Imperfectpictures

5/21/2019

(IPFF) Episode Fifteen: Wings

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Episode Fifteen: Wings

Trigger warnings for mentions of death and murder

The next day Edward had some filming planned out and about with Tyler and Seth. They were going to do a couple of food videos at restaurants and then later in the day he had a video shoot at the old LA zoo. It was abandoned, and it was supposed to be haunted. He was doing it for Halloween. I was extremely excited about it. It was at Griffin Park, not far from the new zoo where we had spent our lovely Sunday together just a few days before.

“You should see if you can do a video on the Museum of Death,” I commented as I made coffee for us while we were waiting for Seth and Tyler to arrive. “Get a little tour.”

“That is a good idea,” he agreed, pulling out his phone to type something into it. “I wish we could do it before Halloween.”

“That kind of stuff is popular all the time. You can always do it for next Halloween, too.”

“That’s true.”

The boys knocked once before letting themselves inside.

"Well, look who's still here!" Tyler said brightly as he plopped his stuff down onto the big brown couch. He smiled so wide his eyes all but disappeared. It was hard not to return it.

“Yeah, they canceled my flight because of the weather. But, it works out. I'm going to take a little vacation,” I explained to him.

"Nice." Seth high fived me as he came into the kitchen. I gave him some coffee, which he eagerly took. "So, is Eddie letting you crash here since you're practically one of us now?"

“One of us. One of us,” Tyler chanted dryly. Edward rolled his eyes at them.

“Yes, of course, she's staying here. She is welcome to stay as long as she pleases,” Edward told them, tossing Tyler his keys so he could drive to the first shoot.

“So, is he putting you to work?” Seth asked. “Are you joining our little crew?”

“How is this work? It's so much fun,” I told him then pointed over to my camera stuff on the table. “I'm going to take pictures. But for me.”

“And, of course, you can be in the videos, if you want,” Edward said sleepily as he stretched. “I hope you'll be. If you want to be... It'll be more fun if you are. The ones I've posted with you in it have done very well so far, too.”

Seth and Tyler exchanged looks that Edward missed behind his back, but I did not. I smiled at them both but said nothing. I just sipped my coffee.

Our first spot was a pastry place that had recently gotten rather internet famous for their unique cakes. We talked to the owner and the head chefs. I got to ask a lot of questions about baking cakes I hadn't made or even tasted before. We helped make a fruit and nut cake and then iced chocolate cupcakes.

Edward essentially made a mess with a piping bag filled with chocolate frosting while I made delicate, simple little roses with mine. The pastry chef, a little old Japanese woman, complimented my basic decorating skills while trying adorably to be encouraging to him, but correct firmly at the same time. I would bet she was a fun grandma. She kept saying ‘no, no, no,” quietly to him. She even smacked Edward’s hand once. It was perfect for his video. His bemused shock was hilarious.

We got to try five different cakes. Chocolate ganache, black forest, citrus upside down cake, carrot cake, and a fruit and nut like we had made before. They were all good, but the citrus was my favorite. Pineapple upside down cake was my favorite kind of cake I didn't have often enough. Alice didn't like it, so I usually ended up eating it all myself. Her favorite was chocolate, so that's usually what I made us.

The next video was at a chicken wing place known for their seriously spicy wings. They had ‘spice flights’ with a range not for the faint of heart. Or, so the sign said. You could smell the spice as soon as you came into the restaurant. It was sinus clearing. It almost reminded me of the smell of a crawfish restaurant down south.

The chef looked happy and ready to burn out the taste buds of anyone willing to risk it. I wasn't too worried though, even if we had to sign some sort of waver. Alice and I shared a shelf of hot sauce at home. I hadn’t really noticed if Edward liked spicy things though.

I sat to the right of Eddie with Seth on the other side of him for the challenge. It was ten wings, each getting spicier as they went. We each had a glass of milk, and there was a pitcher of milk on the table, just in case we needed it.

“I think I already regret this,” Edward mumbled when we sat at the table. “Why am I this kind of stupid?”

I snorted to myself.

“So, I'm lactose intolerant,” Seth said as he looked at the full glass.

“You ate all that cake earlier,” I looked over at him, horrified. “With buttercream and cream cheese. Why?”

“I'm also stupid and like to suffer,” he laughed as they laid the flights down in front of us.

“So, before we get started... Do you like spicy foods?” The chef asked to get our attention. He was a large round white man with a slicked back ponytail at the bottom of his balding head.

“I do,” Seth said quickly.

Edward looked less enthusiastic about his answer. "I like spicy food, but I do have a limit, and I do suffer very easily.”

"I like heat," I admitted. "It has to be more about the flavor. It can't just burn, though. I think I have a pretty high tolerance, though."

“So, here is the challenge. You have twenty minutes to eat all ten wings without any ranch or blue cheese. If you do, you get your picture on the wall and a tee shirt. Also, you can't throw up before we take your picture.”

Oh, that wasn’t a good sign of things to come.

“Antacids for everyone,” Edward looked pained already as he smelled the heat wafting up. The aroma was red hot spicy.

When they started the clock, I decided it was going to be easier to eat the spiciest of them first. It was a surprisingly thick and dark sauce that was very sticky. I tried it first on my fingers, and it had a subtle sweetness to it, and it tickled the back of my throat. The heat came in slowly, hitting the roof of my mouth pleasantly.

I ate it without a problem and licked the sauce off my fingers before it could start to burn them. My eyes watered a bit, but otherwise, I was fine. The top of my head buzzed some and my lips tingle, but I had eaten hotter before.

“Oh, goddammit!” Edward said when he realized what I was doing. “That’s not fair.”

“What?” Seth looked over and actually gasped. “But, why?”

"I liked it. It made my lips feel weird," I told them as I picked up the second spiciest. This sauce was thinner, green, with large bits of garlic. Since the last wasn't a problem, I decided to take a big bite. I didn't like the flavor as much, but I liked thicker sauces. After I finished, I took a little sip of milk to get the heavy garlic taste out of my mouth. This one made the roof of my mouth prickly with sensation.

Apparently, me going straight for it made the boys try to rush through their own wings. They were on their fourth or fifth and had already gone through half their drinks. Edward was panting already, his chest heaving. Seth had gotten milk all over his chin and shirt.

I just shook my head. They were heathens.

Wings eight, seven, and six were probably my favorite. They were hot Nashville chicken themed. Five and four were bright red like a traditional Buffalo wing, but the flavors were surprisingly different. Honestly, the first couple wasn’t at all that spicy to me. I could at least see why others found the others too hot. You usually have to build up a pretty good tolerance to eat stuff that spicy and not be bothered by it.

I finished in less than fifteen minutes, just eating as I normally would. Seth gave up at wing seven, claiming it was too hot for him. Almost angrily, too. He actually threw the wing down onto his plate with a splat. I reached over and took his leftovers while Edward was literally crying over six. Crying. Tears were just overflowing from his eyes and running in rivers down his cheeks.

“That's not okay!” Edward told me as I munched on the rest of Seth's food, drinking his milk in big gulps. I ignored him and smiled directly at the camera.

“Gringo.” I shook my head. “Do you use any of these sauces to make sandwiches?” I asked the chef as he watched on, still ignoring Edward's suffering. He was so dramatic.

Though his face was red and he was visibly sweating. I'm not sure how much he could encourage that.

“Any sauce you like can be used on our chicken sandwiches,” the chef told me.

I pointed to eight, “this one would be dope with some good sweet pickles. Maybe a side of mac and cheese. Hawaiian roll or a nice kaiser. Maybe some slaw.”

“We can do that for you,” the cook replied. “We marinate our meat in homemade bread and butter pickle juice actually that we make in-house.”

“I'd like to try some of those.”

“Let me get you some.”

“Thanks,” I grinned.

When I looked over at Edward, I realized he was very quiet. He had finally moved onto nine, but his eyes were wide, and it was obvious that he was starting to hear colors. His milk was close to empty, so I refilled his glass for him. Seth was now cramming chips in his mouth from a basket on the table in the hopes of cooling the fire. Not that he would say that was what he was doing because he kept announcing that he was fine. Just fine. Just fucking fine, thank you very much.

Tyler was clearly enjoying watching them make fools of themselves while I carried on a normal conversation with the chef.

“And you make all the sauces in-house as well? You sell them by the bottle, right?” I asked when he came back with the pickles. I liked them, they were very crisp and refreshing after the spicy chicken. I could feel the little spicy high tingling pleasantly at the back of my brain.

"Yup, you can buy them in the store, or you can order a bottle online and have it ship to you anywhere in the world."

“I’m guessing the link is down in the description below,” I said for the camera. Tyler nodded behind the film equipment. But then I realized he was watching Edward. I glanced over at him.

Edward took one small bite of the tenth wing. He put it down and said, “no. No... no. No. Nono.” And then drank an entire glass of milk while standing up then sitting back down with a heavy thump that sounded as if it almost broke the chair. He put his face in his hands. He was still crying.

Such a drama queen.

“So, the spiciest is it like... ghost pepper? Or, is a reaper?” I tasted the sauce with my finger from my plate. “It feels like both so I don't know.”

The chef was pleased I knew from the taste. It was a mix.

Edward got up and had a little walk around the restaurant. He wasn't coming back for more to eat.

“Ten out of ten would eat again with some ranch maybe next time,” I told the chef as I reached over and picked up the rest of Edward's wing. I wasn't going to let it go to waste. I took the part he had taken a bite and rubbed it into the sauce. Edward literally began to hug his legs while standing, bending over as he muttered something to himself. Tears streamed down onto his shirt. I shook my head. “It's really delicious,” I assured the chef.

"How?" Edward demanded angrily. I handed him a napkin and pointed to his nose, which was running. Poor thing.

“Some people just... can?" I shrugged. I had always eaten spicy things. I used to eat straight jalapenos from my grandma's garden as a kid, much to everyone's horror. I finished the wing, but honestly, my head was getting a little light, too. I was getting a buzz, and my nose was clearer than it had been in months. I wasn't going to tell him that though, especially after the scene he was making. I took another little sip of my milk.

“Dammit, it hurts,” he moaned, putting his hand on his chest.

I turned in my seat to watch him. “Baby, it's too early in the day to be dying over some chicken wings.”

“Why do I do these things to myself?” He asked me angrily. “What is wrong with me?”

"Because it's funny as fuck to watch us suffer?" Seth offered. He was still sweaty, but he wasn't visibly wiggling in his spot anymore. He also gave up sooner, though. He had already eaten several of his lactose pills. His farts were going to kill someone later. Hopefully, much later.

Edward tried to straighten up, but he had his hands on his hips to help hold himself up. He blinked several times, his eyes watering still. “And if you want to see Seth, Tyler, and I suffer some more like this remember to like, subscribe, and fucking whatever else you have to do. Goddamn… Dude, she destroyed us. What the fuck...”

“I think I might have lost my man card today,” Seth mumbled in joking annoyance. I smiled at him too brightly.

“Yeah, I think I might have lost mine as well. Goddammit,” Edward agreed. I rolled my eyes. Masculinity was so damn fragile.

“Don't worry, honey. I got it in my purse. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a picture to take for a wall.” I did an ironic sassy hair flip, giving a big kiss on the cheek to a gaping Edward. I stunned him into silence with my sarcasm. His mouth snapped shut in a pout. Seth and Tyler appreciated my burn heartily at his expense.

I took my picture with the chef, me standing on a box so that we were closer in height. It was usually used for the kids. But since I had been the only one to achieve the flight, no one teased me for it. Seth and Tyler were too busy ragging on Edward still.
Tyler drove. Edward ate half a roll of Tums in the backseat. Seth had the other half. I ate a cookie I had gotten at the pastry place earlier. It was white chocolate macadamia nut. I shared it with Tyler. Seth gave us all dirty looks. Probably because his stomach was already audibly rolling and popping.

We took a private haunted tour of the old LA zoo with a local historian who spoke about the hauntings around Los Angeles. I asked about the Cecil Hotel hauntings in the middle of the tour to which the little old historian lady got very excited.
Honestly, she and the chef both told me their name, but for some reason, I instantly forgot them because my mind was Swiss cheese. Edward was brilliant at it though, luckily. But he was still very new to LA.

“I don't know what that is,” Edward admitted.

“It's called something else now. Stay on Main or something. It's a hotel by skid row that's had a bunch of famous suicides and accidents. And a lot of killers have stayed there. The Night Stalker for one. Then there was that poor girl in the tank recently.” I shuddered as I remembered the story from the news. That one always grossed me out.

“Girl in a tank?” He asked, confused. “What kind of tank? I’m confused.”

"A young woman was found dead in the hotel's water tank, completely undressed. They only found her after the water began to turn black, and the guest began to complain of the bad taste," the woman told him almost gleefully. She enjoyed her job. I liked her. She was dark.

“Holy hell!” Edward exclaimed with large eyes. You could practically see the color drain from his face.

"There is a video where she looks like she's having a conversation with demons you can't see in the elevator before. Poor girl," I said to him. It was probably one of the weirder parts of the story. LA had a ton of bizarre crimes.

“From the security camera,” Seth chimed in from behind his camera. “I think someone was chasing her.”

"I don't think we'll ever know," I said thoughtfully. "Like the Black Dahlia. But, I think there are quite a few credible suspects in that one at least. There was definitely a slashy type killer in LA at the time though, and I'm kind of surprised we don't talk about it more like the Zodiac killer."

"You know your true crime history!" The woman said happily. "You are very right. California has its share of unknown killers. The massive expanse and highways make it a perfect spot for killing. It's believed that there are around two thousand active serial killers in the United States at any given time, and the West coast has a good portion of them."

“Two thousand! Surely not. God, that makes me want to move back to Australia. Or, at least to Canada,” Edward said in repulsion at the idea of it.

“Canada has the Trail of Tears. Dozens of Native women dead on the side of the roads. And millionaire pig farmers who feed their victims to hogs. And, Please. Australia has some pretty wild killers, too. Like, extra disturbed human skin curtains kind of bonkers,” I shared some of my unholy knowledge with him.

"How do you know so much about this?" Edward asked me, a little concerned if I was going, to be honest.

“I've read three true crime books just this week. I've probably read all of them at the New York Public Library. I borrow them on audiobook and listen to them while I edit,” I explained to them both. “And I’ve been listening to murder podcasts for ages, too.”

“Which books?” The woman asked, happy to have someone truly interested in something she obviously loved.

“A Stranger Beside Me again, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, and a book about Carl Panzram. I've also brought one about Ed Gein. I've listened to them all before, honestly,” I told her. ”These are just some of my favorites.”

“A Stranger Beside Me is so good,” she said almost wistfully. “She was so lucky.”

“What's it about? You mentioned it the other day. You said it was your favorite,” Edward questioned. This part was definitely not going in a video. I can't imagine how much shit he had to cut out of every video of us just talking and being stupid.

“A former cop turned crime writer who worked beside Ted Bundy on a suicide hotline. It's a true story. She never thought he was the killer even after talking to the police, telling them that he had the same car as the killer... He seemed too nice. He was a monster, of course. He killed forty-something women,” I told him only the most basic details. He didn't want to know these things.

“You seem very well-educated about true crime history,” the lady complimented me about my morbid knowledge. I couldn't imagine I was the only one who knew these things. The book was a bestseller after all.

“Thanks... I think. I've always been a little obsessed with death," I said a little bit shyly. I wanted to explain this to him, so he knew what he was getting into. "I grew up within sight of the cemetery my mom and grandparents are buried, and I went all the time. I'd sit at my mom's grave. Pick all the wildflowers in the fields around it and cover it completely. Spend hours and hours talking to the graves. I was a dark kid, too."

Edward smoothed a comforting hand up my back and brushed some hair away from my shoulder. I leaned my head against him for just a moment. It was such a comforting action.

The little old woman leaned in. "Was your mother murdered?" She said it almost as a whisper. Edward's eyes got comically larger, and he looked over at Tyler and Seth who was filming in an equal stupor.

I laughed out of sheer shock, “no, ma'am. I'm not that dark. I've just always been followed by death.”

“Nope. Not dark at all.” He squeezed me by the waist and led me along to the next part of the tour.

Poor horrified man. Whoops...

When we walked back to the car in the dark, Seth asked if we were a thing. He waved between us with a pointed finger, walking backward as he did.

“Probably not now that I've revealed my creepy pastime,” I told Seth with a laugh. He cursed and muttered something under his breath. He then pulled out his wallet and gave Tyler a twenty dollar bill. “What?” I asked.

“I bet you two would get together before you left,” Tyler explained. “And you haven't left yet. See, I told you they liked each other.”

“I never disagreed about that. Just about whether it would happen or not,” Seth replied.

“You're betting on my love life? Some friends you are.” Edward opened the car door for me up front and took the keys so he could drive home. “That doesn't seem very nice.”

“I just figured she was too good for you,” Seth teased him.

Edward stopped for a second to consider his friend's words. “Oh. Well. Yes. You're not wrong.”

I shook my head wildly. “He is,” I commented. “You are wrong. I'm not too good for anyone.”

“No, I'm okay with being unworthy.” He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. I had to fight my urge not to roll my eyes or giggle like a schoolgirl. I pulled my hand away to rest it on my lap, looking out of the window to hide my smirk.