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6/10/2020

Episode One-hundred-thirty-four: Jack-in-the-box

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Episode One-hundred-thirty-four: Jack-in-the-box

So, Lauren sat wedged in the couch’s corner with a bowl of mixed fruit on her belly and a mug of tea while the boys set up the camera equipment in certain spots to have it ready. Tyler kept shaking his head at her. He should have known she would get her way, especially with Edward around. If how he treated her was any sign, I would be spoiled even more when we had kids.

Only about fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on the front door. The boys had just gotten done with the cameras and were fiddling with settings. I looked up in surprise, glancing at the clock. If it was Sarah, she was an hour early.

I had finished my prep work and was sitting with Lauren. Quickly, I pushed myself off of the sofa. “I’ll get it.”

Opening it a crack, I peeked out before opening it wide. She was there on the other side, shockingly alone again. I expected her to have an assistant or something. The club was one thing, but this was work.

“Hey! Sorry! Am I too early? I was worried about getting lost and traffic, so I left too soon,” she babbled in a rush as her cheeks flushed. It was adorable. She almost seemed nervous, though I didn’t know why. This would be easy compared to some stunts she did for the movie.

“No! Come in! Hi!” I replied, stepping aside so she could move past me. Once inside, she hurriedly brought me into a hug. I squeezed her in return. It was fun to embrace someone my size. It rarely happened. Her hair smelled of lavender, freshly washed. It brushed against my nose. “Your shampoo smells nice,” I blurted out.

“Thank you!” She gushed, clutching me again tightly before releasing me. She inhaled deeply, lifting her nose. “Oh! It smells good in here already,” she sighed before taking my arm as we walked out of the foyer and into the living room. “Oh, wow! This place is gorgeous,” she paused, her eyes getting wide. She looked around, soaking it all in. “Damn, I’ve never seen a couch that huge.”

Edward chuckled at her words from the kitchen where he stood beside a tripod. He was still barefoot. He seemed so relaxed and in his element. “It was one of my big splurges when I got this place. It was custom made for me. I love it.”

“And it’s so comfortable,” Lauren told her with a smile as she wiggled in her corner. She could barely cross her ankles at this point.

Sarah hadn’t realized she was there and instantly got excited. “Oh, my god! You’re so pregnant!” She cheerfully exclaimed, rushing over to the sofa to get a better look at her. “Aw! You’re so cute!” She said as she brought both of her fists up to her face for a brief second. The woman went into full giddy overload.

Flushing, she looked down at her belly as she held it with one hand. “Um, thank you.”

Eddie grinned, the actor in him coming out. “Emma Sarah Jones, this is our good friend, Lauren and her husband, Tyler. And that is Seth,” he introduced everyone, pointing at them as he did. It was a little loud and too big. “Welcome!”

“You can call me Sarah when we’re not filming, though,” she explained, still peering at Lauren. She sat slowly on the edge. “How far along are you?” Her smile was as large as her eyes, leaning in as she bit her bottom lip.

“About seven months,” she frowned as she rubbed the curve.

“Girl or a boy?”

She waffled her head from one side to the other. “It’s Schrödinger’s baby for right now. I find out on Friday. We’re having a gender reveal. He already knows, though.” She pointed at her husband. “He’s planning everything.”

Sarah looked over at him. “That is so fun! I can’t wait to do all of this stuff one day.” She gazed longingly at her stomach. “I want to touch you but not be creepy or rude because I realize I’m a complete stranger. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“No, it’s cool!” She lifted her shirt to her breasts and tucked it under. Her skin looked just as strained as it could be. It was pink and lined with purple and blue veins. “So, I think the baby is stretched out because there is something going on right here and over here,” she explained. It appeared as if it was lying across her stomach. One end was probably their feet, and the other was their outstretched arms. Lauren was so little, the poor creature had nowhere else to go.

She put her hands on both spots and became still. Very quickly, her eyes grew, and her mouth opened in a wide O. “Oh, there they are! Hi there, cutie!” She cooed at her belly. “That is so neat. So, do you have names picked out for both to be prepared?”

Lauren instantly nodded. “Imogen for a girl and Tristan for a boy,” she replied with an enormous smile.

“Oh, I like those,” I said, leaning over the edge of the couch. “They’re old-school English romance-ish. Imogen or Tristan Crowley. They sound as if they’d star in their own young adult novel.”

My new friend glanced up at me. “Have you thought about what names you’d want to use one day? I have so many I like. Declan, Nevada, Sage,” Sarah named off quickly. She counted them off on her fingers.

I laughed a little at her over-eagerness. She reminded me of Edward. Way too young to start a family, but excited about it nonetheless. At least she had the money to take care of them if she began having them on her own. Being a lesbian, there would be no surprises. “I used to have names picked out when I was married, but I don’t know now. I haven’t thought about it,” I finally responded. “They definitely would be different. Cullen is easier to work with than Zucker.”

“Oh? What were they?” Lauren questioned, peering over her shoulder at me.

I felt my face heat as I spoke about something so private. “Oliver and Jane,” I answered. Biting my lip, I shrugged awkwardly then quickly shook my head. “I wasn’t committed to either, though. I wouldn’t doubt Edward has a few names in mind,” I continued, peeking over at him. He winked with a slight smirk. “Hey Seth, do you want kids?”

“No,” he laughed before shrugging. “I’ll just borrow yours.”

Lauren frowned as she pulled her shirt down. “I don’t know if I trust you.”

He waved her off, looking at her as if she was silly. “I mean in like five years when I want to go see an animated movie and not be embarrassed,” he explained before grinning widely at her. “Don’t worry. Not when it’s tiny and breakable. And shits itself.”

The girls all giggled. Sarah got up off the sofa and stretched her arms over her head. “So, I’m starving! What do I need to do?” She asked, rubbing her hands together. “Put me to work, Mama. I’m ready to cook with you.”

“You only have to look cute in the videos and do what I tell you,” I began with a grin.

“That’s what she said,” Jasper whispered from his spot in the kitchen just loud enough for us to hear, making her snicker.

I laughed, too, sticking my tongue out at him before turning my attention back to her. “We’re ready to cook, actually. It’ll take a few hours before everything is done, but we’ll be snacking all day.”

“She’s been kind of secretive about what we’re making. I do have some ideas…” Edward trailed off. “I’ve not seen her schedule yet, but I know she has one.”

“Because I wanted to surprise you. But I think you’ll both like it, though,” I promised hastily. “We’re making Chinese takeout. Egg rolls are first. Made with vegan wrappers for you,” I told Lauren. “Steamed rice and then fried rice. That’ll be too until I top it with a fried egg. Orange chicken for us and I’ll make some orange tofu, and finally, fried sesame potatoes which are normally vegan,” I explained as I listed everything off on my fingers as she had done earlier. “It should take just around three hours altogether.”

She raised her eyebrows, looking at me. “That’s it? I’ve got all day free!” Sarah remarked in surprise.

“Oh, we can find more videos for you to make, baby. We can put you to work,” Edward declared before winking at her merrily. He was in a good mood.

“That’s also what she said,” I whispered to her as I widened my eyes playfully, making her snort.

“Yes! I’m so excited! Let’s do this!” She clapped happily.

I brought my palms up to stop them. “The boys need to put their shoes on first. I’m deep-frying things, and I really don’t want to go to the ER today because I dropped a hot egg roll on someone’s foot,” I informed them. Both of them looked down at their feet comically and went without a word to go get them. “Go wash your hands, and we’ll get started.”

She smirked at me, bumping her hip into mine. “Yes, ma’am. Ugh, I love a bossy woman,” she mischievously flirted before going into the kitchen to do what I said.

I walked after her but stopped when I heard a whimper.

“I can’t get off the couch,” Lauren whined as she tried to get out of her comfortable corner. She attempted to scoot forward, but it was nearly impossible. I rushed to help her, as did her husband. We both took one of her hands, carefully pulling her. “Why am I so fat?”

“Well, you threw a tantrum earlier because he wouldn’t let you have fake bacon,” Seth muttered under his breath. “That may have something to do with it.”

“You’re not, honey,” Tyler said loudly, trying to drown him out. “You’re beautiful and growing new life. You’re glowing.”

“Fuck you in the face,” she grunted as she finally got off the sofa. She stomped over to Seth, and he backed up a little. “Yeah, that’s right. You should fear me. I will end you.”

He brought his palms up in surrender, visibly swallowing. “I’m sorry. I was joking. You’re not at all fat.”

“Jesus, we leave for a second, and someone’s trying to start a fight with a pregnant lady,” Edward commented, shaking his head. “Lauren, I think you’re gorgeous right now. Don’t listen to that twat. You’re a sexy ass woman.”

She put her hand on her heart, her eyes glossy as she gazed at him. “Aw, thank you, Eddie!” It didn’t matter that her husband had practically said the same thing. She then turned her attention back to Seth. “This is why you’re single,” she hissed at him meanly.

His mouth dropped open, shocked by her words. They cut rather deep. “Damn, I apologized!”

She stuck her tongue out at him as she waddled over to the table to watch. Edward brought her tea over to her and rubbed her shoulder before smacking a kiss on the top of her curly hair. She smiled up at him, her chubby pink cheeks puffed out a little.

He then snatched up the schedule from the tabletop to read finally. “Alright. Are we ready to start setting up, love?”

It only took about ten minutes to get us in front of the camera. It would be Edward, Sarah, and I to begin with.

“So, am I going to be in the frame, or am I being introduced then walk into the shot?” Sarah questioned, leaning against the island. I looked over at my boyfriend to see what he wanted to do.

He pursed his lips. “Well, usually, we’re just in it, but we’ve never done a guest before. You are kind of special, too.”

“Kind of?” I countered. She put her arm around my shoulders. “I think she’s extraordinary.”

He chuckled. “Yeah. I guess we’ll have you pop on.”

“Literally?” She laughed.

His mouth opened and then shut. He pursed his lips again, but this time it was exaggerated and purposefully funny. “I meant figuratively, but if you want to pop out of somewhere like a jack-in-the-box, go for it.”

“Yas! Okay.” She hurried around the counter and kneeled down between us. She grinned up at him. “This good?”

Edward bent some to look at her from his height. This entire conversation, Jasper was standing behind the camera while shaking his head.

“What?” I asked with a laugh.

“How do you like the view of all that ass back there?” He shouted at her.

“Oh, my god, it’s so good,” she replied, then sharply poked Eddie in the butt cheek. It was hard and quick enough that he wasn’t expecting it, making him jump. Instead of saying anything, he pushed the top of her head down. It made her snort and fall onto her bottom.

“If you don’t want this to take all day, I suggest someone do the intro,” our boyfriend called from behind the clipboard he was holding over his mouth. He was trying to hide his amused smile. “Bella, my dove, if you will.” I nodded, squaring my shoulders. “Thank you. Three, two, one.”

She tried to poke mine, but I grabbed her arm. Snorting again, she just held my hand instead. “Hi! I’m Bella, and this is Eddie, and today we’re spending the entire day in the kitchen with our new friend and very special guest, Emma Sarah Jones!”

She literally jumped up while holding my fist, using it to launch herself upwards. “Hey!” She said way too gleefully, her grin wild.

Edward, who had been trying his best to keep a straight face, lost it and laughed. He leaned against the counter for a second with his hands over his eyes. “Shit, I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat, then looked at her. “Shall we do that again without the sexual harassment?”

“Aw! I thought this was going to be fun!” She joked as she plopped back down onto the floor. “I was going to bite somebody’s booty this time, but I guess I won’t.”

“Later,” he humorously whispered before giving our boyfriend a shit-eating grin. “Count us down again?”

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Thanks to Gina for proofreading!

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