Imperfectpictures

5/29/2019

Episode Twenty-Six: Tick-Tock

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Episode Twenty-Six: Tick-Tock

The following day, Monday, I woke up early to go to the gym for a couple of hours and then to go practice with Demetri. I took an expensive Uber ride just not to take two hours on the train to get to him and then back home again. We would only get another practice in together before the day of the show, but neither of us was too worried about it. We were good together, and it was just for charity anyway. We had been dance partners before and knew how to move with one another. It was like riding a bicycle practically.

I came back home before eleven to shower. I had a Culture for All meeting with Alice and the other office workers and leaders mid-afternoon, so I had to get ready for that.

It was too cold to go out with wet hair, the threat of snow in the forecast once again. It had threatened several times but had not yet appeared much to my disappointment. I gave myself a nice blowout and straightened my curls with a big round brush. It had been a long time since I had gone to one of these things, so I decided I wanted to look good. I put on some of my new clothes and applied some of the makeup Edward had given me. I even put on a new perfume. I was definitely feeling myself.

Edward called just before noon.

“You're up early,” I answered as I gathered my bag and keys from the hook by the door. Patty screamed at me, wanting fresh water since she put something in her bowl. It looked like a hairband.

“Not too early,” he said happily.

“You must have slept well,” I commented as I refreshed the princess kitty's water. I scratched her head, making her meow and purr as she made biscuits on the tree.

"I did, indeed. So, what are you up to?"

I glanced back at the clock. I was doing okay on time. “I'm going to go to a lunch meeting for CfA in a bit.”

"Oh, can I come?" He asked, charmingly.

I chuckled, “sure. They'd love to meet you. But you better hurry, I'm walking out the door right now,” I told him as I locked the front door behind me. I decided to take the stairs down. I hated the elevator. “We're having Brazilian.”

“That sounds great. I'm starving. Wait for me. I'll be there in a second,” he teased me.

“Alright, I'll wait for you by the front door. I've got to order a car anyway. It's too cold to wait for a subway,” I complained. “Fucking climate change. Here, let me call you back in a second so I can do that.”

“Okay,” he said sweetly.

I hung up so I could order the car while walking through the lobby of my building. It was decorated for Christmas already, a few trees scattered about with a lot of lights. I liked it. I stood against the old bricked up fireplace while I waited the short few minutes for my car to arrive. I would call him back once I got in the warm vehicle, I decided. When it was getting close on the app, I stepped out front.

“You are right. It is too cold," Edward said from beside the door at the bottom of the three-step stoop. His nose was red, and his face paler than usual. He was wearing a heavy woolen black peacoat with a sweater underneath that, dark jeans and big heavy hiking boots. He was also wearing a black beanie completely over his ears.

I literally screamed.

And then I jumped on top of him like a spider monkey.

We kissed deeply, his arms holding me up in the air as I struggled to grasp onto his neck. The driver for my Uber called from the window to ask if we were the one who ordered him. I hadn't even said anything to Edward yet. I couldn't. I slid down from our embrace.

“Yes, we are,” Edward answered for me as he led me towards the car door with his hand on my back. I felt dizzy.

“You said the twenty-first!” I finally said when we were moving in the vehicle.

“I did. But... one of my meetings for Tuesday got canceled last night, so I decided to flake on what I needed to do today. It wasn't that important. That meeting was, but they rescheduled for next month. So, I decided to take a flight out last night last minute."

“What time did you fly?”

“Around ten last night. I got here around seven this morning. I went ahead and checked into my hotel so I could get cleaned up. I didn't want to ambush you that early,” Edward laughed happily.

“I wasn't at home anyway. I was probably already in Brooklyn. It's already been a long day for both of us. Longer for you. Oh, my God, I can't believe you're here.” I grabbed both of his hands.

“Oh, wait,” he pulled a little square box from his pocket, still holding my other hand. “I brought you a gift.”

“Now, you really didn't need to do that,” I told him as I bit my lip and took the box from his gloved hand.

I opened it, and it was a set of stunning light green square cut earrings. "I'm told these are peridots and that they are an interesting gem because they only come in one color. Did you know there were green sapphires and diamonds?"

"Sapphires and diamonds come in a bunch of colors. When I was a kid, we went digging for diamonds in Arkansas. They find brown diamonds there a lot," I informed him as I put in my new earrings. I hadn't put any jewelry on. "I love them. Thank you," I said sincerely. They were so lovely. They reminded me of his eyes in the early morning sun. I felt cheesy for thinking it.

“You're welcome. You can dig for diamonds?” He asked, confused by my previous statement.

"Yup, and it's fun because you play in mud then you can go to the water park afterward. They till up the soil every once in a while, and someone finds a karat or two. It's just a big mud field around the Ozarks," I rambled nervously.

“Really? That does sound like fun,” he smiled, bring my knuckles to his lip to kiss lightly. “You look so beautiful. I'm so happy. Is it really okay if I come along though? I understand if not.”

“Um, yes! Absolutely. There will probably be another spouse or two there. Probably a kid, too. You just have to buy your own dinner,” I teased.

Edward bit his lip. “Hm, I think I can handle that.”

Kebi, the office manager, was already at the restaurant as well as three of the main leaders. Two were a couple, deep in their own conversation, and the other brought her newborn with her. There were ten main leaders in all, the five full-time staff members, and Alice was, of course, the last to show up. In all, there were over twenty people at the table.

I sat beside Kebi and Nicole, the leader with a baby boy. Kebi had stolen the baby and decided to keep him as her own. I was down for this plan, cooing over the child while my co-workers fawned over my boyfriend. They asked him dozens of questions as we waited for Alice to get there. We had known each other for so long that we were all nosy about each other’s personal lives. They would do it to any fresh meat in the group.

Alice was unraveling her winter clothes in a rush as she came clicking in heels. “I know. Sorry, sorry, I'm late. I know. I'm... me. I don't have an excuse.”

“Don't say you're sorry. Say thank you for your patience,” Kebi reminded her in a thick Jamaican accent. She always sounded annoyed to those who didn't know her. She wasn’t. She was bouncing the baby on his shoulder cheerfully.

“We lost all patience years ago,” I smirked at Kebi.

“I know that's right.” She lightly fist bumped me because the baby was still in her arms. It was very gentle.

“Some of us aren't anal assholes who have to be thirty minutes early to-” she stopped when she realized who was beside me.”Hey... You're new. I know you.”

Edward stood up to hug her. She giggled like an idiot as he complimented her wild black hair. "A couple of my sisters have black hair right now. They get theirs from a bottle, though. Of course, they're still lovely," he chuckled charmingly. Every woman and gay man in the group was visibly swooning disgustingly over him. Except for Nicole, who was too tired.

Alice found a seat, and we ordered drinks finally. Almost everyone got up to go get something from the salad bar all at once.

“I'll hold the baby while you go get your food,” I offered Kebi. Nicole was already taking her chance to go get some food without the infant. No one could blame her.

“No, I don't mind. You can go,” she told me firmly.

“I'll give him back.”

“No, you won't.”

"I will. He'll start crying at some point," I promised her. She pursed her lips at me, and we gave each other a stare down. She looked at the salad bar then back to me.

"I want him back," Kebi said as she passed the sleeping child to my waiting arms. He was tiny, less than two months old. He had full lips and a small nose, his eyes bright blue. His brown hair was fanned straight out over his forehead. He had so much hair.

He yawned and stretched his little fist out from his blanket bundle. It made my baby time clock ring with delight. Ding dong, bitch. Don’t you want one?

Edward watched from over my shoulder. He lightly kissed my cheek. “I'll go get us something to share.”

“Thank you,” I smiled, bumping my forehead against his.

The meeting was about the trips we were taking in the next year and who wanted to be in control of each. They had already figured out the where and the timing of each trip. I held the baby for half the meal, Edward cutting my meat for me since I only had one hand. The baby woke up though, and Kebi snatched him away, happy to take him while he was cooing and contented.

I agreed to be a co-leader on two of the trips. One to Ireland in the Summer for a week and a short four day one to Disneyland in the early fall. Edward was full of questions about how everything worked.

"So... Say I wanted to donate some money. Could I... sponsor a trip? Like, pay for the whole thing? Or does it not work like that?" He asked Alice. She was more than happy to explain. This was her baby, and she could talk about it for hours.

"We've never had anyone do that, but I don't think it's impossible. It just takes a long time to plan everything. Normally everything goes to one account then we spread it out as needed. We have had certain businesses sponsor classes, but usually, they're giving their time and the supplies for the class."

“What sort of classes do you do?”

“We do a lot of child care classes, CPR, first aid. Stuff like that. We do some art, dance, photography, and cooking, too. Bella has taught a few of those,” she motioned towards me. I had gotten the baby back since Kebi was getting dessert. I was leaned into Edward's side, enjoying feeding the baby from its small blue bottle. The child was holding onto his finger as he casually chatted away. “We need to figure out what you want to do next year,” she told me.

Tick-tock.

Thank God I had gotten birth control.

“I'm not sure what I can commit to right now,” I told her honestly. “I think I'll just do trips this year so I can focus on my photography.”

“I kind of figured,” she nodded. We had discussed the possibility before.

“We could do some day camps this year, maybe,” I suggested.

“That art camp was fun last year,” she agreed with me.

“It would be great if we could do a kid's cooking camp,” I mused out loud as I rocked the baby back and forth a little. “I could get local chefs to come in and teach. I could teach them how to make pasta. We could definitely catch something on fire.”

Alice laughed, and Edward chuckled before kissing my hair.

“Shall I donate towards fire extinguishers?” He teased me.

“Maybe,” I grinned.

“Write up a proposal for the class and see if you can get some chefs interested. Spring break or Summer?” Alice asked me, typing into her phone.

“Let's do summer, before the Ireland trip,” I decided. I didn't want to rush to plan it.

“I wish I could come with you to Ireland. I could go see my grandparents,” Edward smoothed my hair away from my cheek. “You could meet them in person.”

“Well, you are more than qualified to volunteer,” Alice told him. “All you have to do is fill out some paperwork and get endorsed by a qualified person-” She pointed at me.

“Yeah, of course,” I brought the baby up to my shoulder with a napkin on it. The little boy was struggling to put his head up and look at Edward as I tried to burp him. He gently wiped the baby's chin, smiling brightly at the baby. He was trying to smile back, but only for short spurts.

Tick. Fucking. Tock.

“And there you go,” Alice replied. “If you're really interested I can put you on the list as one of the helpers. Bells can show you the website online to fill it out.”

“That's it?”

The baby burped loudly.

“This is an abled adults trip. Meaning it's adults who have issues that make it harder to travel, but they're still able to care for themselves. We're basically sheepdog trying to herd them and keep them from breaking things," I explained to him with a laugh. "Mainly themselves. You don't need any special training for that. You're just a helper."

“Would we get time to see them?” He asked me. “My grandparents?”

“They could come to anything we did. Museums. Gardens or whatever. And we can stay on our own dime after the trip is over. We just don't get our flights back paid for,” I explained.

“Sven and I are going to go to Saint Petersburg after the trip we're doing together,” Kebi chimed in, cutting into her chocolate cake.

“Sven, her husband, is Russian and he is actually paler than you somehow,” Alice told Edward sarcastically. He smirked at her teasing.

"He's so white," Kebi shook her head. "We went to Trinidad for my mother's birthday, and I think he got paler, somehow. He went to the beach for three days, and it just bleached him. My children are going to look like Casper the ghost." Her 'the's came out as ‘dahs,' and ‘three’ sounded like ‘tree.' I loved listening to her. She had a great voice.

She took the baby from me. Nicole was glad to have a break. She was half, or maybe entirely, asleep against Alice's shoulder. She was using Kebi's jacket as a blanket.

"You'll have one dark kid like you and one light one, and they'll have the weirdest Jamaican Russian accent from New York, and I cannot wait," Alice laughed. "And I'll be their cool aunt."

“Who gives them weed when they're sixteen,” I teased her.

“I am the cool aunt.”

"It won't be cool by the time they're old enough. It'll be legal everywhere, and it'll be stuffier than wine because all the old people smoke it for medicine," Edward said. "I use it for my insomnia, and I honestly thought my first time would be a lot cooler when I was in school. But, I was extremely uncool as a teen, so nothing has changed."

“Oh, please. You're the coolest person in this room. You have literally millions of fans that scream your name. I’ve seen them. I’ve heard them. They love you because of how cool you are.” I rolled my eyes. “False modesty is a filthy habit.”

“Be careful not to cut those pretty lips with that sharp tongue of yours,” he said with a charming smirk. His hand squeezed my thigh under the table. I brushed my nose over his cheek and gave him a light peck on his jaw. Both of us were smiling stupidly at each other.

“You like it,” I purred in his ear.

“Maybe a little,” Edward conceded.

“Maybe a lot,” Alice teased him. She was giving me look over her wine glass. I returned it with a smirk of my own. “So, are you going back to the apartment after this? I have to go back to the office. Fucking paperwork.”

"I don't know. We haven't talked about it. Eddie has a hotel room so at the very least I'll have to get some clothes if I stay with him," I answered. His hand squeezed my knee gently. The crowd was down to just Alice, Kebi, Nicole, and us. The waiters had already cleaned the tables and were starting to move them back to their usual spots.

“We can do whatever you please. I'm just happy to be here. I know you have things you have to do.” He kissed my palm then pressed it to his soft cheek.

After we finally woke up Nicole, we caught a cab to go back to the apartment. It was just after four, and the sun was already starting to go down.

“There is something we need to talk about,” I began once we were settled in the back of the car. “I wasn't going to bring it up but since you're here, it kind of changes things.”

“I hope it wasn't a bad thing that I came,” he said, genuinely worried.

"No. It's great. I just... I haven't wanted to talk about it or think about it. But, tomorrow is Aiden's birthday," I explained quietly. "I wasn't going to bring it up at all, but I go to the cemetery, and I usually spend the day with his family."

“Oh...” he drew out. “I'm sorry. It must be hard on those special days.”

“I haven't called his mom yet. I've been feeling guilty,” I admitted pathetically.

“We can go to the cemetery tomorrow. Or, you can go alone if you need to. I would understand either way,” he said warmly.

“I would like it if you came. If you're not uncomfortable with that.”

"Of course, I'll come." Edward pulled me into a tight hug. I relaxed into his grip, pressing my face into his thick wool peacoat. "Would you like to see his family as well?"

"I think I might just call this year. I don't know," I sighed in frustration at myself. "I should, but I don't know if it would make it harder for them. Or, for me. They're great, it's just... so much. They're always...” I didn't know how to finish my uneven thoughts.

“We can do whatever you need to do,” he promised me.

“Is it going to be hard for you?” I asked.

“How so?” Edward pulled back to look at me.

“I love Aiden. I still love him. I will love him until the day I die. That won't ever change. No matter what I feel for you now or in the future.” These were facts I couldn't get around.

“I would never ask you to deny that either. It was very unfair what happened to you. Look into my eyes. Trust me. You're not going to scare me off.” He stroked my hair sweetly.

“That's not fair to you.” I shook my head.

“How?” He lifted up my chin to look into my sad eyes. “No. Just... no. Don't even think about that. I'm not going to be jealous of someone who loved you so well.”

"I'm going to cry in front of you tomorrow. Like, actually cry. Not overly emotional in Target, crying," I warned him. "It's not going to pretty. Or nice. Or, sexy. Or, quick."

"We'll stop to get tissues. And chocolate. And wine. And, whatever else you may want or need."

"I took tomorrow off because I've been a mess in the past. I don't feel as emotional as I have been but..." I shook my head again. "I have survivor's guilt," I said bluntly. "I've always struggled with it. With my mom, then my grandmother some. I recognize it, and I understand why I feel it, but it doesn't change the fact that it's there in the background. It's one of those fun things about PTSD. You... this... right now helps, though. You're what I need. You’re what I want, Edward.”

I had never said out loud to him that I suffered from PTSD. Though I suppose he probably could have guessed from the spurts of life story that I had thrown at him. As he had once said, so much had happened to me.

Edward held my face and kissed me softly, holding me quietly the rest of the ride home.

I led him inside the black and white checkered lobby, taking us into the tiny ninety forties elevator. He held my waist, my back against his chest. We were silent as I opened the heavy brown metal front door.

Patricia shrieked when I came in from her position on top of the cat tree. I lifted my hand up to her, but she flopped so I couldn't pet her. I flipped her off, making Edward laughed. He easily reached her and rubbed on her belly. She mewed and purred, whipping her tail happily around her.

“You slut,” I complained, pushing one of the folding doors to my room open.

“She's so fat and fluffy.”

“That's because Alice feeds her chubby ass waffles. She begs worse than a dog.” She hopped down from her cat tree. “No. You don't get to go into my room. Go to your mama’s.”

I ushered him into my room and closed the door behind us. Patty batted her paw under the door, practically giving me the finger back for the disrespect of not being allowed to poke holes into my couch like she wanted to.

I always kept my room neat, but I had been nervously cleaning and rearranging since he confirmed was coming to town. I had made new curtains and gotten new blankets and sheets for my little bed. He went to the window to look out at the skyline. I came up from behind and hugged my arms around his waist. I pressed my face into his back, breathing his scent in deeply.

Edward turned in my arms so that he was facing me. “I like your room.”

"Thank you. It's not as impressive as say a five bedroom three bathroom McMansion with a pool and a waterfall in Burbank. But I like it."

“You want different things from a home in New York,” he said with fake seriousness. “The real estate market is very different. But, I'd trade my pool for that view,” he nodded at the window. “And to be closer to you.”

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Next: Episode 27