Imperfectpictures

6/10/2019

Episode Fifty-seven: Never Have I Ever

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Episode Fifty-seven: Never Have I Ever

Once the sun started to set the girls all began to tire. They all took turns in the bathrooms getting cleaned up before being plopped down in front of the television with a cartoon playing. My boyfriends were sitting on the couch with all of the kids practically piled on top of them by the end. Edward had a sleeping baby Ava on his chest, Mia resting on one shoulder. The three middle girls were crammed right between the boys and Ruby had her head on Jasper's arm. All of the kids looked exhausted. Chloe, the nine-year-old, was asleep on the floor in front of the television with a paper plate of food six inches from her head.

Carmen's husband yawned loudly, "I have an early start tomorrow. Why don't I take the girls, and you can have some alone time with your brother?"

Tanya looked at her husband. “Oh, that sounds like a nice idea. Would you mind? I’ll take everyone home afterward. Vasilii, you can drop Liam and Sophia home, can’t you?”

“Yes, of course,” he agreed, looking over at his wife to make sure she was okay with it. She smiled at him widely. “Anything I should know?” He asked as he took his daughter finally from her uncle’s protective grip. He had a thick accent being that he was Italian. Irina had met him while teaching abroad a few years before, I had learned.

"She's been bathed so give her a bottle, and she should be down for the night," she told him thoughtfully. "If she is still hungry you can give her some cereal."

“Ava is always hungry.” He smirked as he stood with the sleeping baby in his arms. “Call if you need me to pick you up.”

He kissed his wife lovingly on the top of the head. Everyone helped bring all the kids outside to the cars with all of their new toys. Sophia was still eating a plate of fruit and cookies as her uncle buckled her up carefully into the car. He kissed all of his nieces and wished them sweet dreams and then shook all of his brother in laws' hands with a big smile.

“Oi. Do you hear that?” Sasha said as we came back inside.

“No?” Jasper looked at her in confusion.

“Silence. That is the sound of no children,” she said in a whisper. “Or, husbands.”

“Oh, my god. Please, someone, go get me a drink,” Carmen laughed.

“Wine, beer, cocktails, or straight liquor?” I asked teasingly.

“Let's start with the wine and see where it goes from there.”

We sat inside with a couple of bottles of wine, me resting comfortably against Edward's side with his arm draped over the back of the couch. Our new boyfriend sat on the other side of me, Edward's hand resting not far from Jasper's neck. I could tell he liked having it right behind him. It was a tiny hidden intimacy that had always been there but now meant something more. My feet were curled underneath me, my toes brushing against his thigh. It was almost exactly how we had been sitting the other day, but it felt a lot more electric.

Carmen poured Edward and me a glass before making her own. "So, I hope you know now that we have you all to ourselves we're going to ask you every question we can think of."

“No,” Edward laughed nervously.

“We'll be nice,” Tanya commented. “We already like her. We're just curious.”

“Don't you think she's been through enough already?” He questioned them.

“I don't mind. I'm an open book,” I told him. “Feel free to ask me anything.”

“I don’t know…”

“We could do it as a game,” Sasha suggested. “Never have I ever. Remember how we played when you were younger?”

“Oh, no,” Edward complained. Jasper laughed before clearing his throat loudly. “You're not helping. You four were just trying to be nosy then too.”

“I don't mind. But, what is it with you Aussies and drinking games?” I asked. Tanya hopped up happily and went into the kitchen.

“I don't want to be hungover,” their brother whined softly. “Again.”

“What are you worried about, honey? I'm the one with the checkered past,” I snorted. “And just imagine poor Jasper.”

“Oh, speak for yourself, dove.” He winked at me. “I can hold my liquor.”

Edward looked at his sister very seriously. “Is this a game you want to play with your baby brother as an adult? What if you learn something you really don't want to know?”

“We want to know everything,” Sasha answered him, setting down a bottle of vodka and a bottle of whiskey. “Jasper, go get me the shot glasses.”

"Yes, darling," he cooed to her, his fingers brushing across my ankle for just a second before popping up off the couch. No one noticed but me. I smiled to myself, nuzzling my cheek into Edward's chest. I felt a little chilly, so I pulled the blanket off the back of the couch to cover myself with. When Jasper sat back down, he held the blanket up so it wouldn't be caught underneath him. It partially covered his lap, so I slid my feet onto his thigh just a little.

“Would you rather us just directly ask about your sex life?” Irina asked as she poured herself some vodka.

“No,” he said quickly.

“Bella, darling, how is it?” Tanya teased her brother, pouring herself some whiskey. I offered my shot glass to her to fill.

“Great. Thanks,” I giggled.

“You can have this conversation without me here,” Edward said with a bit of bitter bemusement tinting his tone.

“What are you worried about me telling them?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. “All your weird fetishes?”

“Stop,” he laughed, actually turning red.

“You poor sweet innocent vanilla child,” I mocked him, taking a sip of my wine.

“I'm not vanilla,” he said in mock horror.

“Think about what you just said in front of your sisters,” I smirked. “Would you rather win or lose this argument?”

“There is no winning this conversation.” He drank half his wine. Jasper snorted at him, earning a swat on the back of the head. “Shut your fucking face.”

“She's smarter than you,” Jasper teased.

“I've been saying that all along,” Edward threw up one of his hands and snickered at my dirty look. “You're quicker than me.”

“Good. Keep him in line,” Tanya laughed happily, drawing her feet underneath her. “Tony, you can even go first.”

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Never have I ever smoked a tobacco cigarette.”

Jasper and I quickly threw back our drinks, as did Irina and Tanya. Carmen and Sasha hadn't either. Jasper refilled my shot glass for me.

“I'm going to start off mean and say never have I ever surfed on my own,” I told the group, earning a groan as literally all of them drank. “You decided to play.”

“Never have I ever...” Jasper dramatically drew out, making his voice weird and squeaky in that funny way. “Broken something at a friends house and not told them.” He looked directly at Edward. Our boyfriend narrowed his eyes before taking a quick shot.

“We were twelve!” He sassed him.

“Yeah. You still tried to fucking hide it, twat,” he smirked, making me giggle. “I loved that Transformer,” he told me with a pouty face.

“Well, I'll buy you a new one,” Edward mumbled.

“Oh, yes. I'd like that very much.”

Sasha took a shot. "She's clumsy as hell," he pointed at his sister, telling me with a giddy little smirk. If they were going to play this game, he was going to be equally mean to them.

“Yeah, fuck off,” she replied. “Never have ever I jumped off a roof,” she pointed at her brother.

Both Jasper and Edward drank. “You're not driving anywhere,” Carmen told Jasper, pointing at him as she did.

"Fine," he said as if he was complaining, but we knew his bag was already on our bed. It made me happy to know that we would all be in it together soon enough.

Carmen was next. “Never have I ever been arrested.”

Both Jasper and I drank. He laughed hard when I did, happily refilling my shot glass. I clicked my tongue. “I stole everything as a kid. I was a little kleptomaniac. Got caught once. Got two hours of community service. I got caught stealing stickers,” I laughed, rubbing my forehead. “Let me guess... Drunk in public?”

“Well aren’t we a smartie pants,” Jasper smirked at me. “Yeah, in uni. Whoops,” he chuckled with mild embarrassment.

Tanya was pleased with hers. “Never have I ever played Candy Crush.”

Everyone but Tanya drank a shot of hard liquor. “How?” Edward asked her. She just shrugged.

It was Irina's turn. “Never have I ever had surgery.”

Both Edward and I drank, as did Carmen. "I'm switching to wine so I don't die," I told them with a laugh, refilling my shot glass with white wine.

“What surgery did you have?” Irina asked curiously.

“Lots of dental surgery and to fix my jaw,” I rubbed my finger over the scar on my cheek.

“Oh, no! Why?” Carmen said worriedly. “What happened?”

Edward shook his head a little.

“No, it's fine. I was in a car accident when I was five,” I said quickly. “I don't know. I always kinda thought my half Glasgow smile Joker style scar was a little cool.”

“You can barely see it,” Irina replied.

"Oh, I had a ton of micro-dermabrasion when I was a teenager. Ms. Lettie, my guardian, and best friend's mom, was all about those spa days. It looks much better now. Nothing like getting your face literally sanded monthly for years," I laughed. "What surgery did you have?" I asked my boyfriend. Well, one of them.

"I had a hernia as a babe, and it was minor surgery. I don't remember it," he commented. "And, my wisdom teeth."

“That doesn't really count. Most people do.”

"His teeth were horrible." Carmen shook her head. "Poor baby. Your face was so swollen. You were in pain for days."

“That was no fun,” he agreed. He sighed, leaning his head back on the couch as he tried to think of a thing to say. “This is hard. Never have I ever... cheated on a test?”

Jasper drank as did Irina. It was then my turn. “I've never jumped out of a plane.”

“That's cold, baby,” Edward teased me, taking his shot. Jasper took one as well with a sigh. “You might want to consider switching to wine too, darling.”

“Nah, I'm fine.”

“Yeah, okay,” I smirked.

“Alright, if that's how you want to play. Never have I ever been married,” Jasper looked directly at me. All the other women took a shot. I flipped him off, making him chuckle. “I can play dirty, too.”

Sasha was next. You could see it in her face the moment she decided to go for something. “Never have I ever… Hm... kissed someone of the same sex romantically.”

“Why!” Carmen laughed in utter shock at the question.

Irina took a shot quickly. All the siblings turned to look at her at once. She made a little face at them. “I experimented in university. Don't look at me like that.”

I picked up my shot glass and raised it to them. “I'm queer.” I happily drank my wine shot.

“Really?! What does that mean exactly?” Sasha said excitedly, leaning in to hear my answers. These were things they wanted to learn about.

“I like men, women, non-binary. I'm more into personalities than body parts,” I said with a little smile. “Pansexual technically but I like the term queer better honestly. I kind of feel it fits my personality more. Oh, your mom is going to hate me forever,” I laughed, turning to look at Edward with a little pout. “I’ll always be the evil old brown American queer atheist loudly banging her perfect darling baby boy.”

“Well, her loss.” He stroked my cheek. Then he took his shot. “She can just hate us both, then.”

“Ha ha! I knew it!" Sasha said dramatically.

“You know nothing,” Edward replied back with a smirk. He refilled his shot glass with wine, too. He didn’t need to get too drunk, especially right then.

“Sasha,” Carmen hissed at her younger sister. “What if he wasn't ready to tell us? We’ve talked about this.”

“He could have just not said anything at all. And don't act like you didn't think it, too!” Sasha said back. “We’ve all been dying to ask him.”

“Hey!” Their brother snapped at them as his face turned bright red. So red that it was almost purple.

“There is nothing wrong with being gay,” Irina said quickly.

“I realize that. It’s not that. I have a problem with you talking about my sex life at all,” he pointed out. “And I've been talking non-stop about a woman for months. So, I don't know what you think you know. Because it is obviously fucking wrong.”
.
In the chaos, Jasper took his shot and refilled his shot glass with wine. No one even noticed him because the family was too focused on one another in a sort of staring standoff.

“Tell us then,” Tanya encouraged finally. She leaned forward.

“Why did you think I was gay?” He asked her instead. “I was with Vicky for years.”

“You hardly even held hands!” Irina pointed to us. We were pressed together, cuddled up very close.

“That's because she hated it!” He defended himself. “She hated PDA of any sort.”

“She doesn't hate it with James,” Carmen mumbled under her breath and took a sip of her wine.

“Pardon?” Edward sat up a little bit, his voice suddenly deeper.

The three sisters looked at the oldest of them with large, surprised, somewhat angry eyes. Irina hissed, “Car!”

“What? He's happy now! He doesn't care about her.”

“Oh, good. I have an even better reason to dislike him now,” I smiled over at Jasper who was frowning deeply. I pushed him with my foot. “Hey, fuck him. Right?”

“Right,” he smiled at me and patted my ankle.

“Yes, fuck him,” Edward mumbled. “Fuck them both, actually. Hey, and don't try to distract me. Why did you think I was gay?” He pressed his sisters. “I’m- I didn't- I still-” He stopped. “You know what? You're all too curious. You don't need the details. This is none of your business.”

"We thought she was your beard," Tanya said quickly. "For Mum. You know how much she loved Victoria. I mean... you never lived together. And, you weren't like this." She waved her hand between Edward and me. "It's like you had an iron rod up your ass every time you were with her."

“That's because, obviously, she wasn't the right person for me,” he replied, pulling me tighter to his side. He kissed the top of my head. “My beard for Mum. Rude,” he mumbled into my hair. “Could have just asked me.”

I pulled back to look at him, dragging my fingers through his facial hair over his cheek to his chin. He smiled at me happily.

“So, all of this is just for me?”

“Yup.” He kissed my forehead. “Beautiful soul.”

“Are you seriously already talking about having kids?” Tanya asked, already done with the idea of waiting for her turn in the game to find a pointed question for us. Her cheeks were tinted pink with from the drinks.

“Like starting a week ago. Jesus, chill.” He looked at his sister with wide eyes. “Like in the distant future. After we get engaged and married. In that order.”

"It better be in that order because I'm going to be mad otherwise," I sassed. "At you and me. I need to be on birth control again like yesterday because seeing you with your nieces makes all my hormones kick into overdrive. My douchebag uterus is like ‘hey, we could definitely put a baby in here now. It’ll be fun.’” I poked my stomach.

“Oh, yes it will be,” he agreed with a smirk, taking a drink from his wine glass.

“If you put a child in me before we get married, I swear I will punch you in your pretty face.”

“Not on purpose!” He laughed, putting his hands up defensively.

“Ah huh.” I gave him a dirty look. “I’m getting an IUD when we get back to LA. I’ll go to the eye doctor and dentist, too. Have one long terrible day and get my doctor’s appointment out of the way for a while. I’ve been putting them off for ages.”

"Let me know, and I'll go with you," he promised me sweetly before pressing a comforting kiss on my forehead. "I'll come to hold your hand."

“Thank you.” I pressed my face into his chest.

“Of course.” He brushed his finger under my jaw.

“So, when will you have the wedding and where?” Tanya asked with a big grin.

“I don’t want a wedding,” I said quietly, my face still pressed to right where his tattoo was.

“We’ll elope,” he promised me.

“Aw!” Irina and Sasha said at the same time. “But-”

"No! She doesn't want one, so there won't be one. I don't care if we get hitched behind a bin by a hobo while wearing rubbish bags so what she wants goes," he told his sisters. "And, I'll not allow you to badger her into one because you want to play dress up with my poor bride."

“I’ll at least still look pretty for you. I just probably won’t be wearing white,” I smirked. “Maybe I’ll wear that suit.”

“Oh, that suit,” he said with a little bit of longing. “I’d be okay with that. You were breathtaking.”

Edward then pulled out his phone and brought up a picture of me with Alice and Rosalie the night of the show at the gay club. Though they had the same face, my twin sisters looked wildly different. Where Alice had short curly black hair, Rosalie still had her natural blond hair. It was long and went past her shoulders in golden waves. We all looked totally different. I stood in the middle in my nice suit and red tie, my hair pulled back neatly. He showed it first to Jasper with a raised eyebrow before passing it to his sisters.

“Can I scroll?” Tanya asked, looking at his pictures.

“Yes, I don’t have anything too dirty on my phone,” he smirked slightly. “Right after those are the ones from the sunrise on the ferry.”

“Oh, look, Irina!” His sister took control of the phone and began to look through all of his pictures while all the other sisters leaned over to look too. “Bella, they’re mainly of you,” Tanya laughed.

“Well, she’s so pretty. I love taking pictures of her,” Edward smiled at her charmingly.

“You like to take pictures of my butt and send them to your best friend,” I teased. “Before we were even dating too, according to Jasper’s phone.”

“Yes, he did,” Jasper said with a silly smile that made me giggle. “In his defense though… dat ass.”

“You’re both children,” I laughed. “And, thank you. I do so many squats every morning.”

“You should see her workout,” Edward said over the top of my head to his sisters. “She can do all these push-ups. One arm behind her back, on her fingertips. Which, I can’t do, by the way. I swear she benches more than her own weight, too.”

"Um, well, when I got back to the gym I got to one twenty-five. I've maxed out the leg press machine at the gym though," I said with a proud smile. "Probably not right now because I haven't been in weeks, but when we get back to the states I wanna go to the gym and do yoga again."

“Oh, you do yoga?” Sasha said excitedly. “I love it so much. We,” she pointed between her sisters, “do it twice a week.”

"My therapist recommended it. I used to do it just for stretching, but it's relaxing, too. Plus it makes me super flexible again."

"Yay," Edward said under his breath, earning a snicker from Jasper. He swatted him on the back of the head, but he just laughed more.

“Oh, god. Stop.” I looked between them. I realized they were both quite drunk already. They had too many shots too quickly. I was a little drunk myself. “You two better behave when we’re all living under the same roof because you’re going to quickly find out how spicy I can be. I’m not going to be your mum.”

“You’re spicy like a peppermint,” Jasper said a bit wickedly.

“Oh, I think that’s an insult,” I told him, pointing at his nose. “You slice of white bread covered in vegemite.”

“Oh ho ho, okay,” he laughed at me. I poked his nose with my finger. “It’s not like I don’t already know who is going to be in charge.”

“Oh, please,” I snorted.

“Someone needs to be in charge,” Edward smirked.

“And, that’s you. Thank you for volunteering to be the leader,” I told him as I raised my glass. “I better not be in charge of nothing,” I said to him, my accent getting thick because of the liquor. “I almost ended up homeless because I am so terrible at being in charge sooo…” I drew out. “I’ll be in charge of being the tiny cute one in this weird ass boy gang you insist on having around. Hire some damn girls.”

Edward laughed, “yes, ma’am. Actually, tell him. That’s going to be part of his job.”

I turned my head to Jasper. “Hire some damn girls. Preferably some women of color.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he smiled at him. “I’ll see what I can do, dove.”

“You need to add him to our Google Drive thing,” I informed Edward. “Since he’s going to be a part of that madness. He should see all our notes and dumb shit we’ve been sending each other for the past three months or so.”

"Ah, yeah. You're right. He's seen some of it. We have our own, too." He looked over at Jasper. "I'll do that later. I need to think about how I want to do things on the channel. So many things are changing soon. It's good though," he said excitedly. "You can do your cooking videos, and we can add music stuff into it soon. Then you and Seth can do some true crime and supernatural stuff. Tyler can do his movie videos and reviews. Jasper can do more of his video game ones. We'll keep doing ranking videos and taste tests all together… and god, I have so many ideas," he said with a big grin.

Irina smiled at her brother. “I still can’t believe YouTube led to this.”

“Neither can I,” Carmen agreed. “I am so glad I got you that video camera for your birthday when you like thirteen.”

“Me, too,” he told his oldest sister happily. “That started everything that led me to my sweet Isabella.”

“Try hard,” I whispered before kissing him on the lips lightly. “Man, you still sound like a cheesy song lyric,” I flirted with him.

"Oh, you love it," he used my accent, flirting back. This time it was actually pretty close. It made me flustered, and I looked away with red cheeks. "Oh, you do. You love it so much."

“You know what? Shut it,” I pointed at him playfully. He nipped at my finger, making me giggle. I shifted over to lay my head on Jasper’s shoulder. “You’ll not bite me, will you?”

“Not in front of company,” he answered me, putting an arm around my shoulder playfully.

I laughed loudly, shocked. “Rude.”

“Don’t bite my girlfriend!” Edward snorted. “She’ll bite back and probably leave marks,” he said under his breath. “You’d probably need stitches.”

"Damn right." I took my shot of wine before putting more wine in my actual glass, sitting in between them in the middle. "I'm feisty."

Oh, no. We were so drunk in front of his sisters. And it was their plan all along.

“So I see,” Jasper smirked.

“So, when do you think you’ll be able to come back again, Tony?” Tanya asked, pulling the conversation in a different direction. Thank God. We chatted with his sisters for two hours before their husbands came back to get them because they were all too drunk to go anywhere on their own also.

I watched Edward stand in the doorway to wave them off as I laid on the couch with my feet on Jasper now that they had left. When they were out of the house, he began to massage his hand up my calf. It was just after eleven in the evening.

“If you two don’t stop flirting so much it won’t take very long for them to figure out what’s happening between us,” I teased him.
“I can’t help it. You’re both so cute. I’ve always flirted with everyone though. It’s Tony that the problem here. He’s the obvious one,” Jasper joked with a sweet smile on his face.

“Oh, please,” he laughed. “They’re too shocked to find out that I’m not as gay as they originally thought to notice. Christ, they’re a handful.”

“You know they think that you two were a couple already, right? They thought Vicky was your pretend-girlfriend while you were obviously living with your real partner. I mean, I certainly confused them, I think. Now they’re not sure.”

Edward opened his mouth then closed it. Opened it again. Shut it.

“Oh… You think?”

“Um, yeah.”

“But, they’re wrong,” he pointed out to me.

I rolled my eyes hard. "It's because you two idiots are obviously into each other and have been for years. Good grief. He calls you darling, and you two wrestle like you're three seconds from making out. And this is shit you’re willing to do in front of people."

“Are we that obvious?” Jasper asked. I cocked my head to the side, making him laugh. “Maybe we are idiots. Wanna make out with us anyway?”

“Yeah.” I hopped up off the couch and took his hand. I took my other boyfriend’s hand as well and led them back to the room we were sharing for the night.

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