”

We kept interrupting each other. “I know, but what if I want some alone time with you? I haven’t had that yet. Tony and I aren’t just in a relationship. You and I are, too. I want to be your boyfriend. I want this to work out and be forever, just like he does. That man in there, he means everything he says. You are his eternity, and I want to be a part of that. I figure he’s onto something.”

I giggled at his choice of words before getting more serious. “I feel like I need you to know that if I met you before him, I would have dated you. It’s not because of him I’m attracted to you. Honestly, I had feelings for you too, but I wouldn’t have acted on them if you hadn’t kissed him. I am so glad you did. I have felt more fulfilled than I ever have before.”

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7/20/2020

Episode One-hundred-forty-one: Duplicate

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Episode One-hundred-forty-one: Duplicate

Edward woke up excited about the baby shower. It was… a little strange, to be honest. It wasn’t exactly the type of party men got enthusiastic about normally. Perhaps Jasper was right about getting him a pet. He needed something to focus that kind of energy on.

Before we left, we packed our bags for the weekend. There was an entire plastic tub of sex toys. We didn’t bring much in the way of clothing, though. It all fit in the same suitcase.

I had gotten Lauren and Tyler a gift that was a little overboard. I might have had too much fun shopping in the baby section, doing a ten-minute spree where I just grabbed everything I thought was cute. It was so cheap for babies, and I knew I had the money to blow. I got clothes that were unisex in larger sizes since I knew everyone would give them newborn things. I wanted to be different. Also, I would take pictures at the event while Jasper, Edward, and Seth all filmed it. They would make it into a video. It was his best friend’s present to them. It was very sweet.

We showed up early to help them set up. The affair was being held at a rented pavilion by the beach. Her friends were helping decorate, and they were getting the whole thing catered. Lauren was in charge of the food, by choice, and she went nuts. It was a vegan calorie bomb feast. It was a thirty-foot long buffet that ended in several kinds of cupcakes because she couldn’t decide what she wanted and got them all. And for once, she could eat everything at a party without worrying about it destroying her innards.

As it got closer to the starting time, Tyler, with the help of Edward, brought out two enormous boxes from the back of his car. They were elegantly wrapped with white paper decorated with blue and pink hearts. They were put under a sign that said ‘boy or girl?’ with matching balloons. Streamers dangled from everywhere. Her friends had even found confetti that was edible and dissolved if soaked in water for too long, so they could use it without hurting the environment. It was light and floated around whenever the wind picked up. It was dusted on every surface.

I looked at Jasper when we had a second alone. Everyone seemed to have a job to do. Edward was doing the heavy lifting, moving tables around. Our boyfriend was following me to get B-roll for the video while I took photos of her friends and family preparing for the day. I already had over five-hundred. “Please don’t let him do this for me when we have kids. Reign him in.”

He snorted. “How?”

“Good question,” I mumbled and snapped a picture of him smiling. “At least make it not frilly for me. Maybe something elegant. You know, like yoga pants and hot wings.”

Chuckling, he winked at me.

The star of the show arrived right on time, being escorted by her mother and mother-in-law. They helped her from the car, scooting down from the high SUV. Waddling, Lauren’s ankles were visibly swollen. She was wearing the long, flowered dress that we picked for her photoshoot, and the wind whipped it around her legs.

We all did our parts, snapping pictures and filming as she walked towards us. She flushed a little. Tyler rushed to her, taking her hand. He quickly brought her into a kiss, whispering in her ear. She squeezed him back tightly, leaning into him.

She got passed around, hugging and kissing all the hundred or so people that showed up for it. Our friends were loved. The table of gifts was massive, stacked high with boxes and bags. There were three diaper cakes. One pink, one blue, and the last yellow and purple. They had at least four full packages of diapers with just bows on them.

They pulled out none of the stops to make sure they had everything they needed. There was nothing she could want for. The poor woman looked exhausted less than thirty minutes through.

“I’m so glad we’re eating first,” Lauren mumbled to me when she got a second to breathe. Her hand was on the bottom of her belly, holding it up. She pouted at my camera, and I took a close-up picture.

“Aren’t you ready to find out?” I teased gently. She just shrugged and picked up a plate. I giggled as she put two veggie burgers on it. “Those look good.” Smiling, she held it up to her nose playfully to sniff. I snapped her photo again, making her laugh. Then she scooped up some vegan mac and cheese and filled the rest of the dish with it. “I don’t suppose you’d help me fill up another?”

“Sure,” I laughed, picking up one of the disposable dishes. “Just tell me what you want.”

Tyler was visibly dying the entire time.

He was sweaty and wiggling in his chair beside her at the front table that they shared with their families. The poor man had been keeping it a secret for ages and was about to explode. Either way, he seemed happy. He kept laughing, maybe a little too loudly. I was really surprised no one had blabbed about it.

“Okay, so before we get to dessert... IT’S TIME!” Lauren’s mother sang into a microphone someone had brought. She stood in front of the crowd, holding her hat on her head with her other hand to keep it from blowing away.

Lauren despised every minute. Our friend didn’t have any desire to be in front of all these people. She wanted to be eating cake. But Tyler was beaming. He took the mic from the older woman.

“First, I want to say I love you, and I am so excited to be on this journey with you. I’m glad we’re going to get to share this. Thank you for everything you do, and I know you will be a wonderful mother,” he told her as he looked directly into her eyes as she stood beside him. Her hands were behind her back shyly, rocking on her heels a little.

Pouting her bottom lip, she grinned. She was attempting not to cry. “I love you, too,” Lauren breathed. “Thank you for trying to make this special.”

He lowered the microphone. “Gotta make up for eloping.” The crowd laughed. He looked at them, bringing it back to his mouth. “Here’s your big party.” It got louder. He chuckled too, rubbing a stray tear away from his cheek. “Okay, so here’s how this is going to work. One of these is the baby’s gender, and the other is a surprise.”

“Oh, so there’s a gift in there?” She beamed.

“Yup.”

“Oo…” She got a little excited. “Is it a puppy?” She peered at the crowd. “We’ve been talking about it for a while. I think it would be good to have them grow up together.”

He made a face as if he was pretending to think about it and then shrugged. “You are… surprisingly close. There’s not a live animal in there, at least, but it might be a picture of one. But you’ll see. Okay, so pick a box to open first.”

She stood behind them, thinking. Finally, she went with the right one, tapping it with her finger.

“Ready?” He looked at everyone then back at her. We were primed for her reaction. I never stopped snapping pictures. He lifted the lid off the large package, and pink balloons rose from it. One of them had an ultrasound with the word ‘girl’ on the bottom.

Lauren screamed and jumped with her fists in the air. “Yes! We’re having a girl! It’s a girl!” She then began to cry in earnest. She hopped into his arms, hugging him tightly. He was crying, too. He held her, kissing her deeply. Their families took turns embracing and kissing her, telling her how happy they were about it. Their daughter would be beautiful with lots of curly hair.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Tyler said with a little laugh as he rubbed his hand over his jaw to get the errant tears. There were so many that they were running down his neck. “Are you ready for your surprise?”

“Yes!” She giggled, holding her stomach as she rocked on her feet again. She was much more excited than she was before.

“Do you want to do this one?” He asked. She nodded excitedly, going to the box. Lauren was so sure she was about to get a new pet. She removed the lid and blue balloons lifted into the air right in front of her face. One of them had an ultrasound that said ‘boy’ on it.

No one did or said anything. Lauren’s mouth hung open in confusion. She slowly looked over at her husband. He just beamed, waiting for her to figure it out.

“It’s twins! Congratulations!” Edward called to her. She turned to look at him and the camera he was holding directly in front of her. He was right there, waiting for this exact moment.

She spun around to Tyler and punched him with all of her might in his arm. It actually made him stumble backward. “YOU’VE KEPT THIS FROM ME FOR WEEKS?!” She shrieked.

Jasper laughed under his breath and took a step forward with his camera. I started taking pictures again. My finger had slipped off the button as I gawked. This was going to be a funny video. They were definitely putting it on YouTube.

“Ow,” he whimpered, rubbing his arm.

“We… We’re not ready for two. We only ordered one of everything. How-How are we-” She began to panic. “Car seats and cribs and-”

“Actually,” Edward piped up. She twisted to look at him, wondering why the hell he was speaking at that moment. I was pondering that, too. “You have two. I bought duplicates of everything on your registry. It should arrive on Monday. Congrats.”

Everyone was perfectly still while they waited for her to react. Lauren brought both of her hands to her mouth. There was so much tension in the room. “Oh, Eddie. Thank you. You knew, too?” She breathed softly. He nodded. “For how long?”

“Uh, the beginning. I needed to talk to someone,” Tyler admitted with a sigh. “He’s the only guy friend I know who’s been around babies before.”

She looked at both men before finally hugging her husband. “We’re going to have twins,” she sniffled. “What the actual fuck, you son of a bitch? How could you keep that from me?” She whimpered in his chest so only he could really hear her. I only could because I was so close with my camera. Her fingers curled tightly into his shirt, holding onto him.

“Sorry,” he chuckled at her attitude. “Isn’t that cool, though?” She nodded a little.

“Yeah,” she whispered. Then she perked up. “Oh, god! That’s why I’m so fat!”

Laughing, he leaned his head back. “Yes. Yes, it’s obviously because it’s twins.” He nodded in agreement, gazing at her lovingly once more. “Are you ready for some dessert now?” She swatted him again.

When we had a moment, I pulled Edward into a kiss. Smiling, he brushed his fingers through my hair. “You’re an amazing friend.”

He shrugged bashfully. Jasper was right behind me. “Kiss him for me, please,” he whispered in my ear, leaning in so close that his lips were almost touching my skin. Nodding, I lifted on my toes to give our boyfriend a deeper one.

It took an hour for them to open all of their gifts, oohing and awing at everything. Most of it was neutral since no one knew. They would have plenty of stuff for both of them. These kids would be so loved by the best parents. I wasn’t sure how their little bungalow would handle all their new gear.

Seth was quietly filming the entire time. He stayed on his feet, moving around to get the best shots. He wasn’t talking too much.

“Are you okay?” I asked gently.

“Yeah,” he sighed. His eyes were unseeing as they stared ahead at the crowd. “Just surprised he didn’t come to me. I mean, I get it. Eddie is the baby master among us. I don’t know. So much is changing. It’s not even my shit, and it’s overwhelming.”

I touched his shoulder, making him look at me. “It’s because you care about your friend so much. It’s okay. You’ll be a great uncle, you know that?”

He made a face and laughed, shaking his head. “I’ll be a bad influence.”

“We all need one of those, right? Life would be boring otherwise.”

“Yeah,” he grinned slightly. “You’re right. We do.”

After the boys gave all of their footage to Seth, we left the party to go to our cabin we rented. The sun had just started to go down, and it wasn’t too late in the evening. We were planning on stopping at the grocery store on the way there to stock up on supplies. It had a full kitchen and a grill for us to enjoy. We wouldn’t talk to or see anyone else for as long as possible.

Edward rested his hand on my thigh, smiling. He was in a wonderful mood, not that I could blame him. So was I.

“You’re so pleased with yourself,” Jasper teased, rubbing his shoulders from the backseat. “That was sweet what you did for them.”

Shrugging, he tried to act as if it was nothing. “Aw, I only wanted to make sure they have everything they need. They don’t know it yet, but when the babies are born, I’m going to give them each fifty thousand for when they turn eighteen. Plus, give him and Seth a bonus because they both deserve it. I’ve already got it all in the works.”

I looked at Jasper, and he was gazing back, his eyes wide. “Darling, that’s a lot.”

“College is expensive. I was actually thinking about giving more, but I don’t know what the education system in America will look like then. That should be more than enough to get a car and get established as an adult, I think.”

“More than enough,” I agreed. “You’re very generous.”

“They’re my friends, and if I can take some of their parental worries away, I will. They’ll have a million details to stress about, but they’ll never have to worry about that.” He nodded his head decisively. “This is the best part of being rich,” he admitted, glancing over me for just a second. “My parents aren’t wildly generous people, but my grandparents are. And I always thought about all the things I could do, if only…” He trailed off. “And now I can.”

“I am so glad your act of rebellion is kindness.” Jasper touched his cheek from the backseat. He leaned his face into it without taking his eyes off the road.

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7/15/2020

Episode One-hundred-forty: Give it Away

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Episode One-hundred-forty: Give it Away

We spoke to Zafrina for four hours. Jasper cleared the table, did dishes, and then went into the office to edit while we chatted. I could tell he felt uncomfortable. Though there were a ton of offers to go through, Lay’s was the one we kept going back to. The money was too much, the company too big. But there were so many huge companies and weird products.

When we were finished, he led her to the entrance and gave her a hug before she left. When he shut the door, his smile faded instantly. The mask just fell away. His hand was still on the knob. “What did I do?”

I laughed despite myself. “You don’t want a bathroom break or something first?” I offered as I leaned against the island.

He licked his lips and glanced away as he flushed. Edward embarrassed himself with his outburst. “No. I can’t stop thinking about it. So it’s money. Yeah? Something to do with the accounts?” He shook his head in thought. “I haven’t even started making the investments. I’ve got a few things in the works, but-” He sighed. “What is it? I looked at it earlier, and it seemed fine. I spoke to the accountant this morning as a matter of fact.”

“Why did you give me the money from the old videos?”

“What?” He stared at me, confused. He honestly didn’t understand.

“You retroactively increased the amount and gave me a bunch of cash. That’s not what we agreed on. It was a ton in just one lump.”

“I told you I was going to increase it,” he replied, perplexed.

“Not on the old ones.”

He clicked his tongue. “Does it matter?”

I hated his attitude towards it. When we found a therapist, I would love to talk about his tone of voice. He sounded like his mother when he used it, though I would never say it to his face.

“Yes.”

Edward held up both hands as he walked into the living room. “Why?”

Staring at him in annoyance, I pushed my hair out of my eyes. Despite taking a shower after working out, I felt like I needed another. I was sweating a lot. “I don’t want your money. I want you for you. I will not exploit you.”

He didn’t like my answer. His mouth moved up and down with the words. I could see him chewing on them. “This is me at my most… me. What do you want? Huh? I don’t care about the cash. It’s not much at all. It’s only a small percentage. You’re going to get more once we switch them over to your channel.”

“I can’t keep it.” I tried to keep my bottom lip from quivering. I didn’t want to cry over it. It wouldn’t help anything and wasn’t rational.

His fist balled up at his side, and he tapped it on his thigh. He gazed at me and sighed. “I won’t take it back.”

“I know. I’m going to give it away.”

Edward laughed. “Great,” he encouraged, taking a few more steps forward. He ducked his head. “Give it all away. You’ll make triple that by the end of the year, anyway. More. So, why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not. I’m annoyed you don’t have any connection to reality when it comes to this subject and my feelings towards it.”

Scoffing, he raised his chin in the air. “I’m quite connected. How do you think I’ve made so much money, hm? Yeah, my parents aren’t poor, but I’ve worked for every cent I’ve got. There was never a point where they supported my career. I just wish to make us all rich. What’s so wrong with that?”

“I don’t want people to think I’m a gold digger,” I blurted out.

He sighed and rubbed his hand over his jaw. “You’re not. When have you cared what people think about this?”

“Not people. Your sisters.” I touched my chest with both my hands. “My siblings.”

“No,” he instantly replied. “No. I’ve spoken to them plenty about this topic.”

“And what do they think about you buying me a house?”

His face scrunched up. “I bought us a home, and put it in your name because it’s good for your credit and helps with your investments,” he explained seriously. “I’m building a strong portfolio for you. It’s a process. They know what kind of businessman I am. I have a plan.”

“I want to call bullshit so hard. It’s probably true, but it’s not why you did it.”

Staring off at the pool, he was only a couple of feet away from me. His mouth pushed to one side, then the other. “I did it because I love you, and I wanted to capture the feelings I had in that place. I wish to go back one day with both of you and feel that joy I did when I spent the afternoon with you in the ocean. My sisters know what kind of gift-giver I am. They know how overboard I am. Bells, they know I did that.”

“Even so.”

Edward sighed. “I really don’t see a problem.”

“And I knew you wouldn’t,” I admitted.

“Yeah! Because I have millions now. Really bloody millions. Why can’t I make my partners more secure financially if I can?”

“I know it doesn’t feel like it, but this is still a new relationship. Money can mess it up. The more, the more complicated.”

“When we’re married, it’ll be all yours, anyway. Why does this matter?”

I wanted to stomp my foot, but I didn’t. “Because we’re not yet, and we’re getting a prenup. I won’t marry you otherwise.”

“But will you stop complaining once we are?” I said nothing. “Mm, I didn’t think so. You are as much my business partner as you are my romantic one. I’m giving you money reflective of your role in our organization. I can’t pay you for all the little things you do behind the scenes. It’s not possible to list them all. The inspiration and ideas. Do you think you’re the only one that feels like they’re stealing?”

“I’ve done everything completely willing-” I argued right away, but he put his hand up to interrupt me.

“Exactly. Look, I know you’d do it for free. I get it. I do, but I also don’t give a shit.” Shocked, I stared at him. His tone was so calm and even. “Yeah, you heard me. I don’t. Nothing changes. You deserve every cent. I’ll pay my,” he used dramatic finger quotes to show he was sarcastic, “‘employees,’ whatever I see fit. This is my company, and I get to decide your salary if you think I’m the boss.”

“You are,” I agreed.

“Damn right,” he muttered, then sniffed. He hadn’t expected me to say that and was just going with his rant. “So, who are you going to give it all away to, hm?” He was all puffed up and acting bigger than he was actually feeling because he didn’t enjoy making me upset for any reason, even if he thought he was right.

“Jasper gave me the idea to give it to the reservation to redo the office.”

He brightened up. “Oh, that’s a wonderful idea. I’ll match whatever you give if you think he’ll accept it.” He didn’t skip a beat.

I gasped. “Edward-”

“What?” He interrupted again and closed the distance finally. “Why can’t I? They’re my family now, too. If they’re yours, they’re mine. Married or not.” I put my hands on his face and brought him down for a kiss, just for the sweetness of his words. He smiled against my mouth. “It’s okay,” he cooed as he put his palms on my waist. “Don’t be anxious. Everything is fine. The money won’t mess with our relationship if you don’t let it.”

“I’m still annoyed,” I whispered as I shut my eyes.

“I know, and I love you for it.” He kissed my forehead. His fingers curled into my hair as he held me to him.

“It’s not fair, and I don’t like it.”

“I know,” he repeated. Edward was smiling.

“Why would you want to do that with Lay’s?” I questioned, saying it in a petulant rush. “You’re the voice and face they want. Those will be national advertisements. I’m just doing YouTube.”

“You’re doing some of those, too. But people will eat your recipes. They’ll become kids’ favorite dishes. You’ll do more mental work than I will, that’s for sure. You’ve already probably started it in your head. If we do this, we do this as equal partners. But I think the salary should totally switch.”

Gripping his shirt tighter, I pulled away slightly to look at him. “I don’t need the extra money.”

“Fine,” he sighed dramatically and playfully. “Give it away then. Give it all to your family. Or Alice. I don’t care. If you don’t, I will.” I leaned my face against his chest, taking a deep breath. “I’ve already gotten my career where I want it. Let me help you.”

“Just giving it to me isn’t helping. I enjoy working.”

“I know. You do it all the time,” he teased. “You’re not my employee, nor would you ever be, but I can decide how I want to spread my funds around. If I want to give less than one percent of my assets to you, I can. And I will. And I’ll keep giving it to you until you feel stable.”

“That’s what she said,” I mumbled into his sternum. He laughed softly. “I’m pretty sure it won’t make me feel that way.”

“Yeah, I know,” he admitted with a sigh. Edward patted my ass gently. “But I don’t know what else to do. I can only show you I adore you in so many ways.” His embrace tightened to make a point. “I love doing them all, so I’ll never stop.”

For a long minute, I listened to his heartbeat. I finally looked up at him again. “It’s not a ‘you’ problem. It’s me.”

He kissed the top of my head. “I understand where it comes from, though.”

I pushed away from him. The words stung for some reason. “I wish you didn’t,” I sighed. “This is why I kept putting this off. I knew it wouldn’t get us anywhere.”

“Needing to express yourself isn’t-” he paused. He licked his lips as he gathered his thoughts. “I’ll admit I don’t understand why it bothers you so much, but I do respect that it does. Trust me when I say I’ve been restraining myself. We both know I could do more. I could easily put more money in there, but I’m not. I’m keeping it to places where you did work because I value your feelings on that. But it doesn’t feel right to have all this and for you not to have a security blanket.”

“I’m going to keep fifty thousand.”

Edward’s face wrinkled again in disgust at the number. “Which is a year-”

“It’s a couple which would give me enough time to get on my feet from anything. Maybe more, depending on where I lived.”

He shook his head. “I want to make sure you’re secure for the rest of your life. That’s my goal.”

I scratched my cheek, my lips twitching. He was too sweet. “It’s not your job.”

“No. It’s not. It’s my greatest dream and wish. I want to make sure that my loves, both of them, are taken care of even if something happens to me because I can’t live in a world where I can do that but don’t. I’m not that kind of man. Bella, I have to take care of you.” He reached out for me.

“You are so good at it,” I promised right away. He held my waist in his hands. They almost touched. His fingers were so long, and I was thin. Edward made me feel tiny when he did this, in more ways than one.

He kissed me for a long moment. “You should see what I can do if you let me. I can make you a star in your own right, and you won’t have to think about bills ever again. Just don’t look at your account anymore and trust me,” he whispered the words seductively.

“That sounds dangerous.”

“Trusting me?” He smirked. I shook my head. “I’ll always make sure the cash is there if you want it or need it, but you know that.”

Huffing, I relaxed against him. I felt defeated. My cheek squished against his chest as I closed my eyes. “What a weird problem to have.”

Edward waffled his head from side to side. “Ah, well, not really. I think a lot of people struggle with feeling deserving. Self-esteem is scarce all around.” I peered up at him slowly. “That’s what it really is.”

“Maybe,” I mumbled. “Dr. Cullen. When’s our next session?”

“Ah, we can have another whenever you want.”

Jasper came quietly out of the office, padding towards the kitchen. We both looked at him from our embrace. “So… um, how’s it going?”

“Have fun listening?” Edward asked him sarcastically and a bit too loudly. “You could have warned me.” I poked his ribs. “Not everything! Just a polite heads up, ‘Yo, asshole, you fucked up. Start sucking up now’. That’s all,” he defended himself swiftly.

“You already suck up constantly,” he sassed in return. “And you knew, but you shrugged it off. That’s your own damn fault.”

He groaned softly. “Yeah, you kind of have a point.”

“Also, I’m not fucking up my brand-new relationships by choosing sides.”

Edward sulked but knew he was right. “Yes, but I know you agree with her.” Our boyfriend shrugged, putting both hands up, then blew a small raspberry. “Just let me take care of you,” he comically whined.

“We need to get him a puppy,” Jasper declared as he gazed at me. He finally moved into the kitchen to throw away his empty bottle into the recycling.

“Or a baby.”

“But my figure,” he said as he put his hand on his hard stomach. He went to the fridge and got a beer. “I’m not ready to be pregnant, and I know you’re not having it. Yet.” I laughed, going to hug him. He kissed my forehead. “You know it’s because his sisters have been training him up for years with his nieces, and now he has no one to take it out on twenty-four seven. He’s got enough affection to give a gaggle of demanding little girls, and now we’re his only focus.”

He was incredible at hitting the nail on the head. I liked how blunt and to the point he was. It was probably one reason our man was attracted to him, too.

“I-” Edward opened his mouth, then looked off. He blinked several times. “Oh.”

I pushed my lips together to keep from snickering. “I know what you’re going to talk about to your therapist next,” I mumbled as I peeked at him from Jasper’s arms. I held my hand out to him, and he came immediately.

He was blushing but smiling. “Maybe a little.”

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7/13/2020

Episode One-hundred-thirty-nine: Producer

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Episode One-hundred-thirty-nine: Producer

After dinner, Edward and I worked on planning our trip for the weekend. I needed it like oxygen. I knew whatever heated discussion we had the following day wouldn’t ruin it. We would both need to de-stress, probably for different reasons.

He had a quick early online meeting in the morning before we saw Zafrina, so Jasper was helping me cook for her. She enjoyed spicy food like me, so I was making it extra for her. I was whipping up breakfast enchiladas with chorizo and eggs in a cheesy nacho sauce. Everything was from scratch, including the tortillas.

“I can smell the spice from here!” Our boyfriend yelled from the office when he was done. “What are you cooking?”

“Tex-Mex,” I explained as I continued to chop. There were things on the stove, the sausage, and fresh corn tortillas on the griddle. In front of me was the blender. I was keeping myself busy.

“Yes,” he chuckled as he came into the living room. “Lovely.” He was in a nice shirt while barefoot in jeans. He blew out a long breath with his hands on his hips. “Mate, pass me an antacid?” He called to Jasper. He went to get it wordlessly, grabbing a bottle of water before he met him halfway. Edward pulled him in for a kiss before he took it, his hand on his waist.

Wrapping his arms around his neck, our man gazed up at him lovingly. He was a few inches taller, forcing his chin back slightly. Edward’s palm slid down to his ass and gripped it tightly, the bottle in the other. They both looked as if they were ready to jump the other at any moment.

Smiling, I sighed as I cut up chilies for salsa. I placed them into the mixer with the onions, tomatoes, and garlic. “Watching you two make out while I cook is becoming my favorite pastime,” I smirked as I squeezed in lime juice before dumping in the rest of the seasoning. “Do you think I can put it in my diary for my relaxation?”

“Hey, if it makes you happy, and you don’t care if your therapist knows,” Jasper chuckled as he leaned into him. He laid his head on his chest and closed his eyes.

“He already does,” I admitted, turning on the blender for a few seconds. It didn’t take long. “I’m not ashamed of being polyamorous. I’ve always been open about it if it comes up in conversation. It’s not like I tell everyone. But it’s kind of important that he knows.”

“We still need to figure out therapy for us,” Edward said as he gripped our boyfriend tighter. He loved their closeness and didn’t want to let go. His chin rested on the top of his head. “It’s probably not terrible if we all go to one together. We all need one. This is complicated, and there are a lot of things we need to figure out.”

“Mm… like what?” Jasper kissed his jaw. It was light and gentle. He was in a good mood, relaxed. The evening before had been tranquil. Besides trip planning, they quietly edited until we went to bed early. Despite the nap, we were exhausted from our late night with Sarah.

Our boyfriend made a face as he considered what he wanted to say. His fingers curled around his shirt at the small of his back. “Our roles. I want us to feel like equal partners, but I don’t think you feel like that, and I don’t know how to prove it to you. She’s my girlfriend, yes, but Bella is yours too. And you’re mine, just as much as you are hers. I love and want that. I feel joy when I know you’re together. And I don’t want you to think you need permission to do anything together. You’re both adults in a relationship, and you should decide what’s best for it, separate from ours. And we should do the same. Because sometimes it won’t always be identical. We’ll need different things to make them grow and mature.”

Smiling slightly, he shook his head as he rolled his eyes. “I agree. But we shouldn’t pretend there isn’t a hierarchy,” he countered as he peeked up at him.

“There’s not,” he spouted right away.

“There is,” I replied as I washed my hands. Next, I began rolling the enchiladas to put them in the oven. “Even if we don’t want there to be. Even if we didn’t put it in place on purpose. Because we’ve been together longer, and our relationship started from different points.”

“Because you’re also engaged,” Jasper added with a little smirk.

“No, we’re not,” I blurted out, and I saw the sadness in Edward’s eyes. I hated it. “We’re engaged to be engaged. Pre-fiance. It’s different. I like that and want to be different. Please don’t call it that. I’m not ready.”

“Still above boyfriend,” he mumbled before he licked his lips. “It’s fine. I understand I’m the lowest man on the totem pole. I’m good with that spot.”

“You realize that the lowest is supposed to be the strongest, holding the rest of the village up?” I asked as I walked towards them once I was done, putting the dish in the oven. “You’re newest to the group relationship, yes. But you two have the longest affiliation. You know things about each other I’ll never know or understand. In that sense, I’m the newest.”

“Yeah, but that leaves us with a common denominator. He’s at the top.” He bowed his head toward our shared boyfriend. I nodded in agreement.

Automatically snorting, Edward’s cheeks flushed. “Oh, I’m pretty sure I’m a bottom. Or maybe a middle? Is that a thing? I like everything. Play with me?”

Rolling his eyes, he pushed away from him. Turning, Jasper gazed at me. “He makes jokes because he’s uncomfortable. One of those things I’ve learned from our many years together. Don’t worry. I’ll share this info as it comes.”

He pressed his lips together, not enjoying being teased. “I’m not. I’m… nervous.”

“Why?” I asked as I leaned against Jasper. He wrapped both of his arms around me and patted my ass.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.” I shook my head. He was too sensitive to do that, especially on purpose. “Yes, I could hurt both of you, and I don’t want to do that. I just want everyone to be happy.”

Resting his chin against the top of my skull, he sighed. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’m concerned about overstepping my bounds.”

“There are none for me, though,” he said quickly.

His eyes rolled hard again as his grip tightened. “There will be, even if you don’t see them yet. And what about hers? Hm?” Edward sulked, not answering. “Also, jealousy is a genuine issue.”

His mouth got wide before the word even finished coming out. “I love seeing you together so much. I don’t feel jealous at all. And I know how much she enjoys watching us. She brought us together. I don’t think Bella has an envious bone in her body.”

He grinned, then glanced at him for only a moment. “I do,” Jasper breathed. “As much as I don’t want to. I feel it.”

I put my hand on his heart to get his attention. He peered back at me. “You can have as much time as you two need together,” I promised as I gazed at him with a pout. “I want what’s best for your relationship.”

Jasper smiled slowly. “Who said I’m not jealous over you?” He asked as he stared into my eyes, holding my chin. His expression became impish. “I had the dope to myself for a decade, but I’ve just met you, and he gets to kiss you as much as he wishes and whenever he wants. He gets to brag. People aren’t surprised when I gush over him like a little girl. They’re used to it. He’s my best mate. But... How am I supposed to keep it in? How into you I am? Do you know how hard it was not to kiss you all day while in the kitchen with the guys? Sure, I love him.” He glanced at Edward and beamed. “And I am a bit the other way round too, but not as much.”

“Why?” I inquired gently.

His rounded cheeks were a little pink. “You saw me that first day and went, ‘aw, we can share,’” he laughed. “You automatically opened your heart. No questions asked and so fearless. And because of that, I’ve never felt more connected to someone so quickly. I want to explore it to its full potential because it feels like something.”

“I can be because my relationship with him is secure. I know his feelings for me won’t change because he has them for you.” My fingers curled into his shirt.

“Yes, exactly. Same. But you and I are totally new. We’ve talked for a couple of months, but we’ve only been together in the same country for like five weeks. Our relationship is solid.” He looked at Edward and held out his hand. He touched it and brought it to his lips to kiss. “But, we need to build ours.” He caressed my cheek with his palm.

“You’re making me feel guilty about not going on the date yesterday,” I breathed.

He rested his forehead on mine. “No,” he laughed. “Are you kidding? I love napping so much. That was prime relationship-building right there. I’ve napped with him so many times. And you were stressed out. It’s fine.”

“Why were you?” Edward questioned as he touched my back.

Biting my lip, I gazed at him for a moment. “Um… it’s something we need to talk about today. In private.”

“Ah, so… I’m in trouble. Why?” He looked at me, then our boyfriend. He said it jokingly, and then he tilted his head to the side. “Do you know what I did?” Jasper nodded and shrugged only a little, barely moving his shoulders. “And you won’t tell me?”

He stared for a second, holding out his hand. “Oh, like you don’t know, you dumb pushy oaf.” Our man curled his arm around my waist and put his chin on the top of my head as he embraced me protectively. He rocked me for a moment. It was playful.

Edward stared out at the pool and frowned as he thought. “So, it’s something you agree with her about. It’s a money thing. What did I do?” The blond pulled back to look at me, pursing his lips. We said nothing as we both glared at him. “Jeez, I don’t like that. That’s kind of scary.” There was a knock at the door. “Oh, come on! Everything I do is out of love.”

“Which is why I didn’t pop off at you on the set,” I countered as I went into the kitchen to check on our brunch. “When I was first annoyed.”

“Dammit,” he mumbled under his breath but quickly forced a smile when he opened it. “Good timing.”

Zafrina was wearing a comfortable business suit with a busy, brightly colored blouse. She came in with a rolling suitcase of files. He took it from her grip right away, always the gentleman. “Who’s ready to make money?” She said enthusiastically, rubbing her hands together. Her nails were blood-red and sharp-tipped.

“Always, my dear. Always,” Edward remarked with a big sweeping hand gesture. He forced a perky grin. “Bella’s making you something extra spicy.”

“My favorite!” She cheered and then laughed. “Hello, Jasper.” She shook his hand. “It’s so good to see you again. I know Eddie is excited to have you join him, as am I. The more friends he has, the better his content.” He said nothing but smiled anxiously.

“Agreed,” he murmured as he went to the table. “So, straight away, I’m too antsy not to ask… What’s the most interesting? Just tell me now.”

Tilting her head to the side as she sat, she pretended to think. She definitely had something on her mind. “Mmmmm… Lay’s would like to expand your contract. They loved your Super Bowl commercials. And they want to do an entire series with you doing voice-overs, with you and her, and they want you to do several sponsored cooking videos with the chips. They’re offering you seven hundred fifty and Bella one hundred thousand for her part.”

My knees buckled, and Jasper rushed up from behind me to keep me from going to the floor. I don’t think anyone but him noticed. Thank goodness the food was already on the stove. I leaned against the counter with the mitts still on my hands.

“You can’t be serious?”

“Mmhmm,” she nodded. “It would be, by far, the longest contract. And it would be exclusive. It will be over the next year. Kroger would be my second most intriguing, but it’s a lot less. They’re interested in sponsoring a cookbook, though.”

My boyfriend sniffed almost dramatically. This was the businessman coming out. “I think it might be better to print that on our own. Do we need to find a publisher, or can we self-publish? That would be the most money.”

“Could we do that on our own?” I questioned.

“Definitely,” Zafrina answered with extreme confidence.

He tapped his chin in thought. “Jasper could design the book if Bella does the recipes and the pictures. Neither of which is a problem. They both have a beautiful eye.”

“Do you think he can do that?” Our agent asked, looking at our boyfriend. He finally let me go when he was sure I wouldn’t bounce to the ground. He almost forgot that his hands were on my ribs.

“Without a doubt,” Edward swore with a smirk. “Bella’s pretty good at bookmaking herself. She’s made us several that I love.”

“I think that’s what we should do, too,” she agreed right away. “We’ll see how everything goes with the channel launch next week and start moving from there. We should know by the end of the month whether we should move forward getting a cookbook in stores for the Christmas season. How many cooking videos have you already done?”

“Close to a hundred. We’d also want to include exclusive recipes.”

“Agreed. How many people do you think will join her channel from your subscribers?” She inquired next. She was doing some mental math that I didn’t understand. I brought the platter of food to the table.

“At least five million. Maybe more. She’ll get her own following, though. I doubt it’ll take more than a month, especially once I move the videos over from mine to hers. She’ll get a ton of traffic that way. Also, the ones we’ll put up with Ms. Jones will get plenty of attention.”

She grinned excitedly. “How did that go?”

I finally finished bringing everything to the table. Edward put his hand on my back, smiling at me. It was genuine. “They were amazing together. And she wants to do more. She wants to do drag.”

“Oh!” She clapped her hands as her face instantly lit up. “My brother is a drag queen. I can help you with that. He runs a show downtown. How far would you want to go? The full getup?” He stared at her. “You’re right. That is a ludicrous question. Would you do nails, heels, and wigs?” He just comically continued to stare. “Oh, my god. Yes, I realize. Stupid questions. How do you feel about it, Bella?”

I smirked a little. “Do I get to be a drag king?”

Zafrina pointed at me. “They can do that.”

“That hot,” Edward mumbled under his breath, blushing as he grinned at me. “You know I like you in suits. That one especially.”

“I’ll wear it to our wedding,” I joked. He beamed, nodding his head so hard that it made his hair bounce. I snorted and quickly shook my head. “I’m going to wear a dress, at least.”

“I don’t care what you wear,” he flirted. He was trying to suck up and soften my annoyance.

“Oh, in that case, I’ll wear the one you got me from Target,” I sassed back as I made everyone’s plate. “My old seven dollar dress and my new two thousand dollar shoes. I need something borrowed and blue now,” I continued dryly.

Our agent paused, her hands holding the tabletop. “Please tell me you’re getting married,” Zafrina commented hopefully. She leaned in and lowered her voice. “That would make us so much money.”

Edward and I looked at each other and made our eyes larger. He cleared his throat. “No. Just joking. Sorry,” he breathed. “How would that make us money?” He leaned in as well to ask her.

She waved her hand. “We’ve gotten offers to televise your wedding-”

“When hell freezes over. No,” he said right away. She pouted and slouched into her seat. “I don’t care about paychecks now. I’ll continue to make Disney happy until I get all their cash, then I will do whatever the hell I wish. Weird indie shit and cartoons and fucking YouTube. And what I want is to never do bullshit like that,” he ranted.

“Fine. I don’t understand why you’re so secretive. You’re boring,” she continued to mope. She put her napkin in her lap.

“Exactly. And if people know I’m boring, I’ll be less mysterious,” he joked. He took a bite of his food. He stopped and looked at me. His pale face turned red as his eyes widened. “Jesus, Mother of God,” he wheezed. Hastily, he reached for the cup of coffee. “You’re actually punishing me, aren’t you?”

“I like it,” Jasper stated with a smile, taking a big bite. “I’d prefer it a touch milder, but I like the heat.” He held his gaze. Edward pushed his lips out in a pout, looking away for a moment.

Zafrina had scooped extra helpings of the spicy salsa and splattered some pepper sauce onto her entire platter. It was a mess, and she was destroying it. I smiled at my boyfriends.

“You can choose not to eat it,” I replied once I hid my grin. “You knew it was hot.”

He huffed. “I didn’t say it wasn’t good. That’s part of the punishment.”

“So, what you’re telling me is that you enjoy being hurt?” Our agent teased after taking a big bite. Smirking, I played with my food. I swirled a loose bit of tortilla in the spicy nacho sauce. “Ugh, another dumb question. I know the answer to that, too. Anyway, if you do the Lay’s, there might be some crossovers depending on how it goes. They own Pepsi, Nestle, and a bunch of others.”

“Disney owns Coke. Is that a complication?” Edward said, scooping some sour cream from the bowl.

“No. Shouldn’t be,” she answered with a dismissive wave of her long fingers. “It happens. It’s not an issue unless you shill for Pepsi and Coke at the same time. We’ll work that out if there is a problem down the line.”

He licked his lips and thought for a moment. “What’s best for Bella’s career? That’s my primary concern with this. She’s worried about it, and I want her to feel secure.”

“Lay’s.”

“I’ll be making a lot more than her. Do you think there was a way to lower my salary to give her an equal amount?”

“Edward,” I breathed his name in surprise.

“Why not just give it to her?” She shrugged. “Why get them involved?”

He frowned. “She gets cranky when I do that,” he glanced at me as he spoke. I returned a glare. “You do. It would be better if they looked at us as equal partners, anyway.”

“That’s not how that works.” I rolled my eyes. “Lay’s wants you because of the commercials.”

“That doesn’t mean they’re not excited about you,” Zafrina declared, putting her hand on my arm. “They want you to make ten videos and five commercials together. That’s a big contract for a first-timer.”

“How many voice-overs do they want me to do?”

“Ten. A day’s worth of work. How long would it take you to make that many videos?” Shrugging, he didn’t have a real good answer.

“Do they have recipes they want us to use, or do they want Bella to come up with them?” Jasper questioned. Edward pointed at him since he had a mouthful of food.

“They want her to come up with them. Ten recipes with different chips. They’ll give you the entire line to experiment with, too. And they’re giving you months to do it. November is the deadline. How hard do you think that would be?”

I bit my lip. “Um, well, that depends. I’ll try to come up with as many as possible, and maybe they can pick the best. Does that work?”

“We’re going to eat so many chips,” Eddie smiled at me.

“Please don’t gain too much weight,” Zafrina sighed. “You want to look good for Dangerous Liaisons.”

He looked directly at her and took a huge bite. Jasper poured him more coffee without being asked, smirking to himself. He quickly took a sip of the black drink, making a face. Our agent laughed.

“How long would it take to film that many commercials?” I inquired, still thinking about the work. It was a lot to consider.

“Two days?” Edward shrugged again, shaking his head. “Not long. Simple work. Your part will be harder, which is why I think you should get higher pay. It’s not like I’ll do anything other than snack on them. So… remember the other day at the neon museum when you didn’t think you were a producer? Well… They think you are.”

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7/6/2020

Episode One-hundred-thirty-eight: Guilty

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Episode One-Hundred-Thirty-Eight: Guilty

Sarah stayed in the guest bedroom that night, sleeping off her liquor and weed. She had nothing to do that morning, only a photoshoot in the afternoon. She borrowed one of Edward’s shirts to sleep in. It felt like an old-fashioned sleepover.

Edward had a thing with Disney during the day, so he woke up early, worked out, and showered while I got up to make everyone breakfast. Jasper offered to help. He was handy in the kitchen, despite being so distracting in his low hanging pajama pants. Our new friend was still asleep, and we wouldn’t bother her yet.

Standing behind me as I made the scones, he kissed my neck and rubbed my back when he ran out of things to do. I was elbows deep in the dough and could do nothing but enjoy the attention. It was slow, gentle, and incredibly relaxing. I closed my eyes as I leaned against him. All the tension left my body. His big hand slid across my stomach as he pecked along my jaw.

“Would you like to go out today? I’ve got to work on editing this morning, but Tony will be gone all day. We could have lunch and do something in the afternoon,” he spoke in my ear, soft and sweet. He nudged the lobe with his nose, his lips brushing my cheek. I turned my face to kiss him, his hand coming to my chin to hold it for as long as he could. He smiled against my mouth. “Is that a yes?”

“Absolutely,” I breathed. “Are you going to take me on a date?” I teased with a grin as I bumped my ass back against him. He was enjoying the kissing, too. Nodding, his fingers slid across my neck. “Where are you going to take me?”

He pecked my lips as his thumb moved over my jaw. “Aquarium? Make use of our memberships?” I smiled brightly. “Yeah, I like that idea, too.” He kissed me again, rubbing his nose against mine. I closed my eyes, savoring the contact. His hands were so delicious, his fingers curling against my stomach.

“Aw, you’re so cute together,” Sarah giggled as she came in. I couldn’t help but beam at her.

“Coffee, lovely?” Jasper questioned as he pushed away from me. She slowly nodded in answer as she walked to the island. She looked so sleepy, yawning widely.

I put the scones in the oven, placing the clotted cream, butter, jams, and jellies on the table outside after. She sat drowsily with her drink, her feet pulled up under the big baggy shirt. Sarah lifted her face to the sky, letting the sun soak in.

“This makes me wish I had roommates,” she mumbled as she glanced up at us. “This is delightful.”

Chuckling, he placed the sugar on the tabletop. “Yeah, but they rarely spoil you like this.” He sat down beside her. I was still fussing with the table. Playfully, I winked at him.

“That’s true,” she snorted, then shook her head. Huffing, she looked up towards the clouds with a deep pout. “Ugh, is it terrible that I was kind of hoping Eddie was stepping out so I could have a chance?” I stopped to look at her. “I would have given you time to heal,” she joked as she reached her hand out to me. “And when you were ready to move on, I’d be there waiting with open arms.”

I scoffed, shaking my head as I rolled my eyes.

“You’d have to pry her from my cold dead fingers,” Edward quipped as he came outside, wearing a slick suit. It was gray with a clean white button-down. He was yummy. Both of my men looked so good. “Even then, I doubt I’d give up without a fight.” Our boyfriend quickly poured him coffee, touching his arm to get his attention. He took it with a smile, leaning over to give him a quick peck. We all enjoyed being able to be ourselves around her. “I would never cheat on my partners.”

“Yeah, he felt guilty for dreaming about it.” I went back towards the kitchen as the timer dinged. Before I could go, he pulled me to him to give me a kiss. I giggled against his mouth, holding onto the lapels of his blazer. We all looked so sloppy next to him.

“Thank you for breakfast,” he whispered against my mouth. His knuckle dragged against my cheek. “Pretty girl.”

We couldn’t sit for a long time like we had done the night before. Sarah’s manager was bugging her, texting about her work that evening. She rushed through her food to get dressed. It was obvious she didn’t want to.

“Do you need me to leave the car?” Edward questioned when he stood. He stretched his back and popped it, leaning his head from side to side to do the same to his neck. “I can get a taxi.”

Our boyfriend nodded quickly, wiping his mouth with his napkin. “Mm, if you don’t mind. I’m going to take Bella out while you’re at work. If that’s okay,” Jasper added promptly.

Edward stopped mid-sip of his coffee. It was the last of it, and he was hurrying to finish it before he left. He looked at him curiously. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Flushing a little, he stared out at the mountains for a second then cleared his throat. “Because this is going to take some getting used to, and I don’t want to upset you.”

He reached for his hand. “Darling, you’re a couple as much as she and I are, or you and I are. We’ve talked about this. You don’t have to ask my permission for anything.”

“I know. It just came out,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “And it’s better to be careful.”

He brought his fist up to his mouth to kiss. His lips rested against his knuckles as he gazed into his eyes. “Go out and have fun. I want you to.” He pulled out his keys and passed them to him. “I’ll take an Uber. It’ll be fine.”

“Where are you headed? Maybe I can take you,” Sarah offered as she came back outside, fully dressed with her purse. She had her keys in her hand.

Contemplating, he mentally deliberated her offer. “Not too far from here. It’s about a ten-minute drive.”

“Oh, I got you then!” She promised before hurrying to me. Her bag rattled with key chains and pens as she rushed. She quickly brought me into a hug. “Thank you for such a great day. I had so much fun yesterday. I’ll text you when I get back into town, and we’ll go out with Lauren.” She kissed my cheek. “Have a wonderful time on your date!”

“Thank you! Good luck with your movie. I’ll text you when we’re in New York, maybe you’ll be able to meet up.”

Her eyes got wider with excitement. “Yes! Oh, and try to set me up with your friend!” She said with a grin. “Please.” I nodded wildly. “Thanks! Alright, Eddie, are you ready?”

“Yeah,” he grinned, giving us each a kiss and whispering his love in our ears after.

Jasper stretched his arms above his head. He was still shirtless. “I’ll do the dishes real quick, and then I need to edit for a few hours. We’ll want one of her episodes for the first day of the channel launch, I’m sure.”

“Okay,” I quietly remarked. “I have something I need to work on before tomorrow, anyway.” He raised an eyebrow. “I’m finally going to look at my account information. It’s probably something I need to get over before he gets home.”

He played with his mustache for a moment, twisting it. “Are you going to talk to him about it tonight?”

I shook my head. “We’re going to work on planning this weekend, and I don’t want anything to get in the way of that. I am after Zafrina tomorrow. I’m a little worried about getting overwhelmed, which has been why I’ve been so hesitant, and I need time to process my emotions.”

“It won’t hurt your relationship,” he swore as he took my hand that rested on the table. “I’ve fought with him over money for years.”

“That’s less reassuring than you think it is.”

He snorted. “Yeah. I’m sorry. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

I went to get my computer and set myself up in the bedroom to look at the information. I stared at the email for a minute before I finally clicked on it. It started with a message I skimmed, along with a bunch of links. It was pretty standard.

Clicking on the first of them, it brought up a breakdown of each deposit. Another link was how much money I made per video and when I got the cash from them. I got a shitload from the older ones all at once. Thousands of dollars, all in a very short amount of time.

Edward retroactively upped the percentage of all the videos I was in to ten percent, more than doubling the amount before.

I hated it. Especially the oldest. All I did was show up and had fun, specifically back then. And I was getting paid to take the pictures. I did more work now, so it made sense if the newer ones received more. I would understand getting more on the cooking videos. But those were different. The wings, the tattoo, the haunted zoo were all just flirting. They were dates, and I didn’t wish to profit from our relationship like that.

And I knew whatever I said, Edward would never see it that way. He didn’t care about money. Easter had proven that. He had spent hundreds of thousands on a whim to please me. I didn’t want to be his charity case. But he would never, ever, take it back. It was a drop in the bucket of our future.

I had made another ten thousand since the last time I checked, too. Part of it was my website, though. From what I could tell, he hadn’t even started working on the investments I knew he wanted to do. He had been too busy. We all were.

Closing my computer, I laid back on the bed. My head hurt, and it felt like my blood pressure was skyrocketing. I was so exhausted.

I was dozing off when I got a phone call. It was a Washington number I didn’t recognize. I answered it instantly. “Hello?”

“Isabella?” A man questioned gruffly. It was rough and older. I didn’t know it right away. “This is your grandfather, Ephraim.”

Gasping, I sat up quickly. “Grandpa!” I pushed my hair out of my face. “Oh, wow. Hi! How are you?”

“I’m well, thank you. I just wanted to call and let you know that I’m very excited about your visit.”

My eyes automatically stung as my bottom lip quivered. “Me too! I can’t wait to take pictures of Vanessa and Jake. It’ll be amazing to be an aunt.”

“That’s very kind of you. I know they appreciate that. They’re thrilled about the baby. It’s my first great-grandchild, too. I never thought I’d get to see that. I wish your grandmother and father could be here for this, too.” He paused for a moment before clearing his throat roughly and sniffling. “Anyway, I wanted to ask if you’d like to have dinner at the lodge with the entire family that Sunday? I want to give you something, and I want everyone to be there.”

“Oh, I’d love to! Actually… I have something I wanted to give you, too.” I thought about the money. Jasper was right. I could give it to them, and they could make improvements that would better things for future generations of my family. Perhaps it was enough to replace the office. I certainly hoped so. I couldn’t change my past, but maybe I could improve someone else’s prospects.

“Aw, you don’t have to get me anything. You owe us nothing. We should have found-” he stopped himself. “We have so much time to make up for now. That’s all I want, to make up for that lost time.”

“Me too,” I breathed. I pushed my lips together to keep in the sound that was trying to escape my mouth.

He cleared his throat again. “I need to head back to work. We’ll see you soon?”

“Yes, sir,” I promised. It was high-pitched and squeaky.

“I love you.”

My breath caught in my throat, but I kept my voice even. “I love you, too,” I whispered. We hung up after that. I began to cry, my hands going to my eyes. The tears just came, free-flowing and heavy. Doubling over, my face was on my knees.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jasper said as he rushed into the room. “Why? What’s wrong? Is it the money?” I shook my head, then shrugged. Maybe it was part of it. Everything was so intense in my brain.

“My grandpa called,” I forced out. It didn’t explain much.

He wrapped me in his arms, kissing my temple. Slowly, he nodded. “Is everything okay there?” I nodded in answer. “Okay. What’s wrong, dove?” Shaking my head again, I was unable to get the words out even if I wanted to. “Tell me so I can help.”

“I just feel… guilty. About so many things,” I stuttered.

Gingerly, Jasper pushed my hair behind my ear. “Like what?”

Closing my eyes, I leaned into him. I couldn’t look at him, my face hot and uncomfortable. “Um… I should have looked harder for my family and-”

He pulled my chin up. “What did you have to go on?”

My eyes stayed sealed. “I could have done the DNA thing sooner. Jake did every company that did it, just to look for me. Maybe I could have found him before my dad died.” My tears rolled down my cheeks.

“No. You can’t go back and fix the past. You’re going to be an active member of the family now. That’s what matters. You can’t- You can’t linger on the past. It’ll kill your soul. Trust me, I know. You’ve got to live in this moment and appreciate it for what it is, which is good. Sure, things can always be better, but we can only work on improving the future.” He lifted my chin higher.

My lips were still trembling as I tried to calm myself down. “I feel like I don’t do enough to deserve all of this love and attention. I feel like I’m just soaking it up and not giving anything back.”

Jasper shook his head before leaning his forehead against mine. “That’s the trauma talking.” He put his palm on my cheek. “You spoil us, and you’ll never feel like it’s enough. But it is, and we adore you for it.” He pulled me fully to his chest, so I was on his lap. “You are safe. You are loved. And you are enough. The things you do are enough.”

He let me cry myself out, holding and rocking me until I settled. Then we laid there for at least another thirty minutes in silence. “Ugh, I’m sorry,” I finally whined. “I’m so tired. I feel like I could lie down and nap for a week.”

He moved the laptop onto the bedside table and pulled the covers over us. “Okay. Sounds marvelous.”

“But the aquarium,” I complained.

“It’ll be there later.”

“I want to go out with you, though. We haven’t been on a date before.”

Nodding, he puckered his lips slightly. “Well, I want to go out with my girlfriend too, but she’s emotional right now, and I don’t think she’d have a very good time. She would be distracted and probably not in the mood. So, what we’re going to do instead,” he kissed my forehead, “is lay down until she gets hungry or bored, and then we’ll do whatever makes her feel better.” He pecked my brow several times.

“You’re a wonderful boyfriend,” I murmured into his bare chest.

“I try. That’s all we can do. Now, relax. Let’s snuggle.” Gently, Jasper patted my butt until I dozed off in his grip. Only a soothing tap. It wasn’t sexual in any way.

My dreams were disconnected and dark, just out of my reach. I forgot them as soon as I had them.

When I woke up, he was still asleep. I smiled when I saw his peaceful expression. He could use a shave. Neither of us had showered, and it showed. Lightly, I kissed his cheeks. Grinning, he brought his hand up to the back of my head. He turned his face towards me and returned my affection. “Hi.”

“Hey there. How are you feeling?” He questioned as he stroked my hair. His mustache tickled my skin.

“Better,” I grinned slightly, pecking his nose. “How are you?”

“Hungry,” he admitted as he stretched. When he did, his muscle flexed pleasantly. I loved watching his body.

Slowly, I lifted to look at the time. It was nearly four. “Oh, Jesus. It’s late.”

“Mm…” he yawned, rubbing his cheek. Jasper peered over at the clock. He smirked slightly. “Yeah, that was nice.” He reached for me, pulling back into his grip. He pushed his face into my hair, keeping it there for a still moment. “Want to smoke a little and order something for dinner?” He looked at his watch. “I don’t think I want Chinese again. I’ve had plenty.” He pecked my scalp. “I wonder when Tony is getting off.”

As if on cue, our phones beeped at the same time. We both smiled.

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Thanks to Gina for Proofreading!

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