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​Life has not always been good to Bella Swan. Born mixed race in the deep south, orphaned as a child, and made a widow at a young age, she uses her photography not only as a way to make money but as a way to grow and heal after serious trauma. Luckily she has wonderful friends by her side to help her, too. She’s not unhappy, but she’s barely scraping by. 

Everything changes though when she’s offered a job taking pictures of up and coming Australian actor, Edward Cullen, for a full week. 

Eddie seems almost picture perfect. Kind, handsome, intelligent, rich. But, we are always more than what we appear in a snapshot.

A Sexy Serial Soap opera

Rated M for Mature, intended for an adult audience. Reader Discretion is advised.






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11/22/2019

Episode One-hundred-nine: Roles

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Episode One-hundred-nine:


Warning: this episode contains graphic sexual descriptions. Reader discretion is advised. Intended for a mature audience only. (18+)


“Fuck yes.” Edward stood from the table quickly and took my hand. I giggled at his eagerness. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course,” I replied instantly. 

He looked a little shy. “I’d like a Sunday like that as well.”

“Me in charge?” He nodded slowly, looking down at his feet for a moment. “I can do that. I think that I’d want to have my Sunday out of town, though. If that’s possible.”

Edward instantly looked excited about the very idea, his face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Out of town. Really?”

“Mm-hmm,” I hummed as I led him to the bedroom. “Actually, the house in Sydney would be great for that. Maybe when we go back, we can roleplay some of my wilder fantasies there.”

“Oh, with Jasper, too?” He spoke in a rather low tone as his hands slid over my waist and stomach from behind as we walked down the hall. He pulled me close for a moment, stopping us from going further. 

“Yes, please. Mm,” I murmured as I considered all the possibilities if I had time to prepare. “I would love being your little sex slave for a weekend there, too. We could take turns at who is in charge.”

“Would you like for us to both be or for the two of you to be submissive together?” He questioned as he pushed me against the wall in the hallway. “I suppose there is a bunch of different combinations that we could try.”

His hand slowly skimmed across my belly just under my breast. My breath caught in my throat. “Well, that idea just wildly turned me on,” I told him as he began to kiss my neck. “Holy fuck. A weekend with Jasper in charge. Oh, my god. The things that man would do to us.”

He slowly dragged his nose over my jaw. “And here I thought that you’d like a weekend with you dominating us.”

“Oooo…” I drew out. His hand groped at my breast through my shirt suddenly, roughly. My head fell back as my eyes sank shut. “Oh, yes. How would you like that to go?”

For a moment, he kissed my temple. His lips lingered there with his nose in my hair. “I’ve fantasized about us going somewhere no one knows us. A city across the world, maybe. The three of us going out, as we did in Sydney, at the club. I want to flirt like that, but I want it to go further.”

I couldn’t help but giggle. “You love to say that you’re not that person in the videos, but Eddie is an exhibitionist, and so are you, Edward,” I purposefully said his name. I turned my head to kiss his cheek lightly as my hands smoothed up his chest. “So you want to fuck us in some semi-public place, but somewhere no one knows us, just in case. I guess that I should have seen that coming.”

“Seriously,” he snickered in embarrassment at himself. “Sadly, true. Fine, I’ll admit it. I am. I’ve been trying to find ways around it but, yes. That’s what I want. I want to fuck you outside, and I want the small chance that we’ll get caught. I know it’s risky and stupid. God, the other day, when we did that scene in front of everyone…”

He lifted me up against the wall as he had done in front of the cameras. Edward was fully hard this time. We kissed for a long moment, my fingers in his lovely thick hair. 

“I know, I could feel it. I loved it, too,” I admitted. 

He chuckled just a bit. “I think that’s part of the reason that I am so attracted to you. How… Unshy, you are.” 

“Slutty. The word you’re looking for is slutty,” I stated sarcastically. 

His teeth moved across my ear. “Do you want me to call you a slut, love?”

“Um, yeah?” I laughed in answer. I couldn’t help it. 

“Oh, okay,” he laughed as well, kissing my neck. “I don’t think that you are one, though,” Edward quickly clarified as if that was even a concern of mine. 

“I know! That’s part of the reason that it’s so hot. Really, I love that you’re a feminist.”

“Do you want to be my dirty little slut?” Edward asked in an incredibly sexy voice.

I let out an involuntary giggle and full-body shudder. “Oh, my god. Yes, please,” I laughed again despite myself, too turned on and embarrassed to control it. Purposefully, he started to walk us towards the bedroom while carrying me. Once we were inside, he put me on my feet. 

We began to kiss once more, his hands sliding all over my back. They would dip down to my ass, squeezing it tightly before moving back up into my hair. His fingers slid into my leggings and panties from behind.

“You are so wet. Wow.” His hand tightened around my cheek. “Does talking about such naughty things make you feel like a slut?” I could only nod. “I can tell that it does. It’s going to taste so good when I lick you right there.” His fingers slid lower and pressed inside of me. My knees gave out, but he was holding me, and it merely pushed me more into his hand. 

“Edward,” I moaned his name. “I love it when you eat me so much. It’s so fucking good. I enjoy doing it, but you make me feel like I’m the best thing that you’ve ever tasted.”

He turned me around, pulling my back to his chest. His fingers slid to the front and quickly found my clit. He rubbed it furiously, surprising me. Gasping, my knees promptly gave out once more. Thankfully he was still holding me up. 

“That’s because you are. And do you really like eating pussy?” He asked as his lips moved over my throat.

“Yes,” I giggled before turning my face to the side and giving him a little kiss on the cheek. “It’s been a while, though, and I don’t think that I’m a quarter as good at it as you are it.”

“I’d love to watch you do that one day,” he whispered into my ear. “Jasper and I have talked about it.”

I laughed despite myself again. “You’ve talked about watching me with another woman?”

“Yes,” he replied simply. 

I looked at him over my shoulder. “So, we’re just going to fuck everyone now?” I jokingly inquired. 

“Obviously not,” he snorted as he shook his head. Edward pulled his fingers from my panties and brought them to his lips to taste before bringing them to mine. His eyes watched as I sucked on them lightly. “We were actually talking about someone in particular.”

That wasn’t hard for me to figure out. “Alice?” I smirked. He hummed in response. “I’ve thought about it as well,” I admitted. 

“Is it weird that she’s sort of your sister?”

Shrugging, I shook my head. “She’s not really. Lettie was just my guardian. She never officially adopted me so that she could get money from the state to help take care of me. Honestly, Alice was my first crush and my first sexual experience. We may call each other sisters, but it’s never been that sort of relationship. Really, I think she finds it dirty and enjoys it.”

“Wait…” He paused, furrowing his brow. “I thought your first time was with the guy on the roof?” 

“That’s when I lost my virginity. Alice and I started fooling around right before. With kissing, then a little touching, kissing other places.” I slid my hand down behind me, gripping his erection through his pants. “I was very disappointed with my first time because all the other stuff that I had been doing was great with her. As it turns out, lesbians give you very high expectations. No matter who we dated in school, we kept on fucking around with each other. I was a terrible girlfriend back then.”

“Is she a lesbian?”

“Ehhhh…” I drew out. “I don’t think that she knows. She likes sex and cuddling with women and wants to be dominated and legit beaten by men. A black and blue beaten. She wants pain. But I don’t think that she wants a relationship with either. Honestly, she wants what we had in New York. Me living there and taking care of her with occasionally someone coming by to fuck us both.” I laughed awkwardly, leaning my head back against his shoulder. “That would be her ideal. A cuddly companion who demands no sex and cooks for her.”

Edward chuckled. “Actually, I can see you both liking that,” he joked, pulling my hair away from my shoulder to kiss there. “Alright, Ladies, I’m here for your weekly fucking…”

“Um,” I laughed, wanting to argue right away. “I have a problem with this!” Snorting at my response, he picked me up by the waist and threw me onto the bed playfully. I flopped back with my arms above my head. “I would need you to fuck me a lot more often than that. Every other day, at least. But I’d prefer daily.”

He took off his shirt and tossed it to the side before reaching forward to rip my leggings down along with my panties. I threw my shirt off for him. Edward then grabbed my ankle and dragged me towards the end of the bed so that my knees were hanging off the edge of the mattress. 

“I’ll fuck you anytime you want,” he promised seductively.

“If we did it every time that I wanted, you’d never get any work done,” I replied, sitting up on my elbows as I watched him kneel at the end of the bed between my legs.

“Oh, you have no idea,” he muttered as he began to kiss my thighs. I ran my fingers through his hair, watching him with my lip between my teeth. I spread my legs wider for him. “My goal in life is to be rich enough so that I can spend the rest of my days being able to fuck you whenever I want in new and exotic locations.”

And then he began to eat me like he was starving. 

“I like your goals,” I moaned. “I think that you’re almost there.” I meant that in more ways than one. “Mm, use your teeth. Oh fuck, yes, like that,” I groaned as he bit into my clit very gently before letting his tongue move over it. “I don’t know what’s better, this or listening to you talk.” I sighed, leaning my head back with both hands woven into his pretty red hair. It was still noticeably lighter from being in the sun so much, and his freckles on his shoulders were much darker than before. 

“I love how much you stroke my ego,” Edward murmured, glancing up at me before dipping his tongue deep inside of me.

“Your ego isn’t the only thing that you like me to stroke,” I stated sarcastically, smiling and happily enjoying his attention as well as our fun banter. He bit my thigh harder, making me jerk and laugh. “I have a feeling that I’ll be doing a lot of that on Sunday.”

His fingers pressed inside of me just as he pecked kisses along my wet lips. “Actually, what you’ll mostly be doing is bending over and taking it,” he countered boldly before hitching my thigh over his shoulder and diving back in. I fell back against the mattress, moaning loudly. 

“And what is it, exactly?” I continued to tease. I liked egging him on. He was entertaining like this. And I longed for whatever he was willing to give me. 

“Whatever the fuck I want it to be.” He pressed another finger inside. My head lolled to the side, and I rolled my hips towards him. “I’ll fuck you with whatever I want, however I want to, because you’re mine.” He kissed between my legs again. “Tell me that you’re mine.”

“Edward, I’m yours,” I breathed. 

He curled his fingers upwards, pressing deeper at a different angle. “And this is mine,” he whispered before dragging his tongue over my clit. “I will play with it however I want.”

“Yes, sir. It’s yours,” I moaned, tugging on his hair as my hips twisted in time with his movement. I was already starting to tighten and get close, and he could feel it, too. His fingers pressed in harder, his other hand resting on the flat of my stomach to hold me in place. Moaning at my taste when I came, he made my body shake. He slowly and carefully removed them and slid his tongue where they had been. “Edward,” I gasped his name, my legs violently jerking as he pushed my limits as far as he could. 

When he finally pulled away, I was panting and heaving. My body was warm and relaxed. I watched him with a smile as he stood from the bed and began to take off his clothes quickly. He was smirking to himself, smug about how well the evening was going. 

“I like having my legs over your shoulder like that,” I told him in a stupid little lighthearted giggle. “I’m scared that one day, you’re going to do too good of a job, and I’m going to kick you in the spine on accident.”

He grabbed both my thighs as he knelt on the bed, pulling them up so that they were around his hips. “Baby, if I can do that good of a job, I’ll happily wear that bruise.” He smirked down at me confidently, his erection brushing against me. It felt amazing, and my eyes rolled into the back of my head.  

I rubbed my lower body against him with my arms above my head, and my eyes closed. “I want you to cum on me.”

“Oh, really?” he chuckled, leaning down so that he could kiss my neck. 

“Yeah. I want you to pull out and cum all over my tits,” I told him with a naughty smirk of my own as assertively as I could. I felt him slowly slide into me, making me gasp in pleasure. “Do you want to cum all over my chest?” I asked as I dragged my nails down his spine. My legs wrapped loosely around his waist to pull him closer. 

“I do. And all over your ass, too,” he whispered dirtily in my ear. “Mm, I can feel it every time I say something that you like.” Edward smiled against my cheek, his hips thrusting in a slow, perfect beat. They rocked and swirled, rubbing me in all the right ways. 

“Don’t stop,” I whimpered, just holding on for dear life.  

“I can’t wait until I can taste Jasper inside of you.”

I came stupidly hard, much to my surprise, at his words and intense fucking. My nails sunk into his shoulders, my back arching up towards his body. Edward kissed me furiously, letting my orgasm slow before he pulled out. He began to rub himself, his eyes focused on me hotly. 

“Do you want him to cum in me?” I asked, watching him masturbate. I slid my hands over my breasts in a way that I knew he liked. “Do you want to taste our boyfriend inside of me? I’d love it if he fucked me hard and then I got to sit on your face.”

“Goddamn,” he moaned as he came on my breasts. His eyes closed tightly as he took a deep breath. 

“So, that’s something we’re definitely doing,” I told him in a giggle, my arms stretched out over my head again with a little smile. I felt so incredibly relaxed that I considered putting it down in my journal.

Edward pushed his hair away from his forehead, panting softly. His grin grew crooked to one side, his head tilting the other way. “Damn, you’re sexy as fuck right now. I don’t suppose that I can take a picture of you like this to send to him?”

“Of course you can,” I smiled innocently as I batted my eyelashes. 

“Sometimes,” he began as he pulled his phone from his pocket in his pants on the floor, “I really want to high-five you for the things we do because you’re legitimately my best friend, maybe even more so than Jasper now. But then I realize that’s very immature, and you may stop doing those things to me.” He took a quick picture. “And I realize that you did the other day, but you were joking.” 

I laughed. “Aw, sweetheart, it is immature, but so am I. So, I’ll still high-five you. You just gotta earn it, though.”

“I know that you’re joking still, but what would earn a high five?” He pointed the camera at me as he spoke. 

Shifting a little to the side, the sheets crinkled as I focused on his phone. “Are you filming me with cum on my boobs?” I questioned playfully. “You said a picture.”

“Yup,” he replied unapologetically. “What sex thing would earn a high-five?”

“Wouldn’t you rather film me in the shower?” I asked instead of answering. 

Edward looked away for a moment, out onto the mountains before sighing. “Oh…” I laughed at his expression, making him grin. “In a minute. Answer my question first, woman.”

Nodding my head, I pretended to nibble on my finger for a moment. “What would earn a post-sex high-five? Well, if you achieve the promised dozens of orgasms on Sunday, I will high-five you. Probably whenever I regain use of my limbs again on Tuesday. I hope.”

“Ha!” He laughed at my confidence in him. “I think that I’m going to have to step up my game.”

“I hope that you do because your game so far is amazing. And if you’re making me go shopping for slutty clothes, you better. I want you to go all out. I need to experience full-on actor Eddie in the bedroom. And in the living room and outside by the pool. Maybe in it, too. On the couch. Couches, actually. Both of them.”

“And what role shall I be playing?”

“You’ll be playing the version of yourself who is confident enough to take me however you please. Whenever, wherever. The version that is unafraid of hurting me because you can’t. That isn’t worried about scaring me off with whatever peculiar things that you want to do to me. Because I am a strange girl, and I really want to do weird things with you,” I explained with a big teasing smile. His phone was hovering over me as he knelt beside me on the bed on his knees. 

He cheekily pinched my nipple. “What weird things do you want to do?”

“Now, I’ve got some hardcore vampire fantasies that you could help me out with,” I winked at him. Edward smirked behind the camera. “You started something, and you need to finish it.”  

“Shall I actually bite you?” He huskily questioned. I nodded. “And where should I?” 

“Well, I think that I’d like you to nibble a little here.” I started at the curve of my breast, and then I slid it down my stomach. “But, I’d like it if you bit me here hard, though.” I moved my fingers over my thigh. 

He made a soft growling noise deep in his throat and moved his hand where I had touched. “Actually, I think that I’d like to bite you right here,” he whispered before edging his finger over my lips and just against my clit. It was enough to make me squirm. He slowly smirked. “Again.” 


I will be taking a break for the holiday. Episode 110, Pause, will post on December 2nd, 2019! See y'all then! 😊💛🍗🥧🤤


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11/18/2019

Episode One-hundred-Eight: Plans

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Episode One-hundred-eight: Plans


That evening after I went to the doctor and did some old-fashioned retail therapy, I played with my new journaling supplies. I set up each page with the date and a place for how I felt, what I did to relax, and what I was grateful for. I just did the week to see if I liked it first before I wasted any more time fiddling with tape and markers.

For the day, I decided my relaxation activity was setting up my journal. I worked on it for more than thirty minutes, at least. It was meditative in a way. Before I felt just mildly anxious, but when I was done, I felt calmer and excited for the week we had ahead. 

I already knew the things that I was grateful for that day. 

Edward, whom I missed dearly. He had texted to say that his throat was sore and would probably be having an early night. I started some soup in the slow cooker and made a pitcher of lemon tea as well to soothe it. He had spent most of the morning screaming with Sarah, sending dozens of funny pictures and videos to show me. 

The second was Jasper. He had the morning free, so we talked for a couple of hours on the phone. We discussed what videos he wanted to make with me once he arrived. We started with the food ones before he told me about all the ideas that he wanted to work on. His plans. He wanted to make retro gaming ones with me. We would play through old games, and we would just talk smack, kind of like I did with Tyler with the movies.

And lastly, I was grateful to Dr. Cauis. I overshared more than what I wanted to in our first session, but he didn’t make me feel uncomfortable in any way. Surprisingly, I instantly felt at ease with him. His homework was going to prove an interesting challenge for me, even though it shouldn’t have. I had everything to be grateful for, but I would quickly start repeating myself. And I didn’t know how to relax. 

I thought about what I wanted to do every day. I knew that I required more than thirty minutes, though. My brain just needed to shut off for a little while and have a break. No overthinking, no second-guessing. I wished that Edward could just take over my brain for a few hours to give me a minute to breathe. And then I thought about our date night.

“Edward, can I talk to you about something?” I asked after I had sat him down at the dinner table with a bowl of tomato soup and a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches. 

“Of course,” he smiled as he pulled one of them in half. He took a big bite, watching me curiously. Most men would have been worried about the phrase, but he was so secure in us, it didn’t even cross his mind that it could be something bad. I smiled to myself, glad he felt that way. What I wanted wasn’t bad. Just naughty.  

“Sunday, you still don’t want to go anywhere. Right?” I began.

“Yeah. Unless there was something that you wanted to do?” He offered, stirring his soup with his spoon before taking a bite. He smiled at me charmingly. “We could go out and have brunch if you wanted. I just think that I’d like to stay in most of the day if that’s alright.”

“Well,” I cleared my throat, “um,” I laughed and sighed, feeling embarrassed about how sweet he was being. I went ahead anyway. “Can we actually just turn off our phones and spend the entire day fucking again?”

Edward choked on his bite of sandwich, laughing and swallowing heavily. He took a big gulp of his tea to wash it down. “I love that you’re bringing it up like this and asking in advance and everything.”

I giggled. “I am for a reason, though. I wanted to know if you would like to spend it… playing. Role-playing.”

“What did you have in mind?” He stirred his soup again. Edward knew better than to put something in his mouth, just in case. He was also trying to pretend that he wasn’t extremely excited by my request. He was a good actor, but I could see it in his twinkling green eyes. 

“My doctor says that I need to relax more and I think that he’s right. I need to not think for a day, and I want you to be in charge. Whatever you want. Whatever you want me to do, whatever you want us to do together. If you want me on my knees the entire time or baking cookies. I don’t care. I want to be totally submissive to you. I’m tired of my brain and thinking.”

“The entire Sunday?” He questioned. 

“Yeah, if we can.”

He looked away from me for a moment before glancing back. “And I can do whatever I want the entire time?” He asked next. “Even if it’s totally sexual all day long?”

“Edward, anything. I will do whatever you want.”

His grin got so wide. “So, if I give you my credit card and I tell you to go lingerie shopping so that I have a nice selection to pick from… You’d do it?”

“Is that how you want to spend our Sunday?” I inquired with a smirk. 

“That’s how I want you to spend tomorrow to prepare. While I’m filming. I want you to go out and buy…” He thought for a moment, doing some sort of kinky math in his head. “At least a dozen different things for me to pick from for you to wear.”

“A dozen?” I laughed. “That’s a lot for one day.”

Edward ignored me. “At least. All different styles and colors. More, the better. Give me a variety. I want you to model them for me on Sunday, and I’m going to take pictures of you again. And get some shoes. Stockings, too. The whole thing.”

“What about lipstick?” I teased. This wasn’t entirely where I thought he would go first. I thought we were going to play vampire and victim again.  

“Yes,” he answered, leaning in. He held my gaze from across the table as he did. “Can you… Can you get some necklaces? Really long ones?”

“Long like my strand of pearls? Do you know the ones? They go almost to my belly button.”

He swiftly nodded. “Exactly.”

I nodded slowly as I took in his request. “Okay, I can do that. What else?”

Edward’s smile grew wider when he realized that I wasn’t going to argue with him. “That list you keep joking about it. I want it. I’m serious. I want you to fill it out for me. The dirty checklist.”

“I don’t think that you’ll be surprised, but okay,” I laughed a little awkwardly, taking his hand from across the table. “I’m going to tell you that there is going to be a lot of ‘haha no’s in there for you. A lot of jokes. Probably a page just for notes.”

He took a bite of his grilled cheese and slowly chewed, smirking a bit. He was still holding my hand with the other while he ate. “I want to do the things you enjoy.”

“I’ll enjoy having you take control of me in every way. I want to give you all your fantasies. And I like it when you’re confident and controlling. Also, I know that I’m way kinkier than you, so nothing you’re going to do will really surprise me.”

“I feel like I should almost be offended,” he joked with a smile. 

I laughed again and thought about my answer. “You’re getting kinkier. That’s why I want to do whatever you want. I want to see what we should explore next.”

“So, if we woke up early, you would happily dress in whatever lace thing that I picked out for you? And let me do whatever I wish to you the entire day? While taking pictures of it?” He asked just to make sure. 

“God, yes. Please.”

“What if I want to spank you again? Tie you to things? Gag you?” 

I rolled my eyes hard. “You already know that I like those things.” I took a sip of my tea.

“What if I want to take pictures by the pool again? In the daytime?” He was all about finding out all the details. I liked that about him. It made me smile. He was good at contracts for a reason. This was Business-Edward mixing with pleasure-Edward.

“The walls and hedges are huge. No one can see in unless they’re in the house. We can do whatever you want outside in the backyard. This place was designed to feel open while still closed off from the rest of the world. And the waterfall by your pool is loud enough to drown out the sounds that we would make.”

“I want to play with food,” Edward shyly declared. His cheeks were slightly pink as if he was embarrassed. I already knew that he did. “I’ve wanted to for a while.”

“You’d like for me to buy that as well tomorrow? Food good for that?” I deduced, trying to help him along. I could tell that he was still feeling timid and having trouble asking for what he wanted. One day we would finally completely work past that.  

Edward looked away from me, smiling to himself as he did. Slowly, he stirred his soup again. “Yeah. Get easy stuff for the day so that you don’t have to cook anything. Though I do love the idea of your cookies, I know how long they take you to make.”

“I’ll make you some soon,” I promised. “Any other requests?”  

“I want you to shop like you’re me,” he informed me very seriously, making me giggle. “I mean it, Isabella. Go wild.”

“Will you punish me if I don’t?” I inquired a little quietly, just peeking at him from the corner of my eyes as I took a bite of my dinner. 

His tongue moved in his closed mouth, words, and ideas rolling around in it as he considered how to respond to me. “Yes. But I don’t think that you want to start like that. I think you want to be a good girl and do exactly what I tell you to do,” he urged, looking directly into my eyes. I felt warm all over, a tingling starting at the base of my spine.

“Yes, sir,” I smiled, biting my bottom lip a little. “Do you just want lace?”

“Give me a bit of everything.”

I licked my bottom lip, looking up and thinking about all the fun things that I was going to buy for him. “I’m probably going to go cheaper… just in case we happen to destroy anything. That was an expensive dress you ruined last time.”

“Sorry,” he murmured. 

“Liar. We both liked it, and you know it.”

Edward laughed. “Yeah, you’re right.” Then he sighed heavily. “I have to go to work tomorrow now while thinking about all the things that you’re buying for me.” He took in a deep breath. “Things that you’re literally encouraging me to rip off your body. Oh, god.”

“And if you wanted… you can use some of your new toys on me.” I offered flirtatiously as my fingers ran along his knuckles down to his fingertips. “Maybe one of the plugs.” 
“Oh…” He drew out as he thought about it. “That’s a fun idea. So, on Sunday, we turn off our phones. But what about Jasper?”

“I thought you’d be sending the pictures to him.” I smiled. “We’ll put them on silent, and he is the exception. But you get to decide when and what he sees. You're totally in charge.”

“Shall I have you call me 'sir'?” He said a bit sarcastically as he turned his palm up to take my hand. 

“If that’s what you want. I’ll call you whatever you like, Tony,” I smirked, holding his gaze as I did. 

He sighed and looked out towards the pool for a moment. His eyes drifted off in the direction of the city lights. “It feels strange when you use that name,” he admitted. “I came to America to become a different person, and you’re the first individual that I was around that made it feel like I really could be. I like it when you call me Edward. It makes me feel exceptional in a way that I can’t describe.”

“Wow,” I breathed out softly then giggled as I flushed. “That was a surprisingly sweet and meaningful thing to say in a conversation that started with me asking you to dominate me, Edward,” I spoke his name purposefully as I pressed my palm to his. 

“I can beat your ass and hopefully give you thirty orgasms in a day but still recognize that you are the best part of my life and that you give me happiness and hope on a daily basis,” he expressed dryly. At the very end, he gave me a heartwarming smile.

I laughed at his joking attitude and purposefully over-sentimental words. “Please, bend me over something and spank me. I would love it so much. Please, don’t be gentle. Monday morning, I want people to ask me why I’m walking funny.”

He scoffed loudly. “I won’t be that rough.”

“I really want you to spank me hard.”

Edward sighed, thinking about it for a moment. “I couldn’t do that with my hands. Even if I wanted to. I don’t think that I could not pull back. I don’t want to hurt you.”

But I already had an answer to that. “You could use a belt. A soft leather one.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he repeated.

“I don’t want you to, either. I don’t want you to draw blood or anything,” I looked him knowingly, teasing him about his fangs. I had a tiny mark on my neck still. He kind of rolled his eyes but smirked. “I just… I just want to feel different. I don’t want to think about families or work. Or moving, money, or my emotions. I want to think about you and nothing else. I want to make you happy. I want you to use me. I want to be totally yours and out of my own head, even if it's only for a few hours. I need it.”  

“Damn,” Edward sighed, looking me over keenly. He tilted his head to the side as he considered his words carefully again. “So, what you’re saying is that you want me to fuck your brains out?” He deadpanned just to surprise me.  

I laughed loudly in shock at his funny bluntness. As always, his timing was perfect. “Yeah. Exactly. Very well put, Mr. Cullen. I want my brain to be rattled for a couple of days, please.”

He chuckled as he finished his drink. “I love you. You’re the best. I love our sex life so much. Thank you.”

Shaking my head, I took a big gulp of my tea to finish it as well. “You’re welcome, I guess? If you can actually deliver thirty orgasms, though... Who should be thanking who?”

I could tell by the look on his face that he was about to make a bad joke or comment. “So, do you think that you can actually handle it? I almost broke you the other day.”

“No, you didn’t. And what if I want you to break me? I hope you do. You have all day to try. There are so many things that I hope you do to me,” I flirtatiously purred. He was starting to squirm in his seat, his arousal getting to him. 

“Like?”

“I hope that you play with my ass some more. You’ve not really got to experiment a lot, and this would be a perfect chance to.”

“Wow,” Edward chuckled, shaking his head almost to himself. “I have to pretend to be a vampire while thinking about what toys I’m going to play with your ass with and wondering what sweets I’m going to get to eat off of it.”

“You don’t have to. You could try not to be a pervert.”

“No. No. That’s not how this works, love. You’re going to spend the afternoon getting ready for me to fuck you all day. At your own request. You’re going to buy sexy clothing and pick out foods that you think that you’ll like licked and eaten off your body.” He looked at me as if he was struggling with the very concept. “You asked me as sweetly as you could to use your body. Bella, I know how easily you get off. And I will make you cum at least two dozen times.” my boyfriend leaned in a little as he lowered his deep voice. “And I swear to you that I will use your body.”

I pushed away my half-eaten soup and sandwich. “I’m done. Do you want to use it right now?” 


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11/15/2019

Episode One-hundred-Seven: Kostas

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Episode One-hundred-Seven: Kostas


A few days passed. Edward worked, as did I. I filmed with Tyler and Seth three days in a row on different projects. We mainly did cooking videos, but we also shot some more funny reviews with Tyler at his place with Lauren. I also finally caught up on all the pictures that I had gotten behind on. All the books that I wanted to make were done and ordered. I focused on my online store, as well. On average, I was making around two thousand a week just on that. 

I couldn’t bear to look at my account information. Though I knew that I was doing well, and that was all that mattered. The only bills that I was really paying were my part of the rent to Alice since all of my things were still there. Soon enough, I would have to make the trek back to New York. I was dreading the effort, though. It would make me depressed, I feared. It would be cutting the final tie to my old life. 

Finally, it was time for my appointment with my new therapist. I nervously sat in the waiting room, playing with the silver swirling ring that Edward had gotten me for Christmas. It twisted and spun around my cold finger, my heart thumping in my chest almost painfully. 

“Isabella,” a handsome blond man with light blue eyes called from a doorway that led to a fancy office. I instantly stood. “Hello, Isabella. I’m Dr. Caius. It’s nice to meet you,” he said in a thick accent. He was perhaps Russian. I wasn’t sure. 

“Bella,” I corrected quietly as I followed him into his office. 

“Ah! Bella. Good! Yes. Bella, you can call me Kostas,” he responded brightly, pointing to the bright red plush sofa that took up one wall of the room. There was a comfortable chair across from it with a small table beside it. On it was a glass of water and an iPad. “Have a seat. Would you like coffee or tea?” He pointed to an automatic pod machine on the counter across the room from us. “Or cocoa?”

“Hot cocoa would be nice.” 

He quickly went to work on that, making two mugs of hot cocoa from packets. It was just Swiss Miss, which I was fine with. “So, what brings you into my office, hm?” He asked curiously, tearing one of the white envelopes open to pour into the bottom of the cup. 

“Several reasons, actually. Um… First and foremost, my anxiety is getting the better of me. I’m on medication, but I don’t feel as if it’s helping.”

“Ah, yes. I saw that in your file. You don’t feel it’s having an effect at all?”

“Not enough,” I breathed. 

“No worries. We will try another. We have options. I did research on the medication that you had a bad reaction with so that we can avoid such a thing in the future.” He nodded, putting the first mug in the machine for water. “What other issues?”

“Gosh,” I laughed tensely. “I’m not sure an hour is enough to list them. I have issues with PTSD, survivor's guilt. I’m a widow. My self-esteem. I’ve just moved across the country away from all of my friends. I started a new career. Plus, I just found my birth family and learned my father is dead. And, I’m in a new relationship with not one, but two men-”

“Wait,” he stopped with a little laugh of his own. “That’s a lot of information. Two men?”

I actually didn’t mean to throw that out there right away, but I was just on a roll. I flushed a little. “Oh, yeah. I’m not cheating. We’re in a relationship together. I live with my boyfriend Edward, and we’ve been together for almost six months. And we just started dating his childhood best friend, Jasper. He’s currently living in Sydney, but he’s moving to the states to be with us around June first.” 

“How did this happen? Online or…?” He asked curiously, starting the second mug. He was stirring the first. “Marshmallows?”

“No, thank you,” I smiled. He handed me the cup with the spoon and a napkin. “We were on vacation in Sydney. Edward is Australian, and we were visiting his family. We spent a lot of time together. They’ve always been very dear to each other. They were even roommates for years. But I got close to Jasper too. We’re both pansexual, and we bonded over that. And we both love Edward more than anything,” I grinned a little more. “We got drunk together one night, and one thing led to the other. In the morning, I realized that it wasn’t just sex for them. Well, for Edward. I knew that it wasn’t for Jasper.”

“And how does that make you feel?” He inquired, sitting down with his own mug across from me. 
“Which part?” I laughed. 

“Yes, it is a lot to unpack,” he agreed with a chuckle. “We’ll start with more than just sex.”

I took a small sip of the hot sweet brown liquid. “It’s a mix of things. Excited for the future and surprised. Not in a bad way. Edward and I connect on so many levels, I shouldn’t be shocked that we share something so fundamentally similar. I feel dumb for not seeing it sooner, though. That he likes men, as well, I mean. And I’m sad for them. That they weren’t in a place where they could share their feelings without a buffer, but happy that I could be that for them.”

He nodded, still stirring the spoon in his mug. It clicked against the sides. “How long have you been in a polyamorous relationship with him?” 

“Over a month now. We haven’t actually been together for most of it, which has its pluses and minuses.”

“Such as?” 

I stared into the swirling fluid, playing with the spoon a little. “Sydney... we were focused on the new exciting sex. Which, sure, is great. But that’s not what makes a healthy partnership. We’ve been forced to concentrate on getting to know each other more.” I laughed again, looking down at the cup. “Sex is still a factor, but it’s not at the forefront. We talk about our feelings a lot. Especially Jasper and I. He’s been very comforting the past few weeks.”

He picked up his tablet and tapped it so that it turned on. “And what has he been comforting you about?”

“Oh! Well, that’s one of the big reasons that I’m here. I recently took a DNA test. I was raised by my grandmother before she died when I was fifteen, and I didn’t know my father. My mother died when I was five of a drug overdose. And… I found my family. My real family.” Tears instantly sprung to my eyes, my nose stinging. But I held them back. “I found out that I’m Native American, which is amazingly cool. And that I have three half-siblings and an aunt and uncle. A grandfather who is the chief of our tribe, too! Which is great.”

“But your father is dead,” he added quietly. 

“Yeah, it’s been terrific besides that. I am happy to know, but it hurts.”

“Why was your father not in your life before if I may ask?”

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. Quickly, I took another sip. It was too hot to have a big gulp still. “My grandparents kept me from him because he wasn’t white. My grandfather tried to kill him, permanently putting him in a wheelchair. Shot him, actually. I think it’s what drove my mother to do drugs, so it’s like they killed her, too.” I paused for a moment, feeling a thrill of an angry tingle as it ran down my spine at the thought. “They hid me. I guess you could even say that they kidnapped me. My father searched for me his entire life. He died of cancer a couple of years ago, but my brother Jacob continued to look for me for him.”

Kostas leaned his mouth against his hand as he rested his elbow on the arm of the chair. He nodded thoughtfully. “Have you been able to meet your new siblings? Have you made contact with them?” 

“Oh, yes! Edward planned a trip for us the weekend after we found out. He flew my best friends in to surprise me, and we took a private jet to Washington. I met most of my remaining family while I was there, and we talk on the phone, too. All the time. My sisters and I have been texting all morning about bugging our brother,” I smirked a little. “He’s having a baby soon, and they’re throwing the baby shower for his wife.” 

Smiling, he tapped on his tablet as he glanced up. “And from your reaction, I take it that everything is going well with them?” 

“Better than I could have ever imagined,” I admitted to him, rubbing my cheek with my palm for a minute. “I feel like there is a whole new part of myself that I don’t know, and it’s a little jarring.” 

“As it should be!” He offered sympathetically as he leaned forward. “I must say that you lead an exciting life, Bella. I have so many questions now,” he confessed, thinking to himself.

“Yeah, this isn’t really something you cover in a session or two,” I joked.

“No,” he smirked. “Let’s see. Let’s go in a different direction. Career. Tell me about that.” 

“Well,” I started, licking my lips. “I’m a photographer and have been pretty seriously for almost a decade now. And I worked in the non-profit field with my best friend. I helped her start her charity in New York. Or was, until about three months ago. Then when I moved to LA about a month ago, I began working with my boyfriend full-time in his budding media empire.” 

He cocked his head to the side. “Media empire?”

“Edward is an actor,” I smirked a little again. Once more, I played with the spoon and twisted it between my fingers. “How unusual in Los Angeles, right? But he’s the real deal.” I looked up at him. He was a very expensive doctor with loads of forms on privacy. I was going to have to trust him. “Have you heard of Eddie Cullen?”

Dr. Caius instantly lit up in recognition. “Ah! Yes! The voice actor. I enjoy video games. This is your Edward?” I nodded in answer, smiling to myself as I did. “He does more than that, though. Ah, short life-style videos online?” He thought out loud. 

“Exactly. I’m making those with him now. His manager signed me a couple of weeks ago, and we have already gotten sponsorship offers. Soon he’s launching a network with channels done by our friends and me. Jasper when he gets here, too. He works in production at a news studio in Sydney right now. Anyway, I actually started making them with him before we even began dating, but now it’s full-time.” 

“You don’t seem excited about that,” he commented gently. “Is there a reason for that?”

“Oh, I’m really psyched. I’m just… scared.”

“Of?”

“Edward is younger than me, and he is so full of energy. I’m worried that I can’t keep up. Mentally and physically. I can’t keep track of all the things that he’s doing in his career. I literally fell asleep on the set the other day after I played an extra for three hours. He carried me to the car after working twelve hours.”

He typed into his tablet, biting the corner of his bottom lip before he gestured at me. “What does it mean to keep up?”

I took a long sip, considering it. “I’m not sure exactly. I feel like I’m in this weird space between not doing enough and doing too much. I’m tired, but when I sit down, I hear my grandmother’s voice telling me to go do something else. And Edward has all these grand plans for the future.”

“Are they your plans, too?”

“Some of them.”

“Such as?” He tapped on the screen, taking a long slurp before setting the white mug down on the table. 

“Marriage. Children-” 

He brought his hand up. “Have you decided to get married?”

I smiled. “Yes,” I answered without hesitation. “But not yet. He would marry me tomorrow if I told him. But we’re going to wait until at least October to make anything official.” 

“This makes you happy?”

“Very,” I grinned a little wider. 

“And you’ve discussed children as well?” Kostas continued to question. 

My face dropped a little, and I sighed. “Endlessly. Edward is young. Like I said. Twenty-five. But he’s so ready for kids, and marriage, and the whole nine yards. And I eventually want that too, when we’ve been married for a while, but I don’t know if I can even have kids. And my sister-in-law is pregnant, and my one female friend here is pregnant. It’s screwing with my head.”

“Why do you think you can’t?”

“I tried for years with my late husband, and we weren’t able to conceive. His sperm count was fine when we had it tested. He died before we could find out... If it was really my fault. And I haven’t tried to figure out for sure. Physically, I feel fine, so there hasn’t been a reason to go to a doctor.”

Dr. Caius nodded his head. “And when did your husband die?”

“Four years ago. A couple of weeks before his fortieth birthday,” I explained in a meek voice. “Aiden had something called a PFO. It’s a hole in the heart. He didn’t know that he had it. Most don't and don’t even need treatment, surprisingly. His just suddenly… tore his heart apart. It’s rare, but happens.”

He gasped. “How terrible! He died of a broken heart!” 

“Literally,” I smirked a little sadly, finishing my drink. “I honestly never thought that I would get into a relationship again, let alone far enough into one to have kids. I feel irresponsible not looking into it now. But I’m terrified to do so.” 

Sighing, he pushed his mouth to one side. “It is a hard thing. It’s scary. Would knowing these answers make you feel any better?”

“I don’t know. Edward doesn’t care if we adopted, so it doesn’t matter that way. It just makes me feel inadequate.”

He sat back in his chair a little as he crossed his legs at the knee. “It is not uncommon for people to feel that way when they cannot have children,” he mused. “But the ability to have them is less important than the capability to give them love. Your partner says he doesn’t care if you adopt. Do you?” 

I quickly shook my head. “That was my plan with my best friend, actually. In New York. We were thinking that once we hit our forties, we’d slow down enough to foster teenagers. Her non-profit helps disadvantaged youths, among other things.”

“What is the name of the charity?”

“Culture for all. Fantastic organization. I’m super proud to be a part of it. I miss it terribly. I have so many friends who do it, and it’s always just so much fun,” I elaborated in a rush.  

He wrote down the name, smiling. “I will check it out for myself. We’re coming to the end of our time, Bella. So, I am going to go ahead and write you a new prescription. I’ve made sure it won’t interact in any way with your birth control. I know that is a very big concern of yours. Understandably.”

“Yes, thank you,” I responded quietly, taking his little slip of blue paper.

“I would like to see you next week, yes?” He asked. I nodded in return. “Same time?” I nodded again. “Good, good,” Dr. Cauis replied, typing into his tablet again. “So, I am going to give you some homework. It is easy, though. Relax for thirty minutes every day. Time it, if you must. Read, nap, paint your nails. Play video games,” he said with a little smile. “Whatever you wish. Write it down and how you feel before and after. Then bring it with you next time.”

“Shall I start a journal?” I pondered, still looking at my prescription. “I had one with a therapist before, where I wrote three things that I was grateful for every day.”

The doctor laughed. “Actually, that was going to be next week’s homework. It might help you with your self-esteem and anxiety.”

“I don’t mind starting that now. I’ll pick up a new diary on the way home.” 

He stood from his chair, and I did the same. “Perfect. I look forward to seeing what you have written. And I will look into that non-profit.” Kostas extended his hand and offered it to me, shaking mine quickly. “I enjoyed speaking with you today, Bella, and I look forward to our time next week.”

“See you then,” I promised. I knew for sure that I was coming back. 

Before I returned to the house, I went to the craft store and spent way too much money on journaling supplies. Pens, markers, stickers, tape, and a beautiful rainbow book to write in. If I was going to do it, I was going to do it all the way.  


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11/11/2019

Episode One-hundred-six: Archibald Frey

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Episode One-hundred-six: Archibald Frey


When we were alone in his trailer for just a moment before Tasha and George were to come to take me to wardrobe, Edward kissed me with both of his hands on my cheeks. It was sweet and tender. 

“I’m sorry that I outed you,” I whispered to him softly, my forehead against his. “But she knew. I didn’t actually tell her anything.”

“I know,” he smirked. “It felt good, though. To say it to someone. To not hide it.”

I smiled, kissing him again just before there was a knock on the door. George peeked inside, leaning into the doorway. “Ready for you, Ms. Swan. I think that you’ll like what we got for you.”

The director was in the vast space filled with clothes, waiting for me to come out in the outfit once I was dressed. I wasn’t wearing any makeup yet. What had been picked out for me was a tiny crop top and a black pleated skirt with high-heeled black combat boots. It was almost exactly like something that I had worn in the nineties. 

“Can you turn around for me?” Rob instructed, writing something on his clipboard as I did. I spun slowly, making a full circle with my hands out beside me. “That’s perfect.” He looked over at the stylist. “I love her hair. Make it massive and curly. Come here for a second,” he beckoned me to come closer, pursing his lips for a moment. “Oh, your eyes are lovely. Lips, too. I didn’t notice that before. Have her makeup draw attention to that. Lots of jewelry. Silver and leather.” He wrote something else down. “Well, you’re not what I envisioned for this part originally, but I’m excited to see how it goes. You’re looking fantastic so far, Isabella.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said politely. My eyes were on the ground the entire time as my skin turned red-hot. 

“She goes by Bella. She’s just too shy to tell you,” George chuckled before going to get some more supplies.

The director nodded his head in understanding and smiled at me as he bowed his head a little. “Well, then, Bella, I’ll see you on set in a little while.” 

Tasha talked to me the entire time she did my hair. Edward and Sarah had a few scenes to film before they got to my part. 

The first one, I was simply in the background. Sitting at a bar and drinking while Edward and Sarah acted in the foreground. Which was easy enough. What was hard was not openly watching them. They quickly got through the scene, though. They were both professionals, and it showed. 

Then it came to the first one where Edward was going to interact with me in the background. He was supposed to look like he was trying to pick me up. 

“I’m going to try to stay in character the whole time,” he whispered to me as they reset. 

“Oo, I get to flirt with a vampire,” I teased before I took my spot at the bar again. I was given a fresh serving of brightly colored juice in a chilled martini glass. Playfully, I winked at him over it before ‘action’ was called. 

Sarah was supposed to be talking with the bartender at the very far end of the counter while we were at the other. He slid next to me, his beautiful green eyes focused on mine with a seductive smirk on his pretty pink lips. It was a little funny to see him in all the makeup, but he was still beautiful. 

“Hello, is this spot taken?” He asked without an accent, his voice deep and smooth. I instantly wanted to laugh but held it in.

I smiled a little to myself, looking over at him timidly for only a moment. “Well, I was saving it for someone special, actually,” I stated very quietly as I focused my attention solely on him. I was supposed to be dazzled by him. It wasn’t hard to feel that way. I flipped my hair over my shoulder so that it fell down my back. 

“Oh? And where are they?” He pretended to look around. 

I took a sip from the martini glass, running my finger over the rim after as I smirked at him. “Well, he’s standing right in front of me. Though I don’t know why. There is a perfectly good stool right there.” 

I saw him struggle not to drop his mask. It wouldn’t have mattered that much if he did. As long as we were flirting. They weren’t focusing on us, and there was no audio. We just needed to be there, pretending to talk in the background, to set up another scene. He sat down in the stool after pulling it a little closer to mine. 

“Someone as beautiful as you shouldn’t be here alone tonight,” he started again with the cheesy lines. He was going to be extra since I was playing with him. I could tell that this was going to be a fun day.  

I pretended to pout. “I am. But I was hoping not to leave alone,” I purred, running my fingers over his thigh under the bar. His eyes actually got a little darker as they narrowed on me. He liked what I was doing. 

“Well, I would love to keep you company.” He slowly ran his finger down my cheek. “What’s your name, you resplendent creature?”

“Marie,” I answered instantly, and he smiled, biting his bottom lip for a moment. His fake fangs dug into the plump pink flesh. “What’s your name?”

He brought his hand out to me, taking mine so that he could ‘properly’ introduce himself. “Archibald Frey.” He took my fingers and brought my knuckles up to his lips to kiss. “You may call me Archie, though. Or whatever you please.”  

The director called cut. We stayed in our spots. Edward kissed my knuckles again with his eyes on mine. They set up to do the scene from a different angle, and we were to just keep talking and flirting. Rob spoke to Edward for a few minutes in private. They were chuckling and nodding. When they were ready, he came back to his stool and took my hand once more.

“Archie is a little old-fashioned,” I mused when they called ‘action’ again. I took another sip of the juice. “But so is Marie, I guess.”

He leaned in, his eyes focused on my lips for a moment. “There isn’t anything wrong with being a little old-fashioned. I could probably call myself that.”

“So, you’re obviously not alone,” I glanced down at the bar for just a moment at Sarah before looking at him and tilting my head. “Should you really be trying to pick up a random woman right now?”

Edward chuckled darkly, leaning into my ear a bit. “One does not pass up an opportunity to enjoy such splendor.”

“Oh, really?” I asked in a whisper. “Am I splendid?” I shyly questioned. He gave a short nod. Clicking my tongue and rolling my eyes, I took a little sip of my drink.  

“A man could forsake the sunshine to bask in your beauty alone, and he would never miss the sun. Especially if you were keeping him warm at night,” he offered smoothly in his rich deep accent-less voice. 

I looked him over slowly. “And do you need someone to keep you warm? Your hands seem oftly cold.”

The director called cut again. Edward promptly leaned forward and kissed me. Lucky for me, everything was smudge-proof. I giggled against his mouth, his fingers digging into the back of my neck. 

“My, Archie. Aren’t you forward,” I mused when he pulled away. He chuckled softly, his hand slipping from my neck and down to my shoulder so that he could brush my hair away from my face. 

When we went to another set, it was time for the camera to be focused on us. We were in a dark hallway that appeared to be lit up by moonlight. Edward was to have me pressed against the wall and ‘drinking’ from me. Or that was what he was supposed to do with the extra. The scene was probably about to get more playful than it originally was. 

“So,” Rob started with an awkward laugh, “I guess, make out like you’re just about to hook up after meeting at the pub for the first time. We’ll see how it looks. Bella, you would be a little drunk and irrationally attracted to him.”

“Aggressive, then?” I probed. He nodded. 

“Then, when I tell you, you’ll bite her neck, Eddie. The left side.” He turned to look back at me. “It’ll be ‘painful’... but in a good way,” he said to me with a grimace. “Does that make sense?”

“Yes, sir,” I laughed. 

We got into position, me against the rough gray wooden wall. I grabbed onto the lapels of his jacket. “Hiya Archie,” I beckoned to him mockingly. 

Rob yelled, ‘action.’ Instantly Edward and I connected, kissing furiously. He was attacking me as if no one was watching, his intense mouth dominating mine. He obviously enjoyed what he was doing. For my part, I tried to kiss him back just as ferociously as my fingers moved over his shoulders and neck into his hair. When his hand went to my ass for a moment, I gasped against his mouth. His fingers swiftly went to the bend of my knee to pull my leg up around his hip. 

“Cut! Perfect!” He laughed, clapping his hands together once. “Okay. So… Bella, you’re doing great. I want to do another take, but this time can you dial it up a bit more?”

“Do you want me to dial it up to Eddie levels of aggression?”

He swiftly nodded, smiling as he pointed a finger at me. “I want you to be shockingly assertive. Make the vampire blush.” 

“Okay,” I grinned. “I’ll try.” 

As soon as he called ‘action’ again, it was my turn to attack Edward. With my hands on his lapels, I rocked him forcefully towards me as I seized his mouth entirely. He actually moaned in surprise against my lips, just trying to keep up. Then I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist, just like I had the very first time we were together. His hands went to my ass to automatically hold me up. 

“Bite,” Rob called softly. 

And boy did he. Edward yanked my head to the side with his fingers in my hair, exposing the left side of my neck. His teeth dug into my skin. His fangs stabbed into my throat, and I actually and very loudly gasped. 

“Cut! That’s exactly what I wanted!” He cried out happily. “Perfect!”

Edward pulled back to look at me, panting. His eyes were huge, and he was half-hard against me. His lips were faintly red. I quickly brought my hand up to my neck and pulled it away to find blood. I laughed loudly. 

“You actually bit me!”

“Oh, shit! I am so sorry,” he shouted in shock as he dropped me to my feet. I just kept giggling, laying my head back against the wall. It was only a little blood. He had barely broken the skin. He forgot about how long his teeth were with the fangs. 

“Well, it’s now time to add some fake blood,” Tasha giggled as she came up to me with her kit of stuff with the special effect's supervisor. “That’s too method, Eddie!” She scolded him. 

He was getting his face touched up by George. His frown was hilarious. He hated that I was laughing so hard about it. I could hear Sarah snorting just a few feet away while she waited for her parts. 

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered again. I reached for him, trying not to smile too much. “I can’t believe that I made you bleed.”

“It’s just a little,” I snickered. “Hey, I said that I wanted you to bite me with them. Just… maybe not in front of everyone,” I teased, lowering my voice towards the end. Tasha laughed to herself. Edward actually flushed and looked away. “Aw, I made the vampire blush!”

“I’m going to bite you again,” he threatened weakly at my jesting. 

“Yay!”

My boyfriend just shook his head and rolled his eyes. 

When it was time to film our final scene, Edward lifted me back up by my ass so that my legs were around his waist again. My arms wrapped around his neck. He was supposed to be ‘drinking’ from me. My skin was covered in just a bit of fake edible sticky sweet blood. It was chocolate flavored. They let him pick. They also had strawberry and mint. 

With one hand on my thigh and another on the side of my neck, Edward began to kiss and suck at my throat. My eyes went wide before shutting, my head falling to the side. It actually felt fantastic.

Sarah popped into the shot suddenly for her line. “Hey! We gotta go! I know where the… thing… is,” she yelled loudly and cryptically. “Archie!” She snapped, then stomped her foot.

“I’m a little busy here, kid,” he growled back when he lifted his head. The fake blood was smeared onto his lip and chin. 

“Yeah! He’s a little busy here!” I squeaked my one line. Then I saw her begin to crack, her face slowly growing into a smile before she dropped her head and laughed. I had to press my lips together to keep from giggling as well. Edward nipped at me playfully before chuckling as well.  

She covered her face with her hands. “That was too cute. Okay. Sorry. Let’s try that again.”  

It took several tries for them to get exactly what they wanted from everyone. I had chocolate blood dripped onto me several times. It was starting to get into my already crunchy from styling products hair. It was so much fun. Everyone kept laughing. They continued praising me for my small efforts to make sure that I was comfortable. 

After, Edward and Sarah had other scenes to film. They went well on into the night. Somewhere along the way, I fell asleep on the yellow wooden pallets. I curled up on them with my arms as my pillow. When I felt myself being lifted, I sleepily opened my eyes to see my love smiling down at me. 

“Hi, Archie,” I whispered flirtatiously, laying my head on his chest. He was already wearing his regular clothes, and his face was clean of makeup. 

“Hello, Marie,” he replied without the accent. “May I take you home?”

“Mm,” I hummed with a drowsy smirk. “Well, someone’s got to keep you warm.”  


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11/8/2019

Episode One-hundred-five: Set

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One-hundred-five: Set


I made sure to wake up with Edward this time. There was no way that I was going to sleep through the alarm again. I wanted to see him work, and this time and not act like a child afterward. 

We showered quickly together. He decided that he wanted to eat breakfast on the set so that we didn’t have to rush for time. We could just get something delivered. That meant that he was craving crepes. They were one of his favorite breakfast things to have at the moment. 

They were added to my list of food items for videos. 

Tasha and George were waiting for us when we arrived at his tiny trailer. They were sitting at the picnic table, sipping on coffees. They both perked up when he showed up, smiling and waving as they stood. 

“You’re back!” Tasha declared excitedly as she hugged me. “Thank you for that recipe! I’ve already made that macaroni and cheese at home, and it was so good that I ate it three meals in a row,” she gushed quickly, putting her hand on my back. 

I laughed, walking with her to the stairs. “I’m so glad that you liked it. It was my guardian’s growing up. She’s a great cook.” 

My boyfriend went to open the door for us. He took my hand and helped me step up the stairs first before following behind. Edward was always my gentlemen. He then helped Tasha up the thin metal steps, offering his hand to her as well. 

“I’ve been watching some of your videos, and I’ve made a couple of things now. You should make it for one of those. It would be perfect,” she continued.

“She made jam, and it was delicious,” George informed me, going to the little closet once he was inside. He pulled out a suit jacket and a stark white button-down shirt. “She brought me a peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich that she made with it, and it was one of the best that I’ve ever had.”

She beamed at him. “Thank you.” 

I sat at the table to get out of the way. Edward went to his chair, pulling out his phone as he did. He quickly put in his order before he passed it to me wordlessly, obviously still sleepy. He had selected a strawberry and cream crêpe with extra everything, a big fruit salad, and an extra-large iced coffee with extra caramel. I smiled to myself because I knew my man well. I ordered a crêpe with Bavarian cream and hot Rainier cherry syrup, and a large vanilla cappuccino.

“Oo, good choice,” he mumbled when he saw what I had chosen. “Can I have a bite? I’ll share my fruit.” 

“Of course, sweet man.”

He smiled lazily before passing the phone over to George. “Get yourselves something, too.”

“I love you so much, sweet man,” he breathed sarcastically, taking the cell from him. Edward playfully winked, making him break immediately and laugh. “Thank you. More fucking coffee, please. Oh, and a muffin. Tasha, what do you want? They have Belgium waffles.” 

“Do they have ones with Nutella?” She asked as she started to style Edward’s hair. Her long dark fingers dug into his red locks, scratching it back as she examined it. Her nails were painted black and glossy, standing out against the auburn. 

“Mm, yes. They have one with strawberries, bananas, Nutella, chocolate pearls, and whipped cream.” There was a knock at the door. Tasha nodded at him as he got up to answer it. “Milk?” George opened the door and smiled. “Hey, Sarah! We’re ordering breakfast on Eddie’s dime. What would you like?”

“Hey!” She laughed, coming into the trailer stairs. 

“Yeah, get yourself something, too,” my boyfriend instantly offered. 

“Thanks!” She grinned and then she saw me. Her eyes getting wider. “Oh! Hey! Welcome back! It’s so good to see you again!” Sarah hurriedly came to hug me. I stood up to greet her. “I was hoping that you would come back soon.”

I hugged her in return. We were close to the same height, so for once, it wasn’t awkward for me. “It’s good to see you, too.”

“So, if you’re getting me breakfast, I’m totally taking you two out to lunch. We’ve got a long one today it looks like,” she stated firmly, pulling back to look at Edward with her arm still around my waist. 

I met my boyfriend’s eyes in the mirror, and I nodded and smiled. He grinned in return. “Thank you. Sounds great. You ladies pick. I don’t care what we eat.” He then closed his eyes as he relaxed in his seat. 

“You don’t want any say?” She asked him in surprise, glancing back over her shoulder at him as she finally released me completely. We sat on either side on the small table in the tiny space. 

He shook his head, not opening his eyes. “Anything will be fine as long as the company is so lovely.”

Sarah looked over at me and smirked. “He’s so smooth. He needs to teach me a thing or two.”

I giggled softly, putting my cheek on my fist. “He is that.”

“He’s probably just acting it up for us,” Tasha kidded, slicking up his hair with some sort of fluffy white cream. She scrubbed it in until it was all gone. 

“No,” I replied lightly. “He’s like this when we’re alone, too.” Finally, he opened his eyes again. Our gaze met in the mirror once more, and Edward smiled. “He’s just a little louder when he’s around other people.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

I snorted. “No, you’re not. It’s how you make money, silly.” He winked at me, smirking a little. Once again, he closed his eyes to relax. 
 
This day of filming was a lot more fun. There was a lot more action, and Edward was hilarious throughout. He was often filming with Sarah, but she would get lots of breaks when the director would want to focus on Eddie for a moment for expression shots. We were sitting far enough away so that we could talk without worrying about messing up the take. Though we were still chatting in whispers.  

We were sitting on a set of yellow pallets that were stacked up at least three feet high. The room was dark, and there weren’t a lot of people around us in our tiny corner. Edward was in the middle of what looked like a haunted house. 

“He is so cute,” Sarah whispered to me with a little smile. “He’s such a sweetie pie.”

I nodded, biting my lip as I watched. “Edward really is.”
    
“You know,” she began with a little laugh, “when I first met him. I seriously thought that he was gay. Though obviously, I was wrong.” I smirked a bit, but I didn’t say anything. I nodded my head just once. She clicked her tongue and made a little noise. I looked over at her, and Sarah smiled knowingly. “Oh, I see. That’s what I thought.”

I snorted and shook my head. “I didn’t say anything. What do you think?”

“He obviously likes women.”

“He does,” I agreed with a smile. “Very much so.” 

Sarah lifted her eyebrow and lowered her voice even more. “He’s not straight, though. I can tell.”

“How?” 

She hummed, leaning back against the metal wall as she drew her blue jean covered legs underneath her. She was still wearing the yellow hoodie from before, but this time it was all scuffed up on purpose. For a moment, she picked at the frayed hem, twirling the strands between her delicate little fingers. “The way he talks. The way he just… acts. He’s got a serious flamboyant streak. I mean, it’s not all the time but sometimes. Also, I keep catching glances of him looking at pictures of a guy on his phone. Like shirtless, surfing, hot kinds of photos.”

I laughed despite myself. “Was he blond? Mustache? Hunky?”

“Yes!” She whispered in surprise.  

“I know who he’s looking at then,” I smirked and shrugged my shoulders. “It’s not my story to tell. He’s not ready to be like that yet.”

Rocking a little in her spot, she nodded. “I can understand that. I won’t say anything. But when he’s ready, let him know that he has an ally in me.”

“Thank you. That’ll mean a lot to him. I hope one day that he feels comfortable enough to share that part of himself. It’s still really new to him. But he’s young. He has time to explore it,” I said, not looking at her but my fingers as they curled and uncurled around the yellow wood beside my knee. 

Just a moment later, I heard my boyfriend call my name boomingly loud from across the room. He was standing beside the director. He waved his hand to me when he realized that he had my attention. 

“Oh, you’re being summoned. What does that mean?” Sarah asked jokingly, cocking her head to the side. 

“Who knows?” I slid down from my seat. “I guess that we’ll see in a moment.”

Swiftly, I came over to them. “Yes?” 

“Ah, there you are,” Eddie cooed at me, taking my hand before he brought it up to his lips to kiss. He was in full actor mode. “Rob, of course, this is my lovely pre-fiance, Ms. Isabella Swan.”

Rob was a handsome English man with wild floppy brown hair and big blue eyes. I knew that he was an actor as well, but I wasn’t sure what movies he had been in. He smiled at me and took my hand to quickly shake it. “Lovely to meet you, Isabella. You are his favorite subject.”

I instantly blushed. “Nice to meet you as well,” I quietly breathed out, glancing over at my boyfriend quickly before looking back at him. 

“So,” Edward started to get my attention, “we’re about to break for lunch. Afterward, I’m going to be filming a scene where I will be picking up on a random victim to drink from. Would you like to be my victim?”

“What? Seriously?” I asked in surprise, turning to look at him fully. 

“Our original girl has suddenly dropped out, and Eddie suggested you as a replacement if you’re interested in the role. It’s a few simple scenes and a line,” Rob explained, pushing a pencil behind his ear. He had a faded blue baseball cap on backward, his hair sticking out the back and sides messily. “All you’d have to do is go through a little hair and makeup before.”

Slowly, I blinked as I took the information in. It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting to happen when I came over. My mouth opened and closed a couple of times before I looked back at Edward. He smiled encouragingly. 

“Yeah, that sounds like fun! I’m not an amazing actor, but I will try my best,” I shyly responded, dropping my eyes as I flushed. 

Edward’s hand smoothed his hand down my back. “I think you’ll do just fine, love.” 

“Don’t worry,” Rob said with a chuckle. “I’m sure that you’ll do just fantastic. I’ll see you both after lunch.” He turned to look at the assistant next to him. “Go ahead and call for a break. We’ll be back on set C in two hours.”

We decided to have lunch at a little hole-in-the-wall Thai place that was less than a block away. It was amazing. We all had different dishes and were sharing, family-style. Sarah obviously loved food as much as we did. 

“You should join us for a video,” I began offhandedly as we ate ice cream for dessert on the way back. There was a sweet little shop, three doors down. We had been discussing the best cold desserts for nearly twenty minutes straight, and she had some opinions on the matter that she was willing to argue with Edward over. It was pretty funny. 

Her eyes got big, and she reached over to grab me with one hand while holding her huge waffle cone with vanilla ice cream and rainbow sprinkles in the other. “Can I be in a cooking one?”

“Girl, you can be in any video you want,” Eddie replied far too cheerfully before he took a long lick of his own rocky road cone. 

I turned to look at our young friend. “Oh, I see what you mean,” I spoke meaningfully in a quiet voice. She threw her head back in laughter. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” He questioned as he scrunched up his nose a little. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.  

For a moment, I pursed my lips as I considered how to answer him. I decided not to lie. “Remember when you told me that she’s figured you out?” I questioned lightly. “You’re right. She really has.”  

He looked at her and then back at me. His lips pursed to one side and then the other, his cheeks kind of pink as he nodded. 

“I won’t say anything. I don’t really know anything. She actually didn’t confirm or deny anything,” she added quickly. Sarah was worried that I had gotten myself in trouble with him. 

“It’s probably more telling that she didn’t,” he commented and then sighed. We were practically alone on our walk back to the studio. There wasn’t anyone directly around us, just a few people across the street walking their dogs or biking. He held his chin up. “I’m bisexual. I’ve only recently admitted it to myself that I was. You are only one of three people who now know,” he explained calmly, but I could see his nervousness in how smooth he kept his face. I squeezed his hand. 

Sarah touched his arm. “I’m honored that you would tell me. I promise to keep it to myself. But like I told Bella, if you need an ally, I will be there for you. You’re my friend, and we need to stick together. You’re a really talented actor, and I’m proud to work with you on this film.”

“Same,” he barely breathed out, his voice tight. He smiled meekly.  

Grinning, I came around to her and took her arm. “So, what kind of cooking videos do you want to do? Maybe I can do your favorite dishes.”

“That sounds like so much fun,” she giggled as we continued to saunter back to the lot, her arm curling around mine. “It’s so hard to pick.”

“If you can make a whole day of it, we can do more than one video.”

She got excited again. “Oh! That makes it easier! Let’s see. We need at least one savory dish and a dessert. Eddie, what’s your favorite food of hers?” She asked quickly, pointing at him with her other hand that held her dessert. 

And just like that, we moved on from the subject. Edward walked on the other side of me, cheerfully smiling to himself the rest of the way there as we continued to chat about food. 

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11/4/2019

Episode One-hundred-four: Hung up

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Episode One-hundred-four: Hung


At six in the morning, Edward kissed my forehead and whispered that he loved me before going to the studio. I blindly groped for his shirt, bringing him to me for a kiss. It was slow and sleepy, his fingers in my hair as he held his palm against my cheek. 

“I’ll go with you tomorrow,” I mumbled when I pulled away, pushing my hair out of my eyes. I didn’t open them, though. I wasn’t awake enough yet. Bouncing back into place rebelliously, I kept pushing, but my curls continued falling over my nose.  

“You don’t have to.”

“Mm, no. I want to,” I answered as I finally opened my eyes, stroking his cheek in return. His big warm green ones were practically glowing. I purposefully pouted. “Please? I want to.”

“I’d love that,” he smiled as he melted a little, his thumb skimming over my bottom lip. 

I pulled him to me for another kiss. His fingers went to my hair, holding it back at my temple. We made out for so long that his driver called him to let him know that she was outside waiting for him. Edward had never kept her waiting before.  

Laying in bed on my stomach, I watched the sun slowly rise after he left. It was beautiful, as always. I decided that I wouldn’t waste the day since I was awake anyway. First, I worked out before showering and having a quick breakfast.

As I sipped my coffee, I planned out possible dishes that I could cook for videos. I would let the men have their input in what they were interested in eating. Lauren too. By the time that I was done typing out the list, there were a hundred possibilities. And I could probably add a hundred more if given more time to think. I sent it to everyone, including Jasper. I wanted to make the food that he liked too when he came. Also, I encourage them to send me suggestions. I knew that I would never truly run out of ideas with them helping me. 

When I was done with that, it was time to start work on my serial killer research. It was honestly a little hard to narrow it down. There were so many choices. Seth had sent a list that he wanted to cover, so I sent him one in return. None of them really overlapped. We decided to just surprise each other and see how it went. 

I opted to do a murderer based out of Houston that I knew a little too well. The Candyman. A killer of children, he literally lured them in with sweets. And because they were mostly poor kids, the overworked Houston police department pretty much ignored them. It happened only about a decade before I was born, not far from where I lived. 

Then I chose to do one based out of Australia. This guy was called the Night Caller. His crimes happened in the fifties, and he was hanged for his many murders. My final choice would be a woman. They were so rare, it made them more interesting. I had always wondered if there were just less of them, or if women were just better at getting away with it. 

It only took me about three hours to type out all the basic facts that I would want to share about each. I sent it to Seth with the email titled, ‘this time on Serial Killer Story Time…’ I smirked to myself as I did. At least I knew that he would enjoy it. 

My phone rang, and I half expected it to be Seth, but it was from a number that I didn’t recognize. But it was out of Washington state, so I answered it right away.  

“Hello?” I said slowly. 

“Hi! Bella?” A deep male voice asked instantly in excitement. 

“Yes?” I responded. I couldn’t tell which of my relatives it was, but it certainly sounded like one of them. 

“Hi! It’s Embry, your cousin. I got your number from Jake. I hope that’s okay,” he continued nervously. 

“That’s fine! How- How are you?” I hadn’t talked to any other of my family members besides my siblings on my phone, and I felt really awkward. But I wanted to. I was standing in the kitchen, so I sat down at the island. 

He chuckled a little softly. “Can’t complain! Things have been good. Anyway, about why I called... So, when you came to visit, you said that you wanted to get a tattoo, right?” He began excitedly. 

I smiled. I already liked where this conversation was going. “Always.”

“Cool! Alright, so I drew up a few options for you if you want a fam tattoo. You’ve got a lot to choose from, actually. Just slightly different styles to customize it a little, you know. Everybody has something a bit different. I’ve also got the one that Billy and Jake both had done at the same time a few years back. I’ve drawn some for your man if he wants one, too. Eddie was talking about it.”

“Oh, wow!” I sputtered in surprise. 

“Anyway, I was wondering where a good place to send the pictures was, so you can check them out? I want to have time to design exactly what you want. I don’t know when you’ll visit again, and I want to be ready,” he explained to me cheerfully. 

My breath caught in my throat for a second as my fingers curled around my shirt’s collar anxiously. “Aw, Embry! You’re so awesome! Thank you! Is this your cell? I can text you all my information.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! Perfect! That’s great,” he replied almost in relief. “You’re welcome. Still thinking about filming it?” He enthusiastically asked. “I watched your tattoo video again. I love your ink. It makes me really excited to design something for you. You’ve got great taste, and I don’t want to disappoint you.” 

“Oh! Thanks!” I paused for a second as my cheeks filled with blood. It meant so much more when the compliment came from family. “That would actually be something that I might want to film for prosperity. For me, if anything else. Would that be okay with you?” I questioned. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable in any way.  
It was like I could almost see him shrug. “It won’t bother me none.”

“It’ll get a ton of attention for your shop,” I let him know immediately. “It’ll be positive attention, but still. Every place Eddie visit gets a bump.”

Embry laughed a little. “Hey! Free advertising! All it costs me is the ink!” He joked. “Sounds great to me.” 

I shook my head, making my hair bounce around my face. “Oh, no! We’ll pay you for your time and supplies.”

“Hell no!” He laughed again as if I was being silly. “It’s my gift to you. You’re my fam. La Familia. It’s what we do, babe,” he teased jovially. I smiled but shook my head again. 

“No, no, no! If Eddie pays you and we make it a video, he gets all the money back like twenty-fold. He’ll insist on it anyway. I know him,” I informed my cousin.  

He snorted softly. “Well, as long as I’m taking the white man’s money and not yours.” I laughed loudly at his taunting. Embry chuckled then got a little more serious. “He seems like a nice guy. I liked him. We all did.”

“He’s the best,” I informed him softly. 

“What is he doing today? I’m not keeping you from anything, am I?”

“Nah. I’m home alone today. He’s off filming a new movie. It’s his first lead.”

I could actually hear him get excited. “That’s so cool! Have you been able to go on set?”

“Yeah,” I laughed lightly. “It’s a little more boring than you expect if you’re not one of the people working. It’s always fun to watch him, though. Edward is a fantastic actor.”

“That’s so cool,” he repeated. I heard a ding in the background. “Oh! I gotta go. Got a customer. I hope to talk to you again soon, cuz,” he concluded brightly before we hung up. 

I sent Embry the information as soon as I got off the phone with him. It made me feel lighter for some reason. I ate lunch by myself with a smile on my face. I had a family, and they cared about me. They thought about impressing me. They didn’t have to worry about that, though.  

After working on pictures for a couple of hours while listening to music, I got a call from Jasper. It felt like a day of phone calls, but I was okay with that. I smiled as I answered. It was around his lunchtime. I wasn’t really surprised. 

“Hi, honey,” I started casually. 

“So, guess what our boyfriend sent me?” He spoke too loudly in a kind of high-pitched voice. He was being purposefully silly.  

“What’s that?” I asked dryly, almost as if I was bored. 

“I think you fucking know what he sent me, Isabella,” he jabbered rapidly, getting higher and higher. 

I had to purse my lips together. “You know better than to open his emails at work!” I laughed towards the end because I couldn’t help it. “Your boy is shameless and a little mean.” 

“I know,” he whimpered. “I know, I know. Ahhh… But I’m at lunch! I thought that I could handle it if it were more pictures. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Bella, have… have you seen it?” Jasper whispered like it was a secret. 

“No,” I scoffed right away. I intentionally made my voice high for him to be funny. “I don’t watch my shit with my clothes on. What the fuck are you talking about?” He laughed genuinely, surprised. “Did he just send you the footage of all six cameras in full, or did he actually edit it? What am I saying? He did both.”

Jasper whined loudly. “Oh, of course, he sent both. He gave me like five hours of you two fucking in many gorgeous cinematic angles. And dancing. Goddamn. Your ass, dove. Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he moaned quietly. “I’m seriously considering faking illness just to go home to watch all of it. Over and over again.”

“Do it,” I giggled wickedly. “I’ll keep you company while you masturbate. I want to watch.”

“Stop!” He laughed, jokingly scandalized. “Isabella!” 

“Aw. Why?” I pouted, twisting one of my curls around my finger as I grinned to myself. 

He sighed heavily and overly dramatic. “I can’t do that, and you know it,” he laughed more genuinely again. “Goddammit, Bella. You’re both terrible. I’m so horny right now. How am I supposed to focus? All I can think about the way your ass jiggles.”

“You said that you wanted some videos, and you sent him ours while he was working,” I reminded him with a smirk. 

“But he doesn’t have to keep punishing me,” he whined again, fake crying. “He’s so fucking cruel to me.” 

“I think that you like this kind of punishment,” I purred seductively. He legitimately groaned.  

“Dammit, woman,” he spoke in a surprisingly deep voice. I laughed loudly. He chuckled, too. “I love it. Will you dance like that for me?”

I bit my lip, my cheeks flushing as I thought about it. “I’d love to. Our boyfriend is turning into a bit of a hot mess, though. In his own words. He’s gone from almost timid to ‘let me set up the cameras while you get the strap-on,’” I joked.  

“HAVE YOU FILMED THAT?!” Jasper actually shouted at me. 

“No. Not yet,” I replied confidently. “Our next video will be titled ‘Eddie gets pegged from behind for the first time’ probably.” 

“Can you imagine?” He murmured. 

“Um, I don’t have to. If I suggested it, he’d do it tonight when he got home from the set.” I cleared my throat, putting on a bad Aussie accent. “No, I’m not tired at all! Let me just go set those up right quick, love.” He chuckled evilly. “Edward might be shy, but Eddie wants to be filmed fucking.”

“No, Edward isn’t shy. He’s quiet. Tony was a timid little bitch. He hasn’t been Tony in a while, though, I think. Eddie is a cunt, and sometimes I’d like to punch him in his pretty face,” Jasper spoke through playfully gritted teeth. “He’s a funny bastard, but boy, does he need a good smack.” 

“Wanna come spank him?” I deadpanned.

“ISABELLA! I can’t,” he faux-cried the last two words again. “Do you think that he’d like that?” He whispered. 

I snorted. “Um, probably. If not, you can spank me.”

“Goddammit.”

“Is that the video that you want next? Would you rather me spank him, or would you like Edward to take me over his knee?”

“I will hang up on you. Don’t think that I won’t just because you’re a lady,” he threatened flatly.  

“No, you won’t,” I answered alluringly. “You’re my gentlemen, and you’ll tell me that you’ll miss me before you go back to work and that you’ll think about me-”

“Oh, that was never in doubt,” Jasper interrupted. He sighed heavily. “I’ll miss you, my dove. I will undoubtedly think of you and that stupid cheeky cunt all day. I’ll talk to you this evening?”

Smiling to myself, I nodded. “Yes, you will. Have a good day.”

“I already am,” he remarked before he hung up. 

It was just after eight when Edward got off. He texted that he was on his way home and that he wanted to order some sushi for dinner if I hadn’t cooked. I didn’t because I was too busy working on photobooks and flirting. I had just finished several from Australia, making one for each of his sisters and their families; all of them together, just of the baby, and one just for Jasper and Edward’s eyes only. They were sent off to the printers. Washington State would be next. I couldn’t work on pictures anymore, though. For at least a little while.  

I was lying on the couch in his hoodie and my panties. Edward grinned when he saw me, covering my cheeks with kisses as he leaned over me. 

“Did you have a good day?”

“Yes! It was great. Very productive. We got a lot done. How was your day?”

“Really good. I was productive, too. I finished my research for the murder shows with Seth. And did you see the menu stuff?” I questioned as I played with the hem of his shirt.

“I did! God, it all sounds good,” he hummed loudly in pleasure. “I put some notes already. Mainly, ‘I want to eat this.’ And ‘can we also do this flavor, too?’”

“Perfect. That’s exactly what I want. I’ll check them out later,” I told him before I pulled him in for a kiss. He happily returned it. 

Edward pushed my hair out of my eyes as he had in the morning, leaning over me so that he was gazing down warmly into them. His nose skimmed across mine, and he sighed quietly. “You seemed to be feeling a bit better today.”

I sighed as well before I nodded, looking away from him. “I felt less useless.”

“You weren’t useless before,” he swore quietly, instantly frowning. 

“I know.” I shook my head. “It’s just-” He stopped me, making me look at him. Edward put his hand on my chin, holding it so that I would look in his eyes. He was silently pleading with me to believe him. 

“You’re doing a different kind of work. You’re still transitioning, and we’re just getting started. Don’t overthink it too much, okay?” He kissed my forehead. “There is no need to rush. I see that now.”

“Okay,” I smiled. 

Edward took a deep breath, pressing another kiss to my skin and letting it linger there. “You’re doing great.”

“You’re a fantastic cheerleader,” I teased him gently, my fingers running over his cheeks as I held him to me for just a second. He grinned at me sweetly. “Okay. Go get your laptop. I’m hungry. I want something with tempura.”


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11/1/2019

Episode One-hundred-three: Expectations

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Episode One-hundred-three: Expectations


When Seth and Tyler left, Edward stood in the foyer with his arms crossed and a slightly sour expression. He was obviously still a little drunk, his eyes glassy and his auburn hair everywhere. The food had helped, but he drank a lot more than I had, and it showed. 

“So, I think that we need to talk, Miss-”

His tone struck me wrong right away. “I think that you need to rethink your usage of the word ‘Miss’ if you want this to be a pleasant conversation,” I snapped back instantly. I was already in a bad mood after the phone call with Alice. His cheeks immediately went pink, and he was a little taken aback. He blinked a couple of times. We had never fought before, and he had never truly seen me angry at him.  

“Okay,” he started slowly. “I will start by apologizing for sounding like an asshole-” he mumbled out before waving a finger at me, pouting. “But why didn’t you tell me about your writing?!”

I crossed my arms over my chest, cocking my head to the side. “Just like you’re not obligated to tell me everything, I’m not either. It was a hobby that I had a decade ago. One that I wasn’t very good at. Why does it matter?”

Edward scrunched up his face in confusion. “Alice said that you won awards!” 

“What do the awards mean to you, Eddie? You have a Grammy, and it means fucking nothing. Nothing. It’s gathering dust on a shelf behind a dozen others. How often do you bring it up, huh? Someone on the internet thought that my stupid stories were a good time waster and made me a banner. Big whoop! It was lovely at the time, but that’s it. What do you want from me?”

He sucked in a deep breath through his nose, his cheeks getting red-hot. He looked sincerely offended. “Why do you always put yourself down?”

I didn’t understand his attitude. My fingers dug into my forearms, my nails sharp against my skin. “You haven’t even read it!”

“That’s not the point!” He replied quickly. 

I stomped my foot in annoyance. “Yes, it is! You shouldn’t assume that it’s quality because it’s by the woman that you’re getting some from.”

Edward’s eyes got huge. “You’re more than that! Christ!” He spat the last word, his jaw tight. “You’re going to be my wife!” 

I lifted my hands up, stopping him. “It shouldn’t matter if I am! Stop trying to boost my ego. I don’t need it, and I don’t want it. And I don’t like it!”

He licked his bottom lip, rubbing a palm over his forehead slowly. “This is not about your ego. This about knowing you. This about sharing things with you. Sharing our lives.”

Sucking in a deep breath, I tried to calm myself. There was a hollow ringing in my ears as my blood pressure began to rise. “You’re acting as if I hid it from you purposefully. I didn’t. I’ve mentioned in passing that I have written before.”

Edward made another face, pouting as I made a point. He looked very young at that moment, his frustration written all over his smooth features. “I thought that it was for like… English class or whatever.”

“So, it’s only interesting if it has over a million views?” I countered evenly as my hip cocked to the side. 

His chest puffed up as he drew in a sharp breath. “No! I’d want to read it even then! I just thought that I wouldn’t have handy dandy internet access to OVER A MILLION WORDS! How many novels is that, Bella? You’ve written novels. Novels,” he sounded out the word in aggravation. “Why wouldn’t you tell me that? That’s so cool!” He whined the last part, his pouty frown deep. 

“No, it’s not!” I snorted, shaking my head. I wondered what he thought I wrote about.  

“Bella, even if it’s terrible… Do you know how hard it is to string together one thousand words? Why would you keep this from me? This is literally jam.” He pointed towards his office. “This is what I do. I am a creator of stories. Why- Why wouldn’t you?” He finished brokenly. Edward was too drunk to argue his points as well as he wanted to. 

“Why would I show you something that I did when I was- what? Twenty-three or four? I’d feel like I was pulling out my crayon drawings.”

He flung his hands up, turning around for a moment to gather his thoughts. He whirled back to look at me. “I want to see those too! Don’t you understand!? I want everything! I want every single part of you! I want every scrap of paper, every memory. I want everything that you got! Good or bad! Crayon fucking drawings. Everything, baby!”

“I wasn’t hiding it!” I repeated steadfastly. 

“Then why did you get so mad at Alice?” His voice was getting a little more high-pitched as he got emotional. 

“Because that wasn’t hers to share!”

Edward huffed, closing his eyes for a moment. Annoyed and pouting, he still had his arms crossed over his chest. “Are there any other skills that you’re hiding from me? Hm? Professional cricket player on the side? Russian spy? Exotic belly dancer?” He asked very loudly and sarcastically. 

I looked at him like he was stupid for a long minute, just blinking. “Edward, I’m a dancer. You’ve literally recorded me dancing for you in the past twenty-four hours on six different cameras. I’ve taken multiple belly dancing classes just for fun.”

His face was crimson. “Yes! I realized that one was a stupid example as soon as it came out of my mouth,” he mumbled a little less sardonically, starting to smirk to himself. 

“Just that one?” I giggled. He laughed, looking away from me as he rubbed his hand over his face again. “Read it. I don’t care about that. Seriously. I wasn’t hiding it. It was a hobby, and nothing came of it.”

“Two million views feels like something.” 

“Is it something on YouTube?” 

Edward groaned softly. “Don’t compare us.”

I quickly shook my head. “I’m not. I’m asking a question.” 

He leaned his head back. When he looked at me, he shook his head again. “Not really,” he sighed. Edward looked up towards the ceiling, closing his eyes as if he was getting a headache. “I can read it, though? You won’t get mad at me if I do?”

I looked away from him, embarrassed by what we were doing. Drunk and bickering like children. “Of course not. I just… don’t want to know about it,” I whispered, my voice a little shaky. “Think of it like the videos. Feel free, just maybe not with me.”

My boyfriend frowned a little. “Can I talk to you about them?”

I shrugged as I bit my lip for a moment. “What is there to talk about?”

Scoffing, he sniffed hard through his nose as he returned my shrug a bit sarcastically. Edward took a moment to gather his thoughts, looking away from me again. “What if they’re good?” He asked more sincerely than I expected. He sighed once more. “What if I want to compliment your work? Can I do that without you getting upset about it?”

“Why don’t you read it before you even think about that and…” I shrugged again, hugging my arms over my chest as I looked down at my feet. 

He growled a little and tugged at his hair in frustration. “Why do you hate your art? You’re so talented!”

“I don’t! I like my pictures. Do you like everything that you’ve ever created?” I demanded to know. 

He ignored my question. “I don’t understand what’s different about your photos,” he admitted. “Bella, everything that I’ve seen you do, if you care about it, you do it well. I have no doubt that whatever I’ll read will blow me away and not because you’re my girl. I honestly want to see what you can do as someone in Hollywood.”

“Edward-”

He put his hand up. “No! Let me read them, and if they’re shit, I’ll never mention them again. Okay? But I’m not going to ignore your talent because I don’t ignore free money. I bet Zafrina-”

“No,” I said quickly. “Please don’t even threaten that.”

“It’s not a threat!” He laughed. 

I stomped my foot again, feeling tears starting to sting at my nose suddenly. “I can’t live up to these expectations, Edward! I’m going to disappoint you.”

He stopped, and his arms fell to his sides as he looked at me in confusion. “Do you think that’s even possible? There is no way that you could disappoint me, love.”

I shook my head. I just wanted to shrink away. “One day, you’re going to look at me and realize what a nothing I am next to you.” I began to cry. “That I can’t keep up. That I’m not smart or talented or-”

Suddenly I was in his arms, crushed against his chest as he hugged me to him. My fingers curled into his shirt, pressing my face into it as I sobbed.

“That’s not going to happen,” he breathed into my hair. “You are smart. You know how talented I think you are.”

“You just think that because you’re in love with me.”

“God, I wish that you saw what I did. I’m in love with you because you are those things!”

I continued to cry. “I’m going to disappoint everyone. You, Jasper, Jake-”

Edward promptly interrupted me. “I know that you’re struggling a lot with your self-worth because of your fam-” he paused and took a quick little breath. “Oh. Oh, this has everything to do with that and nothing to do with your abilities. I’m stupid. I shouldn’t be pushing this right now.”

Swiftly, I pushed away from him. His words stung for some reason. “You shouldn’t baby me because-”

“I’m not!” He cupped my cheek. “I’m not. I’m being a pushy asshole. I’m trying to shove my life onto you, and you obviously don’t want it right now. Too much has been happening.”

“I do want this with you, though. It’s all that I’ve ever dreamed about. I’m just scared, and my brain has been all over the place. I feel anxious all the time, and I know that I need more medicine, but I’d love to just dump them all down the sink because they’re part of what’s making me feel that way now! What if I take more or something different, and it does it again? Jasper says that I should take out the IUD if it worries me that much,” I babbled out, my words becoming more and more rushed as I did. 

“You should!” He agreed briskly. “If it’s keeping you from getting what you need, then yeah! You should!”

“I’m not ready to get pregnant!” I squeaked through my tears. “I can’t do that right now.” 

Edward lowered himself down a little to look in my eyes. “I’ll wear condoms!” He promised quickly, cupping my cheek again as he tried to wipe away my tears.

I laughed bitterly. “Do you know how thin my resolve is right now? You’re doing everything in your power to tempt me into having babies, and I’d love it just to spite your mother. Plus, Lauren and Vanessa are having kids. I am so goddamn jealous that it hurts! It hurts, Edward! I want to have a baby. I do. I really do. I want your babies. But I’m not ready. I’m not. I’m just not. And what if… we don’t even need the IUD? Hm? Or condoms? I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to handle that. Because I know that you want your own children-”

“I want whatever form of a family that I can get with you. Our children don’t have to come from our bodies. Hell, you want to adopt ten teenagers? Bring it. I don’t give a fuck. Our family is going to be weird as hell no matter what because we’ll be the parents, but they’ll be loved.” Edward paused once more. “Do you know how happy it makes me when you say that you want my kids, though?” He put his hand on his chest, puffing it out again, but this time as if he was full of joy. “It’s like medicine. It makes my heart just… better. I can’t explain it. I’m sorry that I’m rushing. I’m rushing everything. I’m just so psyched that I’ve found you now, and I’m ready to get started on the next part of forever with you. You told Jasper that he is my missing piece, but you’re wrong. It’s you. You’re our missing piece. I just want to put all the pieces together.”

I laughed a little lighter this time, shaking my head. “Just like your ass, this is not something that you can hurry along.”

Edward chuckled quietly at my comment, pushing his face in my hair as he brought me in closer again. “I know. Fuck. Sorry. Sorry,” he grumbled. His arms tightened around me. 

“So I started looking for a new therapist today,” I said in a joking tone. “Perfect timing, am I right?” 

“Maybe we should go together, too. This thing that we’re doing is complicated, and I want to make sure that you’re getting everything that you need. So much has happened between us and to us in such a short amount of time,” he spoke into my curls.

I tilted my head back to look at him. “How will you even have time to do that?”

He shook his head. “I’ll make the time, love. Hell, if I need to hire someone to come to us, I will. We’ll work it out. Don’t worry. And if you want to get the IUD out, I won’t say another word about kids until you tell me you want them. I’m a jackass for making you feel like you need it.” He laid his forehead against mine. “You’ve just had a health scare, and I can’t keep my hands to my bloody self.” 

“No. No, no. I feel like I need it because of me, not you. I’m sorry that I’m not ready,” I whispered. 

“Why would you be sorry for that?” He kissed my temple. “It’ll be your body. I’m just so ready to get this life we started going. It’s already so good. I can see the future in my mind, and I want it so badly. I want to be there with you. And with Jasper.”

“What do you see?” 

He hummed softly, resting his cheek on the top of my head again. “You. Me. Jasper. A big house somewhere sunny and beautiful. A yard full of our kids. Somewhere relaxing where we can play all day. Doing whatever we want.”

I snorted into his shirt. “Sounds like heaven.”

His strong arms tightened around me. “It’s going to happen. I’m going to make it. For you and me, and him. I’m going to make you both happy, and everything is going to be perfect.” 

I sighed heavily. “Honey, do you remember what I said about expectations and how sometimes we make ourselves unhappy-”

“I know.” He shook his head. “I just need it.” He sniffled into my hair. “I need that future to happen, love.”

I squeezed him back. “I’m going to try to give it to you. I promise.”

“You just have to be here. That’s all that I need from you. Just be here. Let me love you. I’ll make everything better, I promise.” His fingers knotted in my curls as he held me to him. He was rocking me a little in his arms. We stayed like that for maybe ten minutes. Finally, he breathed the words, “maybe drinking was a bad idea for today.”

I giggled, closing my eyes as I relaxed in his arms. “Yeah. Probably.”

“Seth’s Taco Bell is giving me heartburn,” he whispered, making me actually laugh. “Be right back. I need some Tums.” He slowly peeled himself away from me. 
“I took a pill earlier. I forget what it’s called. It’s a silver bottle, something seventy-five. I accidentally bought the minty kind, though.” I made a little face. He chuckled as he went into the kitchen to look at the medicine collection that he had in there. He found what I was talking about, quickly taking one with a glass of tap water. 

“What time is it?” Edward asked, looking at his watch as he leaned against the island. 

“Just after eight,” I replied automatically even though I knew that he had the answer in front of him. I could see it on the clock on the stove behind him. He nodded his head, hugging his stomach for a moment.  

“Do you just want to go to bed? I think that I’m done with today.”

I nodded in return, holding my fingers out to him. He hurried to me, taking them into his hand so that he could kiss my knuckles several times. I dragged my fingertips over his cheek, skimming over his plush pink lips. He smiled and leaned into them. 

Suddenly and surprisingly, he picked me like a princess. I squealed and laughed, precisely what he wanted to happen. My arms went around his neck. I laid my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes.

I was just going to let him love me and make everything alright. At least for the evening.  


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