Imperfectpictures

6/3/2019

Episode Forty: DNA

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Episode Forty: DNA

“So what are you hoping to learn from this?” Edward asked me when it was my turn to spit in a tube for the DNA test. He had asked everyone the same questions. Seth, Tyler, and even Lauren were making the video with us. He watched me curiously from behind the camera, a phone in his hand with his notes.

“I think just some clarity. I'm so ethnically ambiguous that I could be a mixture of a lot of things. And I have some ideas, of course, but I could be way off. And it would be nice to know, maybe for the sake of my own kids, if anything else. I can give them an answer. I am... whatever. So, you are part this. Everyone else here has a pretty good idea of what they are.” I felt a little anxiety prickle at the back of my neck. “Mostly you guy are trying to find out what slice of white bread you are,” I joked.

Edward made a little face, scrunching up his nose tight and pursing his mouth. It made me smile a tiny bit.

“What do you think you're a mix of?” He spoke evenly.

“Um, I'd say part Latino of some sort. I don't know how that breaks down exactly. My grandparents were both from German immigrant parents so at least some German. I really don't have that much information about any of my family. I've always wondered if maybe my father was part black as well. I'm not sure. I'm going to be surprised, probably.”

He smiled at me encouragingly. “What do you think I'll turn out to be?

“Whiter than snow.” I grinned wickedly. He made another face from behind the camera. I laughed at the silliness of it. He wanted a better answer than that. “Uh, English, Irish, and French/German. Probably.”

“Well, I know I'm partially Scottish.”

"Wouldn't you think Scottish would be considered part of the English, or is it separate? I think France and Germany are bundled together," I asked, completely unsure. "I know very little about all this."

“Fuck. I don't know,” he mumbled, looking at his phone and scrolling to maybe find an answer.

“I guess we'll find out, huh?” I smiled, putting my chin on my palm as I waited for him.

“What if you're Asian?” Seth asked from behind his camera.

I chuckled as I considered the possibility, "I'll be surprised any way I turn out, but I wouldn't be shocked. I could also be Middle Eastern. Or Indian. Or maybe I'm a Jew like my mother in law always hoped I was. That would make her happy, even if it was like point zero two percent. That would be enough for her."

"You're probably right. Hi, Esther," Edward said from behind the camera. She had spoken to me many times about my new gentleman since they met last time, and she had asked many questions. She had also watched some of the videos with me in them. She was very proud.

“She loves you. It's so weird. I don’t know how to feel about it.” I shook my head as I laughed awkwardly. “And, who you should be saying hi to is Claire. She actually watches all of your videos.”

Eddie smiled charmingly, nodding his head. “Oh, you're right! Hi Claire!”

I picked at my sleeve, smiling as I thought about her response to that. She had also talked to me a lot about Edward. “She’ll like that…” I trailed off. “So, what do you think I'm going to be?” I asked him curiously.

He thought for a moment, carefully chewing on his words. “I don’t know, really. I'm going to go... Native American? Is that even a possibility? I just want to be different, I think. Though, I did think you looked a bit like a curly haired Disney-style Pocahontas when we first met. So, Seth thinks you're Asian. Tyler thinks you're probably Spanish. Lauren said Latino, too. So, yeah…” he nodded to himself. “I'll go with Native, baby.”

I bit my lip as I thought about his answer. "Oh, yeah. I guess that is a possibility. I don't see it being a high chance, though. So, long shot odds," I told him with a slight smirk. "Maybe a little from back in the day just like everyone else in America."

“Yeah, probably. Well, we'll see in March when we get back.” Edward took the tube from me to send away. It was weird to hand him my spit.

Since everyone was over anyway, I decided to cook dinner for the crowd. A fresh full Tex-Mex spread so that everyone could make their own food just how they liked it. Steak and chicken fajitas with grilled veggies, vegan chorizo, guacamole, salsa, rice, beans, and salad. Lauren was in the kitchen with me as I cooked, Edward and the guys outside smoking weed and drinking beer.

“Can I get you a drink?” I offered her. “I don't mind if you want to go out with the guys. I got this.”

“No, it's okay.” She shook her head as she watched the men through the glass. They were all chatting happily. “Do you have bottled water?”

“There is sparkling and regular in the fridge,” I answered, my hands full.

“Mm, sparkly water,” Lauren commented, popping open the refrigerator to see what was inside. She pulled the Topo Chico bottle from the shelf, pleased with her discovery. “I love these.”

"I don't drink soda on the regular, so it scratches that fizzy itch for me," I replied to her, glancing over my shoulder. "I really like the cheap fruit flavored ones because I'm trash," I joked with a laugh in my voice.

“Why don't you drink soda?” She popped the lid off with the bottle opener, the contents hissing and bubbling.

“I had a run in with a disgusting soda when I was younger. Now, I'd just rather waste the calories on something with alcohol.”

Lauren giggled, popping a straw into her glass bottle and taking a long slurp. She leaned against the counter, sighing heavily. She was wearing what was clearly Tyler's flannel shirt and comfortable yoga pants. Her long short curly brown hair was pinned back away from her face, giving her only a puffball of a ponytail at the top.

“So, how long have you and Edward been going out now?” She tilted her head as she asked, chewing on the straw.

“Working on three months,” I answered as I moved things to the dining room table.

“Oh, nice. He seems really happy with you,” she commented with a smile. She slipped up onto the countertop to sit on the edge. “I'm really glad that Tyler started working with him.”

I nodded in agreement. “They seem to work really well together. They all seem like super close friends. It’s really nice.”

"Well, Seth and Tyler have been friends since high school. Eddie hired Tyler, and Tyler suggested Seth." She placed the bottle beside her, resting her hands on the countertop. Her left hand was closest to me, besides the stove. There was a massive engagement ring on her finger.

"Oh…" I drew out. "I guess I should tell you congratulations?" I waved my finger in her general direction. Just as I said it, Tyler came into the room to get a drink.

“You told them about the baby?!” She snapped at him dramatically, hopping off the counter to her feet. She was tiny like me, so she didn’t look very scary as she looked up at her stringy fiance.

“I haven't said anything!” He put his hands up defensively, surprised at the sudden attack.

“Really?” She looked at me.

“Nope.” I took a sip of my iced tea, feeling my cheeks heat up. She took a big old leap that I was nowhere close to. But, now that she said it, it was obvious.

“Then how did you know?” She demanded to know.

“Know what?” Edward asked as he came in for a drink, too. He moved past Lauren and Tyler to get another beer from the fridge.

Everyone ignored his question.

I bit my lip deeply, trying not to smile too much. "Um, well... First, you turned down liquor, and I know you like to drink. Second, you're wearing a baggy shirt and stretch pants. Third, your feet are slightly out turned. You almost have ballerina feet already." I pointed down to her slightly swollen feet. She looked down briefly and subconsciously tried to move them straight together, but it took a little effort on her part. "But um... I was actually talking about that big ass rock on your hand. It's kinda hard to miss there, babe."

“Oh.” Lauren began to turn really red in the face. “Wait... Are my feet really like that?” She looked down again. “Is it that obvious?”

“It's because your hips spread to make room for the baby,” I explained. I made a pained little face. “Your hips must hurt.”

Lauren touched her hands to her sides. “Oh, God, so much!”

“Wait, she's right?” Edward asked, confused by our exchange. He opened his beer and tossed the cap into the trash. “Are you engage and pregnant?”

“We actually got married after Christmas.” Tyler put his arm around her and pulled her in for a big kiss. His hand went protectively to her stomach. They looked so happy together.

“That's so awesome!” He cheered. “Hey, Seth! Come in here!” He yelled outside to his other friend. I wonder if he knew or not.

“What's going on?” He poked his head around the corner. “Food done?”

“No,” Lauren laughed. “I accidentally told everyone a couple of secrets we were trying to keep for at least the first trimester.”

“Trimester?” He questioned. Seth looked over at his good friend. “So, she got her way?”

“Of course she did. What a stupid question to ask.” Tyler shook his head. “I was trying to marry her before I knocked her up, though.”

“Whoops,” I laughed. “Yeah, I started birth control for a reason.”

“So you don't blow up like a blimp?” Lauren asked, rubbing her stomach. “My pants are already uncomfortable.”

“Aw, no. You'll look great. Remember, pregnancy boobs are a thing,” I joked. I made a motion to my chest, squeezing bigger imaginary breasts I did not have.

“Oh, I'll have titties. That will be nice.” She looked out into the middle distance with a sigh.

Tyler nodded thoughtfully. "She'll be beautiful, no matter what."

“That would be the correct answer.” I tipped my glass at him before I took a sip of my tea.

We celebrated by eating way too much and playing video games since that was all she was really up for at the moment. She ended up falling asleep on the couch before nine o'clock in the evening. Tyler helped her out, stumbling and mumbling all the way to the car.

Edward had to record the next day. He would have to three more times before I left in a week. He was going to be really busy recording a lot before February, actually. He was for a television show where he was the main character and a villain in some big open world video game. Sadly, that's all he could tell me about it. He also had a couple of auditions that he was going for that were lead parts for movies. We were hopeful he would get at least one of them.

I worked on photo editing for most of the morning. I started a chili bean stew in the crockpot for dinner and fresh sweet cornbread to go along with it. Since I was bored, I decided to make a chocolate cake for us from scratch. Edward was always happy to eat whatever I put in front of him, but he especially enjoyed my baked goods.

There was a ton of flour on the counter, and I had just finished mixing all my wet ingredients together when I received a phone call from my mother in law. I put it on speaker since my hands were full. The phone laid on top of a pile of fruit in a bowl pushed off to some corner.

“Hi, Esther,” I said brightly. “How are you?”

“Just fine,” she said briskly. “I saw the video today. Are you okay?” She asked me very seriously.

"Um, what video?" I asked, confused. I had no clue what she could be possibly talking about. There wasn't a video Edward and I filmed together that made the question make sense to me. What was she worried about?

"The security footage from when that horrible man attacked you!" She told me in a high pitched tone. I had told her that I had broken my foot but not how. I wasn't going to let her worry needlessly. There wasn't anything she could do to help, and that would only upset her. "Bella, honey! Why didn't you tell me that's how you hurt yourself?"

I felt properly scolded with just a few words. “I didn't want to upset you. I'm sorry. How did you see security footage, exactly?” I asked, my nerves tinting my tone. I hadn't seen anything like that. Surely they weren't talking to my ex-in-laws in an assault charge?

“On the Facebook.”

I filled with panic and dread in an instant. “Oh, no.” That was probably the worst answer I could think of.

“All my friends were sharing it!” Somehow it just made things worse.

“Oh, no.” I sat down at the island on a stool with a plop, stopping mid-cake.

“The person who attacked you pled guilty just last week,” she said, knowing more about the case than I did. “He's going to be serving five years. Not just for your assault though. Mostly for drug charges. There was a story in the paper about it, too. Jonah read it. We didn’t know it was you. It didn’t mention your name.”

“I see,” I said quietly. It sounded hollow and weak. “Well, I was worried I'd have to testify or something. I'm glad I'm not going to have to now,” I said numbly. “Lucky me.”

“I'm so sorry that happened to you. My family left Germany because of monsters like him. We were some of the lucky ones. We can't be bullied by them,” she told me firmly. “I'm proud of you. You are strong. You should always stand up for yourself.”

“I kicked someone in the face,” I laughed quietly. The memory was so fresh that it still brought fear. My stomach twisted nervously, angry at my sudden mood change.

“It was self-defense. Honey, you should come over so we can talk.” She was so worried about me.

I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling so sick to my stomach. “I'm in Los Angeles until the tenth.”

This seemed to surprise her, but not in a bad way."Oh! Good. Good for you, sweetie. Tell your gentleman, hello for me."

“I will,” I replied automatically. “He's recording right now.”

"Oh! I see. Honey, I need to go. I just wanted to check on you before I went to Minnie's. Ash is here. Call me when you get back into town, and I'll make you dinner. Anything you want, okay?"

I swallowed hard. “Yes, ma'am. Love you. Sorry for worrying you.”

“I love you, too. Be careful!”

I looked at the blank black phone screen for a few minutes before I finally got the nerve up to watch the video. My name wasn't attached to it yet, but you could definitely tell it was me in the video. And clearly, Edward was in it as well. I rubbed my face in anger as I watched it play out. It seemed to take hours when it happened at the time, but it was such a quick exchange. Less than two minutes in total.

I texted both Alice and Edward at the same time.
Alice sent the text back, “ow.” It had several sad face emojis with it. “Hugs.”

Edward called just as I had finally started putting myself together enough to finish the cake so I could put it in the oven to bake. I pushed the pan onto the metal rack and set the timer before I picked up the phone. My hands were shaking slightly for some reason.

“Are you okay?” He asked right away.

“Why does it have so many views?” I asked him instead of answering. I grabbed a towel and began to clean the countertops of white dust. It just seemed to spread everywhere instead.

“How many does it have?” Edward replied.

“Half a fucking million,” I complained a bit watery. “I want this to go away.” I threw the rag onto the marble angrily. The powder flew into the air in a small cloud.

"I do, too. I'm not sure it's going to be that easy, my love. I'll talk to Zafrina to see if we can bury this and I'll talk to my lawyer as well. If anyone calls to talk to you about it, you can direct them to my attorney or just say no comment," he tried to reassure me. "I'm going to blow the rest of the afternoon off."

“No, I'm fine. Don't do that. It will fuck with everyone's job if you do that,” I told him quickly. “It's okay. It just kind of freaks me out.”

He was so quick to answer. “And that's why I need to be there.”

“No. It's fine. Seriously. Thank you for calling though. It helps to hear your voice,” I responded quietly. I didn’t want him to worry about me. I pushed my lips together, pulling the phone away from my face when I sniffled.

He sighed, displeased with my answer. “Alright. Fine. Call me if that changes, okay?”

By the time he arrived home that evening, I had meal prepped several more meals worth of food for us. “Hey,” he tossed his keys into the bowl by his front door. “You okay?”

"Yeah." I shook my head, trying to clean up some of my mess. I had wiped the counters down so many times. "I've got four lasagnas in the freezer for you. They're enough for two meals. I wrote the cooking directions on the top," I said, just trying not to think about the video anymore. "I also made you some frozen burritos from the leftovers. The flavor is written on their wrappers, and the instructions are on the bag. I wanted to make sure you had something when I'm gone," I explained to him quickly.

“Hey there. Slow down a minute.” He came into the kitchen. He was frowning deeply, his bright green eyes downcast. “I should have come home.”

"Why? I was super productive today. I made tuna salad and deviled eggs for after shooting tomorrow. That way, we have dinner ready, and we don't have to order anything."

He took me by the wrists, stopping me from moving for a moment. “It's okay to be upset.”

“I'm fine,” I promised him. I hated that he saw my mouth twitch with anxiety.

Edward gently took my face in his hands, pulling me into a kiss. It was brief but firm. He laid his forehead against mine and sighed. And then he began to cry.

“Oh, no, No. Why?” I pulled back to look at him. I was shaking my head so hard that my hair was bouncing around me.

"I'm sorry. I've been holding it in all day and just seeing you made it all come out. I just... I just hated what happened, and I hate that I couldn't stop him. And, fuck. Bella... I don't know. I'm feeling emotional." He rubbed his temples with both of his fingers roughly. "I feel bad that I didn't come home when I clearly should-"

I kissed his lips to quiet him, pulling his hands away from his forehead. “I told you to stay.”

“Doesn't mean I should have listened. I'm feeling really guilty, honestly. Not just about today, but the whole damn thing. I know rationally there probably wasn't much I could have done.” He coughed, tears still coming from his eyes. Edward shook his head, rubbing his chin against his shoulder as he looked away from me.

“You were half drugged to the eyeballs and sick. You did nothing wrong. I just realized what he was doing first and reacted. Obviously, my fight or flight is really strong,” I pointed out to him. “Stop with this white savior nonsense, Edward. I don't need protecting or rescuing. I love you, but I can take of myself.”

“I obviously know that. Is that what you think of me?” He questioned, hurt by my words.

I considered his question for a moment, feeling a little angry for some reason. “About this? Yeah, I do.”

“Why?”

“Because you're feeling guilty because you're privileged. He was confronted by an actual immigrant and didn't give a fuck because you're a white guy! But you know you are, and you're doing stuff about it which is great... but you can't fix every problem I have."

“I just want to make your life as good as possible! Is that so terrible?” He almost shouted the words at me.

“No, of course fucking not!” I cried. “But that's not how life works!”

"He had a gun, Bella! He could have killed you!" He shouted loudly, then looked away from me. Edward swallowed, calming his voice. "You know, you're right. I do know that I have privilege. I do. But, I'm allowed to be mad. And scared!"

“You are,” I said quietly. I turned away from him, placing my hand on my face to cover my eyes. Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind. Sobs racked my body, shaking me to the very core.

“I feel so irrationally angry,” he said softly into my hair. “And now every moment I'm away from you I'm scared someone is going to try to take you away from me. I see monsters everywhere. Like on New Years. I don't know how to deal with this feeling.”

“Time,” I whispered.

“Therapy,” he mumbled in frustration.

“Both.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I'm sorry that I raised my voice.”

"It's alright." I leaned my head back against him. "I'm sorry, I wasn't very polite. I shouldn't have called you out like that. I could have worded it better."

“Is it that bad?” He questioned. I looked over my shoulder at him with a little frown on my face. “Yeah, okay. Got it. I'll try to be better about that. I don't know how, but I'll figure it out. I just can’t lose you, Bella.”

Back: Episode 39

Next: Episode 41