(IPFF) Episode Thirteen: Tears in Target

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Episode Thirteen: Tears in Target

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As Edward checked the weather on his phone, the lights came back on. It wouldn't stop raining, but it wouldn't be as bad for a couple of hours. The worst was still yet to come, several hours later in the night. We decided it would be for the best if we just went to the Target, which was the closest store to his house. It would have everything we would need. It was only a few minutes away. 

He held my hand, and at every red light, he would bring it up to kiss my knuckles.  

Edward bought us some coffee and muffins from the cafe as we shopped. First, we grabbed bottles of water and an absurd amount of candles and flashlights. Next, we went through the food aisles, mainly picking out junk food that didn't need to be cooked or refrigerated. We also bought some fruit, so not to be totally unhealthy.

The beer and wine that Edward bought were counterproductive to that. 

“I need to probably get some more clothes and use your washing machine,” I told him thoughtfully. “Do you have soap?” He looked a little baffled by the question.  “Nevermind,” I rolled my eyes and went to the laundry aisle and bought everything I would need for that. He obviously didn't wash his own clothes.

We walked towards the women's clothing. In my head, I tried to do some math. I had spent hardly any of the money for the past week but now that I was spending another week there, what could I spend on clothes? Or, on makeup? I could use a few things. I was going to get paid, but not yet. I hadn't scheduled anything the week after anyway because I thought I would be working on editing and recovering so I had prepared for that money-wise.

I wasn't good at doing math, in my head or otherwise. I genuinely hated numbers. Alice did all of my math homework in school, and I did all of her English. Which is funny considering she now wrote for fun. Usually porn.  

I pulled out my phone and decided to check my bank account. I could probably manage to spend a hundred, I figured. If I did it right that could get me a few things. I was a pretty good shopper.

“You look concerned. Everything okay?” Edward asked curiously.

“Yeah, just trying to think of what I can spend on clothes,” I told him honestly.

“Love, get whatever you want,” he said without hesitation.

“Um, no,” I shook my head at him as I typed in the password. “That's not how that works.”

"I'll buy-" He started, but I put my hand up to stop him. 

“No. You won't.”

I was finally connected and almost hit the floor. I had not checked the balance in perhaps a week, but I hadn't used anything but cash either. I gasped and literally clutched at my chest as my heart tried to beat out of my chest. I felt as if I was going to hyperventilate.  

“What?” Edward seemed even more panicked now.

“This can't be right. I had like five hundred in here.” I shook my head over and over again. I was dizzy.

“How much do you have now?” Edward looked over at the screen. 

"Nearly three thousand!" I almost shouted, waiting impatiently for the transaction screen to load, tapping it over and over again with my thumb. It was taking forever because of the storm. When it finally did, I saw 100.00 about a dozen times in a row from the production company name Edward worked under, Midnight Sun Productions. Then I had around a thousand dollars from my weekly payment from my website. It was the most I had ever made at once from the site. I never counted on it for anything. It was just a pleasant bonus if I sold something. After that, it was just 100.00 again. I covered my mouth. Edward looked over my shoulder at the screen.

“Oh, the first video with you uploaded Saturday. One of the food tasting ones,” he explained calmly once he saw the name on the screen. “That's why.”

“That's too much.”

He laughed softly at my wide-eyed reaction, “I told you I gave you the standard rate I give all the people in my videos. I don't even look at the money part, honestly. Some program gets it and divides it up. It's only like four percent.” My jaw dropped. “And this is for only one video. There is going to be another one today in... a couple of hours?” He looked at his watch. “So, you might want to up it from a hundred to five hundred. Or, maybe a thousand. That seems annoying.” He pointed to my phone and all the ones and zeroes. He acted as he dealt with it every day. Because he did. Obviously.

I actually started crying. Just out and out sobbing in the middle of the empty Target.

“Oh Lord Jesus, first day and I've already made you bawl.” He hugged me tightly to him. I pushed my face in his chest.

“It's so much,” I pressed my face into his chest.

“No, it's not,” he tried to soothe me.

“I'm poor. This changes my life. I can pay next month's bills right now and pay something off six months early. And, I can put money in savings and still buy me my first pair of new shoes in a year. A damn year! And I have like five hundred in my pocket that I can just spend and not worry. Do you know how hard it is to just constantly scrape by?” I was nearly yelling towards the end.

I had stunned him into silence. 

"No, I don't. I am very privileged, I know. I grew up comfortable, and I've never had to struggle," he replied simply. 

I looked up at him. I was actually shaking. I looked back at my phone and on the spot transferred a thousand into savings and my part of the next month's bills to my best friend. By the time I was done, my account had increased by another ‘100.00’.

“You seriously give your friends this much?” I questioned as we began to walk again. 

Edward shrugged, a little confused by my question. "Yeah. I mean, it's no skin off my back. And it makes everyone happy. I've never actually discussed it really in numbers with anyone. Though I give my family more. Just so you know." 

“No,” I laughed halfheartedly. “Let's not jump that far yet.”

He chuckled, “fair enough.”

When we got to the clothes, I went straight to clearance.  

“All that and you still shop in the clearance section?” He teased me. “Honestly, I'm buying it.”

“Just because it's clearance doesn't mean it's not cute. Besides, I'm tiny tiny. All the little stuff stays in clearance forever usually.” I pulled out a small cute tee shirt with rainbows on it for four dollars and put it in the cart. “And, you're not buying shit.”

"Fine…" He drew out before he decided to change the subject. "Can you shop in the girl's section?" He asked, sincerely but quietly. Like it was naughty to ask. 

“The shirts. Especially plus sized girls. Not in pants though. My ass is too big. I could probably wear plus sized girl leggings,” I thought out loud. I pulled out a cute pair of shorts with lace at the bottom. I would need to try this stuff on. “Juniors is my sweet spot.”

“What's your actual height? I've wanted to ask but not be rude. I'm six foot five, by the way.”

"I know," I laughed a little hysterically. My emotions were everywhere. "It's hard to miss. I'm five foot even. I used to wear heels always and lie. Say I was five foot four. Which is... just sad. Aiden used to say I made him feel tall. He was only five six," I said with a slight smile on my face as I looked through the dresses. A flash of guilt and sadness washed over me. "I'm sorry. This is weird. But, he would have liked you, though." 

"I think he might have had a problem with how I feel about his wife," he said with a small, sad smirk.  

“Oh, you'd be surprised,” Edward raised an eyebrow in my direction at my words. “He wasn't jealous. He was very generous.”

“Take my wife, please,” he said it in a Groucho Marx voice.

"If he knew I wanted it as well, absolutely. And he would have told me to have a good time and tell him all about it later. We were friends, and he just wanted me to be happy. He would have wanted to be your friend, though. He'd like your taste in food and video games. Liked your house and your book collection. He would have watched your videos. He liked Youtube very early on," I explained to him as I thought about my Aiden. "He'd be annoyed I've waited so long to move on. He used to tell me all the time I was wasting my youth on being an old woman. It'll be his birthday soon. He'd be forty-four." 

"Why did he say that?" He asked, curiously. "You don't seem like an old woman to me." 

"I grew up really quick, and it made me hard. Perfect for New York," I joked, "I was really bitter when I met him. I'm still pretty hard now, I think, but... he made me a more gentle person. He made me softer. Aiden made me better." I wiped a random tear away from my cheek. I didn't want him to see it. 

“He sounds like someone I would have liked,” he said very warmly.

I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “I'm so sorry. This must be so awkward. I don't know how to deal with this. I've never done it before. I'm going to scare you away with this.”

"It doesn't bother me. It's not awkward. You loved someone. That's good. I'm glad you were happy, even if it didn't last as long as you deserved. I'm grateful to him, and I wish I could take away your pain. I don't want to replace him, I couldn't imagine trying. But, I do hope that one day you feel even a small amount of what you did for him for me," he said softly to me, standing in the middle of the clearance section of Target. My eyes began to tear up heavily again. "Dammit," he half laughed and rubbed my cheek with his thumb. "You're going to make me emotional." 

“I'm not usually a crier,” I admitted. I hated crying in front of anyone. It made me feel weak.

“I am,” he warned, making me giggle. I pressed my face to his chest again. I took several deep breaths to calm myself down.

"I do already, by the way," I admitted to him. "Feel at least a percentage of what I felt. It's the first day, let us not rush things. But I do like you a lot." 

"Right. No rushing," he agreed before kissing me. Lightning crashed outside, shaking the building. "We should probably keep an eye on the time and weather, though."  

I picked out several outfits to quickly try on. What I liked and fit I threw into the cart and hurried into the bras and panties. I needed those most of all. 

I got a couple of cute sets in lace and one in satin. I also got a few cute pairs of panties with different cartoons or designs on them. As I walked towards the pajamas, Edward was being very quiet. When I looked at his face, his cheeks were fiery red.  

“Want to make any suggestions?” I asked him with an innocent smile. “Comments? Anything?”

“Oh.. oh.. um,” he stammered. “I mean, you should wear what you want and like. It's not for me.”

"Of course, but if you see something you like, I don't mind. No one will see them, but you." 

"That one please," he quickly pointed the rack beside us with a very lacy neon pink demi-cup bra with a matching pair of boy shorts. The second one on the stand was my size. I put it in the cart and turned back to the night clothes. "Yay," he said quietly behind me with a silly little clap, purposely to make me laugh. "Best day ever.” 

I smiled to myself as I picked out a couple of cute nightgowns. Next, we went to the shoes. I quickly found a cute pair of three-inch black heels just in my size. I kicked off my shoes and tried them on. It had been years since I had worn any. They fit just right. They also had them in red, and they were only eight dollars a pair, at seventy-five percent off. I put them both in the cart. I also got a new pair of converse that I think probably were for kids, but I didn't care. I was a sucker for funky designs, and they had stars all over them. They kind of matched my foot tattoos. 

"I need to get some cosmetic stuff, and we should get some supplies from the pharmacy,” I said the last part very quietly.

“Right. Good idea. Those condoms are probably about to expire anyway. I got them right before I broke up with my ex last year. They're Australian condoms. ”

I looked him dead in the eye. “Do you put them on counter-clockwise?”

“Har har,” he laughed and poked at my side. “You're a riot, you are. Right full of piss.”

We went through the pharmacy first and got a big mix pack of condoms. It was a rather ambitious box for a week-long visit. We also got three different kinds of lube because we couldn't decide and he just tossed them all into the cart. He snorted at my idea for an ‘Eddie tries lube’ video. 

“Well, this one is... slippery...” I mimicked his accent as I picked through the baskets of clearance makeup that took up one end cap. It was actually a pretty decent selection. 

“This one is... smells like a cherry lollie for some reason,” he joked. 

“Oh, my god! This one burns! Why does it burn?!” I said dramatically, still with the accent.

He laughed very loudly. An older woman walked by from another aisle and gave us a dirty look. I smiled at her widely as I literally tossed a mascara over my shoulder into the cart. Edward turned away to hide his giggles. I could be a ham when I wanted to be as well.

I ended up getting mascara, eyeliner, a blush palette, a highlighter stick, and a few pairs of eyelashes for next to nothing. I was very pleased. I grabbed a couple of cheap matte lipsticks and an eyeshadow pallet that had a couple of dozen shades in it as well. I wasn't sure how good any of it was, but it would be fun to experiment again.  

When we got to the checkout, I went ahead and put all the clothing, makeup, and shoes I had picked out for myself and put them on the belt. I put the divider at the end and gave him a look daring him to argue with me.  

“You're silly.” He kissed my cheek and put his liquor on the belt behind the partition. 

“No, I'm not. It's important to me.” I pulled my debit card from my wallet. “Free food is one thing. You have to eat, too.”

"I understand that. But I want to." He pulled a couple of candy bars from the shelf behind us and tossed them onto the belt. "You're staying for me." 

"And, that's sweet. It really is. You've already bought me a ton of stuff this week though, and you're buying all of that. I want to buy these things for me. I haven't in years. Buy the food. I got this." 

“Alright. But, let me know if you need anything.” He kissed my temple and rubbed my shoulder.

When I was all rung up, it was just under three hundred for all my things. I was pleased with my haul. 

A restaurant in the same shopping center was still open, and we ordered a ton of Japanese food to-go. We sat by the window drinking hot green tea from a silver pot, watching the rain while we waited. It was so relaxing.  

The weather got worse just as we pulled into his garage. I hurried the cold food in the fridge and put our hot food in the turned-off oven so it would stay warmer longer then helped him bring in our enormous amount of bags. I threw mine on the bed in the spare room, and when I did, I grabbed my camera for later. I sat it on the coffee table.   

We put away the groceries together and laid out all the candles, lanterns, flashlights, batteries, and lighters. I put the big batteries in the lanterns first. "You should put one in your room and one in the bathroom now," I told him as I put one on the coffee table. I put a large candle the dining table with a lighter, another on the stove. I lined smaller candles along the ledge below his television, and one on each end table. I scattered lighters about. There were still three dozen candles, two bags of tea lights, and several lighters on his breakfast bar. If the lights were going to go out again, we were ready for it. 

"So, I canceled shooting for tomorrow and arranged it for later this weekend. All I have to do tomorrow is a little editing now," he explained as he looked down at his phone at a text. It vibrated in his hand, and he typed quickly before storing it back in his pocket. "The power is out over at Seth's. Tyler's just came back on." 

The power went out again as the wind slapped rain against the window. I jumped and clutched the bar.

“If there is electricity you'll do a little editing,” I said. I could see just well enough from the light from the windows to light the candles on his mantle without burning myself. It was just then dusk, gray and lonesome. He turned on one of the lanterns and helped me light the rest of the room. Soon it was lit with a romantic glow. 

“What shall we do?” He asked, placing his hands on my hips from behind as he observed our handiwork. 

“Have a glass of wine and a joint then eat our sushi by candlelight while listening to music on my phone and watching the rain?” I offered smoothly. It's not like it was the most relaxing thing I could have possibly imagined or dreamed of. I seemed like the kind of day to fulfill fantasies.

"Oh, sounds perfect," he agreed, turning to go get his stash of rolled joints from his room and an ashtray. After turning on the playlist that I downloaded to my phone, I got us two lighters and picked a bottle of wine for us to share from the ones he had just bought. It was still cold. He popped the cork and got the glasses.   

I picked up my camera and took several pictures. Of the table, the candles, the rain on the glass doors. Edward poured me a glass of wine. I took his picture as he brought my drink. He was wrapped in the most beautiful halo of light.

“You look like the cover of a Harlequin novel,” I teased him. He looked at the picture and made a little face.

“My shirt would be off for that.”

“Later,” I said in a silly voice while I stroked his abs. He giggled like a ticklish two-year-old and jumped back a little in surprise at the unexpected touch. He almost sloshed the wine out of the glasses. It was stupidly cute.   

We laid out on his big brown comfortable couch. It could be a bed for two easily. We propped in one corner with pillows and a corner table for our ashtray and drinks. We took turns smoking while I looked at the pictures on my camera. Edward had his arm around me and looked on silently. It was something we had never done before but felt totally natural. I fit perfectly against his side.

"You're so talented," he said after probably the five hundredth picture. These were just back at the beach the night before. I had so many on my SD card. These were the originals, but I had uploaded digital backups in a couple of places, just in case. I was too paranoid about losing the pictures or camera not to. I realized that I hadn't had a nightmare at all that week.  

“Thank you,” I kissed him lightly on the cheek. 

He looked incredibly sexy when he smoked. The smoke billowed and curled from his lips as he blew out. The smoke lingered in the air, illuminated by candlelight. If I thought I could catch it in a picture, I would have tried. 

We were quiet for a long time, lost in our own thoughts. It had been quite the day.

"What would we have done if I had to fly out today? I'd be back home by now." I looked at my phone to check the time after I put down my camera on the side table. I sipped my wine slowly as I tried to imagine a different universe where I had gone home. It was probably the real one. I probably went into a coma somehow in the middle of the night, and this is the scene my brain was playing out for me. 

I probably didn't want to drink too fast because I hadn't eaten much that day. 

Edward sipped his own drink, the joint between his fingers with the same hand that held the glass. “I was going to beg you to stay or fly to New York to follow you if you left before I could. Call and beg on your way to the airport to come back. I don't know. Something like that.”

“No,” I laughed at the dramatics of it all. 

He smirked a little bit. "Mm, yes. Maybe I'd just show up at your door with flowers and beg you to give me a chance. I expected more begging altogether, frankly. I thought after Saturday it would be harder, to be honest." 

“What about Saturday?” I asked. “Why?”

"I thought you weren't interested in me, to be honest." 

I swallowed and shook my head. “I thought you were flirting with me like you had with that girl at the party.”

“I shouldn't have done that. It's... It's an act I have to put on when I'm in public. I admit I probably let it go too far that night,” he said, almost embarrassed. “But, I don't feel the need to act for you.”

I touched his cheek lightly. He was being so sweet to me. “So, did tonight work out better than you hoped?”

He leaned his face into my hand. "I didn't even want to think about tonight, honestly. If you weren't interested- I just... I just knew I had to tell you how I felt and deal with it, but there was no way I couldn't." 

I clicked my tongue. “Couldn't you tell how much I am into you? I feel so obvious. I even kissed you!” I laughed. 

“But, I asked for it!” He pointed out. “I wasn't sure. I thought... maybe... but I wasn't sure if I was just projecting my feelings onto you. But I knew the second I watched you get out the car and saw your face for the first time, though…” He trailed off, shaking his head.  “You are the most amazing woman.”

I took the joint from him, kissing his mouth lightly for a moment. I took a long drag as I snuggled into his side. He wrapped his arm, so they rested on my stomach. 

“That's so sweet. I wish I could say something equally so about the first time I saw you,” I told him truthfully. It was completely dark outside. It was getting windier. It was almost the perfect way to spend a rainy October night.

“That's okay,” he chuckled as he took a long drag.

“The first time I saw your face and knew exactly who you were, to be perfectly honest, my roommate and I had watched eight solid hours of your videos and well... I definitely masturbated thinking about you. Does that count?” I asked in a monotone voice.

He coughed hard and shot smoke out of his nose. He sputtered as I laughed to myself. “Dammit! And you say it so dryly, too! Christ. You did that on purpose.”

“Yeah, but it's still true,” I told him, still amused with myself.

"Well, I did too, but I wasn't going to tell you that," he snickered as he tried to recover. He took a couple of big drinks of his white wine, embarrassed.  

“Well, I already assumed you did,” I teased him. “I would assume that even if you weren't interested in me romantically actually. You were definitely staring at my breasts at the tattoo shop.”

"That was so hot," Edward muttered, he said as he flicked ashes into the glass tray. "I felt like a whiny cunt, and then you lay there like a goddamn gangster. When you took your shirt off. Bless. Seth almost dropped his camera. It's my favorite part. I had so much fun. Thank God Tyler caught his reaction.”

I laughed, “well, that was hot for both of us. You weren't too bad. It does hurt.” I kissed where his tattoo was still healing up on his chest through his shirt. “It was your first. You get used to it.”

Edward was quiet for a beat while he considered something. "Did you really... um, play with yourself?" He asked, shyly. "I mean, thinking about me? After watching my videos?" 

“You're so cute,” I touched his red cheeks. “I did... And I did after the tattoo shop in bed that night. And... in the morning in the shower afterward. And a few times in between. I literally took pictures of your ass just for me.”

Edward was biting deeply into his lip while I spoke before quickly finishing his wine. “You're so forward,” he said after he swallowed. 

“Is that bad?”

"No." He licked his bottom lip to get a drop of wine he missed. "You're normally blunt, so I shouldn't be surprised. I've never met a woman like you. Your body is too small for your personality, you know that?" 

“Sounds like something you'd say about a Yorkie.” It wasn't the first time I had heard someone say something like that.

He giggled. I realized we were both very high. It kind of hit all of a sudden. 

The lights flickered back on. Went back out. Then, came on once again. We waited for a pause, still as if not to frighten the electricity away. 

“Let's get dinner while they're still on,” he said. I agreed and followed him to the kitchen. They stayed on long enough to get the food moved to the table and get our miso soup warmed up. Edward helped move more candles onto the table.

I took too many pictures of our candlelit meal before we sat down to eat. He took a couple as well, and some of me taking pictures with his phone. 

Edward brought his phone up with a flashlight as light. He began to record a video. "So, it is... well, it's raining cats and dogs outside, and we, the gorgeous Isabella and I are without any lights," he said in his announcer video voice. "But, fear not. We are prepared. We have candles coming out of our arses. We have torches. And we have a metric fuckton of Japanese food we bought on our way home from picking up storm supplies. Look at all that," he said as he panned the phone of the candlelit food. "So, darling, do you want to tell us what we have today?" 

"Well, first, we have sushi. We have salmon and white tuna nigiri, and we have salmon and tuna maki. And a shrimp tempura roll, which I'm super excited about. We also have chicken, shrimp, and steak mixed plate of teriyaki with extra vegetables because they're my favorite. Steamed and fried rice. Miso soup. Seaweed salads. And steamed dumplings because we're apparently pigs?" I pointed to everything and spoke as clearly and cheerfully as I could. Edward laughed from behind the phone.  

“We could have gotten more,” he told me.

“Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Besides, didn't you buy a bunch of desserts?” I asked him curiously.

"Yeah," he said happily. He poured us each a fresh glass of wine. Edward picked up his glass, and I took mine. "A toast to stormy weather. Prost." 

“Salud.” I clinked my glass against his. Edward had the best smile. He put the camera down. 

“You're a natural.”

“Well, I did take like two years of drama in high school or whatever.” I did a silly hair flip. He chuckled. 

"And it shows! It's probably just going to be for me, though. My diary. I want to remember every detail of this night." 

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