Episode Eighty-seven: Trust me

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Next: Episode 87

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Episode Eighty-seven: Trust me

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It was late that night when Jasper called me again, but Edward still wasn't back from set yet. I spent most of that time cooking, cleaning, and working. I prepped some dinners for later and made him some frozen burritos to have whenever he wanted them. It wasn't enough to keep my mind busy, though. 

“Hi. How are you?” I asked Jasper worriedly. 

"Mm," he hummed quietly. "I don't know, really. Weird. Unhappy and frustrated. I did just watch Tony accept his awards again, though. So that helps." 

I brought my thumb up to my mouth, chewing on it for a second. “Wasn’t he sweet?” I insisted with a little smile. It was quiet on the other end for a long minute. 

“He said that he loved me. Out loud. To the world, Bella,” he stated, his voice almost flat. “He said that he loves both of us.”

“Are you really surprised?”

“Yes,” he laughed anxiously. “Do you really think he does?”

I didn’t have to think about it. “Of course.” I shook my head, playing with the edge of my shorts as I spoke to him. “I know he does.”

“That’s not how I meant,” he replied quietly. 

I sighed. “I know what you think that I mean. But he does. He is very much in love with you and has been for a very long time. He might not be ready for it yet. To admit it. It’s probably scary and a lot. This… this type of relationship is hard when it’s just for fun. Love is overwhelming, and you see how passionate he is.”

Jasper let out a long breath. “I wish it were easier. How does that make you feel? He’s your-”

I had to stop him right away. “He’s ours. Jasper, I want it to be all of us, together. I know it started as Eddie and Bella, but it also began with Tony and Jasper. And, you know, if anything… I’m the intruder in this relationship. You two needed me to open your eyes. But now they are.”

“Please don’t think that I want to replace you. I don’t. I swear to you-” he declared very quickly, clearly upset. 

“I know!” I laughed sadly then sighed. “I really do. I promise. You two are just so good together. But he and I are great together, too.”

“I think we’re superb together, too. You and me. And altogether,” he replied sweetly. 

"So do I. So, I know that it must be frustrating to feel like the third wheel, but you're not to me. Or to him either. You're an amazing man, and I am so glad that you have been my friend in the past month. Your comfort means so much to me." 

Jasper paused, and I could almost see his pretty smile in his tone. “Me too, dove. I mean it. And if I can’t be anything else, I want to, at least, be a good friend to you. Always.”

“You know you’re on the top of that list now, right? It’s a good one, too,” I teased. “It’s very prestigious.” 

He chuckled warmly before saying in a soft voice, "it's an honor to be on it at all. By the way, tell Tony thanks for the cookies, yeah? They were very thoughtful."  

“I will,” I promised. 

"I don't know what I did to deserve you both, but I feel fortunate right now. I am spoiled in a way I don't think I have been before. And I want you to know that I am going to give you the biggest kiss when I see you next." 

I could only smile as I imagined it. “Mm, you better. You owe us both lots of kisses right now,” I teased again. My phone beeped loudly in my ear. “Mm, it seems like Tony is calling. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

"Okay. Kiss him goodnight for me." 

"I will," I swore before I switched calls. "Hello there, handsome."  

“Mm, hello beautiful. Do I need to stop for anything on the way home?” He asked wearily. Edward was obviously exhausted from his long day and from not being able to sleep. So was I, and I knew I didn’t do nearly as much as he did. 

“No. I’m just ready to have you in my arms again.”

He sighed in relief at my answer. “Perfect. That’s exactly what I need, too.”     

We went straight into our bed almost as soon as Edward finished eating his second bowl of soup. He was drained from his long day and depressed from Jasper’s canceled vacation time. He brought a handful of cookies with him, laying against the headboard as he pouted a little bit. 

"I bet it was easy to be a moody, sarcastic vampire today," I said lightly as I laid my head on his shoulder and smiled up at him slightly. He offered me a bite of the shortbread before kissing away some of the chocolate from my cheek, wiping the rest off with his thumb.  

He nodded a little. "Ah, yes. I mastered brooding today for sure," he chuckled quietly. "Can I ask you something?" Edward questioned a little more seriously.  

“You already know the answer to that.”

“Why is giving you or him money such a big deal? I don’t understand. I have all that I could ever want. Seriously. I’m a good businessman, and I swear to you that we will all be very well taken care of for the rest of our lives… So will our kids. Our grandchildren and great-grandchildren if I do it right. If you two just let me. I want you both to just let me,” he ranted. I let him fizzle himself out. 

I sighed, thinking about my answer. “I know you do. I just don’t want to take anything I don’t deserve, though. Neither does Jasper.”

“But he does! You do too! I wouldn’t be giving it away without reason,” he stated in frustration.

Laughing, I looked away. "I don't deserve money just for dating you, honey. I love you, but that's not how that works." 

Edward quickly shook my head, displeased with my answer. “Today, I know you cooked several meals worth of food. I know you cleaned, too. People get paid to do that.”

“I live here. I’m eating it, too. People don’t get paid for feeding themselves.”

“Sweetheart, when are you going to understand that time is money? The more skills and talent you have, the more your time is worth. Your time is worth a whole fucking lot. I already pay someone to clean this place. I could pay someone to cook for us if you wanted, too. Or we could order food more. Or get a service. You could easily pimp yourself as a personal chef and make at least a hundred thousand a year. Or open your own restaurant. You have skills that are worth paying for because I see your value. And those aren’t even the things you can do for the channel. Jasper has different skills that have value to me that I am also willing to pay for. Any money that I have ever spent on you or him, gifts or otherwise, has already come back to me tenfold at least. I’m not stupid. This is an investment in our future happiness and stability.”

“I understand Jasper more than me, to be honest. For the channel at least.”

He made a face. "Even with getting signed? And after giving me access to all of your music and pictures? Do you know how many I have already used? At least a dozen bits of your songs in different things, and it's like you have the perfect thumbnail already for everything. Videos you did not star in, but you will make money off of as well because you put work into them." 

“And I’m almost ready to give you my charity research,” I informed him softly. 

Edward took a bite of his shortbread cookie and chewed for a moment, leaning his temple on the top of my head. “You don’t have to rush. I have charities lined up already for the next three months. I know that kind of research is tedious.”

"I know, but it's not hard, and I'm actually pretty good at it. I understand how nonprofits work." 

Nodding a little, he smiled proudly. “I know you are. You’re good at anything you put your mind to,” he asserted warmly. He took another bite, slowly nibbling at it before he sighed. “Bella, does he not really want to come?”

"He does," I promised. "Trust me. Jasper does so badly he's seriously considering wounding his pride to do so, but what would you do to not become your mother? The person she is?" 

“Anything, but accepting help won’t make him his father. He could never be that kind of man.”

I shrugged. "And all we can do is keep reassuring him of that, but it doesn't come easy. Jasper feels like he's failing at taking care of even just himself when in reality, he's a victim of his situation. He’s just stubborn and proud." 

“Like you?” 

Sighing, I shrugged once more. "I would have gotten myself out of my hole without you eventually. I was already close. Just a few thousand to pay off the last of our credit card debt. But the security that came from it…" I trailed off. "I don't know what I'm saying. I can just understand his hesitation, but I get your frustration because I want to help him, too." 

Edward chuckled to himself for a moment. “He doesn’t know what to do with himself when you offer him money like that. He’s touched by the gesture but so horrified by the idea of it at the same time. He’s used to me. I don’t think he was ready for your level of generosity, though. You would give your last cent to help.” 

"Well, like you said… any money I spend is going to come back to me tenfold. It just might not be in the form of cash. It might be companionship, friendship, or affection. I want my friend out of a miserable situation, and I know we can make him happier." 

He nodded for a second slowly, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, we can.” Edward grinned cheerfully, pulling back to look at me for a moment. “I know all of this is weird and different, but… that’s one of the reasons I was attracted to you in the first place. You’re a little weird and different, like me. Like him. I felt like we just fit together when we were in Sydney. In our own strange way.”

“It did,” I agreed. I let out a little light breath of my own. “I never thought when I jokingly told him that he could kiss you if he got a chance, but that I wanted to watch, that it would actually happen. Or that you would like it.”

I could see a blush rising on his cheeks. "I had been fantasizing about it for a while, but I didn't realize that I was going to like it that much." He finished his last cookie, putting it into his mouth whole. Edward swallowed before he spoke again. "I keep thinking about the things I want him to do to me now. And to him. The things I want to do with the three of us together. My mind is constantly in the gutter." 

“Ooo... Like?” I asked with a big smile. He flushed a brighter red, making me giggle. “Tell me.”

He sighed, looking away as he continued to be embarrassed. “I want you both to play with my ass. I love it when you touch and grab it. I want…”  He trailed off. 

“You want…?”

“I want to do everything,” he finally looked at me when he spoke. Edward shrugged. “I don’t know how else to say it. I loved fucking him. And he deserves to feel that, too. I’m terrified for the first time, though.”

I nodded. I could certainly understand why that might have scared him. Neither of them was small. I had been nervous as well. “We could start slowly with fingers and toys.”

“I’ve liked what we’ve done so far. I know we haven’t done much, but… Yeah, that’s what I was kind of hoping for. And maybe we could get a strap on? Before he comes,” he averted his eyes when he said the last couple of sentences.    

I laughed, nodding my head vigorously. “Yay.” 

“If you don’t want to-” he began quickly. 

"Oh, baby, do I want to. I'm about to say something that is very unlike me… I have always wanted a really good strap-on but wasn't willing to spend too much on experimenting. It might be a good idea to get a few of them to try out." 

His smile grew so wide. “Bella tries strap-ons? Wow, these rating videos are insane.” I snorted at his answer. 

“And if you don’t like it… Well, I can fuck Jasper with them. I know he’ll enjoy it,” I replied. “So, it won’t be a waste either way.” 

“Oh, fuck,” he whispered to himself. “I didn’t even think about that. That is so hot. You could take him from behind while I fuck his mouth.” 

I giggled softly, leaning over to lightly kiss his ear. “You’re assuming I’m going to be good at it.”

"I'm just assuming that my sexy partners will put on a good show like they always do and I really want to watch his face as he begs for it. Besides, hopefully, we'll have loads of time to practice." 

Gently, I traced my fingers down the bend of his arm, still playing with his ear. “Oh, you think I’ll make him beg for it?” I asked in a sultry voice. 

“Mm, yes. I do.” 

I moved onto my knees so that I could look at him with a smirk. “Think you’ll beg for it? Because I’d like to see that, too.”

He laughed, blushing as he looked up a little to the ceiling. “I can’t believe a difference a year makes. Boring prude to begging my tiny girlfriend to fuck my ass... Yes, I probably will.” 

“You weren’t a prude,” I giggled in return. “You were just… not as experienced as Jasper and me. Though, I’m starting to wonder if you two trained together on the same secret sex monk mountain.” 

Edward threw his head back in a big laugh. He raised an eyebrow in my direction. “Oh, does his oral skills match mine?”

Sitting back on my heels, I leaned my head back and forth. “You’re still the best. But…” I trailed off. Jasper gave him a good run for his money, and he knew it. “That man gives much better head than me. Just saying…”

“Honey, it’s like trying to say ice cream is better than cookies when they’re both spectacular, just different.”

“And some people like ice cream sandwiches,” I joked. 

He nodded once earnestly. “Goddamn right. Why pick if I don’t have to? We don’t have to. We can choose this.”

“Is it really possible for us to have it all? Aren’t we asking too much of the universe at this point?” I asked curiously. I could feel my anxiety start to build in the back of my mind. Too much good was happening, even with the canceled PTO. I was terrified it was going to be taken away in an instant. 

“The universe doesn’t give you a thing, Bella. You have to take it or work for it. Or beg.” He grinned at his words, rubbing his finger under my chin for a second. “I’m never going to stop demanding more. For me. For us. For you and Jasper.”

Quickly leaning forward again for a hug, I pressed my face into his neck. “Good,” I mumbled against his skin. 

“Ready for bed?” He rubbed my back gently. I nodded slowly, not moving my face. “Yeah, me too. I got the alarm set for six. Do you still want to go to the set tomorrow?” I just nodded my head once more in response to his question. “Yay,” he breathed before pressing a kiss on the top of my head. Edward reached over and flicked off the lamp before sinking into the bed beside me. We adjusted until we were completely wrapped in each other’s embrace.  

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