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10/21/2020

Episode One-hundred-fifty-three: A Connection

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Episode One-hundred-fifty-three: A Connection

When we got inside, I stopped in the middle of the room. I felt so drained. All of my tears and anger had taken so much out of me. Jasper put our bags down and walked behind me, soothingly rubbing his hands over my shoulders. I leaned back into him.

“I want you to know you are the very best part of this trip,” I breathed as his hand moved around my front, pulling me to him. He pushed his face into my hair, taking in a deep breath. I felt him smile against my temple. “Being around my siblings is great, but it’s better because of you. I couldn’t have done this alone.”

He sighed softly, breathing in my scent. “I promise you are the best part of every day.”

“What about Tony?” I teased lightly.

He smirked a little, kissing my cheek. “You two are the best parts of my life. I look forward to waking up every morning just so I can see both of you. I have never felt more loved or cared for, and I’ve never been happier,” he whispered affectionately in my ear. I tilted my head back to peer at him, both of my hands on his forearm as it wrapped around my shoulder.

“I feel so lucky to have you both. You make me feel…” I trailed off, trying to gather my thoughts. “I seriously wonder if the universe is attempting to make up for its mistake with my mother by giving me two wonderful men to get me through this.”

“Hm… I don’t know. I don’t think the universe really cares about us. But I think you’re an amazing woman, and Tony and I got lucky. You came into our lives and guided us together. Being here for you, for this, is the least I can do for giving me my happiness.”

“God, you’re so sweet,” I mumbled, pulling him down to kiss his mouth lightly. “I love you so much. I love you both.”

“I know,” he breathed against my lips. “You show us every single day in so many ways.”

“So do you,” I declared, making him smile. His fingers squeezed my shoulders. “I am so glad I have you. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to, I swear. We’re always here for you, dove.”

I closed my eyes for a moment. “I know,” I replied with a sigh.

“So, what would you like to do now? Want to have a drink?”

Slowly, I nodded my head. I turned to the dresser and went to take the bottle of Jack Daniel’s from the brown paper bag. He had gotten some Coke too. I unwrapped the plastic from one of the glass tumblers and filled it three-fourths of the way to the top. I gulped it down before he could fully get his squeak of surprise out. Then I poured myself another.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, you told me not to let you get drunk.”

“I said too drunk. I intended to get at least somewhat smashed. And I mean to do it quickly because I’m really getting tired of being inside my head,” I admitted, taking another gulp. I could already barely feel the burn. Licking my lips, I closed my eyes. “This bottle isn’t even enough to give me too bad of a hangover, I think.”

He scoffed. “You will not be drinking all of that alone.”

I offered it to him. He frowned for a moment before taking it from my grip. He threw back several gulps. Tears streamed down his face by the end. When I took it back, I topped up it again.

It only took about twenty minutes for it to get blurry for me. I sprawled out on the bed with my cup, now filled with ice too. Jasper had switched to a glass, but he wasn’t drinking nearly as fast as me.

“Am I wasting time not saying yes?”

“What?” He questioned in confusion.

“To Edward.”

He shook his head. “Saying yes to Tony about what?”

“Getting married.”

“Oh,” he murmured, then looked away for a moment. “He’s not asked you, has he? Gotten down on his knees with a ring and begged as he should?”

“No,” I laughed. “Not like that. It’s never so direct.”

Jasper bit his lip. “You’re not ready to get married, and if you said to me at this very moment you were, I’d call you a liar to your face. You keep saying you’re not and dove, I believe you. Just because you saw your mum get engaged, it doesn’t mean you need to run off towards the deep end yourself. When you are, you’ll know, and you’ll be the first to tell him.”

“It wouldn’t be a mistake.”

“Yes, it would. Did you see that woman’s reaction? She wanted it with her whole heart. Every time marriage comes up, you half panic. Have you glanced at your ring yet?” I shook my head. “If you were ready, it would already be on your finger.”

“I want to be, though,” I whispered.

“But it’s not the same thing as being ready.”

“I’m glad you’re on my side.” I laid my head on his chest, taking another sip of my whiskey. I peeked up at him. “I love you.”

“You’re going to be saying that a lot, aren’t you?” He smirked, putting his cup onto the bedside table.

“I am. Every chance I can get,” I stated right away. I put my glass away too so I could hold his face in my hands while we kissed. “Make love to me. I need you.”

I woke up nude in his brawny arms. His intense cuddles had restorative powers. He was lightly kissing the back of my shoulder. I didn’t move, not wanting to disturb the peacefulness.

“What time is it?”

“Just after nine.”

“That’s not too bad,” I mumbled, bringing his arm around me tightly.

Tenderly, he kissed the back of my neck. “How are you feeling?”

I glanced over my shoulder at him. “Emotional,” I admitted. “I wish even more now that we were open with everyone. It’s too soon, but I want to hold your hand today.”

“You still can.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know what I mean.”

Jasper sighed softly. “I do. And I do, too. Maybe one day. Let’s not start with your family, though.”

I played with the hair on his arm. It was pale white and curly. “Edward’s sisters will be fine.”

He hummed. “And if they’re not- Well… they’re across the ocean. His mother won’t be okay. At all. She’s going to lose her shit.”

“What do you think about his grandparents?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed in an almost pained voice. “They’re very loving and understanding. I’d hope they’d be alright with it. I hope they don’t hate me if we do. I do love them like they were my own nan and grandpa. It would break my heart.”

“And Edward’s,” I agreed. Pushing my nose in his arm, I took a deep breath. “I’ve never been in a poly relationship where I wanted to be open before. I don’t know how to do this. Frankly, if it was ten years ago, I would have told everyone and not given a shit. But I’m so scared about ruining his career.”

“Me too,” he lamented as he shook his head. “So much broken glass to tiptoe through. I’m glad you two are both worth it.”

“Am I, though?” I breathed. “You’re perfect together. Honestly, if you two would be happier as-”

Turning my face by holding my chin, he kissed me to shut me up. “No. Don’t start that. How can you think that? We’d both be miserable without you. How can you say that when we’re both so in love with you?”

A tear rolled down my cheek as I took a shaky breath. “You both love me, and everything is going to be alright.”

“Yes, it is, my pretty little dove. You are loved, you are safe, and we will both take care of you for the rest of our lives because we adore you and everything you do for us. Because you are brilliant and a joy to work with. And we will wait until you’re ready for every step of our relationship because you are worth it. Your value as a person has nothing to do with the mistakes of your family or past.” It was the exact words I needed to hear. It was like therapy. He let me cry against his chest for a few minutes. Pulling me back, he pecked my lips. “Let’s get cleaned up and get you fed, hm? That’ll make you feel better.”

Since we were going to meet up with my entire clan, I dressed nicer in a sweater dress, leggings, and boots. It was still raining and cold outside. Los Angeles was going to be such a shock.

I put the necklace on that my aunt made me while staring at my rings.

“You should wear your hair like you did on Friday. It was lovely. Braided.” He made a halo with his finger around his head. “It makes your neck even longer. Perfect for that choker.”

Nodding, I went to get my brush. “Do I look Native American?” I questioned as I twisted it in place.

He hummed, then chuckled. “You look exactly like all of them I’ve met so far, so… yes?”

I laughed. “We do all look like Dad.”

“You do. He was smoking hot, too.” I paused to study him in the mirror. “Your brother is too. Damn. I would hit that if he were into it. I never thought I’d be into siblings like that.” He blew out a dramatic raspberry as he made his eyes wider. “But Tony was right. Good fucking genetics. We lucked out with the foxiest of the bunch, though.”

He kept going until I was laughing hard, my head falling back. “Shut up. Jake’s the hottest. He’s like… pretty-pretty. Take off his shirt, grease up the abs, get a fan, and he could be on every slutty novel.”

Jasper chuckled too. “Okay… The hottest girl.”

“But they’re so tall!”

“I prefer short women, actually.” He held his chin up in the air as we had this stupid, joking conversation. He was trying to keep his face as serious as possible. “Tony liked his ladies tall until he met you. And then he saw the light.”

I finished with my hair, spritzing on more perfume. “Do you actually like short girls?”

He nodded. “The shorter, the tinier, the better. I adore just being able to manhandle them, and they always love it. Getting scooped up and carried. I like when I can pin her up against the wall and fuck her until she cums, moaning my name.” He kissed the back of my neck. Goosebumps raised in his wake.

“Oh, like how you enjoy being ‘manhandled’ by Edward?” I teased, bumping my ass against him. He nodded again. I giggled. “Too bad we don’t have more time.”

“Tonight,” he promised.

My siblings were already at Jake’s cabin when we showed up. They came to greet us with umbrellas. We had a couple of hours before we had to meet our family at one of the restaurants close to town. They had reserved a whole room.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jacob asked gently as we ran back to the house.

“Oh, yeah. I just got overwhelmed by seeing her so happy. I had a few glasses of whiskey and went to bed. I’m fine,” I assured him right away. I hugged Vanessa and my sisters once we got into the cabin. “I’m so sorry I freaked out last night.”

He held onto my shoulders when it was his turn. “I feel so bad-”

“What? No! Don’t. I was thrilled I got that gift… I’m just so fucking furious about what could have been.” I shook my head and shut my eyes as I took a ragged breath. “I’m sure your mom was amazing, and I’m glad you’re here, but I wish with all my heart they had run away and had you guys. Or even if it didn’t work out, and they divorced- Just anything else. I don’t know-” I stopped myself from getting emotional. “We can’t change the past. I’m mourning something that was never given to me. But I’m grateful for what we have now. And I am so blessed to have gotten to see that moment. If that’s the only one I ever get with my parents, then it’s perfect. They were happy, they were in love, and it was a good day. And I was with them, in her belly. Like a tiny time-bomb of chaos,” I muttered the last sentence to myself.

Jasper put his hands on my forearms from behind. “Nope. Not a bomb- a gift,” he reminded me. “To everyone around you.”

“I can’t afford your therapist’s fees, honey,” I grumbled, looking back at him. He winked.

“He’s right. This time with you is a gift,” Jake said as he took my hand. He pulled me into another embrace. His heart thumped against my cheek. Our sisters wrapped around us too. It was warm and secure.

Ness waddled to Jasper. “I’m glad she had you to keep an eye on her last night.”

He ducked his head, a bashful smile on his face. “Oh, every moment was my pleasure. She really is my best friend, and I would do anything for her. In this case, it was merely buying liquor and taking it away when she had way too much. You know, standard stuff.”

My boyfriend was acting as if the night before wasn’t one of the most important of my life. But we couldn’t share that.

“You kept me from getting a hangover!” I laughed from our embrace. “That’s hard!”

“Small miracles,” he uttered in a thick accent. “I promised Tony I’d return you in perfect condition, and you’ve already scraped your knees. Made me sign a paper and everything. That’ll cost me extra. I knew I should have gotten the insurance.”

I snorted. “That’s the rental car, and I definitely got full coverage.”

He snapped his fingers. “Oh, shit! You’re right!”

“What did you do to your knees?” Rebecca questioned. I peered over my shoulder at Jasper and gave him a look.

“The floor- uh, we went clubbing after lunch on Friday, and we had been drinking and-” I waved my hand, implying that I fell as I rolled my eyes. I did, just to my knees to give him a blow job. Then I rode him before getting it from behind. Nobody in that room needed to know that, though. Flushing, I pushed my lips together.

Rachel sighed. “You got our clumsy genes. I’m sorry.”

“No, it was the liquor.”

“Both,” my sisters stated at the same time. I giggled. “Abrasions suck,” Rebecca finished. “Do you need anything?” Of course, the nurses would be concerned.

“Meh, it’ll be fine in a few days. It’s just itchy.” I looked around at them. “So, we have a little time to kill… I brought my camera. Want to take some more photos together?”

We took pictures outside for a little while in the rain with Vanessa because we thought it would look cool. I stayed under the porch with my equipment despite having a rain cover on it. Mostly, it was just us playing. The girls all took shots together while the men held two umbrellas over their heads. They would have done anything we told them to, though. It was cute that they were so willing.

When we arrived at the restaurant, half of our family was already there. People surrounded grandpa, but he literally pushed them out of the way to come see me. He pulled me into a tight embrace before kissing both of my cheeks. The aroma of peppermint lingered on his skin. “You are so beautiful,” he declared earnestly. “You look just like your grandmother.”

“She does,” my aunt Sue agreed, coming to greet me. He touched my cheek lightly. “Hello, sweetheart.”

“Who are you?” My grandfather demanded as he glared at my suddenly nervous boyfriend. There was no preamble. He just went after him.

“Gramps, this is Bella and Edward’s close friend and roommate, Jasper,” Jake introduced him for me. “He’s been helping her with the pictures. He’s awesome and been really helpful.”

He nodded, then looked at me. “I see. Where’s your man?”

I glanced back at him before looking at the older gentleman. “He had to work this weekend. He’s recording something for Disney right now, but he wishes he could be here.”

“How exciting!” Sue gushed. “I can’t wait to watch it.” She was trying to talk over her blunt father and be polite.

“Me too!” I agreed. “Whenever it premieres, I’ll invite everyone, trust me,” I promised. “Jasper, this is my Aunt. And over there is my dad’s twin, Harry.” He waved at me and smiled. “And that is my cousin Quil.”

He grinned and greeted him with a fist bump. “Hey. I watched your video together. That was… cool,” he drew out, looking at my boyfriend slowly and almost hungrily. I glanced at Jake, but no one said anything else.

“I’ve watched some of your cooking videos,” Grandpa interrupted as he guided us towards the table with his hand on my back. “I read about the charity event you did the other day. Who was it for again?”

“The Los Angeles food bank.”

“Yes! That’s it. That is amazing. I am so proud of you,” he said sweetly as he pulled out my chair for me.

“He’s never been this nice to me,” my brother muttered under his breath. His wife smacked his stomach. They sat across from us directly.

He looked him squarely in the face. “Young man, don’t make this about you.”

Both of my sisters laughed to themselves behind their menus. They were beside Vanessa.

Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself. “Um, so, there was something I wanted to talk to you about before we get started. Money-wise.” I was actually scared because I had no idea how he would react, but I couldn’t wait the entire meal to tell him.

He literally reached for his wallet. “Do you need some?”

Laughing nervously, I took his hand. “Oh, god! No. No, no, no. The opposite. Um…” I felt Jasper under the table give my thigh a quick squeeze. “I have been lucky enough to come into a lot of cash recently and… I don’t want it.” I laughed again. “Not at all. I want enough to live this cool lifestyle and be secure, but I have that, and so much more. And I want to give it back. To my family. To my people. I would like to finance the building of a new office for you and the future chiefs and maybe a visitor’s center. So far, I have two hundred thousand dollars I’d like to put towards it, which is a good start, but I promise that won’t be the last.” I pulled out the check from my purse with the amount before passing it to him after my rambling.

He looked at it for a long minute, his hands trembling. Everyone in the room was still and silent, watching what was going on. Grandpa took an uneven breath. “I don’t even know what to say, baby.”

“Please, accept it. I want to be a part of this family. I want to do my part.”

His wrinkled hand came up to my cheek, pushing against my skin. “You are. You don’t need to give us anything.”

I placed my palm on his. “I want to. Please,” I begged, feeling myself beginning to cry again. He pulled me to him, patting my back.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“I’ve looked into some stuff, but I didn’t want to plan anything serious without your help. I want you to decide everything. It’ll be your workplace.”

He nodded. “I guess we’ll have to do some research, won’t we?” I nodded too, grinning at him. He wiped my cheek. “I have something for you too.”

My grandfather hauled out a huge heavy sack and put it onto my lap. There were only a couple of pieces of tissue on top of it. I pulled out what appeared to be a traditional handmade dress. It was made with a combination of tanned leather and luscious gray fur. It had elegant embroidery all over it.

“This was your grandmother’s. She wore it to ceremonies and special events. I want you to have it.”

There was no chance I wasn’t going to sob openly in front of my entire family by the end of the meal.

“It’s so beautiful,” I said in a tiny voice, placing my hand on it. It was so heavy on my lap. “We should put this in the visitor’s center. We should display important stuff like this so others can see how gorgeous it is. This is art.”

“I’d like to see you wear it,” he replied softly, hope in his dark brown eyes.

I pressed my lips together for a moment. “I’ll take pictures wearing it for you, then I’ll have it preserved, so maybe Jake’s daughter can wear it someday too. So future generations can see it. It’s too precious not to save and share.”

He squeezed my hand again. “I’d like that very much. Could I have photographs of all of you together?”

I looked at my siblings. “Of course, but I don’t know when we can arrange that.”

The girls peered at each other. Rebecca spoke for them. “Ours is in the cabin. We don’t work tomorrow. If we stay the night, we can do it. When do you fly out?”

“One.”

“Would we have enough time?”

“We’d have to get up early,” Rachel said, looking over at Jake.

“That’s not a problem,” he responded. I nodded in agreement. I would do anything to make this happen for him.

“Would you like to be in the pictures, too?” I offered our grandfather, still holding his hand. It was warm and soft. It wasn’t uncomfortable. This person wasn’t a stranger, but someone I felt connected to.

Bowing his head, he squeezed my fingers. “I would like that very much.”

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Thanks to Gina for proofreading!

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